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Zohan's enemies have decided that they can't mess with the Zohan, hence they've decided to break The Beast (Kung Fu Hustle) out of the mental institution he voluntarily put himself in. Who takes this?

the beast ftw..

http://www.celluloid-dreams.de/content/images/kritiken-filmbilder/kung-fu-hustle/kung-fu-hustle-5.jpg

the beast is the Toad dude, correct? If so, he will own Zohan.

Bullshit. Zohan is faster than the Beast, the Beast said "In kung fu, speed decides the winner." Zohan can defy gravity, double foot uppercut.

eh, probably. Zohan is kinda unbeatable isn't he? Is there anything he can't do? He'd probably solo The Volturi and your precious Akasha .

Uh, nah. But he certainly pwns Beast.

i hate this horrible character, but Beast is a goner

Zohan Looney Tune level powers FTW!

Awesome Sig BSkywalker. True bloods gonna be a classic!

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Bullshit. Zohan is faster than the Beast, the Beast said "In kung fu, speed decides the winner." Zohan can defy gravity, double foot uppercut.

That wasn't speed necessarily, son.

What was speed: They both caught bullets; Zohan caught his that was fired several feet away, Beast caught his that was fired a couple inches from his temple. Beast's also taken more damage, iirc.

Ergo, The Beast wins here, so STFU; GTFO.

The Beast wins.

If this doesn't show speed, then I don't know what will.

The Beast has strength, skill, and speed on his side.

5dXHw36ngOA





I challenge anyone to find a video with faster feats than this.


Originally posted by Robtard
Ergo, The Beast wins here, so STFU; GTFO.

The runt is correct.

Originally posted by Impediment
The runt

Not what your wife said.

Originally posted by Robtard
That wasn't speed necessarily, son.

What was speed: They both caught bullets; Zohan caught his that was fired several feet away, Beast caught his that was fired a couple inches from his temple. Beast's also taken more damage, iirc.

Ergo, The Beast wins here, so STFU; GTFO.

Speed? Zohan dodged a bullet from a few feet away, caught the second between his fingers from half that distance, then caught the third in his nostril from a few inches away. Yeah, he's as fast as Beast. faster.

Damage soak/Pain threshold? Zohan, well, he doesn't take damage. Phantom clocked him with a crowbar like six times, and it didn't even cut him. Beast? He felt pain when he fought Sing. Zohan feels no pain, Beast feels pain.



Zohan defies gravity. The double foot uppercut and the push up scene in the salon

Originally posted by Impediment
The Beast wins.

If this doesn't show speed, then I don't know what will.

The Beast has strength, skill, and speed on his side.

5dXHw36ngOA





I challenge anyone to find a video with faster feats than this.



Can't find a vid, but the neighborhood watch scene is a good example.

Challenge met.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Speed? Zohan dodged a bullet from a few feet away, caught the second between his fingers from half that distance, then caught the third in his nostril from a few inches away. Yeah, he's as fast as Beast. faster.

Damage soak/Pain threshold? Zohan, well, he doesn't take damage. Phantom clocked him with a crowbar like six times, and it didn't even cut him. Beast? He felt pain when he fought Sing. Zohan feels no pain, Beast feels pain.



Zohan defies gravity. The double foot uppercut and the push up scene in the salon

Nostril wasn't a speed catch, the bullet just happened to hit him there and stuck, since he's a bad-ass.

Beast literrally fired into his temple from a couple inches and caught it with his other hand, which was at his side at the time. Speed, goes to the beast.

Beast took the Buddha's Palm attack and didn't die; it was strong enough to create a suepr-massive crater, son. Damage soak, goes to beast.

Fighting skill, Beast is a martial arts master. I'd say edge to him as well.

So do STFU;GTFO.

Originally posted by Robtard
Nostril wasn't a speed catch, the bullet just happened to hit him there and stuck, since he's a bad-ass.

Beast literrally fired into his temple from a couple inches and caught it with his other hand, which was at his side at the time. Speed, goes to the beast.

