My secret hobby

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.



KidRock
A hobby of mine that nobody knows about is I like to be the first customer to take a shit at a new business. I find all the new businesses opening up such as grocery stores, Home Depots, restaurants, etc and I will walk in there first minute they are open for business and go right to the men's room and take a huge shit.

I have been doing this for 6 years now and have been the first customer to shit in over 110 stores throughout the area. I always buy something after so I can really be a customer. The night before I usually eat some bean burritos from Taco Bell and follow it up with a 20oz coffee on my way to the store early the next morning so I get the bubble gut which allows me a better chance of destroying the bathroom.

I have been the 1st person to shit in many new businesses throughout Southern Connecticut. I currently have 3 businesses that I'm waiting to open up for the public. I will make sure I'm the 1st to shit in the bathroom as a paying customer. I usually flush but sometimes if it's a massive one that requires a lot of toilet paper I will just leave it sitting, sort of like my calling card.

Bicnarok

carnage52
Originally posted by KidRock
A hobby of mine that nobody knows about is I like to be the first customer to take a shit at a new business. I find all the new businesses opening up such as grocery stores, Home Depots, restaurants, etc and I will walk in there first minute they are open for business and go right to the men's room and take a huge shit.

I have been doing this for 6 years now and have been the first customer to shit in over 110 stores throughout the area. I always buy something after so I can really be a customer. The night before I usually eat some bean burritos from Taco Bell and follow it up with a 20oz coffee on my way to the store early the next morning so I get the bubble gut which allows me a better chance of destroying the bathroom.

I have been the 1st person to shit in many new businesses throughout Southern Connecticut. I currently have 3 businesses that I'm waiting to open up for the public. I will make sure I'm the 1st to shit in the bathroom as a paying customer. I usually flush but sometimes if it's a massive one that requires a lot of toilet paper I will just leave it sitting, sort of like my calling card.

Ace of Knaves
Originally posted by KidRock
A hobby of mine that nobody knows about is I like to be the first customer to take a shit at a new business. I find all the new businesses opening up such as grocery stores, Home Depots, restaurants, etc and I will walk in there first minute they are open for business and go right to the men's room and take a huge shit.

I have been doing this for 6 years now and have been the first customer to shit in over 110 stores throughout the area. I always buy something after so I can really be a customer. The night before I usually eat some bean burritos from Taco Bell and follow it up with a 20oz coffee on my way to the store early the next morning so I get the bubble gut which allows me a better chance of destroying the bathroom.

I have been the 1st person to shit in many new businesses throughout Southern Connecticut. I currently have 3 businesses that I'm waiting to open up for the public. I will make sure I'm the 1st to shit in the bathroom as a paying customer. I usually flush but sometimes if it's a massive one that requires a lot of toilet paper I will just leave it sitting, sort of like my calling card.

KMC has been here for a while; what motivated you to stick around after you took your shit?

dadudemon
Originally posted by KidRock
A hobby of mine that nobody knows about is I like to be the first customer to take a shit at a new business. I find all the new businesses opening up such as grocery stores, Home Depots, restaurants, etc and I will walk in there first minute they are open for business and go right to the men's room and take a huge shit.

I have been doing this for 6 years now and have been the first customer to shit in over 110 stores throughout the area. I always buy something after so I can really be a customer. The night before I usually eat some bean burritos from Taco Bell and follow it up with a 20oz coffee on my way to the store early the next morning so I get the bubble gut which allows me a better chance of destroying the bathroom.

I have been the 1st person to shit in many new businesses throughout Southern Connecticut. I currently have 3 businesses that I'm waiting to open up for the public. I will make sure I'm the 1st to shit in the bathroom as a paying customer. I usually flush but sometimes if it's a massive one that requires a lot of toilet paper I will just leave it sitting, sort of like my calling card.

Sounds like fun.

I do something similar. I "ding" my crotch on undinged walls. I even make a "ding" sound so others can hear what is in my head.

Just a few pelvic thrusts with some dings, and the job is done.


Ding! Ding! ORDEEEEEER UUUUP!



Sometimes, if I see an attractive lady, I ding on her butt or face if she's sitting down. DING DING!





I have an alternate version where I bend over and put my butt on the same things and I blow really big raspberries. When I'm done, I turn around and "smell" my "farts." Then I make foul faces and say "OH MAN! THAT STAAAAANKS!" It is quite fun to do the fart thing on uptight people. They usually back away so you have to reach back with your arms and grab and hold them still while you "fart" on them. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAA! It's so fun. Pics, anyone?

Robtard
Yeah, that's retarded; the later more so than the former.

Darth Jello
KidRock, I hope you realize that forcing it or "bearing down" can cause hemorrhoids, anal fissure, and rectal prolapse. Is it really worth having injuries and conditions associated with elderly office workers, unsafe porn stars, and women who've had difficult deliveries just so you can leave a brown stain across Connecticut?

Bicnarok
I never have to "force it" my turds just flop out.
I must have a healthy diatsmile

Robtard
High fiber is key to a healthy digestive tract and anus.

dadudemon
Originally posted by Bicnarok
I never have to "force it" my turds just flop out.
I must have a healthy diatsmile

Well, if your shiat comes right out, then your diat probably ain't so bad.

