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Chapter One: My name is Kram3r, stranger.

It's night time here, in ol' Sydney town. It's a peaceful night -- a peaceful Saturday night. the city is alive with people my age "getting it on" and "sipping back a few" and "giving oral sex" and "barfing on the side walk for the city council cleaners to wash off Sunday morning". Yes, Sydney is a fine woman with breasts like a pregnant Grizzly Bear lactating ever so quietly in the woods. So, the question begs at my feet and yours, fine readers. Why am I here? Well, that's a good question, and one I assume that will be answered in due time.

See, I'm what they call a man. Now, as a man, I have a fine coat of hair that extends from my head to my face to give me a rich, full look. A look that says "Hey, you're alright." and you know what? I am. Oh, but the hair doesn't stop here. The hair grows. It grows around my belly button, where once my mother fed me. The diet wasn't too good, but I admired the hospitality. I also have hair around my genitals, probably not the most ideal place to grow as it covers the full view of my penis but, when I shave, boy am I surprised. It's like mowing the lawn and finding that football that gave you your first touchdown -- Magnificent.

Ever smoked a cigarette? A cigar? Some weed? Or perhaps for those in lower income districts, a crack pipe? Well not me, no. No sir, I'm a clean man. In this game, you've got to keep your wits about you. If you don't, you'll die, and frankly, I don't want to be six feet under with Nonna Dentice who once embarrassed me by wearing her old Ballet outfit. That's a true story. That woman had hands like a Ox. One tug and she could rip your arm off. What I guess I'm trying to express is that, be live O' citizens of New Earth! That saying will ring ever true as I reveal more.

Bit of alright

i would like to reserve my copy now please

Wise words.

I also have hair around my penis.

Bravo mate, real fine piece of true blue, fair dinkum, pour me a cold one and tell me a story aussie litrerature this is. Intelectual and deep, like the stuff I write, and find written on the back of my uni toilet stall walls. Food for thought, and thought for growth.

Write more, get it published, I willl even pay for a copy.

PS. we should party (serious)

Your truely,

The sneaky f*cking Russian.

xoxo

Originally posted by Kostabot
PS. we should party (serious)

Your truely,

The sneaky f*cking Russian.

xoxo

Get your ass to Sydney before I leave and we will. haermm

After reading this, I feel gayer already haermm

Originally posted by Kram3r
Chapter One: My name is Kram3r, stranger.

It's night time here, in ol' Sydney town. It's a peaceful night -- a peaceful Saturday night. the city is alive with people my age "getting it on" and "sipping back a few" and "giving oral sex" and "barfing on the side walk for the city council cleaners to wash off Sunday morning". Yes, Sydney is a fine woman with breasts like a pregnant Grizzly Bear lactating ever so quietly in the woods. So, the question begs at my feet and yours, fine readers. Why am I here? Well, that's a good question, and one I assume that will be answered in due time.

See, I'm what they call a man. Now, as a man, I have a fine coat of hair that extends from my head to my face to give me a rich, full look. A look that says "Hey, you're alright." and you know what? I am. Oh, but the hair doesn't stop here. The hair grows. It grows around my belly button, where once my mother fed me. The diet wasn't too good, but I admired the hospitality. I also have hair around my genitals, probably not the most ideal place to grow as it covers the full view of my penis but, when I shave, boy am I surprised. It's like mowing the lawn and finding that football that gave you your first touchdown -- Magnificent.

Ever smoked a cigarette? A cigar? Some weed? Or perhaps for those in lower income districts, a crack pipe? Well not me, no. No sir, I'm a clean man. In this game, you've got to keep your wits about you. If you don't, you'll die, and frankly, I don't want to be six feet under with Nonna Dentice who once embarrassed me by wearing her old Ballet outfit. That's a true story. That woman had hands like a Ox. One tug and she could rip your arm off. What I guess I'm trying to express is that, be live O' citizens of New Earth! That saying will ring ever true as I reveal more.
.... your an idiot..

Originally posted by Scarlet Fox
.... your an idiot..


