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Every character Jean-Claude Van Damme has played (with gear) lays siege on Hogwarts:

Goal: Assassinate all the wizards inside, young and old, male and female.

Rules:

-Van Dammes get 42 minutes prep to sneak about, survey and position themselves outside of Hogwarts.

-Dementors can not be called in (invisibility and all, would be spite)

-That age spell or spell that stops trespassers isn't in play

-The spell that stops electrical equipment from working isn't in play

-Spell which locates anyone of the premise isn't in play

-Wizards are unaware this is happening until the 42 mins are up.

Can team Van Damage pull it off?

If not, how close can they come?

Edit: Damme it! Will request a move.

Wrong forum, spic.

His Universal Soldier will do tons of damage.

Question. This:

-Van Dammes get 42 minutes prep to sneak about, survey and position themselves outside of Hogwarts.

You mean they can scout Hogwarts from the outside, but then they must go inside to attack?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Question. This:

-Van Dammes get 42 minutes prep to sneak about, survey and position themselves outside of Hogwarts.

You mean they can scout Hogwarts from the outside, but then they must go inside to attack?

They have to kill all the wizards, so unless all the wizards make a habit of constantly frolicking about the grounds (wouldn't surprise me), yes, they'd likely have to infiltrate the premises.

Also, what does VD team know of wizard powers?

Anything that Timecop learns about what they will do that day from having known of the outcome..

Also Timecop detonates the massive H bomb he buried under Hogwarts 2,000 years before it was constructed.

Originally posted by Robtard
They have to kill all the wizards, so unless all the wizards make a habit of constantly frolicking about the grounds (wouldn't surprise me), yes, they'd likely have to infiltrate the premises.

Coupla things:

What time of the day is it? Are they all asleep? In class?

What can team VD possibly learn about the inside of the castle from the outside?

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Anything that Timecop learns about what they will do that day from having known of the outcome.. But muggles are not aware of wizards, and totally not aware of Hogwarts and it's layout.

They will be aware once the brothers from Double Impact complete their recon, just before the detonation.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth


Also Timecop detonates the massive H bomb he buried under Hogwarts 2,000 years before it was constructed. Muggles cannot see Hogwarts. How's he gonna know where to bury it?

And this:

-Wizards are unaware this is happening until the 42 mins are up.

Not possible. The paintings would alert Dumbledore of team VD's presence right away.

Recon, Dude. Recon.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
They will be aware once the brothers from Double Impact complete their recon, just before the detonation.

And how do the brothers do this, exactly? Paintings, ghosts in paintings, Hogwarts ghosts and shit, they will see them and alert the wizards.

How do they get past the forbidden forest? The centaurs?

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Recon, Dude. Recon. Paintings, dude, ghosts, centaurs.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Muggles cannot see Hogwarts. How's he gonna know where to bury it?

And this:

-Wizards are unaware this is happening until the 42 mins are up.

Not possible. The paintings would alert Dumbledore of team VD's presence right away.

The same way they knew where to find it in this thread....duhhhh!

The paintings you speak of wouldnt be there for another 2,000 years.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Paintings, dude, ghosts, centaurs.

A) Roundhouse, punch to throat, he aint 'fraid of no ghosts, tears their nuts off then does the trademark Van Damme splits.

B) Negated four dimensionally by Timecop, possibly excluding the ghosts.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
The same way they knew where to find it in this thread....duhhhh!

The paintings you speak of wouldnt be there for another 2,000 years. So basically you think Timecop will bury a bomb under Hogwarts 2000 years prior, right? Even though he was never shown travelling back that far in time? Even though there is no power source that would be preserved for the 2000 years?


Too many holes, dude.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Roundhouse, punch to throat, he aint 'fraid of no ghosts, tears their nuts off then does the trademark Van Damme splits. Wouldn't work against ghosts. They alert Dumbledore, he apparates behind each in turn, and incapacitates them.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
So basically you think Timecop will bury a bomb under Hogwarts 2000 years prior, right? Even though he was never shown travelling back that far in time? Even though there is no power source that would be preserved for the 2000 years?


Too many holes, dude.

He was shown going far enough. And there was anecdotal evidence onscreen suggesting that the scope for travel is without limit.

Ahhhhhh based on TODAY'S hydrogen bomb technology, maybe....


Not as many as there are in the logic and science of Wizard magic.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Wouldn't work against ghosts. They alert Dumbledore, he apparates behind each in turn, and incapacitates them.

They cany incapacitate them without being solid enough to affect with say a roundhouse to the nuts then some splits.

But they only have to survive long enough to press the button, anyhow.

Which they do.



Boom.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Anything that Timecop learns about what they will do that day from having known of the outcome..

Also Timecop detonates the massive H bomb he buried under Hogwarts 2,000 years before it was constructed.


