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Here's what this is:

It's a place to talk about everyday encounters or events from your own life that deal in some way with religion. We're all interesting people (haermm) and we like to talk religion. We undoubtedly have fun stuff to tell.

This isn't a place to post Chicken Soup For the Soul-esque stories to tout a particular belief system. Nor is it the place to attack the veracity of stories in order to further your own worldview.

Now, if you have an event from your life that, in the course of telling it, sends a clear message that you are or aren't a particular religion, that's fine. It would be impossible to avoid this. But I think (hope?) that we're all aware enough to realize the difference between sharing a story and proselytizing. The former is encouraged. The latter will be reported.

Feel free to add your own, or comment on others' stories.

....

Anyway, I'll start...

So today I was at a dinner following a church golf outing. It was a group my dad had belonged to for years, and many of his old friends were there. Good food, free beer, good times. So a Santa Claus stand-in (seriously, bowl full of jelly belly and a scruffy white beard) finds me at one point and starts chatting me up. This eventually leads to the question:
"Do you attend church here?"
"Oh, no. My family does but I don't."
Suddenly more serious: "Well you should."
I smile slightly and also try to avoid an eye-roll, because I see where it's going. "Uh, yeah. Thanks but no thanks."

It's always a fine line when this happens to me (and it has a few times). I enjoy religious discussion, but this was clearly unsolicited and he intended for it to be one-sided rather than an exchange of ideas. It's generally uncalled for, so I'm a bit annoyed when it happens and would love to go on the offensive, either with defending my privacy in religious decisions or in questioning his own practices and beliefs. On the other hand, I'm a pretty laid back dude who doesn't like offending others, and for the most part I have no problem with religion or its adherents. I've only really gone off once in my life, and the dude more than deserved it. But it's a recurring struggle with these things.

Anyway, I tried to remain congenial with Santa but eventually tried to trip him up. After some of his own brief proselytizing, he asked me, "who put you on this earth?"
"My parents," once again waiting for the inevitable response, accompanied by a slight head wag.
"God did."
"Really? How do you know that?" I asked, finally allowing myself a touch of irony. He just smiled and tapped his heart a few times. He's probably a real altruistic dude, and thought he was doing a great thing. So it's hard to be angry, but I was still annoyed.
I tapped my own heart. "Well I have this that says that that's wrong. How do we know which one of us is right?"
"You just have to look inside yourself and be able to give thanks for what you have." Ok, so I was done at that point. I had expected either an appeal to faith or a dodge, and got the latter, and didn't feel like continuing. I wanted to let him know I am atheist, because I don't think he had put it together, and thought I was a lapsed Christian who simply didn't practice anymore. It might have given him a shock. But I got myself out with some cliche lines and left.

So yeah, nothing profound, evil, funny, etc. But I've encountered this sort of thing enough to have it be something that I think about, because I'm always unsure of how to handle it. It's tempting to be a d*ck, but I would also feel bad about it more often than not.

If anyone has similar stories, feel free to share. Or completely unrelated ones, share those as well.

Boo!

Er, I remember in 8th grade I got in a huge fight with this Wicca girl who claimed Wicca had a ton of original aspects not share by any other religion. So we got into an argument where she'd try to come up with something, and id tell her X religion thought of it first. It was almost a bit scary how uneducated she seemed about religion, including her own.

She stuck away from me after that.

A similar argument I got into with this fundamentalist girl made her parents home school her...

Not a conversation, but there is an amusing though scathing review of Left Behind on the blog (or something, I'm not too down with intricacies of net lingo) slacktivist. The first few pages are pretty much what I expected. Then about five pages in it turns out that the reviewer himself is an evangelical Christian who believes in the literal resurrection of the body when Jesus returns.

I dunno, that just hit me completely out of left field.

My uncle's father was an Orthodox Jew who went to temple every day to davin. One day, when he was old and finished praying, he laid down his prayer book, leaned back, closed his eyes and died.

Choosing your time and place, especially one which brings great comfort and meaning: nice way to go.

I was in Church sitting in the pews and a money collector sat near me, I didn't put anything in the bag and so he passed on...as he went down the pews he insulted people who didn't put money in. For the next few weeks I sat next to him, much to his anger, and attempted to discuss why it was wrong to force people into giving money. He repeatedly threatened to attack me or other things, on one occasion coming close to it.

