Baseball Wars

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FE Expert

I believe that any sentient race could provide Jedi, as long as they have enough midi-chlorians to be Force-sensitive. I know this idea is crazy but I wanted to express this crazy idea.


Long before the Clone Wars, the Jedi Order and the Sith Lords duked it out on the battlefield with massive armies of Force-users. But funding of either side was only crudely described before. At least, for the Sith Lords anyway. History has shown us that the Galactic Republic directly funded the Jedi Order at the time of the Sith Wars. What about the Sith Lords?

And baseball. At the height of the Sith Wars, baseball was almost synonymous with illegal sporting, being legalized only 100 years before the Battle of Yavin. The Galactic Baseball Cartel was once thought to be controlled by the Hutt Clan, a cadre of Jedi spies have discovered that the Galactic Baseball Cartel was in fact controlled by the Sith Lords. Here is the story as to how the Baseball Cartel (momentarily!) passed under the hands of the Jedi Order.

The greatest baseball players of that era were Neimoidian or Geonosian. Neimoidians are best known as batters while Geonosians are better defensive players, especially in the field (left, center or right didn't matter). However, humans, along with other races, like the Gungans, have recently become major-league players, the latter being recruited by the Order due to a staff shortage.

FE Expert
Chapter 1:

Jedi Council Chamber, Coruscant. The Jedi High Council was in session and the matter at hand was how to deal with the Galactic Baseball Cartel. Several Councillors dismissed the intelligence report from their own spies as a hoax designed to lure the Jedi into a deadly trap that would lead to the Order's destruction should it be sprung successfully. However, that was not the case of the majority in the Jedi Council, convinced by their servants to the First Knowledge Council, having received a Senate report concerning baseball in the galaxy. They claim the volume of betting transactions on baseball games/tournaments amount to several hundreds of trillions of credits monthly. According to that intelligence report, some of that cash goes in the coffers of the Sith Lords.

"Master North, we in the Jedi Council know that your entire life in the Jedi Order has been dedicated to anti-baseball operations. For this reason, we think you're the one best suited for the mission we have in store for you." Councillor Grommell told Bank.

To the general public, he was "TD" Bank North. He gained these initials during his Jedi Trials because of his skill with thermal detonators rather than with lightsabers. If the Order - or anyone else - could supply him with a good quantity of quality thermal detonators, he'd be the happiest Gungan in active service to the Order. However, he gave up any idea to inherit command of the First Bank of Otoh Gunga, the then largest bank on Naboo, to become a Jedi, when he was visited by the Jedi assigned to Naboo.

Councillor Krant followed with, "Your mission, if you accept it, is to either destroy the Galactic Baseball Cartel or prepare an eventual takeover of the Cartel by the Jedi Order. We have a list of planets on which baseball games are hosted.

- Ando Prime
- Baroonda
- Cato Neimoidia
- Dathomir
- Fondor II
- Geonosis
- Karideph
- Mon Gazza
- Ord Ibanna
- Praesitlyn
- Ralltiir
- Raxus Prime
- Tatooine
- Utapau

However, most of these planets are of little strategical value, both baseball-wise and in our fight against the Sith, so we could easily leave these planets to the rabble of the Order (or Padawans ongoing their Trials.) For you, Master, only the galactic baseball hubs are acceptable. Therefore, you have to choose between Cato Neimoidia or Geonosis."

Councillor Stihl added, "If you succeed, you'll be promoted to the rank of Grenadier-General... if you fail, the only thing we can guarantee is that your body will be buried on your home planet"

Bank declared, "Mesa be good pitcher, mesa can play for Neimoidians. But mesa want good boomba! Yousa can count on mesa! Mesa play ball on Cato Neimoidia!"

Councillor Stihl then pitches in to Banknorth's comments, "I take it you will be assigned to Cato Neimoidia; I'll assign another team to Geonosis."

Banknorth's ship, the Plywood III, was already loaded with Banknorth's troops, about 500 men, and all the consumables they need to succeed in their mission against the Cartel's forces. Thermal detonators, food, blaster rifles, lightsabers, even a squad of 155-mm caliber mortars, led by one of his Padawans. But Banknorth himself was there on a covert ops mission. The Plywood III in itself resembled the Clone Wars-era Recusants because its design was the ancestor of the Recusants', except that they were made to carry living people along with their cargo rather than droid troops. And it was adopted by the Jedi Order as their primary troop transport because of its inexpensive design.

Interesting, yet, what is your fixation with Gunguns

I eat kittens
basebal?... hm, well i guess it could be considered illegal because people are gambling on it. good storyline though.

FE Expert
Chapter 2: Comlink Check

And now, Master North is off on his mission to take out the Galactic Baseball Cartel. He knows that, en route to Cato Neimoidia, the travel time will be such that he will have ample time to give some batting practice to his Padawan and his teammates. The Gungan baseball master must travel under the guise of transporting supplies to build another ballpark on Cato Neimoidia, so he has the cargo hold filled with construction supplies, duracrete, transparisteel, durasteel, as well as some furniture that could furnish the luxury boxes of the ballpark. On the Plywood III's bridge, a holocomm opened, with a Jedi Councillor at the other end.

"Master Krant, what do yousa ask of mesa?" asked Master North.

"Master North, the Senate has just approved the creation of a new specialized task force intended to take down the Galactic Baseball Cartel and you are the new commanding officer of the Anti-Baseball Command. A high position among the Anti-Baseball Command is not yours to get but your Padawan to get" proposed Councillor Krant.

"Only Jessica here is undergoing hersa Trials, Master" stated the newly-appointed General North, "so if she was successful, she could take the command of a task force in the Anti-Baseball Command"

"If you are successful in your mission, General North, the most meritorious of your Padawans will once he/she has passed the Trials. Actually, we'd rather not want you to fail, General" warned Councillor Krant.

The now-Anti-Baseball Command's commanding officer has to get his team ready; of course he is going to play pitcher. But now he is to begin batting practice with his most promising Padawan, also ongoing her Trials, Jessica Med-Beq. A Ralltiir native, Jessica was well-known as a batter and also as a lightsaber combatant. She has proven herself to be even better with a lightsaber and General North harbored some thought that she could become a great task force commander for the Anti-Baseball Command. But they have to wait until their ship is loaded with the construction supplies before jumping to hyperspace.

"Doesn't it seem paradoxical to you that I have to play baseball in order to fight the Galactic Baseball Cartel, Master?" Jessica asked before batting practice was to start.

"No, Jessica. Our plan is to mount our own baseball team and then take theysa team leaders one by one. Yousa have the best on-base average of any baseball player in the team. Once our ship is fully loaded and wesa have jumped to hyperspace, we will begin batting practice."

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