Beast took the Buddha's Palm attack and didn't die; it was strong enough to create a suepr-massive crater, son. Damage soak, goes to beast.

Fighting skill, Beast is a martial arts master. I'd say edge to him as well.

So do STFU;GTFO.

Damage soak most certainly does not go to Beast. Zohan took half a dozen crowbar hits to the face, he felt nothing. One more time: Zohan feels no pain, Beast feels pain. He felt it throughout his fight with Sing, and the Lion's roar pwned his ass.

Catching two bullets trumps catching one, also, Beast knew when the bullet was coming, he knew when to raise his hand.

Neighborhood watch fight scene, dude. Zohan moved so fast he was beyond a blur.

No dude, Buddha's Palm is more than a crowbar.

No, quantity doesn't always trump quality; it doesn't here.

Post it.

Repeat: STFU:GTFO.

Originally posted by Robtard
No dude, Buddha's Palm is more than a crowbar.

No, quantity doesn't always trump quality; it doesn't here.

Post it.

Repeat: STFU:GTFO.

Sing had Beast on the ropes, feeling pain, with a few kicks and punches. He feels pain, Zohan does not.

Beast was done after the palm attack. He tried in vain to attack again, but Sing countered and showed mercy.

Look, they both catch bullets, they both show mad h2h speed. Zohan has two things on Beast. 1. He feels no pain. 2. He defied gravity.


Kiss my ass.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Sing had Beast on the ropes, feeling pain, with a few kicks and punches. He feels pain, Zohan does not.

Beast was done after the palm attack. He tried in vain to attack again, but Sing countered and showed mercy.

Look, they both catch bullets, they both show mad h2h speed. Zohan has two things on Beast. 1. He feels no pain. 2. He defied gravity.


Kiss my ass.

Sing was super-strong, super-fast, maybe that's why.

Beast was done, but he survived it. Zohan has not taken anything close to this.

Zohan being able to levitate three feat from the ground and kick isn't going to matter much to The Beast.


Repeat: STFU;GTFO

Originally posted by Robtard
Sing was super-strong, super-fast, maybe that's why.

Beast was done, but he survived it. Zohan has not taken anything close to this.

Zohan being able to levitate three feat from the ground and kick isn't going to matter much to The Beast.


Repeat: STFU;GTFO

Zohan is just as fast, just as strong. Dont be a douche.

Zohan doesn't HAVE to "survive anything like that", because he takes no damage, and feels no pain.

So Zohan being able to defy gravity means shit? K.

No, Zohan's not as fast, this is just a fact. What are his greatest strength feats?

Because he hasn't had to take what the Beast has.

Ok, fine. What is Zohan's ability to kick with both feet while floating still going to do to The Beast? Who's faster, stronger and has more damage-soak. Sell your point to me, go.

One last time. Neighborhood watch fight scene. Watch the movie, I can't find it online. He moved just as fast as Beast.

He'd take what the Beast has and lol. The man had a piranha sucking on his balls and didn't feel it.

Dunno but it's cool.

You're the pro-Zohan, you post it. I don't recall "blurring speeds".

Piranha's teeth doesn't come close to the damage the Buddha's Palm dished out.

It happened in the movie, there isn't a vid of it online. Watch the movie, see for yourself.

Razor sharp teeth biting into testicles doesn't hurt? K.

Here ya go, babe:

NUNuzjA4ML4

Beast never moves that fast

He never said it wouldn't hurt, RJ, but some nibbles to the groin from a small fish with sharp teeth does not compare to the (probably) tons of pressure the Beast was crushed under by Sing's Buddhist Palm technique.

Originally posted by XanatosForever
He never said it wouldn't hurt, RJ, but some nibbles to the groin from a small fish with sharp teeth does not compare to the (probably) tons of pressure the Beast was crushed under by Sing's Buddhist Palm technique.

And a crowbar to the face? Half a dozen times? And not even a welt, a cut, not an ounce of blood spilt? Not even a red mark?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi


Beast never moves that fast

Yeah, The Beast has moved faster, when catching a bullet before it hit his temple from a couple inches away.