However, after I moved onto the Altar I never got to sit next to him any more. I still see him around, not a very pleasant character.

That's messed up. Dude needs a talking-to from the pastor.

Originally posted by Digi

If anyone has similar stories, feel free to share. Or completely unrelated ones, share those as well.

A couple years ago my son witnessed something like that on his college campus. Members of the Westboro Baptist Church were there in force with their signs and bullhorns and telling people that they're all going to Hell and America is doomed like usual. And Shirley Phelps got torn up by a Hindu student. He started it by telling her that they also believe Jesus is divine (an avatar), so why are Christians like her so exclusive. She then said that Hindus are pagans, that they "commandeered" Jesus for their own purposes and that Gandhi is in Hell. He then said that there's actually only one God in Hinduism, all the "others" are representations of different attributes of the Creator, like the Trinity in Christianity or the 99 Names of God in Islam. He then added that Gandhi is closer to Jesus than Fred Phelps (her dad) could ever hope to be, and she went off the deep end. So basically, he totally and masterfully handled that crazy broad.

So I received a forward from a friend via email today. I don't see him very often, and he was among those who "expressed concern" (i.e. tried to re-convert me) when I became an atheist. The email included a chicken-soupy anecdote about a conversation between an atheist professor and a christian student, and is a defense of theism. I've seen it before, as I'm sure some of you have. The Christian is purportedly Albert Einstein, though besides being an appeal to authority I think we can agree that his theism (such as it was) never really bent toward mainstream Christianity in his adult life.

He's still a good guy, his attempted conversion those years ago was much more tactful than some, and I like hanging out with him. But the email seems particularly awkward. I have no idea how to respond. The premise of the story, of course, makes certain flawed assumptions about atheism, and is also very one-sided in its argument. I'd have no problem refuting it, but that's not the concern. I guess I just don't understand such...i dunno, transparent attempts at conversion. If I wanted to convert someone, I'd sit down with them and hash things out point by point in a discussion. I would never resort to anecdotal silliness that merely takes occasional swipes at the person instead of treating their worldview with proper respect.

So I'm not angry. Far from it, in fact. He's trying to do good, and while I disagree with the methods and am slightly annoyed by them, I respect the intent. I'm just not sure how to react in a way that presents my opinion on both the story and the email itself, but doesn't come off in a negative manner.

...not fishing for advice, btw, unless you guys feel so inclined. Just putting it out there as a personal anecdote, since that was the intent of this thread (both my stories have been attempted conversions...heh, I should try to branch out more).

Originally posted by Digi
So I received a forward from a friend via email today. I don't see him very often, and he was among those who "expressed concern" (i.e. tried to re-convert me) when I became an atheist. The email included a chicken-soupy anecdote about a conversation between an atheist professor and a christian student, and is a defense of theism. I've seen it before, as I'm sure some of you have. The Christian is purportedly Albert Einstein, though besides being an appeal to authority I think we can agree that his theism (such as it was) never really bent toward mainstream Christianity in his adult life.

He's still a good guy, his attempted conversion those years ago was much more tactful than some, and I like hanging out with him. But the email seems particularly awkward. I have no idea how to respond. The premise of the story, of course, makes certain flawed assumptions about atheism, and is also very one-sided in its argument. I'd have no problem refuting it, but that's not the concern. I guess I just don't understand such...i dunno, transparent attempts at conversion. If I wanted to convert someone, I'd sit down with them and hash things out point by point in a discussion. I would never resort to anecdotal silliness that merely takes occasional swipes at the person instead of treating their worldview with proper respect.

So I'm not angry. Far from it, in fact. He's trying to do good, and while I disagree with the methods and am slightly annoyed by them, I respect the intent. I'm just not sure how to react in a way that presents my opinion on both the story and the email itself, but doesn't come off in a negative manner.

...not fishing for advice, btw, unless you guys feel so inclined. Just putting it out there as a personal anecdote, since that was the intent of this thread (both my stories have been attempted conversions...heh, I should try to branch out more).

Advice: (and you can ignore it if you like), Do not refer to the story at all, when you e-mail him back. Instead reminisce about the good old days, and ignore any of his attempts to engage in this kind of conversation. That is what I would do, in your shoes.

