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Indiana Jones first appeared in the 1981 movie Raiders of the Lost Ark and went on to become an enduring hero of movies, TV and video games. As played by Harrison Ford, Jones was an intrepid, fist-fighting archaeologist who wore a fedora and carried a bullwhip while racing the Nazis to unearth the lost Ark of the Covenant. The movie was the brainchild of George Lucas (who first dreamed up the character) and Steven Spielberg (who directed), and co-starred Karen Allen as Jones's old flame Marion Ravenwood. Ford starred in two sequels: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989, with Sean Connery as Indiana's dad). An episodic television series

What the .... is the point of this thread? What else is new?

Its the essay that GL and SS should have read before making TAOS.

Because there nothing in it about aliens, gophers or shit sons.

A few simple steps to what could have been a better world.

Never seen someone turn a complete nonsensical thread into something that makes sense. It sure is a first.

LOLZ

A new kind of damage control, maybe.

Maybe its kharmic/my pennance for my erratic lateral posting.

I think so too..

*plays "Twilight zone theme" riff*

MOre like an Outer Limits...

I havent worked that out yet.

*replays twilight zone theme again in lieu of learning the outer limits theme*

Nah, TZ theme is better.

Doodooo-doooo-doooooooo-dooooodooooooooo-doooodooooooooo....
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice. *presses recording button*

Not easy to convey its full awesomeness in jazz scat form.

I will though.

Go on then.

The Cd's downloadable next week.

Awesome!

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Its the essay that GL and SS should have read before making TAOS.
.

TAOS ??

should'nt it be KOTCS.



And still going on about aliens

but yet its okay to accept the stories from the other films.....

Mystery is one thing, balatantly explaining the origins of civlisation by the arrival of a flying saucers taht actually takes off at the end, that's the big problem. It's not about whethe it's real, it's about some kind of believability in the Indy universe. TAOS had quite little of that.

Originally posted by Kazenji
TAOS ??

should'nt it be KOTCS.



And still going on about aliens

but yet its okay to accept the stories from the other films.....

TOAS

The
Aliens
Of
Shit

As in "Indiana Jones and the aliens of shit."

I know what ya mean. With my personal views on religion, on paper, the nature of the McGuffin in this one, should by all logic be the favorite.

But no.

Raiders, still rules TOAS by a million, million miles, and still feels the more realistic movie, almost inexplicably.

I agree with Queeq's assessment.

I personally cannot believe that TAOS was made so un-Indylike by all these experienced people.

"Experienced at getting old, fat rich and lazy, maybe...." is the first phrase that popped into my head reading that.

Either that or they are all 'yes men' now.

I can't get my head around it. Hmm... nice trick for the baddies in Indy 5.

With so many possiblities you and I are summing up here, it's a miracle Indy4 was such a disappointment.

Indeed.

It makes you think it was deliberate and malicious.

Quite. Evil Koepp, Evil Lucas and Evil Spielberg.

Why didn't Ford object?

Because his mouth was full of Spielberg's contractual semen...?

Hmm... don't remember that scene from South Park.

It'll be on the DVD extras, no doubt.

The X-rated deleted scenes.

It'll be interactive content with the "How many hillybillies will fit into their victim?" quiz game.

After the debacle that was meant to be Indy IV, those poison arrows flying at him in Raiders ("Chuck! Star the engine!" etc) would look reeeeeeeallllllllllllll good now as an alternative to being "Deliveranced" to death.

Hehehehe...

And it's Jock, not Chuck.

Ha. So it it is.

Indeed. That mistake will mean you'll have to watch KOTCS again for punishment.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Id accept having to watch Raiders five more times though.
(Im way overdue anyhow)
You get KOTCS'd by the ending now, anyhow....

You have to watch it and then we'll test you on KOTCS knowledge.
Watching Raiders is more a reward.

*Shoots self*

Good. Guess we can close this forum now. Not much fun on me own.

*rots*

I like your worms.

They must be skinny motherf**kers, as there isnt too much to go around, with me these days.

Get a job.

"Get paid more", you mean....

A job usually pays more than welfare.

Well thats true. A lot of people just plain out of work right now. Thats for sure.
Luckily my situation is a bit different from that.

