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What do you call a stoned Mairuzu?















Highruzu.

Originally posted by Quincy
What do you call a stoned Mairuzu?















Highruzu.
Heh?

Most of the jokes I know are offensive.

So....

"What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car?"

"Get in the car. . . . . ."

Yeah, lame-sauce

Originally posted by Kelly_Bean
Heh?

I thought maybe you'd continue the trend and tell a KMC joke.



but you disappointed me.

Originally posted by Quincy
I thought maybe you'd continue the trend and tell a KMC joke.



but you disappointed me.

AT LEAST I TRIED! I'M ONLY ONE GOAT!!

Originally posted by Scythe
AT LEAST I TRIED! I'M ONLY ONE GOAT!!


Oh no no not you buddy! I was talking to Kelly Bean. She responded with a very unenthusiastic "heh?"



You represented!

Why did the Jacope cross the road?

To get the soccer ball that was sitting there.

Originally posted by Barker
Why did the Jacope cross the road?

To get the soccer ball that was sitting there.

HAH!

Originally posted by Quincy
Oh no no not you buddy! I was talking to Kelly Bean. She responded with a very unenthusiastic "heh?"



You represented!

This one's really bad, so I apologize completely.

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable??"

"AIDS...."

I know, sigh...

What's the worst joke in the whole world?











the roleplay forum!


Badum-bump!

Two Jacopes walk into a bar.

I kill myself because there are TWO idiots of that caliber on the earth now.

Originally posted by Quincy
I thought maybe you'd continue the trend and tell a KMC joke.



but you disappointed me.
Make me actually laugh and I won't disappoint you.

Originally posted by Kelly_Bean
Make me actually laugh and I won't disappoint you.

"And he says: PEDOPHILE?! THAT'S AN AWFUL BIG WORD FOR A TEN YEAR OLD!!!"

Aha!

Originally posted by Kelly_Bean
Make me actually laugh and I won't disappoint you.

http://i314.photobucket.com/albums/ll440/ErroCook/595.gif

Originally posted by Scythe
"And he says: PEDOPHILE?! THAT'S AN AWFUL BIG WORD FOR A TEN YEAR OLD!!!"

Aha!
Lol.
You win, Scythe, you win!
And in such a short amount of time too!

Originally posted by Scythe
"And he says: PEDOPHILE?! THAT'S AN AWFUL BIG WORD FOR A TEN YEAR OLD!!!"

Aha!


HAH!

Originally posted by Quincy
http://i314.photobucket.com/albums/ll440/ErroCook/595.gif
hanuts
Poor bunny.

From the worst movie I thoroughly enjoy.





How do you get a witch pregnant?











You f*** her.

Me and my musician buddies sometimes get together and try to tell "Metal" jokes, pretty much horrible jokes that end in mutilation and killing and whatnot. Here's one of my faves:

So, there's these three guys at a bar talking about how much their wives b*tch at them. They then decide that when they get home, they're going to do everything that their women ask them to. A week goes by and they meet up at the same bar again.

The first dude says: "Man, I don't think we thought this through, I was sitting on the couch watching shit and when I dropped my f*ckin' cigarette on the couch, my wife b*tched: "why don't you just burn the whole house down?" That place is still smoldering..."

The second dude says: "Wow, I got one. I was working on the car, and I dropped my wrench and it dented the fender of our car. She b*tched: "Why don't you just tear the whole car apart?" It took me all f*ckin' night, but I did it...."

The third dude says: "You guys don't have shit, I can top that, and when I tell you, you'll know why I can't ever hang out anymore. When I walked in the door of my house after work, my wife was doing the dishes, and I felt a little kinky, so I reached down and grabbed her crotch. She b*tched: "Cut that out!"

*He held out his hands*

"Ever seen one of these real close?"

...

....

...

Heh.

Originally posted by Scythe
Me and my musician buddies sometimes get together and try to tell "Metal" jokes, pretty much horrible jokes that end in mutilation and killing and whatnot. Here's one of my faves:

So, there's these three guys at a bar talking about how much their wives b*tch at them. They then decide that when they get home, they're going to do everything that their women ask them to. A week goes by and they meet up at the same bar again.

The first dude says: "Man, I don't think we tohught this through, I was sitting on the couch watching shit and when I dropped my f*ckin' cigarette on the couch, my wife b*tched: "why don't you just burn the whole house down?" That place is still smoldering..."