Alternate: if forced into it, you cloud point out that Einstein sent a letter to the president supporting the development of the atomic bomb, and that he regretted it later in life. This only goes to show that even Einstein is sometimes wrong.

Originally posted by Shakyamunison
Advice: (and you can ignore it if you like), Do not refer to the story at all, when you e-mail him back. Instead reminisce about the good old days, and ignore any of his attempts to engage in this kind of conversation. That is what I would do, in your shoes.

Ha, I suppose I can try. I may not have that kind of restraint though. My KMC-trained religious debate reflex is strong.



I also like the Einstein suggestion. It's a clever refutation, though I doubt I'll get into particulars of the story. It will hopefully suffice to say I disagree with it, and hopefully he'll leave it at that.

Originally posted by Digi
Ha, I suppose I can try. I may not have that kind of restraint though. My KMC-trained religious debate reflex is strong.



Check out my alternate.

{edit from digi - i did }

Originally posted by Digi
...not fishing for advice, btw, unless you guys feel so inclined. Just putting it out there as a personal anecdote, since that was the intent of this thread (both my stories have been attempted conversions...heh, I should try to branch out more). Usually when I get into conversations/debates where the two sides never shall meet, sooner or later I tend to emphasize what I consider most important: mutual respect for difference of opinion. This is something both sides -- if of reasonable mind -- can agree with, and in a subtle way it's also saying, "So stop trying to convert me, since I won't be converted to your side any more than you will be to my side."

Originally posted by Digi
So I received a forward from a friend via email today. I don't see him very often, and he was among those who "expressed concern" (i.e. tried to re-convert me) when I became an atheist. The email included a chicken-soupy anecdote about a conversation between an atheist professor and a christian student, and is a defense of theism. I've seen it before, as I'm sure some of you have. The Christian is purportedly Albert Einstein, though besides being an appeal to authority I think we can agree that his theism (such as it was) never really bent toward mainstream Christianity in his adult life.

He's still a good guy, his attempted conversion those years ago was much more tactful than some, and I like hanging out with him. But the email seems particularly awkward. I have no idea how to respond. The premise of the story, of course, makes certain flawed assumptions about atheism, and is also very one-sided in its argument. I'd have no problem refuting it, but that's not the concern. I guess I just don't understand such...i dunno, transparent attempts at conversion. If I wanted to convert someone, I'd sit down with them and hash things out point by point in a discussion. I would never resort to anecdotal silliness that merely takes occasional swipes at the person instead of treating their worldview with proper respect.

So I'm not angry. Far from it, in fact. He's trying to do good, and while I disagree with the methods and am slightly annoyed by them, I respect the intent. I'm just not sure how to react in a way that presents my opinion on both the story and the email itself, but doesn't come off in a negative manner.

...not fishing for advice, btw, unless you guys feel so inclined. Just putting it out there as a personal anecdote, since that was the intent of this thread (both my stories have been attempted conversions...heh, I should try to branch out more).

http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp

Originally posted by Quiero Mota
A couple years ago my son witnessed something like that on his college campus. Members of the Westboro Baptist Church were there in force with their signs and bullhorns and telling people that they're all going to Hell and America is doomed like usual. And Shirley Phelps got torn up by a Hindu student. He started it by telling her that they also believe Jesus is divine (an avatar), so why are Christians like her so exclusive. She then said that Hindus are pagans, that they "commandeered" Jesus for their own purposes and that Gandhi is in Hell. He then said that there's actually only one God in Hinduism, all the "others" are representations of different attributes of the Creator, like the Trinity in Christianity or the 99 Names of God in Islam. He then added that Gandhi is closer to Jesus than Fred Phelps (her dad) could ever hope to be, and she went off the deep end. So basically, he totally and masterfully handled that crazy broad.

Ha, funny; well played. Still wish after he handed her, her ass. He'd have head-butted her in the ****.

I once got involved in a mass "debate" (Christians and Jews versus Atheists) on my university campus. A day later I reflected upon how pointless and unproductive the "debate" was, I still shudder at the fact that I participated in such a load of pointless bullsh*t.

