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Who wins?

Aunt May------>g-asskick<------Alfred


Any questions? crackers

Originally posted by Galan007
Aunt May------>g-asskick<------Alfred


Any questions? crackers
Yes: at what point does Aunt May fall under Alfred's Michael Caine-esque Charms?

Right before she gets punched in the mouth. uhuh

Originally posted by Galan007
Right before she gets punched in the mouth. uhuh
And after he's done beating her he uses his 1337 medic skills to fix her up. And beats her again. Rinse and repeat.

iirc, Alfred actually has combat training...

Originally posted by Original Smurph
iirc, Alfred actually has combat training...
Yeah he disarmed and incapacitated Hush disguised as Bruce Wayne IIRC.

Originally posted by Omega Vision
Yeah he disarmed and incapacitated Hush disguised as Bruce Wayne IIRC. I believe he also defeated Prometheus, the imposter one at least.

I think Aunt May once drugged somebody pretending to be Peter...

Originally posted by Original Smurph
I think Aunt May once drugged somebody pretending to be Peter...

Chameleon.

Uncle Ben is dead. May and Alfred get it on, so its a tie 5/5 win win for both.

Originally posted by The Nuul
Uncle Ben is dead. May and Alfred get it on, so its a tie 5/5 win win for both.
The thing is I can actually see that happening. Peter gets a new Uncle. One with lots of class who doesn't keep reminding him about responsibility and shit.

Aunt May is a herald of Galactus

Originally posted by Omega Vision
The thing is I can actually see that happening. Peter gets a new Uncle. One with lots of class who doesn't keep reminding him about responsibility and shit. Maybe he and Batman would team up and invent some crazy sh!t togteher

Originally posted by Parmaniac
Aunt May is a herald of Galactus
She isn't the Golden Oldie in this scenario. Though the rolling pin may or may not be made of Secondary Adamantium.

Originally posted by Parmaniac
Maybe he and Batman would team up and invent some crazy sh!t togteher
Batman could probably make some awesome improvements to the web-shooters. Maybe lace some webs with kryptonite dust in case he ever needs help taking down a compromised Superman.

Originally posted by Omega Vision
The thing is I can actually see that happening. Peter gets a new Uncle. One with lots of class who doesn't keep reminding him about responsibility and shit.

Isn't May with Jameson's father now? They had sex in one issue

Originally posted by Omega Vision
Batman could probably make some awesome improvements to the web-shooters. Maybe lace some webs with kryptonite dust in case he ever needs help taking down a compromised Superman. I think Pete could do that pretty easy alone with Batmans resources if it comes to inventing stuff he's pretty good he only lacks resources, but of course he's not Batman level. But really I think they would build a good team, both are no killers and both started fighting crime cause of a great loss in the past.

Originally posted by StiltmanFTW
Isn't May with Jameson's father now? They had sex in one issue It's retconned that was Wolverine

Originally posted by Parmaniac
I think Pete could do that pretty easy alone with Batmans resources if it comes to inventing stuff he's pretty good he only lacks resources, but of course he's not Batman level. But really I think they would build a good team, both are no killers and both started fighting crime cause of a great loss in the past.
I would love to have a chance of writing a Spider-Man-Batman team up comic. They're opposites in a way: Spidey is a kid who kinda got lucky and recieved his powers whereas Batman worked hard to get where he is but at the end of the day they're both great heroes who fight the good fight with everything they have. Parker is pretty smart, nowhere near Batman of course but still quite smart.

Originally posted by Parmaniac
It's retconned that was Peter

Good God.

pABkWuQ6g3o

I guess you're the guy in the back right? (After the actual video)

Nope.

lets see, may took on chameleon, volture, pwned logan and spider-man, took on a super skrull that owned avengers, fought galactus, survived being burried alive for a month, snipershots and several heart attacks. Yeah... Tough call...

I love Alfred, dearly, and he is a better support character than May...

....

... but May will WTF kick-his-ass, and use the rolling pin afterwards to roll dough for cookies and pastries for Peter and his friends...

... the blood on the pin just adds flavor to the mix...

Alfred Pennyworth