That would require moving faster than the human eye can follow, which he did, you couldn't see his hand raise up and catch the bullet between two fingers. All happened faster than the blink of an eye. Zohan you can see.

Ergo, STFU;GTFO.

Originally posted by XanatosForever
He never said it wouldn't hurt, RJ, but some nibbles to the groin from a small fish with sharp teeth does not compare to the (probably) tons of pressure the Beast was crushed under by Sing's Buddhist Palm technique.

Probably? It created a super-massive crater.

Originally posted by Robtard
Yeah, The Beast has, when catching a bullet before it hit his temple from a couple inches away.

That would require moving faster than the human eye can follow, which he did, you couldn't see his hand raise up and catch the bullet between two fingers. All happened faster than the blink of an eye.

Ergo, STFU;GTFO.


Zohan caught one in his nostril from about the same distance. Nostril catch trumps finger catch.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
And a crowbar to the face? Half a dozen times? And not even a welt, a cut, not an ounce of blood spilt? Not even a red mark?

Assuming Phantom and Zohan are equal in strength, those hits would probably be akin to maybe decent car wreck, we'll say about 60 mph.

Half a dozen 60 mph smacks to the face =/= Invisible Meteor to the entire body, as that's the only thing I can think of that would have enough force to make a crater like the Buddha Palm did.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Zohan caught one in his nostril from about the same distance. Nostril catch trumps finger catch.

No, dude. I've already explained this to you. He was shot in the face, happened to hit his nostril can catch there. That's a durability-feat; not speed.

The Beast can move faster than the eye can follow, as seen, can Zohan?

Originally posted by Robtard
Probably? It created a super-massive crater.

I'm not good at estimating, and I don't want to overshoot it.

Originally posted by Robtard
No, dude. I've already explained this to you. He was shot in the face, happened to hit his nostril can catch there. That's a durability-feat; not speed.

The Beast can move faster than the eye can follow, as seen, can Zohan? Oh yeah? You sure about that? Link proving it. Beast catches bullets, Zohan catches bullets, let's leave it at that.

Let's talk about combat speed, yeah? Zohan showed greater combat speed in the vid I posted.

You forgetting the flashback scene where Zohan has his hand cut off? Yeah, quote me a scene for Beast that even comes close to that.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Oh yeah? You sure about that? Link proving it. Beast catches bullets, Zohan catches bullets, let's leave it at that.

Let's talk about combat speed, yeah? Zohan showed greater combat speed in the vid I posted.

You forgetting the flashback scene where Zohan has his hand cut off? Yeah, quote me a scene for Beast that even comes close to that.

Because the gun was pointed and fired into his face. While The Beast's faster than the eye can follow catch is shown to us. Speed, The Beast, just accept this.

So your angle now is that The Beast can move at what would be invisible-speed ONLY when catching a bullet? LoL, poor form.

I do, it's surviving the Buddha's Palm attack and taking it at ground zero.

They're both bad-ass, but logic would have to side with the guy who's faster and taken more damage.

mQZ_Z5H8MNo


But I guess this feat means nothing, just like this:

Cq0M1mdlFug

And this:

O1qd19Ej4IQ&feature=channel


K.

Originally posted by Robtard
Because the gun was pointed and fired into his face. While The Beast's faster than the eye can follow catch is shown to us. Speed, The Beast, just accept this.

So your angle now is that The Beast can move at what would be invisible-speed ONLY when catching a bullet? LoL, poor form.

I do, it's surviving the Buddha's Palm attack and taking it at ground zero.

The bullet was fired by Beast, he knew where it would be, man. Zohan, when catching the first bullet, had no idea where it would be. He saw it coming and reacted, catching it with his fingers, BETWEEN his fingers.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
The bullet was fired by Beast, he knew where it would be, man. Zohan, when catching the first bullet, had no idea where it would be. He saw it coming and reacted, catching it with his fingers, BETWEEN his fingers.

