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I will make at least 3 more parts.
Interesting, just make sure your final part has starkiller killing sidious.
Thank you. But erm...this is supposed to be canon with the movies. So anyone who's deaths are confirmed in the films don't die in my stories. But I think I may have my final part have him fight Sidious.
This part is very good.
I liked this one far more than your previous attempts, tbh. My only problem is that the Force is rampantly overpowered here; would Vos be able to bring down a building so casually? Also: more in the description of the fight (although this was much improved) can only help.
Thank You. And about what Vos did, well, it was an old abandoned building, only about 2 stories tall. Still, you may have a point. I'll try for the next one.
You didn't tell us that it was old, abandoned or only two stories tall. All of those would have been interesting details. The hardest thing (for me) is to remember that whoever reads what I write has only what I write for guidance; they can only know what I tell them. Even if you know it was unstable, that isn't enough.
Elaborate moar. (I like how I give advice on creative writing when I'm terrible at it. Daniel, take everything I say with a grain of salt.)
Uh...OK I'll try. And sorry about the building thing.
By the way, here's a preview on future parts:
Part 2: Starkiller and Boba Fett work together to kill Mace Windu
Part 3: Starkiller fights Ben Kenboi in the Dune Sea
Part 4: Starkiller chases Luke through Echo Base and fights him
Part 5: Yoda helps Starkiller redeem himself. Starkiller proceeds to reject the Empire and battle a mystery character of my own
Part 6: Starkiller resurfaces after ROTJ and tracks down the last of palpatine's clones
no red, what you say is true. Just think of it that way. Don't be scared to stop in the middle of a fight and give details. If you have a picture in your head of something (which i usually do when i'm writing about it) stop and describe it. how high did he leap over starkiller? was it a flip, or just straight up, straight down? Did he pull the building down in mid-leap? did he land on the other side first? What part of the building did he pull on? yes,what kind of building was it? How did it give way? All at once?
The more questions you answer, and we don't have to worry about, the better. Keep working at it, it just takes practice. The most important thing you can do is re-read your own work though. make sure it is something that YOU think would be interesting to read.
Thank You, I'll do that
Your doing good honestly but just take those guys advice and be a little more descriptive about the enviroment and the fights/situation.
My only question is can starkiller actually speak at all? All i heard were grunts and strange noises from starkiller and i assume its due to the helmet(it bears a striking resemblence to the helmet leia wore in ROTJ and that distorted her voice too).
Oh and if possible, give starkiller a meaningful and cool "Darth" title.
Well, he isn't a Sith. Vader is still alive and there's the rule of two. And Starkiller can talk, I'll show that in the next one
The confrontation with Windu was well written; I went ahead and merged the threads together as continuous 'Starkiller Lives' storyline rather than the parts.
Hey everyone, here you go, part 3 of my "Starkiller Lives" story. Note that from now on, all of my Star Wars stories are going to be in the General Fiction area, so if you want to see the rest of my sequels, go there.
Starkiller appeared before his master once again. He had been told that this assignment was of the utmost importance to the Emperor. Starkiller bowed respectfully before his master.
"Go to the Sith world of Korriban." The Emperor said. "There is a holocron there that I require. You will find it in the ruins of the Sith Academy. Now go."
"Yes, my master." As Starkiller got up to leave, their Emperor called him back.
"My spies have reported that there may be rebel forces attempting to retrieve the holocron as well. If you find them, kill them."
Starkiller hesitated. He didn't want to kill members of the very rebellion he had helped to create.
"Of course, my master."
Starkiller took his TIE Advanced fighter to the valley of the dark lords. The ship touched down. Starkiller was a little taken back by the overwhelming feeling of darkness that swept over him as he set foot on the planet's surface. It was a lot, even for someone like him. Starkiller made his way to the Sith Academy. He sensed the presence of others. There where rebels in there all right. Starkiller readied himself, activated his red lightsaber, and walked in.
Upon entering the academy, he was met with several blaster shots that he barely deflected in time.
"He's here! The Sith Assassin is here!"
Starkiller blasted the rebel soldier back with force lighting. Another soldier, a rodian, attempted to shoot him while he was distracted but his nervousness made him much too slow on the draw. Starkiller spun around and sliced his arm off and then did the same to his head.
"Captain, find the holocron, we'll hold him o---Argh!!"
Starkiller had just finished killing the rebel lieutenant when he saw her. The Rebel Captain ran for it as the two remaining soldiers opened fire on him. Starkiller pushed them back with a force push and sped after the rebel captain. As he ran towards her, he was blasted back. Staggering to his feet, Starkiller saw that he was face to face with Maris Brood.
"I can't let you go any further"
"Don't be a fool. You know you can't take me."
"Doesn't matter. I have to try."