*You're









I read it out of respect because you're friggin' Kramer.


How about additional writings come with a rating that allows users to rank it from 1-10.

I'm not mentioned at all.

I love it.

Originally posted by Syren
I love it.

I <3 U. awesome

Writing second chapter soon.

about that weed..

Originally posted by Hazardous
After reading this, I feel gayer already haermm

Not possible stoned

You're not in Toronto mate....I looked, everywhere, and I didn't see you.

Originally posted by Moosey
You're not in Toronto mate....I looked, everywhere, and I didn't see you.

Mate, it's all pending. Already have me a visa.

Originally posted by silver_tears
Not possible stoned

I'll give you that one, but because I set myself up for it I'll take half the credit stoned

Originally posted by Kram3r
I <3 U. awesome

Writing second chapter soon.

eyes

Facebook <3 me again, honey.

Originally posted by Syren
eyes

Facebook <3 me again, honey.

Check it now. haermm

Originally posted by Kram3r
Check it now. haermm



I didn't actually mean on FB, as the boyfriend might see. Now you've done it crazy

Originally posted by Syren


I didn't actually mean on FB, as the boyfriend might see. Now you've done it crazy

Oh haha, sorry! Totally make you my prom date though, that would have shown that School Captain Tim Austin a lesson. OH SHI-

Originally posted by Kram3r
Oh haha, sorry! Totally make you my prom date though, that would have shown that School Captain Tim Austin a lesson. OH SHI-



Wait, wut?

Originally posted by Kram3r
Mate, it's all pending. Already have me a visa.

False advertising mate...bad form.

Originally posted by Moosey
False advertising mate...bad form.

Was never one to wait.

Originally posted by Kram3r
Was never one to wait.

Coulda saved me loads of time scouring the seediest dives in Toronto though.

Originally posted by Moosey
Coulda saved me loads of time scouring the seediest dives in Toronto though.

Knowing the pitiful minimum wage Ontario has, you'd be looking in the right places.

Originally posted by Scarlet Fox
.... your an idiot..

You know what the ironic thing here is?

No, no you probably don't.


Kramer, chapter 2 is overdue, breh!

Originally posted by Kram3r
Chapter One: My name is Kram3r, stranger.

It's night time here, in ol' Sydney town. It's a peaceful night -- a peaceful Saturday night. the city is alive with people my age "getting it on" and "sipping back a few" and "giving oral sex" and "barfing on the side walk for the city council cleaners to wash off Sunday morning". Yes, Sydney is a fine woman with breasts like a pregnant Grizzly Bear lactating ever so quietly in the woods. So, the question begs at my feet and yours, fine readers. Why am I here? Well, that's a good question, and one I assume that will be answered in due time.

See, I'm what they call a man. Now, as a man, I have a fine coat of hair that extends from my head to my face to give me a rich, full look. A look that says "Hey, you're alright." and you know what? I am. Oh, but the hair doesn't stop here. The hair grows. It grows around my belly button, where once my mother fed me. The diet wasn't too good, but I admired the hospitality. I also have hair around my genitals, probably not the most ideal place to grow as it covers the full view of my penis but, when I shave, boy am I surprised. It's like mowing the lawn and finding that football that gave you your first touchdown -- Magnificent.

Ever smoked a cigarette? A cigar? Some weed? Or perhaps for those in lower income districts, a crack pipe? Well not me, no. No sir, I'm a clean man. In this game, you've got to keep your wits about you. If you don't, you'll die, and frankly, I don't want to be six feet under with Nonna Dentice who once embarrassed me by wearing her old Ballet outfit. That's a true story. That woman had hands like a Ox. One tug and she could rip your arm off. What I guess I'm trying to express is that, be live O' citizens of New Earth! That saying will ring ever true as I reveal more.
Live long and prosper?

Originally posted by Kram3r
Knowing the pitiful minimum wage Ontario has, you'd be looking in the right places.

$9.50/hr now and $10.25/hr as of March 2010.

Come work for the government. I'll get you in.