Originally posted by Robtard
High fiber is key to a healthy digestive tract and anus.

In all 25 years of my life, I've never heard or read "healthy...anus" before.

Symmetric Chaos
I knew you were full of shit but this is just ridiculous.

dadudemon
Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
I knew you were full of shit but this is just ridiculous.
Apparently, KR is only full of shit the day before a store opens.

Earl v3.4
post removed

Robtard
Originally posted by dadudemon

In all 25 years of my life, I've never heard or read "healthy...anus" before.

You're welcome. A prolasped, wart-covered and fissure ridden anus would be an example of an 'unhealthy anus.'

Sadako of Girth
Years ago I worked in the warehouse of a big DIY store.

There was the usual bathroom sets on display on plinths, all unconnected to the plumbing that makes them work.

People would always piss in the toilets and yes twice one summer someone shat in them.

Fortunately I was too busy driving forktrucks and dealing with the goods-in side of things to get assigned clear up duty, myself.




So have you ever been to England, Kid Rock..?

Was that you, or is this a relatively common thing...? stick out tongue

Robtard
LoL, like in Jackass the movie. That would take some serious minerals to shit in an open display.

Mairuzu
I can't shit unless its my own bathroom

or i've taken shits in there before

Bardock42
Originally posted by Ace of Knaves
KMC has been here for a while; what motivated you to stick around after you took your shit?

Ha, great.

lil bitchiness
ermm

BackFire
I believe this is called a fetish rather than a hobby.

There are probably websites dedicated to such.

And I shall find them.

Scythe

Strangelove
Originally posted by Mairuzu
I can't shit unless its my own bathroom

or i've taken shits in there before well how can you have shat there before when you don't like shitting outside your bathroom?

the logical paradox is mind-blowing.

jinXed by JaNx
Originally posted by KidRock
A hobby of mine that nobody knows about is I like to be the first customer to take a shit at a new business. I find all the new businesses opening up such as grocery stores, Home Depots, restaurants, etc and I will walk in there first minute they are open for business and go right to the men's room and take a huge shit.

I have been doing this for 6 years now and have been the first customer to shit in over 110 stores throughout the area. I always buy something after so I can really be a customer. The night before I usually eat some bean burritos from Taco Bell and follow it up with a 20oz coffee on my way to the store early the next morning so I get the bubble gut which allows me a better chance of destroying the bathroom.

I have been the 1st person to shit in many new businesses throughout Southern Connecticut. I currently have 3 businesses that I'm waiting to open up for the public. I will make sure I'm the 1st to shit in the bathroom as a paying customer. I usually flush but sometimes if it's a massive one that requires a lot of toilet paper I will just leave it sitting, sort of like my calling card.

Most impressive

Mairuzu
Originally posted by Strangelove
well how can you have shat there before when you don't like shitting outside your bathroom?

the logical paradox is mind-blowing. once i get comfortable


usually at a public place i dont stay there long enough to get comfortable


i meant, in a place that i go to frequently awesome
not shit in frequently

Robtard
Originally posted by lil bitchiness
ermm

Don't act coy with me, you have your own pooping guilty pleasures. I know you've shat in public restrooms and purposely didn't flush, thereby leaving a welcoming present for the next user of the stall.

jinXed by JaNx
One of my Hobbies is giving the rush hour traffic a free show. Every once in a while when i am off in the afternoon and i have nothing else to do. I will go and sit on my little patio and lift up my shirt exposing my slight, yet most impressive gut in all of it's glorious hairiness. I then proceed to waddle about like a retard, hunched over while dipping my fingers into my belly button and patting myself on the head. It doesn't happen often but when it does i truly believe that i connect with people. One of these days i am going to cause an accident. That is my ultimate goal. Yeah, i'm just good like that.

dadudemon
Originally posted by jinXed by JaNx
One of my Hobbies is giving the rush hour traffic a free show. Every once in a while when i am off in the afternoon and i have nothing else to do. I will go and sit on my little patio and lift up my shirt exposing my slight, yet most impressive gut in all of it's glorious hairiness. I then proceed to waddle about like a retard, hunched over while dipping my fingers into my belly button and patting myself on the head. It doesn't happen often but when it does i truly believe that i connect with people. One of these days i am going to cause an accident. That is my ultimate goal. Yeah, i'm just good like that.

Pics, or it didn't happen.

jinXed by JaNx
lol just drive past evergreen rd in Pittsburgh sometime between 4-6 on a Tuesday and look towards the sidewalk for a silly man. Bring your camera, you might just witness a retarded sasquatch.

Nivvy
My secret hobby is to roll all my hair up, off the hairbrush - and throw it into my neighbours windows. MWA HA HA HA. I hear the woman complain each week about having to vacuum the floor YET AGAIN. Yeahhh baby.

dj slade
i like to flood the public toilet bowls with my shit then put a whole role of toilet paper in it then flush it then it floods the floor then i run .

~Bun Bun~
Haha nice kid.

Funny story... I was working at Kroger as a bagger and we had a very large women who was not quite right in her mind come threw and as she was checking out she shit her pants and shook it out her pant leg. If that wasn't enough she turned to the cashier and said " I pooped" blink

(Yes I had to clean it up)

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.