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Both ancient, but still highly capable men.

Trapped on an Island, these two must scheme to utterly destroy the other before they're both killed by an air raid.

They can use anything they find on the island, from coconuts to beach sand.

Who wins and how?

Farnsworth is stronger and smarter. IIRC a wet sponge was heavy enough to drown Mr. Burns in a tub.

There's no question if it came down to a H2H, as a bee has carried him away and he can't crush a paper cup, but he's far more devious.

Agreed but I would allow Smithers to be there and help him in the sense that he could follow his orders and set up any trap or whatever but he can't just punch Farnsy down. Burns is more devious but he lacks the strength to set up the plans, or dig a trap hole or anything like that. Farnsworth is smarter but lacks common sense mostly due to age.

And being Fry's descendant.

Originally posted by XanatosForever
And being Fry's descendant.

Who is his own grandfather, and not in the okay way either.

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At least he saved the universe

Originally posted by Robtard
Who is his own grandfather, and not in the okay way either.

He did do the nasty in the pasty.

Burns because out of the family he's my favorite character on the show.

If Burns got that shot that Homer gave him in that episode where he dates the Cop then I give it to burns. If not then it'll probably be Farnsworth due to technology.