Lol, good show. Forgot about Timecop.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
He was shown going far enough. And there was anecdotal evidence onscreen suggesting that the scope for travel is without limit.

Ahhhhhh based on TODAYS hydrogen bomb technology, maybe....


Not as many as there are in the logic and science of Wizard magic. But thats the thing, magic does not rely on batteries or electrical power. Bombs do.

And how does the time travel machine (just big enough for two people) transport said bomb? Strap it to the hood?

Doesn't really matter, Timecop was never shown traveling back that far. We can only uses feats shown, we can't take a feat and escalate it tenfold.

Hogwarts was founded in the 9th/10th century.

TODAYS bombs..... sure.

Tommorrows bombs'd be much smaller, as everything is in the future.
Should go in the passenger seat.
One operator can ride it......Remember its for bringing prisoners back in too so the second seat is free.

Welll in that case, Harry never used half the speels you say he does.

Great it was destroyed in the 21st.

Farthest in time VD ever traveled was October 30, 1929, Timecop was set in the year 2004. The farthest Timecop can travel back in time is 75 years.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
TODAYS bombs..... sure.

Tommorrows bombs'd be much smaller, as everything is in the future.
Should go in the passenger seat.
One operator can ride it......Remember its for bringing prisoners back in too so the second seat is free.

Welll in that case, Harry never used half the speels you say he does.

Great it was destroyed in the 21st.


Timecop is set in 2004.

So YOU say. I think thats for the threadstarter to decide...he may go by what was established in the movie...

The machines capabilities are what they are...
Do you really think that the Delorean in BTTF could only go back to the wild west? LOLZ RJ

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
TODAYS bombs..... sure.

Tommorrows bombs'd be much smaller, as everything is in the future.
Should go in the passenger seat.
Sorry, were there any bombs like this in Timecop? Capable of destroying the castle and everyone inside? Was Timecop ever shown USING one?

No.

Therefore he cannot use one. Only weapons he was shown using, please.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Timecop is set in 2004.

Its time travelllers...they're set whenever the fu*k they're like..!!!!!! lolz

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
So YOU say. I think thats for the threadstarter to decide...he may go by what was established in the movie...

The machines capabilities are what they are...
Do you really think that the Delorean in BTTF could only go back to the wild west? LOLZ RJ So I say? haermm

OK fine, All wizards can cast fiendfyre, all can half apparate!!!


BTW, a protego charm was shown keeping death eaters out. Should do well against bullets.

Aren't there some people who give Wizards spells they were never shown using, and saying because they thought about it, or they're a wizard, they can do it?

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Its time travelllers...they're set whenever the fu*k they're like..!!!!!! lolz Sorry, TEC time travel is restricted to what was shown in the movies. It's a screen feat. You can't take a screen feat and blow it out of proportion.

Originally posted by KingD19
Aren't there some people who give Wizards spells they were never shown using, and saying because they thought about it, or they're a wizard, they can do it? I'm perfectly content sticking to screen feats.

Dumbledore cannot half apparate.

Only Hermione can cast Oppugno.

Only Ginny can cast Reducto.


Why? Cuz that's what is shown.


Also, Saesee Tinn was never shown using force push, you saying Sassee cant?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Sorry, were there any bombs like this in Timecop? Capable of destroying the castle and everyone inside? Was Timecop ever shown USING one?

No.

Therefore he cannot use one. Only weapons he was shown using, please.

OK Harry's posse can only affect characters from the VD universe that he has been shown defeating before onscreen....fair enough...?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Sorry, TEC time travel is restricted to what was shown in the movies. It's a screen feat. You can't take a screen feat and blow it out of proportion.

But likewise: Its a screenfeat: Therefore you cant gimp it.

Time travel is what it is RJ.
Cant limit it once begun.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
OK Harry's posse can only affect characters from the VD universe that he has been shown defeating before onscreen....fair enough...? haermm Jackass.

Fact is, Timecop was never shown using a big ass bomb, it's not in his weaponry. Therefore he can't use it here. You might as well try and give him a star destroyer.




FTW:

http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Shield_Charm


The Shield Charm is a charm that creates an magical barrier which deflects minor to moderate hexes as well as physical objects.

Bullets=Physical objects.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
But likewise: Its a screenfeat: Therefore you cant gimp it.

Time travel is what it is RJ.
Cant limit it once begun. Not my call, it's Robs. If he wants to assume TEC can travel back that far, then fine, but he knows it to be wrong.

Edit, there was the civil was scene at the beginning, so time travel in Timecop is limited to maybe 1860. 145 years.

You call a bullet a minor physical object?

Other Van Dammes use big bombs. Universal Soldier probably does.

Ahhhhh but timecop Would know when the charm was gonna be implented, accounted for it, and planned a way round it. In this case, it would likely be swapping the spellbook with a harmless cookbook, or putting a bullet through the scrotum of the wizard who was due to say it, rendering them utterly unable to "Raise shields" (Or anything else, for that matter) .