I teach music lessons, and one of my students (young girl) asked me what I was giving up for Lent. I can't impart her tone through words, but the innocence of the question was priceless because it was clear she considered there to be no alternative. So I smiled and told her I wasn't religious. Her response was "You mean like Jewish?" No, I clarified, just not religious at all. "You don't have to be a religion?!" she asked incredulously. The whole thing was cute. And I'm moderately happy I got to open her mind slightly to the world around her.

Haven't emailed the dude back yet from my earlier story. I'll likely add in a conclusion to it when I do.

Originally posted by Adam_PoE
http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp

Excellent, thank you. I may attach this to my email, though I'll likely have to temper it lest it send the wrong message.

Originally posted by Digi
I teach music lessons, and one of my students (young girl) asked me what I was giving up for Lent. I can't impart her tone through words, but the innocence of the question was priceless because it was clear she considered there to be no alternative. So I smiled and told her I wasn't religious. Her response was "You mean like Jewish?" No, I clarified, just not religious at all. "You don't have to be a religion?!" she asked incredulously. The whole thing was cute. And I'm moderately happy I got to open her mind slightly to the world around her.

nuts I thought you were an English teacher!



Anyway, story of my own. For Christmas one year my grandfather gave me the Bahgavahd Gita with a card that read something like "to see what most of the world believes". Kind of a dick move, he was clearly hoping to annoy my mother, but it's an interesting book to have (I keep it next to my stolen Book of Mormon and compendiums of Greek and Norse mythology).


It's interesting how people think that religions are somehow total anathema to one another. Like if you put a Jew and a Christian in the same room they would be compelled to fight to the death or something. I remember mentioning in high school that I went to a Passover seder every other year and people were absolutely floored that I wasn't Jewish.

Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
nuts I thought you were an English teacher!



Anyway, story of my own. For Christmas one year my grandfather gave me the Bahgavahd Gita with a card that read something like "to see what most of the world believes". Kind of a dick move, he was clearly hoping to annoy my mother, but it's an interesting book to have (I keep it next to my stolen Book of Mormon and compendiums of Greek and Norse mythology).


It's interesting how people think that religions are somehow total anathema to one another. Like if you put a Jew and a Christian in the same room they would be compelled to fight to the death or something. I remember mentioning in high school that I went to a Passover seder every other year and people were absolutely floored that I wasn't Jewish.

Lawl. Yeah, when I was young I remember that I used to think it was odd that my Catholic church had so many joint functions with the Presbyterians down the road. Same idea I guess, though your experience with it is a bit more widespread. But your gramps sounds cool.

And I do a bit of both. I'm talented.

Originally posted by Blinky
I once got involved in a mass "debate" (Christians and Jews versus Atheists) on my university campus. A day later I reflected upon how pointless and unproductive the "debate" was, I still shudder at the fact that I participated in such a load of pointless bullsh*t.

WTF, you had a bunch of Christians and Jews together and you didn't bedazzle them with this best religious joke? For shame.

-Joke

A Rabbi and a Priest are walking down the street discussing theology when a little boy runs by.

Priest says: "Hey, wanna go screw that little kid?"

Rabbi responds: "Screw him outta what?"

Originally posted by Digi
So I smiled and told her I wasn't religious. Her response was "You mean like Jewish?"Oy. Goyim...

Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
It's interesting how people think that religions are somehow total anathema to one another. Like if you put a Jew and a Christian in the same room they would be compelled to fight to the death or something. That was pre-Vatican II.

Ah. Good times.

may you live in interesting times x)

So I bought a zip-up hoodie the other day, that when zipped up forms a giant Autobot symbol.

And I'm going to leave a bar last night and zip it up. Two of my friends look at it and one looks at me and says, "That is awesome." It was a religious moment for me.

Originally posted by Digi
So I bought a zip-up hoodie the other day, that when zipped up forms a giant Autobot symbol.

And I'm going to leave a bar last night and zip it up. Two of my friends look at it and one looks at me and says, "That is awesome." It was a religious moment for me.

The hoodie presthood awaits you.

As part of my Comparative Religions/Research in Sociology joint class, I had to observe a Synod Lutheran church service (I've been doing community service for them for the past two months.)

It was an interesting experience since I was raised in a more Charismatic fundamentalist setting and in comparison the Lutherans were fairly... well scripted almost.

