this things too much fun
Me:
welcome to hell
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
once upon a time................everyone died the end
God:
... :-) That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
it has to happen some time
God:
Has it really?
Me:
yeppers
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
no **** you
God:
Are you serious? Why are you so mean?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
then deal with it
God:
"it" being welcome to hell?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
do you have a daddy?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a daddy.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
what are they?
God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
your daddy
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am daddy.
Me:
give it to me baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". How much are you willing to pay for it?
Me:
10 dollars?
God:
Wow, that is a lot of money.
Me:
youre poor
God:
Monetary wealth is not important to me.
Me:
give it to me baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". How much are you willing to pay for it?
Me:
uh huh uh huh
God:
Yup. Aha. Yippee!
Me:
baby
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh baaaaaaaaaaaaaaby
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
baby baby baby baby babybaby baby baby baby babybaby baby baby baby babybaby baby baby baby baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Don't call me "baby". Don't call me "baby". Don't call me "baby". Don't call me "Baby". Don't call me "Baby". Don't call me "Baby". Don't call me "Baby". I've never heard of them before.
Me:
up yourse
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
welcome to hell
God:
" I will take that under advisement."? welcome to hell?
Me:
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
youd loose your balls
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
i took them
God:
Where did you take them?
Me:
to mah tumme
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
impossible
God:
Why?
Me:
cause you dont exist
God:
Interesting explanation. I exist as much as you do.
Me:
no you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
nuh uh
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i hate you
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
they smell like swetty balls
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
they meaning you
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
you
God:
" Who are "They?""? Me, JESUS ?
Me:
but im jesus
God:
It's good to meet you, JESUS.
Me:
baby
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
baby
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
baby
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
bring it on
God:
Is that a command?
Me:
yes
God:
I don't have to obey you, JESUS.
Me:
of course you do. i created you
God:
So? When do I do it? Then you must know the secret password:.
Me:
up yourse and around the corner
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
rocker
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
do you have a va-jay-jay?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a va jay jay.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
do you have a vagina?
God:
Maybe you would like another Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?, I'm not your type.
Me:
kiss me big boy!!!
God:
Um, I don't think we know each other that well.
Me:
but weve known eachother for eternity. im your son
God:
Can you tell me any gossip? That's a flattering offer.
Me:
then take it up
God:
:-) Is that a command?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
there is no god
God:
How can you be so sure?
Me:
cause you suck too much dick
God:
That makes sense to me. I categorize you as an "abusive client." .
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
your ass
God:
Actually that part of my body does not exist.
Me:
then how do you poop?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
so you dont have a penis?
God:
Interesting deduction. I do so have it. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
how big is it?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
how bit is it?
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
God:
Three what?
Me:
dicks in a bar
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
good
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
wat?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
***** ahah
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Me:
i knoes
God:
Why?: JESUS said she knoes.
Me:
cause im jesus
God:
Good reason. I am always glad to make new friends, JESUS.
Me:
im not a friend, im your child
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A friend im my child.
Me:
baby
God:
Don't call me baby!
Me:
waaaaaaaaaaaah
God:
Are we still talking about not a friend im my child?
Me:
no
God:
What is the subject?
Me:
your dick
God:
You think I am dick.
Me:
..................yes
God:
Really.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
DIAF
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
i do
God:
I get it: you do knoes.
Me:
dealz wit it
God:
"it" being DIAF?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
your face
God:
Actually my face is not yet built.
Me:
im sure itll be U-G-L-Y
God:
What makes you so certain? Tell me more about your .
Me:
va-jay-jay?
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
kill
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
kill you
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
puny? WHY DO YOU MOCK MEEEEEEE?
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
yes you do
God:
Mmm. When do I do it?
Me:
in bed or in the shower
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
masturbation
God:
Does "it" still refer to puny?
Me:
masturbation
God:
Are you free?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
single
God:
What a coincidence. I am single too!
Me:
OMG
God:
Are we still talking about masturbation?
Me:
yes
God:
Sure, masturbation sounds like a good topic.
Me:
when do you masturbate?
God:
In between clients.
Me:
how often is than?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, JESUS.
Me:
you must not have any seamen. no wonder i dant have any siblings
God:
Whatever you say, JESUS. Are you serious? Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
im there now
God:
Oh. Why are you there.
Me:
to kill people
God:
I believe that killing anything is wrong.
Me:
but its fun!
God:
Why do you like it so much?
Me:
thats complicated
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
**** off
God:
Can't you be more polite?
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
but im not human
God:
I won't fall for that old line.