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One day Lois is visiting Bruce in his mansion and Alfred brings her a drink. While passing the drink to her his hand begins to shake. Suddenly, the drink flies to the ground and Alfred starts to foam at the mouth. Alfred procalims he will kill Lois in Mortal Combat.

Who wins?

Alfred.

Lois... kick in da ballz ftw! But maybe Alfred picked up a thing or to from MAster Bruce.... hmmm....

lol hokay....while alfred is a war veteran, Lois Lane is a tough newspaper reporter...and still young. one kick in the balls isn't gonna put down a war veteran.

A war veteran who has been kidnapped 26 times unsucessfully.

Alfred pwns.

I wonder how many times Alfred had to bandage HIMSELF up?....

Lois doesn't strike me as someone who can fight..

Alfed has been in wars, he can take care of himself..

Alfred pwns

now I will give Lois a chance here. I believe she would give Alfred the fight of his life...but this is a war veteran here.