Things Bleach Characters Will Never Say

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Nemesis X
Post something characters from Bleach would never say in their entire lives.

King Kandy
Ichigo: Damn, I really needed a spontaneous plot device and it didn't happen.

Demonic Phoenix
Ikkaku: I'm bald.

Nemesis X
Hitsugaya: I'm a gay midget.

Yumichica: I look like a drag queen.

Matsumoto: I think I'll go sober from now on.

Orihime: My cooking sucks!

Yoruichi: Where's my friggin Meow Mix?

Kero_Co
Aizen: "I came here with a simple dream. A dream of killing all humans. And this is how it must end? "

XanatosForever
Orihime: "Damn it, Ichigo! Shut up and kiss me!"

Quincy
dug the futurama-ness

jinzin
Ichigo: "Hey Byakuya, wanna see my "Bankai"?"

B: "That's your Bankai? But it's so small"


Ichi: "Hey it's not the size that matters, it' how you use it!"


Oh wait they pretty much DID say that. erm

Nemesis X
Soi Fon: "Yoruichi-sama would you like to be my valentine?"

Yoruichi: "Sure. I always thought of you as an interesting boyfriend."

Soi Fon: "I'm a woman!"

Yoruichi: "Oh...Well...This is awkward."

Nemesis X
Aizen: Hey Gin, I've been meaning to ask you, why do you squint all the time?

Gin: Well sir...

In Gin's childhood
Hitsugaya: Hey Gin, I dare you to put glue on your eyelids.

Gin: 'Kay.

Back in the present
Gin: And that's why I look squinty. I'm even lucky that I can see a little but sometimes I don't.

Aizen: Can you see now?

Gin: No.

Aizen: *kicks Gin in the groin*

Gin: Ow...

Aizen: Dumbass.

wakkawakkawakka
I got this from Aqua Teen Hunger Force(handbanana)

Orihime: Tonight you!

Ichigo: Uhh...

Orihime: I'm gonna rape you!

Ichigo: Oh God no!

Stealth
Kon: Nee-san, cover up more. Please.

Solon
Byakuya: HA!

Hitsugaya: That's it! I'm going to do something about Kurosaki not calling me CAPTAIN Hitsugaya!
Matsumoto: Sir there's... there's nothing you can do about it.
Hitsugaya: ...I... I guess you're right. I guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humour...

Yammy: Ulquiorra! What does the scouter say about his spiritual pressure?!
Ulquiorra: IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!
Yammy: WHAT, NINE THOUSAND?!
(Couldn't resist on the last one. Apologies. D=)

Nemesis X
Nemu: I'm an emo who has a clown-like soul reaper for a dad. Kill me.

KingD19
Ichigo: I love you dad.

Captain Commander Genryusai: Good job everyone, I'm proud of you.

Rukia: Shut up nii-sama(Byakuya)

Nemesis X
Naota: I was supposed to be a librarian but for some reason I'm a lieutenant. How did this happen?

Nel: I get kicked out of Los Noches, stuck being a kid, and have to hang out with these three stooges for the rest of my life? Screw you, Tite Kubo.

Hitsugaya: Yamammoto, if you give me paperwork one more time, I'm gonna shove them where the sun don't shine. Hear me, you old fart?

Kenpachi Zaraki: I don't want to fight anymore.

Endless Mike
Aizen: Wow, I actually did not have a plan for that.

Nemesis X
Ichigo: Hey Toshiro...

Hitsugaya: DON'T CALL ME THAT! What do you wnat anyways?

Ichigo: Are you sure you're not a kid?

Hitsugaya: Yes, I'm sure.

Ichigo: So if you deny being a kid, are you going to admit being a midget then?

Hitsugaya: I'm not a midget!

Ichigo: You're small, you say you aren't a kid, and you say you aren't a midget. Look dude, it's either one. Either admit being a sugar craving kindergartner or admit being a dwarf, it's your choice.

Hitsugaya:......................................................................

Evilbigfoot
Originally posted by Endless Mike
Aizen: Wow, I actually did not have a plan for that.

laughing out loud

the ninjak
Rukia- Ichigo I've been sleeping in your bedroom for a while now let's skip school tomorrow, get really drunk and do it!

Ichigo- Think we can get Inoue in this!

Rukia- Sure!

10 mins later Inoue runs in panting.

Inoue- Lets do it!

Nemesis X
Hitsugaya: Screw the paperwork, let's go out drinking with the guys!

Isane: Captain Unohana, Sajin needs an operation!
Unohana: I'm a doctor, not a vet.

Nephthys
'Wow, awesome plan Gin!'

Nemesis X
Everyone - Who's that Pokemon? It's Butterfr--Oh wait, nope. It's just Aizen.

amnesia
Ukitake; I'm not a pedophile

Nephthys
Rangiku: 'Uh, yeah, me neither.' shifty

amnesia
Tite Kubo: The end

menokokoro
Ichigo: ok cool, we will train for 3 months, giving aizen free reign for an hour...he isn't fast or powerful enough to finish his objective in an hour is he?

Astner
Aizen: What happen here?

XanatosForever
Yamamoto: "These flames will end your terror once and for all, Sosuke Aizen. These flames...of love."

Omega Vision
Ichigo to any character: "Let's have sex!"

wakkawakkawakka
Byakuya: Screw the rules I have money!

Hinamori: **** you Aizen!
Aizen: Oh Right!

FinalAnswer
Aizen: YOU DEFEATED ME D=

XanatosForever
Kubo: "I can't believe I wrote this piece of crap."


Oh wait, Bleach Characters...131

King Kandy
Aizen: Wow, that took me totally off guard.

Nemesis X
Yoruichi: Goofing off is for pussies.
Ichigo: Oh the irony.

Nemesis X
Yoruichi: Soi Fon, I don't think this relationship will work ou--*Soi Fon dumps catnip all over herself* CATNIP eek!! *jumps on Soi Fon*

Harribel: Why is my jacket so small, it's showing half of my cleavage? Damn it girls, when you do laundry for me, read the frickin labels before you throw them in! Now I'm gonna be cold through the rest of the arc mad

Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.