In a way it was almost weird to be there. The only atheist surrounded by a bunch of people that believe the Bible is the innerant word of god and that everything in the Bible should be taken literally.

It was creepy.

Originally posted by Autokrat
As part of my Comparative Religions/Research in Sociology joint class, I had to observe a Synod Lutheran church service (I've been doing community service for them for the past two months.)

It was an interesting experience since I was raised in a more Charismatic fundamentalist setting and in comparison the Lutherans were fairly... well scripted almost.

In a way it was almost weird to be there. The only atheist surrounded by a bunch of people that believe the Bible is the innerant word of god and that everything in the Bible should be taken literally.

It was creepy.

I should go back to church at some point just for the experience of it as an atheist. I think the last time I seriously went I knew I wasn't Christian anymore but hadn't hashed out my new worldview yet. Anyway, fun story.

Originally posted by Digi
I should go back to church at some point just for the experience of it as an atheist. I think the last time I seriously went I knew I wasn't Christian anymore but hadn't hashed out my new worldview yet. Anyway, fun story.

It was somewhat awkward when I had to explain to people why I was there. I mean I couldn't just say, "Oh hey I'm getting the demographics of your church and writing a ten page academic report on it so it can be scientifically studied by my class and compared with data from other student teams."

I figured that would make them feel like a lab rat.

Although the most awkward part was explaining that I was an atheist. I was tempted to say agnostic since that has less of a "negative" connotation, but screw it. I wasn't going to shy around what I was. Even though several people tried to convince me the error of my ways and explain why Christianity was better than everything else.

Originally posted by Autokrat
It was somewhat awkward when I had to explain to people why I was there. I mean I couldn't just say, "Oh hey I'm getting the demographics of your church and writing a ten page academic report on it so it can be scientifically studied by my class and compared with data from other student teams."

I figured that would make them feel like a lab rat.

Although the most awkward part was explaining that I was an atheist. I was tempted to say agnostic since that has less of a "negative" connotation, but screw it. I wasn't going to shy around what I was. Even though several people tried to convince me the error of my ways and explain why Christianity was better than everything else.

My sister had to do something that was almost identical for her degree, and it involved going to a Christian Science church. They first tried to convert her then turned skeptical and a bit standoffish when she explained why she was there. She ended up agreeing to an interview with one of the church's leaders because they wanted to ensure that they weren't portrayed in a negative light. Sounded like controlling your press to me, but meh, it wasn't my assignment. My sister was undoubtedly more forgiving than I would have been in her report.

She's Catholic though, so there wasn't quite the shock reaction that atheism would receive. I've resorted to "non-religious" when I realize beforehand that there won't be ample opportunity to discuss it, or when the conversation will be very one-sided. Though I will admit to using the word atheist a few times before for the reaction it elicits....it amuses me.

I had an incident recently (or rather two). It's not religious per se, althought people who spoke to me obviously assumed I was something or other.

We were in a club few weeks ago, and I was sitting with my friends at a table (they were all French or Quebecois, and visibly so). Two people came up to me, two women and some of their friends, that stood behind them. They were agressively leaning over the table demanding to know if I was an effing Arab. I replied I was not. Then she said, ''you look like an Arab''. And left. What she meant to say was ''you look like a Muslim''.


The other time, I was waslking down St Cathrine with my friend from Lebanon, who was visibly Arab, and we got shouted at ''go home you effing terrorists''.
The thing is, they assumed we were Muslims, when ironically, neither of us are. My Lebanese friend is a Christian.

People are retards.

Originally posted by lil bitchiness
We were in a club few weeks ago, and I was sitting with my friends at a table (they were all French or Quebecois, and visibly so). Two people came up to me, two women and some of their friends, that stood behind them. They were agressively leaning over the table demanding to know if I was an effing Arab. I replied I was not. Then she said, ''you look like an Arab''. And left. What she meant to say was ''you look like a Muslim''.

This assumes you're psychic and she's an idiot . . .

Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
This assumes you're psychic and she's an idiot . . .

OMFG no way!

a wild moderator appears!

My class was having a debate on the influence on theists in society and why religious people are never expected to have to prove that a deity exists as opposed to demanding that the atheists prove them that they are wrong. Essentially why proving the negative had become the standard with which to enter debates.