At this, Starkiller sprinted towards her with the aid of the force. Maris threw up her lightsaber tonfas to guard the strike. As Starkiller forced his weight on his saber trying to break Maris's defenses, Maris broke the lock herself. Caught off guard, Starkiller stumbled forward a bit and Maris sliced his lightsaber in two with one tonfa and kicked him back. Starkiller took out his old lightsaber and spun around to meet Maris Brood. Maris ducked the swing and tried to jam her lightsaber tonfas into Starkiller's stomach but Starkiller sidestepped out of the way and kicked Maris Brood to the ground. Maris got up and Starkiller sliced her arm off. Maris screamed, dropped her lightsaber tonfas, and fell on her knees. Starkiller grabbed her face with his steel talons, took a good look at her, and put his lightsaber through her. He let go of her and she collapsed. And yet Starkiller sensed that she was still alive. He left, he wasn't about to take the time to finish her when there was still work to be done. She was out of the picture and that's what mattered.
Then he saw it, up ahead. The Rebel Captain had missed it and had moved on to search the dormitories. But the holocron was there, embedded in one of the pillars. From a distance, it looked like a drawing on the pillar which is probably why the Rebel had missed it. Starkiller moved towards it. As he reached for it, it opened, and the whole room, it seemed, was swallowed in darkness. Starkiller now stood on a platform surrounded in darkness. In the sky where strange aliens that he did not recognize. And directly above him, was the image of a battle-station that reminded Starkiller of the Death Star.
Then he felt a cold presence. One that burned of the Dark Side. Starkiller turned around. There stood a cloaked figure who wore a mask and breastplate over his robes. His cape was a little tattered at the bottom, indicating that this man had seen combat.
"Who are you?" Starkiller asked.
The man spoke, his voice sounded like a snake hissing.
"Peace is a lie. There is only passion.
Through passion I gain strength
Through strength I gain power
Through power I gain victory
Through victory my chains are broken
The force shall free me"
Starkiller recognized that anywhere. It was the code of the Sith. But the way this man spoke it, it was as if he had written it himself.
Suddenly, the man pulled out two lightsabers and activated them, one red and one purple. Starkiller threw up his lightsaber as the man sprinted towards him. He fought with an intense speed that Starkiller had never seen before. From what he could tell, this man was an expert at lightsaber forms 2, 3, and 7. The man made a lightning fast strike at Starkiller's lightsaber arm but Starkiller blocked it. The man took advantage of this and struck one of his legs with a glancing blow. The blow was hardly incapacitating but no doubt uncomfortable. Starkiller retaliated with some strikes of his own but the man effortlessly blocked them and kept up his assault. The man then attempted to strike Starkiller with both of his lightsabers at once. Starkiller blocked the strikes but was forced back and off the platform.
Starkiller landed with a crash. One of his ribs felt broken. He looked up and saw the man he was fighting, his lightsabers lowered, waiting for Starkiller to get back on his feet.
"What do you want?" Starkiller shouted as he staggered to his feet.
The man spoke, in a hissing voice again.
"I have come looking for a foe worthy of my skills. As of late, I am not impressed."
This made Starkiller very angry. He called on the dark side and stood up, his lightsaber ready. The man fired a blast of red force lightning at Starkiller who first blocked it with his lightsaber and finally used it to disperse it. The man lowered his lightsabers and charged Starkiller, spinning them rapidly. Starkiller sidestepped as the man stopped and swung his red lightsaber at him. Starkiller did an upward slash that too the man's mask off. The man turned around so that Starkiller could see his face. It was a terrifying sight to behold.
The man had fairly long brown hair but his skin looked pale and diseased, coursing with the dark side. His eyes where yellow and he bore a scar over one eye as well as several small scars across the right side of his face. He was someone's worst nightmare.
Suddenly, the man let loose with a barrage of red force lightning. Starkiller threw up his lightsaber to block the strike but it still knocked him back and knocked his lightsaber out of his hands. The man walked over to Starkiller and placed his hand on his helmet. Sarkiller suddenly saw a rapid series of images. He saw a young boy be taken to the jedi temple on coruscant. He saw what looked like the man he was fighting battling soldiers in red and blue armor. He saw what was clearly the man he was fighting standing with a tall bald man with a blue lightsaber. He saw the man he was fighting be shot down while fighting Jedi. He saw him fighting alongside a wookie, a young twi'lek, a mandalorian, an elderly Jedi, a combat droid, and a republic soldier. Then he saw him again, along with the a young woman killing almost all of these "allies" and then the bald man, who was now a Sith Lord. Then he and the woman killed the republic soldier and kissed each-other as he lay dead.
Finally, the man removed his hand from Starkiller's helmet.
"Do you now, know who I am?"
