Having a bad day?

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GCG
Things Got Ya Down? Well Then, Consider These . .

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 AM Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.


Still Having a Bad Day????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day????

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Are Ya OK Now? - No?

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet did not pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!

There now, Feeling Better?

FoxMeister
that's brilliant

Kelly_Bean
Yes..having a bad day and it's only 7:34AM, lol.

Sanctuary
That didn't help my bad day. mad

GCG
Originally posted by Sanctuary
That didn't help my bad day. mad

kiss you

WhoopeeDee
When I have a bad day....I go home and watch porn. That makes it all worth it.

GCG
Originally posted by WhoopeeDee
When I have a bad day....I go home and watch porn. That makes it all worth it.

Things You Learn From Watching Porn:

Women wear high heels to bed.

Men are never impotent.

When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he ****s her.

Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.

Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

Women always orgasm when men do.

A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

All women are noisy ****s.

People in the 70's couldn't **** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

Those **** are real.

A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.

If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

Double penetration makes women smile.

Asian men don't exist.

If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

There's a plot.

When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

Nurses suck patients cocks.

Men always pull out.

When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before ****ing both of you.

Women never have headaches.

When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'.

Assholes are clean.

A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.

Men don't have to beg.

When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

pigtails = handlebars.

Alpha Centauri
I'm having a fantastic time.

I'm having the best time since...sliced bread.

-AC

The Red
Originally posted by GCG
Things Got Ya Down? Well Then, Consider These . .

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 AM Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.


Still Having a Bad Day????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day????

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Are Ya OK Now? - No?

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet did not pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!

There now, Feeling Better? This really made my shitty day better. I couldn't help lol at the first one.

punkkaveman
Originally posted by GCG
Things You Learn From Watching Porn:

Women wear high heels to bed.

Men are never impotent.

When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he ****s her.

Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with spunk.

Women enjoy having sex with ugly middle-aged men.

Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.

Women always orgasm when men do.

A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

All women are noisy ****s.

People in the 70's couldn't **** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

Those **** are real.

A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

Men always groan 'OH YEAH' when they cum.

If there is two of them they 'high five' each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

Double penetration makes women smile.

Asian men don't exist.

If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

There's a plot.

When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the ass.

Nurses suck patients cocks.

Men always pull out.

When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before ****ing both of you.

Women never have headaches.

When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to 'suck it'.

Assholes are clean.

A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's pants and find a cock there.

Men don't have to beg.

When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

pigtails = handlebars.

LOL!! rolling on floor laughing That is pretty much true.

Quincy
haha good stuff

JacopeX
This thread has changed my life.

Dropped three belt sizes.

Slay
Originally posted by JacopeX
This thread has changed my life.

Dropped three belt sizes.
Ah, I remember when people used to bump your threads with comments like that. Got you well pissed.

Left you with a little confidence issue as well, I see.

Mairuzu
One issue at a time jacope.

JacopeX
Originally posted by Slay
Ah, I remember when people used to bump your threads with comments like that. Got you well pissed.

Left you with a little confidence issue as well, I see. I don't recall.

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