The second dude says: "Wow, I got one. I was working on the car, and I dropped my wrench and it dented the fender of our car. She b*tched: "Why don't you just tear the whole car apart?" It took me all f*ckin' night, but I did it...."

The third dude says: "You guys don't have shit, I can top that, and when I tell you, you'll know why I can't ever hang out anymore. When I walked in the door of my house after work, my wife was doing the dishes, and I felt a little kinky, so I reached down and grabbed her crotch. She b*tched: "Cut that out!"

*He held out his hands*

"Ever seen one of these real close?"

...

....

...

Heh.


HEY-OH!!!

How do you properly eat a vegetable?









You take it out of the wheelchair first.

Hahaha!

Originally posted by Kraken
How do you properly eat a vegetable?









You take it out of the wheelchair first.
That's mean, but I lul'd anyway.



What are three words you dread the most while making love?


"Honey, I'm home."

Originally posted by Kelly_Bean
That's mean, but I lul'd anyway.



What are three words you dread the most while making love?


"Honey, I'm home."

OH SHI-!

Originally posted by Scythe
OH SHI-!
I won't tell if you won't.

PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON AND TOSS ME OUT THE WINDOW!

Dun Dun Dun!

There are four people who will rise from the dead if you kill them:
Superman, Doctor Who, Jesus Christ, and Lord Knightfa11. Of course the validity of the latter two's death will always be questioned.

Originally posted by Lord Knightfa11
There are four people who will rise from the dead if you kill them:
Superman, Doctor Who, Jesus Christ, and Lord Knightfa11. Of course the validity of the latter two's death will always be questioned.
Cue Crickets... now.

bitties

thread sucks

What did the blonds ankles say to each other?


They never met.

Originally posted by Mairuzu
thread sucks

I was hoping for more jokes about KMC and it's members shrug

I got nothin.

Bruceskywalker walks into the South. PERIOD.

How many ScarletSpeedsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just call an electrician, the SS's are still looking at themselves in the mirror.

Rogu Jedi and another guy jump off the building at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The other guy, Rogue Jedi stopped to ask for directions.

I'm so ugly that when I was a kid, my bath toys were a hair dryer and a toaster.

Mairuzu's so stoned that when he smokes weed, he can think clearly.

what

Originally posted by Toku King
Bruceskywalker walks into the South. PERIOD.

How many ScarletSpeedsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just call an electrician, the SS's are still looking at themselves in the mirror.

Rogu Jedi and another guy jump off the building at the same time. Who hits the ground first? The other guy, Rogue Jedi stopped to ask for directions.

I'm so ugly that when I was a kid, my bath toys were a hair dryer and a toaster.

Mairuzu's so stoned that when he smokes weed, he can think clearly.
the lasts ones so true crylaugh

i like the RJ one the best

awebrow you two know absolutely nothing do you

two doods are sitting at a table in a restauraunt when a chick walks up to them and asks, "Why are you staring at me?"
the one dood says, "What?"
flustered, she repeated, "Why are you staring at me?"
"I was just thinking." he said innocently.
"Well can you stop?"
"Sure, do you mind giving me some advice?" he asks.
"On what?"
"On how to stop thinking?"

Jokes are suppose to be about KMC and its members. But whatever.

trying to think of a welsh one mhmm

Originally posted by Mairuzu
awebrow you two know absolutely nothing do you

Aww can't take a joke.

Nah, i can take a joke stoned

Too bad yours makes no sense

Originally posted by Mairuzu
Nah, i can take a joke stoned

Too bad yours makes no sense

Too bad you're in denial. It makes perfect sense.

i thought it was a good joke

you guys got it.

Toku King, BruceSkywalker, and JacopeX all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. Who wins?






Everybody. stoned

crylaugh

HAH!

Originally posted by Wittig
Toku King, BruceSkywalker, and JacopeX all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. Who wins?






Everybody. stoned

Wittig's like a car: He pulls out before he checks to see if anyone else is cumming.

So I say "Do you love me?" and she goes "No, but that's a real nice ski mask!"

Originally posted by Ax3l
So I say "Do you love me?" and she goes "No, but that's a real nice ski mask!"

HAH! Awesome.

Originally posted by Ax3l
So I say "Do you love me?" and she goes "No, but that's a real nice ski mask!"

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic Priest? Acne normally comes onto a boy after the age of 12.