Starkiller knew. He just couldn't say anything. He was still taken back by everything he had seen. Revan. His name was Revan. He attempted to plunge his red lightsaber in Starkiller's chest but Starkiller deflected the blow. He leapt in the air, calling on the force that coursed within him. Then he released it in a massive force repulse that knocked Revan back. Revan got back up and Starkiller hit him with an upward slash and then followed with a side-slash. Revan slashed at Starkiller's already damaged leg with one of his lightsabers. It was now all but disconnected. Starkiller retaliated by slicing one of Revan's hands off and then knocking him back with a lightning-infused saber strike. Revan tumbled back, reactivated his red lightsaber, and sprinted towards Starkiller. Starkiller fired a blast of force lightning at Revan but Revan knocked it away with his lightsaber and clashed with Starkiller. Finally, he broke the lock and slashed at Starkiller's shoulder, causing him to drop his lightsaber and fall to his knees.
Revan prepared to finish him. But Starkiller had lured him right into a trap. Quickly drawing Rahm Kota's lightsaber with his unwounded arm, Starkiller blocked Revan's blow. He then called his other lightsaber to him and plunged it in Revan's chest. For a moment, nothing happened. Finally, Revan dropped his lightsaber, which disappeared into shadows. There was a blinding light. Starkiller awoke back in the Sith Academy. The holocron was right next to him. Starkiller grabbed it with his hurt arm. He heard Revan's voice in his head as he touched it.
"My time here has ended. Take what I have given you and use it well...Darth Stalker."
So Revan had declared Starkiller Dark Lord of the Sith. Not exactly what he was expecting. Then he heard something. He zipped around, the Rebel was back, her pistol drawn and ready. Now that she was facing him, Starkiller could get a good look at her, and he couldn't believe who it was.
Juno Eclipse, former Imperial Pilot and now Rebel Captain, had been sent to Korriban to retrieve a Sith Holocron but a Sith Assassin had intercepted her squad and killed them all, including Mariss Brood. From the way he moved and the moves he used...Juno had her suspicions on who he was, but she just didn't want to believe it. But now he had said her name..and he hadn't killed yet. She knew who he was.
Meanwhile, Starkiller was also dealing with the shock of seeing Juno again. The last time he had seen her...Starkiller remembered holding he in his arms, his lips touching hers...Starkiller was yanked out of his pleasant memories by a voice in his head. It was Revans.
"Kill her. Or convince her join you. Do not just sit there and do nothing"
Starkiller turned to Juno.
Starkiller broke off. He didn't know what to say. What could he say? He had gone right back to being a servant of the Dark Side, and had just killed several members of the rebellion he had helped to create, including a Jedi he had helped redeem. He could barely look Juno in the eye.
"Galen...what happened to you?"
"I...survived. Vader and the Emperor rebuilt me. I...have to serve them now. I don't have a choice. It's up to you now, Juno. You and Kota. You have to end this."
"Galen..." Juno hesitated. Starkiller could see her crying.
"...Kota is dead."
Starkiller was dumbstruck. At first he wasn't sure he heard her right. But then he realized that he had. Starkiller stood frozen in place, staring into space. His master, his friend, was gone.
"He was killed by one the Emperor's servants. His name was Jerec."
Jerec. Starkiller had heard of him. He was a former Jedi, now he served the Emperor as his high inquisitor. Starkiller entertained the idea of hunting him down and taking his head right off, but decided against it. The Emperor would kill him for such an act and Starkiller wasn't entirely sure that it's what Kota would have wanted either...
"Juno..I'm sorry. I didn't want this!"
"Then why are you working for them!? Why did you kill all of those people?"
"I didn't have a choice!"
"We always have a choice Galen" There was a lot of pain in Juno's voice.
Starkiller could hear Revan's voice in his head
"She will never join you. You must kill her."
Starkiller ignored him. He walked towards Juno. She raised her pistol at him. Starkiller stopped.
"Juno please. I've already had to kill three Jedi, including one I knew. Please don't force me to kill you too, I lo--...."
Starkiller stopped before he could finish. He wasn't sure he should say it. Juno kept her pistol raised.
"I'm here for the Holocron Galen. I'm not leaving without it."
Starkiller didn't say anything. He walked closer to Juno. She kept her pistol raised at first, but soon found herself moving closer to him. Starkiller took his helmet off....
And the memories of their last moment together came back as their lips met. Starkiller held her close to him, his steel talons cutting her somewhat. She didn't complain about the pain. She didn't feel it. Suddenly, they broke the kiss. Starkiller sensed a dark presence approaching. He knew immediately who it was, and what he would do if he found Juno.
"I'm sorry Juno."
Starkiller blasted Juno back with a force push and brought some rubble down to create the illusion that he had killed her. Then the dark presence drew closer. It was his old master, Darth Vader.
"Do you have the holocron?" Vader asked, cold and emotionless as always. Starkiller had never seen him any other way.
"Yes, I do."
"Then there is no reason to stay here. Come"
Starkiller looked back at where he blasted Juno back. He sensed that she was still alive. And with that, he and Vader left the Sith Academy as Juno watched from afar. She saw that Starkiller was still the man she once knew. And she knew what she was going to do. She was going to bring him back. No matter what.
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