Anyways, the debate went way off topic and I mentioned a research foll that showed that half of American's believed in young Earth Creationism and how I felt this was a good indicator that a large number of the US population really doesn't know what they believe. My argument was that if people really understood the evidence, they would realize that young Earth Creationism is an absurd and delusional belief.

This was something a mistake since I didn't realize that the only religious member of the class that we had, was a fundamentalist. He freaked and accused me of calling his beliefs delusional.

The debate kind of went downhill from there, although I refused to recant on my point. It was a damn higher institution of learning; I refuse to entertain creationism as a rational, cogent viewpoint.

Originally posted by Autokrat
My class was having a debate on the influence on theists in society and why religious people are never expected to have to prove that a deity exists as opposed to demanding that the atheists prove them that they are wrong. Essentially why proving the negative had become the standard with which to enter debates.

Anyways, the debate went way off topic and I mentioned a research foll that showed that half of American's believed in young Earth Creationism and how I felt this was a good indicator that a large number of the US population really doesn't know what they believe. My argument was that if people really understood the evidence, they would realize that young Earth Creationism is an absurd and delusional belief.

This was something a mistake since I didn't realize that the only religious member of the class that we had, was a fundamentalist. He freaked and accused me of calling his beliefs delusional.

The debate kind of went downhill from there, although I refused to recant on my point. It was a damn higher institution of learning; I refuse to entertain creationism as a rational, cogent viewpoint.

Awesome.

I dated a girl once who believed Oijia (sic?) boards were real. I was dumbfounded, and ended up accidentally insulting her as a result of my opinion on them. We didn't last much longer. Not exactly the same, but your story reminded me of that.

Originally posted by Autokrat
My class was having a debate on the influence on theists in society and why religious people are never expected to have to prove that a deity exists as opposed to demanding that the atheists prove them that they are wrong. Essentially why proving the negative had become the standard with which to enter debates.

Anyways, the debate went way off topic and I mentioned a research foll that showed that half of American's believed in young Earth Creationism and how I felt this was a good indicator that a large number of the US population really doesn't know what they believe. My argument was that if people really understood the evidence, they would realize that young Earth Creationism is an absurd and delusional belief.

This was something a mistake since I didn't realize that the only religious member of the class that we had, was a fundamentalist. He freaked and accused me of calling his beliefs delusional.

The debate kind of went downhill from there, although I refused to recant on my point. It was a damn higher institution of learning; I refuse to entertain creationism as a rational, cogent viewpoint.

It is telling that this person acted that way. I mean if someone in the class said the Earth was flat, would you get upset? No, not really... You are confident about the Earth being round. I think this fundamentalist in your class is not confident about his beliefs. I think that is why he got upset.

The debate ended on something of an ugly note, especially when we started talking about faith.

Originally posted by Autokrat
The debate ended on something of an ugly note, especially when we started talking about faith.

Did you know that faith is a code word for "I'm right, and you are wrong"? It's no wonder the debate ended on faith. What you have to do is not let them get away with that by pointing out where faith goes wrong (like Unicorns, and the Easter Bunny).

Rabbi, priest, and minister are all in the forest and have a competition to see who's the best at what they do. Finally they decide that in order to prove there 'leet religion skills, they will all go out and find an animal and convert it.

They all meet the next day.

the priest says: Well, I went out on my quest and found a rabbit. I read him the catechism and he'll be attending mass this Sunday.

Everyone agrees that that was a success.

The Minister says: Ha, I found a squirrel and got him to sit still while I read from the bible and finally he let me baptise him.

Everyone agrees that that was a success.

The Rabbi is in a wheel chair and neck brace typing everything he says Stephen Hawking style.

"What happened?" everyone asks.

The rabbi's speaker says in it's slow robotic voice:
I went out and I met a bear in the woods and......

mayyybeeeee I shouldn't have started with the Circumcision.

Originally posted by One Free Man
Rabbi, priest, and minister are all in the forest and have a competition to see who's the best at what they do. Finally they decide that in order to prove there 'leet religion skills, they will all go out and find an animal and convert it.

They all meet the next day.

the priest says: Well, I went out on my quest and found a rabbit. I read him the catechism and he'll be attending mass this Sunday.

Everyone agrees that that was a success.

The Minister says: Ha, I found a squirrel and got him to sit still while I read from the bible and finally he let me baptise him.