BTW Is the it not totally f***ed where you come from too...?
Or is your country around four years behind the rest of the world in conventional time...? 'Cause we have a heavy recession here.

Yeah, peeps losing their jobs. Can't say I'm having much trouble. But then I'm freelance... I don't have a job, I just go out hunting for work.

Ah. I see.

Well I hope that what you do is less reliant on other people than mine.

Due to a vocalist pissing off, we he had to cancel 2 gigs, and another two are threatened, if we dont find a replacement in time.

Singers: C***s, all of them.

Hehehe... you better marry one so you can force her to sing.

And of course I'm reliant on other people. But so far I've got a nice network. I have enough work I think to last me until my hols in July. After that... who knows. In fact, it's quite busy now.

LOL Came a bit too close to that last time, thank you.
I wouldnt be forcing any prospective wife to do anything, human rights and all... But I did on occasion wish she came with a mute button.
A chick bass player would prolly be a better plan.

Ahh cool. Well my network is made of CGI turd, right now, it would seem.

What does 'human rights' mean?

LOL A strong/slightly off center word perhaps..

Equality? Treat others as you would have others treat you etc.
I dont see that the "obey" bit it as neccessary in an adult/equal relationship based on .
So marrying someone to force them to do something doesn't really compute for me.

Maybe you meant something else though..

Even I read my post and thought "lol wtf?"...

Trouble is also, that Female singers are very bossy individuals, so conflict ensues, living together as I dont put up with too much of that.

They're bossy because tehy're insecure. Just like actresses and female presenters (even males most of the time). I find that a few hugs a day can work miracles.

Well yeah, but that doesnt cross all rivers.

Youre right about the insecurity thing, Hitler may have been insecure about the Jews, but I wouldnt ever condone his actions, for example.

Oh no... I agree. The trick is knowing about the insecurity and PREVENt shit from happening.

Even when you know, and you do, some things really are insurmountable.

In your case you at least have a guitar to bash their head in.

Queeq. It like your style.
But I fear that attempting to bash a singer's thick skull would result in the certain destruction of your axe though.

A Les Paul is a heavy assed instrument.

But wrap it around the uberdense head of a singer, and it'll be destroyed. If their skull doesnt dent it horribly, the the uber black hole like mass of their ego, will doubtlessly reduce it to component atoms.

Just make it look like an accident. And blame her hormones for walking in the way of your rather flamboyant style while playing your solo.

"Sorry officer, she just hormoned at me while I was in the zone"

Make sure the officer is male and married and you'll get away with it.

Tip of the day.

Next Week: How to murder the one you love and get away with it by explaining to a sexist jury by explaining that the murdered party didn't know how to reverse out of a shopping mall car park when the football was about to start on TV at home..

Sounds valid. here's my vote: NOT GUILTY.

No phantom zone for you, dude.

Man Phil Spector could have used this defense, if only he was quick enough on his feet, mentally.

He wasn't thinking.

He may have still been mentally destroyed after being forced to watch KOTCS as a part of a brutal police interrogation.

Which would have been fair enough, of course.

So that;s how things are now: KOTCS as the explanation of all our troubles. I bet it caused the financial crisis as well... and swine flu.

Were parts filmed in new mexico...?

I'm sure they were now.

There ya go.

Some interdimensional rift WAS opened by the saucer at the end, after all......

It may have been the opening of the Pandora's box.
They call it pig flu, but in reality its space flu.

TAOF?

TAOS+F.

TAOSF... The Aliens of Space Flu?

The aliens of shit and flu.

That would imply the aliens are Mexican. Suddenly TAOS has taken this very politically incorrect turn. I'm sure in time it will turn out to be a revolutionary masterpiece.

Of social observance and satire.

Exactly.

It is only a matter of time before US declares war on Mexico.

First with the Economic problems being blamed on the Mexico, then this scary virus talk....

Its like Southpark's "Blame Canada" all over again.

They're quite good at that. War mongers.

"Stupid is as stupid does", according to one of their greatest leaders.

Welll at least they got rid of that last extremely dangerous idiot.

Which one is that?

Oh yes. I see what you mean.