Beast caught it between his fingers too, he did so with only having the amount of time it would take a bullet to travel an inch, as he caught it between the distance of the gun's barrel and his temple.

It was invisible-speeds, akin to how Lestat moved in IWTV.

Originally posted by Robtard
Beast caught it between his fingers too, he did so with only having the amount of time it would take a bullet to travel an inch, as he caught it between the distance of the gun's barrel and his temple.

It was invisible-speeds, akin to how Lestat moved in IWTV. His finger were together, he BLOCKED it, whereas Zohan picked it out of the air, BETWEEN his fingers.

Hell, Zohan could do this with a severed hand, as shown in the vid.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
His finger were together, he BLOCKED it, whereas Zohan picked it out of the air, BETWEEN his fingers.

Hell, Zohan could do this with a severed hand, as shown in the vid.

What? No they weren't. The Beast casually reached up with the bullet inches away caught it between his index finger and his middle finger.

Originally posted by XanatosForever
What? No they weren't. The Beast casually reached up with the bullet inches away caught it between his index finger and his middle finger. I think you're wrong. Looking.

OK **** you, you're right.

Yeah, and comparing Zohan's damage soak to Beasts is kinda...dumb.

Yeah, Zohan and Phantom were super strong, but it was in the realm of realism. Zohan punched the guys while doing the hood watch, but he didn't insta ko them, he kicked through a brick wall, etc...

Beast smashed Sing's face through the floor and destroyed the entire floor. Once he turned frog, he was demolishing the apartment complex. As for his durability, he was tanking hits from Sing, who was literally smashing peoples feet flat, and was strong enough to kick chunks of concrete at a reasonable rate of speed. Even before he'd become the Chosen One Kung Fu Genius, when he was healing himself, he was leaving dents in the water tower.

I lost interest.

Likely they'll never touch each other, and if they do, they can't hurt each other.

Zohan hasn't shown enough damage output to hurt Beast. No one in their right mind would say otherwise.

Beast on the other hand, has taken more damage, and dished more out.

Well, how tough does someone have to be to be hit multiple times in the face with a crowbar, and for it not to even leave a red spot?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Well, how tough does someone have to be to be hit multiple times in the face with a crowbar, and for it not to even leave a red spot?

Depends. Someone like Zohan could take the shots because he has a certain degree of enhanced durability....and the crowbar and Phantom's strength weren't enough to overcome that.

But if someone like Sing or Beast hit him.....then one of two things would happen. Either Zohan would get hurt, or the crowbar would break.

Originally posted by KingD19
Depends. Someone like Zohan could take the shots because he has a certain degree of enhanced durability....and the crowbar and Phantom's strength weren't enough to overcome that.

But if someone like Sing or Beast hit him.....then one of two things would happen. Either Zohan would get hurt, or the crowbar would break.

More likely the crowbar would bend, cartoon style, and Zohan has a welt.

Also there was the scene where Zohan jammed his hand into the moving propellor of the jet ski and he wasn't hurt.

Beast took damage as he fought, he got cut and he bled. Even when the axe gang guy was hitting him in the chair, I think he got a nosebleed.

You guys are full of shit if, after watching this vid:

NUNuzjA4ML4

You think the Beast is faster. The vid Mattie posted, Beast is fast, but Zohan is moving faster than YuLaw, faster than Lestat, faster than any if the Twitwinks, faster than Neo.

Remember the scene where Morpheus is fighting Neo, and dude says damn he's fast? Yeah, faster than that.

Disagree? Post a vid proving me wrong.

RJ, yes, Zohan is fast, but think about it. You see how fast he was moving compared those random, regular thugs?

Originally posted by Impediment
5dXHw36ngOA

2:30-2:45, and 2:57-3:05

Beast was moving in the same fashion. I dare you to tell me that the landlords are just as easy to speedblitz as the thugs.

Originally posted by XanatosForever
RJ, yes, Zohan is fast, but think about it. You see how fast he was moving compared those random, regular thugs?