Everyone agrees that that was a success.

The Rabbi is in a wheel chair and neck brace typing everything he says Stephen Hawking style.

"What happened?" everyone asks.

The rabbi's speaker says in it's slow robotic voice:
I went out and I met a bear in the woods and......

mayyybeeeee I shouldn't have started with the Circumcision.

SPAM

Originally posted by Symmetric Chaos
SPAM Wrong. it's religious, and an anecdote.

It's also hilarious.

Originally posted by One Free Man
Wrong. it's religious, and an anecdote.

It's also hilarious.

And it's in the wrong thread.

Right. We have a religion humor thread. That would be the appropriate place for it. Understandable mistake though.

Well I'll keep this story short.

I grew up in a very religious family and decided for myself to leave the faith. Years later I found like others that life can have hardships. I was in the middle of one when it seems the whole church I had belonged to and family members were contacting me stating that my bad luck was Jesus procecuting me for leaving the faith. I would say back to them, but it is the religious people that are doing this to me, you know the Jesus people. Why would the Jesus people of love pull such awful nasty, rude, illegal, deceptive things to me? Is this what Jesus is about, I said? One person who just happened to be my brother would just laugh at me and tell me it was all my fault for leaving the church and that I deserved everything I got. Well as Karma would have it, a year later he went through the same thing himself. I didn't say anything to him, but I sure felt like saying, "Maybe you weren't a GOOD ENOUGH christian, eh? Maybe Jesus is punishing you."

That's what you get for judging other people.

Oh well, I left out a lot of detail, but oh well point made, I think.

which reminds me, I have to email back the dude who had the conversion-via-email attempt from one of my earlier stories.

Thanks for the story debbie. Your former Christian group seems much more vitriolic than mine, though I wasn't exempt entirely from negativity when I left.

Anyway, as a follow-up to this, my reply:

....

"Hey buddy. I had seen the story before, though not in that exact form. Einstein, it seems, is a popular figure for use in such stories:
http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp

But in any case, I hope all's well with you and {omitted}. I think it's been since {} last year that I saw you last, when we watched a game after {}. If you're ever in town with some time on your hands, drop me a line and we'll hang out.

Peace!
-{}"

....

...with certain omissions for privacy purposes.

I couldn't resist using Adam_PoE's link about the story. It was just too delicious not to use, though I did try to stay as respectful as possible.

when i was 5 or 6 yrs old my grandpa woke me in the middle of the night so he could talk to me. he told me he loved me and he would always be there for me and watch over me. i smiled gave him a hug and he told me to go back to sleep, so i did.

woke up next morning being hyperactive out of my room screaming about where was grandpa that i was happy he had come to visit us.. everyone was in the living room crying and i upset ppl b/c i told them grandpa woke me to say hi when he had arrived at night.

more ppl started crying and others were upset with me and very angry with what i had said. turned out my grandpa had passed away that same night thousand miles away from where we lived.


i got another good story.

When I was 12 I was bit on the face by a dog and got stiches. I was told that god did it cause I was a bad girl. Why would god do that?


Oh, now I understand. god = dog?

Originally posted by Deja~vu
When I was 12 I was bit on the face by a dog and got stiches. I was told that god did it cause I was a bad girl. Why would god do that?


Oh, now I understand. god = dog?

homer because you were a bad girl.

Originally posted by Shakyamunison
homer because you were a bad girl.

I was also told that I didn't have a soul. That's not a nice thing to tell a 9 year old.

WTF. Maybe they're right.

Originally posted by Deja~vu
I was also told that I didn't have a soul. That's not a nice thing to tell a 9 year old.

WTF. Maybe they're right.

The only soul that anyone really has is on the bottom of their shoe

Well then in that case I have 2.

youre so cute

Originally posted by Deja~vu
When I was 12 I was bit on the face by a dog and got stiches. I was told that god did it cause I was a bad girl. Why would god do that?


Oh, now I understand. god = dog? i was also bit in the face by my wolf/dog and had to get stitches you and i have so much in common.. wanna get married ? maybe its fate unless u got hideously scarred and ur ugly and have no soul.

Oops....must be the shrooooms

Originally posted by Deja~vu


Who needs a soul. I got rythum and blues.. Much different from black and blues