Thats fudged up. O.o

Mairuzu smokes so much weed you could roll him up and smoke him and find out its the best sh*t you ever smoked.

now that makes sense stoned

Impediment goes to the doctor and says "I c-c-can't s-s-stop s-s-stuttering". The doctor checks him over and says "The problem is your penis is so big that it's pulling down on your vocal cords and causing you to stutter. The way to fix it is to cut half of it off". Impediment says "W-w-whatever i-i-it t-t-takes".

Six weeks later, Impediment goes back to the doctor and says "I don't stutter anymore but my wife left me because I cant satisfy her anymore. I want you to put my giant penis back on". The doctor said "F-F-F*ck y-y-you!".

Originally posted by Impediment
Impediment goes to the doctor and says "I c-c-can't s-s-stop s-s-stuttering". The doctor checks him over and says "The problem is your penis is so big that it's pulling down on your vocal cords and causing you to stutter. The way to fix it is to cut half of it off". Impediment says "W-w-whatever i-i-it t-t-takes".

Six weeks later, Impediment goes back to the doctor and says "I don't stutter anymore but my wife left me because I cant satisfy her anymore. I want you to put my giant penis back on". The doctor said "F-F-F*ck y-y-you!".

HAH!

Originally posted by Impediment
Impediment goes to the doctor and says "I c-c-can't s-s-stop s-s-stuttering". The doctor checks him over and says "The problem is your penis is so big that it's pulling down on your vocal cords and causing you to stutter. The way to fix it is to cut half of it off". Impediment says "W-w-whatever i-i-it t-t-takes".

Six weeks later, Impediment goes back to the doctor and says "I don't stutter anymore but my wife left me because I cant satisfy her anymore. I want you to put my giant penis back on". The doctor said "F-F-F*ck y-y-you!". crylaugh crylaugh

Originally posted by Impediment
Impediment goes to the doctor and says "I c-c-can't s-s-stop s-s-stuttering". The doctor checks him over and says "The problem is your penis is so big that it's pulling down on your vocal cords and causing you to stutter. The way to fix it is to cut half of it off". Impediment says "W-w-whatever i-i-it t-t-takes".

Six weeks later, Impediment goes back to the doctor and says "I don't stutter anymore but my wife left me because I cant satisfy her anymore. I want you to put my giant penis back on". The doctor said "F-F-F*ck y-y-you!".

JacopeX, Impediment, and Scythe had to spend the night at a hotel and share a double bed.

In the morning, Impediment said "I had this great dream last night, that a girl gave me a handjob"

Scythe replied "That's weird so did I"

Finally, JacopeX said "Lucky for you guys...I only dream't I was skiing"

crylaugh

Originally posted by Toku King
JacopeX, Impediment, and Scythe had to spend the night at a hotel and share a double bed.

In the morning, Impediment said "I had this great dream last night, that a girl gave me a handjob"

Scythe replied "That's weird so did I"

Finally, JacopeX said "Lucky for you guys...I only dream't I was skiing"
HAERMM WUT

Originally posted by Toku King
JacopeX, Impediment, and Scythe had to spend the night at a hotel and share a double bed.

In the morning, Impediment said "I had this great dream last night, that a girl gave me a handjob"

Scythe replied "That's weird so did I"

Finally, JacopeX said "Lucky for you guys...I only dream't I was skiing"

HAH!

Q.) How many chicks does RJ pick up at a bar?

A.) None they're all too old.

OH SHI-

Q.) What kind of chicks does Barker like?

A.) The kind that plays with her balls...her volley balls. crackers

Originally posted by Kram3r
Q.) How many chicks does RJ pick up at a bar?

A.) None they're all too old.

OH SHI- haermm That was so lame I actually chuckled a bit.

Q: What kind of girls does Kram3r sleep with?

A: Ones that have "Inflate to 30 pounds" printed on their forehead.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
haermm That was so lame I actually chuckled a bit.

Yeah, the truth is sometimes lame.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Q: What kind of girls does Kram3r sleep with?

A: Ones that have "Inflate to 30 pounds" printed on their forehead.

Wow, of all the jokes you could have made, you chose this? Sad.

Why does RJ and Kram3r wear glow in the dark condems?

Cause RJ keeps bitching about wanting to play star wars

Originally posted by Kram3r
Yeah, the truth is sometimes lame.



Wow, of all the jokes you could have made, you chose this? Sad.