2:30-2:45, and 2:57-3:05

Beast was moving in the same fashion. I dare you to tell me that the landlords are just as easy to speedblitz as the thugs.

Whether they were random thugs or not is irrelevant, what IS relevant is that Zohan, in his vid, is moving faster.

Why? Because he had more targets? Beast got the same blurring affect going against someone of much better speed and reaction time than a bunch of hired guns. This trumps Zohan.

Dude.........Zohan moved as fast as he did, there's no denying that....What difference does it make WHO he was moving that fast against?

And Zohan was beyond a blur, man.

Wrong, Zohan moved so fast he was a blur to the thugs and the other guy on neighborhood watch, regular guys all said and done. Beast was a blur to one of the masters of kung fu, and you're full of shit if you think that doesn't count for anything.

Zohan moves that fast from the cameras point of view. It doesn't matter who he's facing. He could be facing Rambo, Mini Me, Forrest Gump or the entire cast of the Matrix, he'd still move that fast.

Beast, when going at it toe to toe with the two, they managed to block quite a few of his attacks.

Zohan and Beast, in this fight, neither would be a blur to the other. but Zohan DID move faster, therefore he has faster combat speed than the Beast. Like it or not, it's right there in the vid. Read the MVF golden rule.

i am sorry RJ i know you want me to side with you but i cant..

if it is by depiction of speed i think the beast is more impressive.

i really cant tell you who would win or why but i favor beast

I "want?"


Um......K.

Originally posted by Robtard
No, Zohan's not as fast, this is just a fact. What are his greatest strength feats?

Because he hasn't had to take what the Beast has.

Ok, fine. What is Zohan's ability to kick with both feet while floating still going to do to The Beast? Who's faster, stronger and has more damage-soak. Sell your point to me, go.

Watch the Beast vid. Tell me where Beast moves as fast as Zohan did in the neighborhood watch fight scene.

The Beast, when being beat by the axe gang member, sustained a nosebleed. Zohan, when beat with a crowbar, didn't even get a welt. Not a red mark. Nothing. Forget the buddhist palm BS, Beast is succeptible tp physical harm/injury in H2H combat. Zohan is not. Durability goes to Zohan.

Speed and damage soak, Zohan. Strength? Probably Beast.

Originally posted by XanatosForever
Wrong, Zohan moved so fast he was a blur to the thugs and the other guy on neighborhood watch, regular guys all said and done. Beast was a blur to one of the masters of kung fu, and you're full of shit if you think that doesn't count for anything.

Also, in the vid Mattie posted, at 3:00, the Beast attacks the landlord. The camera switches to several points of view. Beast's POV, the Landlords point of view, the axe gangs point of view, the landlady's point of view, and a neutral point of view (over the Beast's right shoulder.)

As the camera cycles through all these views, the Beast's speed remains the same. So this whole "Zohan looked that fast because it was through this or that guys eyes!!!!" is crap.

i honestly don't know who'd win, but i do know that Jim Carey in 'The Mask' would phuck them both up.

Well yeah, he'd just pull a nuke outta his ass.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Also, in the vid Mattie posted, at 3:00, the Beast attacks the landlord. The camera switches to several points of view. Beast's POV, the Landlords point of view, the axe gangs point of view, the landlady's point of view, and a neutral point of view (over the Beast's right shoulder.)

As the camera cycles through all these views, the Beast's speed remains the same. So this whole "Zohan looked that fast because it was through this or that guys eyes!!!!" is crap.

Then why the hell would they also show Paris moving slow as molasses compared to beast? I can tell you right now, any of those random axe gang members would not have the reaction time to notice the difference in speeds, and the final battle proves this as well, as when Sing is plowing through the mooks, they're all moving just as slow as Paris was. Or do you think thugs = landlords? The POV argument is most definitely not crap in this debate.