Well the one who didnt shoot that guy out on that fun day out.

Ah that one... the one without a gun.

Yes, the one with flight-medical-takingaphobia.

Sounds painful.

Not when you were as high on cocaine as the unnamed party was reported to be back then.

Cocaine solves all of our problems.

Cause on coke nothing is a problem except the lack of more coke.

(And the eventual small dick, the destroyed septum, and of course the comedown.)

Thank f**k I never made a habit of doing that, man. You feel like a god. No WONDER Bush was under the impression that God was talking to him, telling him to start wars lols

George W Bush was maybe the worst advert for Coke that there could ever be.....
Shit he must've set Columbia's image back 300 years...!

Bloody right it was called the whitehouse.

Maybe he was stepping up to the frontline of quality-control-testing all the CIA imported shit himself, to make sure it was safe for the nation's addicts...!!!! And how considerate would that have been...? He missed a great opportunity for that heroism to be known, if so!

I like it how with most of these indiana jones threads how they've all gone from the topic to just a chit chat between Sadako and queeq.

And now Kazenji....

Yes, its quite the indictment that no one gives a f**k about the movie enough to come in and comment more.

Indeed. And after a while we agree on all counts, so we chit chat, hoping to draw some attention and start a political protest movement agains movie moguls that rape the legacy of some great culture.

Exactamundo.

Join us, brother Kazenji.

Join us.

Join us and together we will rule the movie galaxy...

It is the onlllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyy wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.......

*evil cackle*

*Shoots finger lightning at Bay*

If you will not join us, you will die.

We would like to stipulate that that may actually one day be revealed as an inevitability, but if you would like to have your submitted text comments immortalised forever in these here pages of cinema appraisal, then you will be recognised as a truely discerning viewer.

A MAN!

A MAN who lived on earth, did what he could and took no shit.

A MAN who hunted and provided his family with quality movies and no shit..

A MAN THEY WOULD JUDGE AS A WINNER!!!!!!!!!!

RAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....!!!!!!!!!

*Kills some and eats meat and dances round a fire, bathing himself in beer*

No, I'm sure it's NOT Drum you were smoking.

Oh there was drum, alright........

sometimes drum+, and sometimes not.

THis time there was +.. herhehe

Right now there is lolz

Figures.

But alas, the more I smoke, the less there is left.

Sh1T happens

Quite.

Rather

Affirmative

Ditto

Yippeekayay motherf**ker!

(As a great man once said.)

Hail John.

*Hails the almighty, the bringer of death, McClane*

There can be only one.

But all things being equal he would rather be in Philidelphia.

Or in Zeist. (which is a town in Holland btw)

Sounds like a sneeze noise.

Well, snot looked very smart on Highlander II.

Oh was that there...?

There should have been.

Ahhh. Well good for the town. The film was shit.

Sean Connery from Zeist... that's such a provincial town.

So he'd pronounce it "zhhshiiiiiiiiiiissssht."

SHSSSHHSHSHSSHSHSHAAAAAAAAIIISSSSSSSSSHSHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHTTTTTTTT

Ah yes. A stronger accent on yours.

I called him up and asked him to say it. I recorded it and had several linguists work on it for months to get a proper fonetic spelling.

It tells. You even said Phonetic "fonetically"....

That fon-e-tik pahrrt ov yurr braynnn haz-zunt switcht off yeht.

That's the foreigner in me speaking... I learned a new word today: phonetic.

Yeah but don't forget Fonetic, which means "The action of peeling the skin from your dead victim, and using it like a cheese sprinkling."

The Tim Burton version then.

Yeah pretty much lolz

Quick! Get Danny Elfman on the phone..!

I'd love to.

That would be cool.. Id like to pick his brains about his influences, beyond circus music...Stravinsky maybe...?

Herrmann.

Munster?

That wouldn't actually surprise me...... lol

Hehehe...

I was talking Bernard Herrmann.

Cool.

So you know him.

Only by his Taxi Driver works.

He did a lot of Hitchcock movies...

Back when I was watching those, I wasn't really paying attention to the credits, greatly, I'll admit.

Taxi Driver however has been a repeated watcher over the years for me.