James Kirk vs. Will Riker...who'd win?

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CadoAngelus
Fisty cuffs...all out in Ten Forward. Who'd win? 'Cause lets be honest, they are the only two fighters in star trek (okay, maybe i missed out Ben Sisko)...

Kinneary
Probably Kirk. Because, hell, he's Kirk.

Sadako of Girth
Riker on size/puncher's chance maybe 3 times out of ten 10, but Kirk on experience whipping the arses off of all kinds of species across the galaxy paired with the new Kirk's apparent lust for violence. (YAY!)

~JP~
What is this a trick question? KIRK FTW.

Robtard
Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Riker on size/puncher's chance maybe 3 times out of ten 10, but Kirk on experience whipping the arses off of all kinds of species across the galaxy paired with the new Kirk's apparent lust for violence. (YAY!)

Pretty much, Riker's taken down a few Klingons and whatnots, but Kirk has literally kicked ass even into his 'I'm old, fat and wearing a toupe' years. This is something fat Riker hasn't.

dadudemon
I voted Riker simply because.


Kirk can do a flying butt stomp. EPIC! I don't think ANY star trek character has EVER done a flying butt stomp.

BruceSkywalker
Will is a good fighter, but Kirk beats him easily

Robtard
Originally posted by dadudemon
I voted Riker simply because.


Kirk can do a flying butt stomp. EPIC! I don't think ANY star trek character has EVER done a flying butt stomp.

He did that against an Andorion, after said Andorion was stupid enough to stab Kirk in the kidney.

Sadako of Girth
Silly Andorians.

Silly, silly Andorians... Will they never learn...?

Badabing
Kirk in a stomp.

http://www.motifake.com/motivational_posters/bba3a673e8.jpg

CadoAngelus
Originally posted by Badabing
Kirk in a stomp.

http://www.motifake.com/motivational_posters/bba3a673e8.jpg

haha, sounds about right

roughrider
Originally posted by Kinneary
Probably Kirk. Because, hell, he's Kirk.

Yep.
Kirk is resourceful in always finding a way - on-win scenarios aren't in his vocabulary - but he could be matched by Picard in many ways.

Raoul
Kirk, but season 1 riker would give him a fight, imo...

Badabing
Originally posted by Raoul
Kirk, but season 1 riker would give him a fight, imo... Pfft, beardless Riker would get pimp slapped by Kirk! uhuh

Tattoos N Scars
Kirk could handle Worf and Data at the same time

Doctor-Alvis
Originally posted by dadudemon
I voted Riker simply because.


Kirk can do a flying butt stomp. EPIC! I don't think ANY star trek character has EVER done a flying butt stomp.
Archer drop kicked a dude through a time portal. For me, that made up for any downsides in the series.

Mindship
Kirk is who Riker fantasizes he is when kicking butt or banging it.

Doctor-Alvis
Originally posted by Doctor-Alvis
Archer drop kicked a dude through a time portal. For me, that made up for any downsides in the series.
Man, that portal thing really stuck with me.

Joe Buck
Pah! Kirk would deliever his trademark drop kick and put him away.

Sadako of Girth
Good Job its not "Hide and Q" Riker... Kirk might lose then...

CadoAngelus
Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Good Job its not "Hide and Q" Riker... Kirk might lose then...

is that the EP where Riker gets an opportunity to become a Q?

Sadako of Girth
Indeed. He demonstrates a few abilities like destroying/vanishing weird pig faced French solider looking dudes with beards that Q has pulled out of his ass.
He threw the bridge crew back onto the bridge of the Enterprise.

In fact his only flaw was in bringing Wesley Crusher back to life after he was bayonetted through the back/heart by a heroic pig solidier dude thing..

That just was inconsiderate of Riker to all of ST fandom.

Robtard
Had Kirk been picked to don the mantle of a Q, I think the first use of his god-powers would have been to instantly and simultaneously have sex and bring to orgasm every single female of every single species in the universe, the mirror-mirror universe, liquid space and all dimensions in between. Thereby creating another Big Bang and creating the Kirkverse, a universe where Kirk is 'The One Above All Others.'

Which is likely why the Q didn't offer it to him, he would have out-played them. Check and mate.

Sadako of Girth
Holy shit. 100% true in all likelihood.

I definitely think that something like that must have occured at some point:


An awful lot of species in ST from all over the galaxy that were humanoid , that I wasn't sure were originally humanoid.
And I think that thats a possible explanation of why Klingons looked human in TOS Kirk's time too.