Also, who the hell said Beast isn't susceptible to damae? Yes, he bleeds, but he also tanked the massive force from the Buddhist Palm. Did it hurt him? You're damn right it did, he even cried out for mercy over it, and while it may have partly been a ploy, he's already proven that he doesn't resort to that tactic until he's gotten sufficiently ****ed up. The fact he could move quick enough to try and attack Sing at the end should be a feat in its own right.

Originally posted by marwash22
i honestly don't know who'd win, but i do know that Jim Carey in 'The Mask' would phuck them both up. Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Well yeah, he'd just pull a nuke outta his ass.

Seriously, why even bother mentioning spite like that?

Originally posted by XanatosForever
Then why the hell would they also show Paris moving slow as molasses compared to beast? I can tell you right now, any of those random axe gang members would not have the reaction time to notice the difference in speeds, and the final battle proves this as well, as when Sing is plowing through the mooks, they're all moving just as slow as Paris was. Or do you think thugs = landlords? The POV argument is most definitely not crap in this debate.

Also, who the hell said Beast isn't susceptible to damae? Yes, he bleeds, but he also tanked the massive force from the Buddhist Palm. Did it hurt him? You're damn right it did, he even cried out for mercy over it, and while it may have partly been a ploy, he's already proven that he doesn't resort to that tactic until he's gotten sufficiently ****ed up. The fact he could move quick enough to try and attack Sing at the end should be a feat in its own right.

Why were the Jedi showed fighting at human speed one scene, then at super human speed the next? It happens in all movies, man. Sucks I know.

Beast is vulnerable to h2h combat. Kicks and punches, head butts, etc, Zohan is not. This fight will be h2h combat, kicks and punches.......see the pattern?

I'm leaning toward Zohan again. I just sped through 'Kung Fu Hustle' to watch the scene with the Beast, i didn't see anything that would suggest he could hurt Zohan... who has looney tune powers akin to The Mask.

Originally posted by marwash22
I'm leaning toward Zohan again. I just sped through 'Kung Fu Hustle' to watch the scene with the Beast, i didn't see anything that would suggest he could hurt Zohan... who has looney tune powers akin to The Mask. I call stalemate. If Beast goes Toad, doubtful Zohan can hurt him.

yeah, seems as though this would be a draw due to neither being able to do damage. That palm thing at the end was epic and the Beast was barely hurt.

Stephen Chow needs to make more movies, 'Kung Fu Hustle 2' was supposed to come out 2 years ago.

Beast was pretty much done, his flower stabby attack was a last ditch effort.

bump

Originally posted by Lestov16
bump

Beast won due to greater feats, though could be a stalemate.

Here we go again.....

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Here we go again.....

STFU:GTFO

Nah I'll stay and hand you your ass again.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Nah I'll stay and hand you your ass again.

That has yet to happen in this thread or any other.

Sure it hasn't.

http://i698.photobucket.com/albums/vv341/jedibeastie2/tylerwut.jpg

Correct, it hasn't.

What is with you and you man-crush on Brad Armpitt? You've had it for years, it's weird.

Originally posted by Robtard
Correct, it hasn't.

What is with you and you man-crush on Brad Armpitt? You've had it for years, it's weird. No, it has. I've handed you yours, you've handed me mine, fair trade.


Nothing special about Brad Pitt, I just like the character he plays in Fight Club. All the Pitt sigs I wear, all Tyler Durden.

You are not your khakis.

Yippee-Kai-ay, mother****er.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Yippee-Kai-ay, mother****er.

McClane > Tyler Durden/The Narrator

Well yeah, McClane>>>Project Mayhem. The Pikey? He hands Mac his ass on a silver platter.

Stop being a fanboy.

Stop ignoring the fact that the Pikey has Mac's damage soak infinity times over, and broke a mans neck with one punch.

Bong. Smack. Boom.

fanboy

Both of you take some Midol and cool it.

Originally posted by Robtard
fanboy heartbeat




Originally posted by Impediment
Both of you take some Midol and cool it. Show me your penis.

Ugh, not this again. gay_rage

Originally posted by Impediment
Both of you take some Midol and cool it.

Show me your penis in your wife's butt.