Uh oh, I guess I should try harder to look for someone to laugh at to feel better abot myself then haermm

No wait, that's lame......

Originally posted by Scarlet Fox
Why does RJ and Kram3r wear glow in the dark condems?

Cause RJ keeps bitching about wanting to play star wars

crackers

starwars

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Uh oh, I guess I should try harder to look for someone to laugh at to feel better abot myself then haermm

No wait, that's lame......

Laugh about me all you want for all I care. Just, with all the jokes you could have made, even about my virginity, even my mom could have came up with something better.

Originally posted by Scarlet Fox
Why does RJ and Kram3r wear glow in the dark condems?

Cause RJ keeps bitching about wanting to play star wars haermm

Lqki8_Z51Ig&feature=related

Originally posted by Kram3r
Laugh about me all you want for all I care. Just, with all the jokes you could have made, even about my virginity, even my mom could have came up with something better. Speaking of your mom.....

You dish it out, I take it.

I dish it out, you take it.

See?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Speaking of your mom.....

You dish it out, I take it.

I dish it out, you take it.

See?

You obviously didn't get what I'm saying. Joke about me all you want. All I'm saying is, is that the joke was awful. Could have been applied to anyone.

Originally posted by Impediment
Impediment goes to the doctor and says "I c-c-can't s-s-stop s-s-stuttering". The doctor checks him over and says "The problem is your penis is so big that it's pulling down on your vocal cords and causing you to stutter. The way to fix it is to cut half of it off". Impediment says "W-w-whatever i-i-it t-t-takes".

Six weeks later, Impediment goes back to the doctor and says "I don't stutter anymore but my wife left me because I cant satisfy her anymore. I want you to put my giant penis back on". The doctor said "F-F-F*ck y-y-you!". Originally posted by Toku King
JacopeX, Impediment, and Scythe had to spend the night at a hotel and share a double bed.

In the morning, Impediment said "I had this great dream last night, that a girl gave me a handjob"

Scythe replied "That's weird so did I"

Finally, JacopeX said "Lucky for you guys...I only dream't I was skiing"

Hahaha!

Originally posted by Kram3r
You obviously didn't get what I'm saying. Joke about me all you want. All I'm saying is, is that the joke was awful. Could have been applied to anyone. Don't like the taste of your own medicine, do you?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Don't like the taste of your own medicine, do you?

No, see, this is where you fail. Mine made light of you dating girls younger enough to be your daughter. It directly targeted you, it had relevance. Yours is a general remark that is typical enough of jocks who spew out such remarks to nerds as they cross the halls.

Originally posted by Kram3r
No, see, this is where you fail. Mine made light of you dating girls younger enough to be your daughter. It directly targeted you, it had relevance. Yours is a general remark that is typical enough of jocks who spew out such remarks to nerds as they cross the halls.

haermm Riiiiiiiiight. The whole point and laugh at others attack, which you excel at, is high school bullshit. Take a look in the mirror, Bub, time for some self reflection.

So I'd do better to aim a joke directly at you?

K


The closest you have ever come to sex is the discovery channel.


Your turn.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
haermm Riiiiiiiiight. The whole point and laugh at others attack, which you excel at, is high school bullshit. Take a look in the mirror, Bub, time for some self reflection.

So I'd do better to aim a joke directly at you?

K


The closest you have ever come to sex is the discovery channel.


Your turn.

The closest relationship you've had is 3,000 miles away.

Originally posted by Kram3r
The closest you've been to a relationship is 3,000 miles away. Wrong!!! haermm


Try again.

don't **** with RJ, kram3r, he can kill batman

Play nice guys.

WTF am I doing? I ain't got no authority anymore!






KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM NOW!!!!!!! rip his head off and drink his blood and shit all over his face!!!!!!!

Originally posted by Mairuzu
don't **** with RJ, kram3r, he can kill batman Gimmee an M16 and you are correct.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Wrong!!! haermm


Try again.

So you're not going to Trinidad to showcase yourself to the weary parents (who are likely closer to her age than you) of your so-called girlfriend?

Originally posted by Kram3r
So you're not going to Trinidad to showcase yourself to the weary parents (who are likely closer to her age than you) of your so-called girlfriend?

So called girlfriend? crylaugh And the age card. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaame. Big time lame. Lame lame lame.

Tell you what, GET a girlfriend and THEN you can talk smack to me.


