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Starring: Mads Mikkelsen, Gary Lewis, Jamie Sives, Ewan Stewart, Alexander Morton, Andrew Flanagan, Gary McCormack, Gordon Brown

Plot Summary: "Valhalla Rising" tells the story of One-Eye, a mute warrior of supernatural strength, who has been held prisoner by the chieftain Barde for many years. Aided by a boy, Are, he kills his captor and together they escape, beginning a journey into the heart of darkness

Release Date: April, 2010 (limited)


trailer
http://www.comingsoon.net/news/videonews.php?id=62757

That looks utterly horrendous.

Looks shit, I wouldn't even download it

perhaps not even ppv

Looks good. I'll definitely rent this.

Ugh, love the setting, have a thing for Vikings. But pure shit, this will be.

Likely only watch it, if I can see it for free and I have a lazy weekend to do so.

It might even be worse than Pathfinder.

I didn't think that'd be possible.

Just from the trailer, it won't be that bad, imo.

Still sucks, as there hasn't been a good Viking movie since Erik The Viking; that was comedy.

Originally posted by Robtard
Ugh, love the setting, have a thing for Vikings.

do you have your wife dress up as one for your birthday?

Originally posted by Ms.Marvel
do you have your wife dress up as one for your birthday?

Hell yeah, she even wears a fake beard.

Didn't think she needed one.

badum-tsshhh.

Job requires she shave daily.

I know someone who's helped with the screening for this at the Toronto Film Festival. She said the movie was INSANE - in a good way, perhaps.

Originally posted by roughrider
I know someone who's helped with the screening for this at the Toronto Film Festival. She said the movie was INSANE - in a good way, perhaps.

Does she think the Twilight series is good?

Ugh, twilight...the worst thing ever!

Saw this film.

Was good.

I gave it a 6-7...can't decide if it should be a 6 or a 7 because I could justify either score just as easily.


Really really good at parts and then it "tried too hard" at others.


Also, I think they did a "veiled" buttrape scene and it made me lol.


they could have made this movie about 45 minutes long if they would have cut out that slow mo portions.


This movie is definitely not shit and is worth a watch...but it would not be worth going to the theater for, imo.

I did not like the ending.


It would have been excellent writing if One-Eye was actually a Native American and act V explored that and explained that One-Eye was actually going back home. I was thinking (when the Act V flashed on the screen with the title "Hell", "Holy shit, wow: that would be excellent writing if they tied in the whole "One-Eye is from hell*" aspect and then this whole thing would fall into place, One-Eye would be vindicated/reach his peace/explain why he wouldn't talk or was a mute (because that would mean he spoke a different language)/and bring peace to the boy that seemed like he cared.

But, nooooooo, it had to be one of those that tried too hard and wanted to go for an "artsy" ending.


If the writer/director spent more time trying to tell a better story instead of winning a Sundance film award, it would have been much better.

*That's because the Vikings said he was from Hell and many of them said that the land they landed in was "Hell." It was almost a no brainier...but I think that that might have been an abanded plot or something because it seemed to fit together much too nicely.

Still, it was good enough to watch one boring weekend. I recomend you watch it, Robtard. You might get slight entertainment or enjoy some of the "acurate" depictions such as drinking salt water.

"Veiled buttrape"? Did you watch a censored version, cos the one I saw had a butt-rape clear as day.

While I did enjoy some aspects of the film, it wasn't good overall. Tried to be an art-house-esque film; they threw in action and gore, just didn't gel well together.

Originally posted by Robtard
"Veiled buttrape"? Did you watch a censored version, cos the one I saw had a butt-rape clear as day.

While I did enjoy some aspects of the film, it wasn't good overall. Tried to be an art-house-esque film; they threw in action and gore, just didn't gel well together.

I did not see butt-rape clear as day. It showed some "artsy" slow-mo shots of a dude getting his face pushed into the mud, but nothing revealing that butt-rape was taking place. An adult mind is supposed to fill in the gaps but it was definitely "veiled buttrape."



I thought the film was much better than it was going to be.

Originally posted by Robtard
"Veiled buttrape"? Did you watch a censored version, cos the one I saw had a butt-rape clear as day.

While I did enjoy some aspects of the film, it wasn't good overall. Tried to be an art-house-esque film; they threw in action and gore, just didn't gel well together. Which version did you send me?

So it's not a viking wearing a veil...butt-raping.

That would've been artsy.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Which version did you send me?




So you want to see a little Viking buttrape or something?

Originally posted by Esau Cairn
So it's not a viking wearing a veil...butt-raping.

That would've been artsy.

Or more like kinky porn?

Call it Scat, Bestiality or Golden Showers...
I say, "Darling can we be artsy tonight?"

Man, I remember looking forward to this when I saw the trailer months ago. But I watched it and thought it was extremely boring and damn near impossible to make sense out of. I remember falling asleep during it. I just didn't get it. I don't even remember a butt-raping scene. Shit.. i must have fallen asleep during the best part. : /