Kirk + Time Travelling a lot + Female aliens = Kirk as DNA blueprint all over galaxy.


We can only conclude that Kirk just didnt fancy the gaseous or energy beings, Species 8472 or that big pregnant Space slug that Picard accidentally killed that time.... which is fair dos.

Robtard
They actually retconed in the fourth season of Star Trek:Enterprise why the Klingons in the Original Series looked human.

Episodes: Borderland, Cold Station 12 and The Augments set the premise (3 of the better episodes too)

Episodes: Affliction and Divergence explain the Human-Klingon condition of the 23rd century.

I have the top three, if you're interested. Though you could probably get all five online.

Sadako of Girth
Nice one I'd hear the explanation, just hadn't stuck with Enterprise long enough to have seen it back in the day... I'll check em out on YT. Cheers.

Robtard
****ing youtube has everything.

CadoAngelus
So the Klingon-Augment Plague was actually Kirk getting his polygamous thing on around the multi-verse.

Interesting concept. I think it's sound.

Robtard
Thy cup runneth over (with Kirk's seed).

Sadako of Girth
No wonder there was angry Klingon captain after angry Klingon captain trying to kick Kirk's ass.


Fighting them may be how he first discovered how mating rituals were initiated...
I bet the classic Klingon chat-up line "Eat my Qagh, you dirty spaceb!tch!" was accidentally used too...!!

Sadako of Girth
Originally posted by Robtard
Thy cup runneth over (with Kirk's seed).

Space seed? stick out tongue

Robtard
Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Space seed? stick out tongue

Khan-nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

Sadako of Girth
There likely a subtley hidden dimension to that too:

Not only was Khan's hate fulled by the marooning and the deaths of his crew and wife, but that wife was attractive, short miniskirted, and served on Jim Kirk's ship meaning with upmost certainty that Kirk had boldly gone where no man gone before, around that time.

And the subsequent 15 years at Ceti-Alpha was probably plenty of time for that to come out in.....that definitely would have riled Khan further.

Robtard
Khan: So, you'd you date before you met me?

Maria: Oh, you know, just some guys.

Khan: Guys? Guys from the ship?

Maria: Yeah, some guys from the ship.

Khan: Who?

Maria: Oh, a few Ensigns and one or two others, you know how it goes. I had a crush on Sulu for a stint, but he never gave me a second look.

Khan: Other two who, do I know them?

Maria: Chekov, but that was only for a week. He kept crying after sex.

Khan: That weak and filthy Cossack, he doesn't deserve to smell my shits. The other?

Maria: *mumbles* James.

Khan: Kirk!?

Maria: *nods*

Khan: FROM HELLS HEART I STAB AT THE, KIRK!

Sadako of Girth
laughing out loud

I bet that was when he shoved Maria in the brain slug tank in rage....

...and that would explain how he blamed Kirk for her death!

It all fits!!

CadoAngelus
Originally posted by Robtard
Khan: FROM HELLS HEART I STAB AT THE, KIRK!
It wouldn't surprise me if Kirk used his Q powers to go back in time, kill Herman Melville and write Moby Dick himself just so Khan would utter his written words...

Sadako of Girth
Anyone disagreeing with the possibility of that, would have to have Spock explain to them the concept of the Human Ego....































.....Particularly a Shatner sized Ego.

-Pr-
Originally posted by Robtard
Khan: So, you'd you date before you met me?

Maria: Oh, you know, just some guys.

Khan: Guys? Guys from the ship?

Maria: Yeah, some guys from the ship.

Khan: Who?

Maria: Oh, a few Ensigns and one or two others, you know how it goes. I had a crush on Sulu for a stint, but he never gave me a second look.

Khan: Other two who, do I know them?

Maria: Chekov, but that was only for a week. He kept crying after sex.

Khan: That weak and filthy Cossack, he doesn't deserve to smell my shits. The other?

Maria: *mumbles* James.

Khan: Kirk!?

Maria: *nods*

Khan: FROM HELLS HEART I STAB AT THE, KIRK!

laughing

k1RK, [email protected]$ UP T() TH3 SKY L1K3 W()()()()()

StephenJondrew
Without a doubt Kirk would one. Riker has had is fair share of fist-fights, but he's a sissy compared to Kirk! big grin

Mindship
Originally posted by CadoAngelus
It wouldn't surprise me if Kirk used his Q powers to go back in time, kill Herman Melville and write Moby Dick himself just so Khan would utter his written words... Kirk Prime. thumb up

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