You implied that the closest I had EVER been to a relationship is 3000 miles away, not true, you FAIL.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
So called girlfriend? crylaugh And the age card. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaame. Big time lame. Lame lame lame.

Tell you what, GET a girlfriend and THEN you can talk smack to me.


You implied that the closest I had EVER been to a relationship is 3000 miles away, not true, you FAIL.

Nice to see you still haven't rebutted with an insult.

Originally posted by Kram3r
Nice to see you still haven't rebutted with an insult. I have, in fact, like twice.

What do you call Kram3r on a waterbed? A cherry float.

Thats three times.

Remember when you guys were all "OMG, Kram3r, I feel so bad for you and your girlfriend in a coma."

That was a good joke.

Originally posted by Ax3l
Remember when you guys were all "OMG, Kram3r, I feel so bad for you and your girlfriend."

That was a good joke. Dunno about that, but your sig is enthralling.....

Arguments always keep KMC interesting

Originally posted by Ax3l
Remember when you guys were all "OMG, Kram3r, I feel so bad for you and your girlfriend in a coma."

That was a good joke.

haermm

what was the original name for the awesome smilie?





piggle

I win teh threadz hands down.

It's a light-saber toothed tiger.

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gizmodo/2009/03/lighsabertiger.jpg

Originally posted by Impediment
Impediment goes to the doctor and says "I c-c-can't s-s-stop s-s-stuttering". The doctor checks him over and says "The problem is your penis is so big that it's pulling down on your vocal cords and causing you to stutter. The way to fix it is to cut half of it off". Impediment says "W-w-whatever i-i-it t-t-takes".

Six weeks later, Impediment goes back to the doctor and says "I don't stutter anymore but my wife left me because I cant satisfy her anymore. I want you to put my giant penis back on". The doctor said "F-F-F*ck y-y-you!".

this one pwms all

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Don't like the taste of your own medicine, do you?

Considering his joke, it'd be bubblegum flavored, and that stuff's delicious.

What's plump, looks like bewbz, and has the innate ability to talk without thinking?



your ass

So I was trying get this sixteen year old girl to have sex with me. Well she had sex with me, but she didn't want to give me head, so I bought some banana and cherry flavored condoms. Dumb ***** was allergic to latex and her tongue swelled and my naturally large black penis got caught between her tongue and teeth. I tried to pull my cock out and after 5 minutes, I finally dragged it out. Her teethmarks were all over it. She had blood stains on her teeth. I turned her over and put my cock up her ass and she started to cry. I was about to kill her. Then her 12 year old sister came in the room and she said she'd Gitrdone. Best 10 hours of sex I've ever had. You've never had sex until you've heard a hymen crack, or maybe that was one of her still developing ribs...

Good times......

Scythe tried puppy love once. Unfortunately, their @$$holes are too small.

Rogue Jedi said to his girlfriend "When I'm gone, you'll never find another man like me!"
His girlfriend replies "What makes you think I'd want another man like you?"

Kram3r is like fine wine: Gets better with age. That's why I locked him in the wine cellar.

I wonder what fish smelled like before Blaxican went swimming.

As an airplane is about to crash, Selphie jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Originally posted by Toku King
Scythe tried puppy love once. Unfortunately, their @$$holes are too small.

Rogue Jedi said to his girlfriend "When I'm gone, you'll never find another man like me!"
His girlfriend replies "What makes you think I'd want another man like you?"

Kram3r is like fine wine: Gets better with age. That's why I locked him in the wine cellar.

I wonder what fish smelled like before Blaxican went swimming.

As an airplane is about to crash, Selphie jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

lol @ first and last one. But seriously, women should know their place.

Originally posted by Grinning Goku
lol @ first and last one. But seriously, women should know their place.

I'll remember that...

Originally posted by Selphie
I'll remember that...


Oh shi-

Originally posted by Toku King
Scythe tried puppy love once. Unfortunately, their @$$holes are too small.

FML!!!

Originally posted by Toku King
Scythe tried puppy love once. Unfortunately, their @$$holes are too small.

Rogue Jedi said to his girlfriend "When I'm gone, you'll never find another man like me!"
His girlfriend replies "What makes you think I'd want another man like you?"

Kram3r is like fine wine: Gets better with age. That's why I locked him in the wine cellar.

I wonder what fish smelled like before Blaxican went swimming.

As an airplane is about to crash, Selphie jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!". haermm

Not one joke made me laugh.

Sorry.