Anti ballbag temporal magic-repellant therapy, its called.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Not my call, it's Robs. If he wants to assume TEC can travel back that far, then fine, but he knows it to be wrong.

Edit, there was the civil was scene at the beginning, so time travel in Timecop is limited to maybe 1860. 145 years.

Erm...Why would he know it to be wrong, if its a capability..?

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Erm...Why would he know it to be wrong, if its a capability..? TEC tech was shown travelling back to a certain point in time. As far as we know, that's as far as they can travel..

Let's drop it, let Rob make the call.


Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Other Van Dammes use big bombs. Universal Soldier probably does.

Ahhhhh but timecop Would know when the charm was gonna be implented, accounted for it, and planned a way round it. In this case, it would likely be swapping the spellbook with a harmless cookbook, or putting a bullet through the scrotum of the wizard who was due to say it, rendering them utterly unable to "Raise shields" (Or anything else, for that matter) .

Anti ballbag temporal magic-repellant therapy, its called. Nothing as big as what you are describing. Wait, are we swapping weaponry now? This from the man who once tole me Harry giving Voldy his invisibility cloak was against forum rules?

Originally posted by KingD19
You call a bullet a minor physical object? Moderate hexes AS WELL as physical objects.The "moderate" is attached to the first part.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Moderate hexes AS WELL as physical objects.The "moderate" is attached to the first part.

Correct me if I'm wrong...but don't bullets break the speed barrier?

So you're telling me, a solid metal projectile that travels thousands of feet per second, is a minor to moderate physical object that can be blocked by a Protego? Even though it was never shown blocking a bullet?

Originally posted by KingD19
Correct me if I'm wrong...but don't bullets break the speed barrier?

So you're telling me, a solid metal projectile that travels thousands of feet per second, is a minor to moderate physical object that can be blocked by a Protego? Even though it was never shown blocking a bullet? Again, the "moderate" is implied on hexes.

Is a bullet ever shown breeching a protego? HA!!!

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Again, the "moderate" is implied on hexes.

Is a bullet ever shown breeching a protego? HA!!!

No, but bullets have pierced things obviously more durable than a Protego.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
A) Roundhouse, punch to throat, he aint 'fraid of no ghosts, tears their nuts off then does the trademark Van Damme splits.

B) Negated four dimensionally by Timecop, possibly excluding the ghosts.


Now how the hell is Nearly Headless Nick supposed to have babies when his other head is torn off?

How dare you....think of the children....made with invisible weenarz.

Originally posted by KingD19
No, but bullets have pierced things obviously more durable than a Protego. Add to that? Pretty vague.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Add to that? Pretty vague.

Stone

Multiple metals

etc...

And over pretty decent distances, if you aim a gun at a wizard and fire(and they've never seen guns), they won't know what to do.

So if someone is flying over Hogwarts and lets loose with a glock, the bullets go through?

They're gonna be inside Hogwarts during the battle, that's the stips of the thread.

So when they point and squeeze the trigger, Wizards are gonna fall over.

haermm That simple, eh? Protego can be cast with a wand, dude. And wizards can do that thing where they disappear. This is crazy, why are we even discussing this?

OK I gotta get this off my chest.

First of all, there is a spell cast around Hogwarts that prevents electrical equipment from working properly. Oh wait, that's been taken away from the wizards.

Marauders map, it can be used to see where every VD is. Oh wait, that spell has been taken away......WAIT A MINUTE, that aint a spell!!! The Marauders map is a map, NOT a spell. So yeah, the marauders map is in play here.

Now, having said that, there are far too many things that can go wrong for team VD. All it takes is one of them to be detected and it's all over. It's not like they are all ninja, they don't all possess great stealth. Example? Alain and Mikhail from Maximum Risk, and Chris Dubois from the Quest. Dude from Legionnare and from Nowhere to Run, same thing. One of them are surely detected and it's all over.

Filch and his cat know Hogwarts like the back of their hand, surely they will be on patrol, ever think of that?

And the paintings. No way in hell does team VD get past the paintings. The paintings WILL see them, and they WILL alert Dumbledore.

Same with the ghosts.


And the OP says they are examining Hogwarts from the outside, what the hell can they learn about the layout from the outside? What if they wander onto the forbidden floor?

And Mconogall, she can vanish them with one spell. She can take on the form of a cat too.




And no, Timecop cannot use any weapons he was never shown using, so ixnay on the bomb.


There's really no way team VD wins here.

Yeah, Protego can be cast with a wand, and a spoken word, and a twirl of the wrist. A bullet can be fired with a squeeze of a trigger. And you can't apparate before you get hit with a bullet, they travel thousands of feet per second, meaning that if someone points and pulls the trigger, when you hear the BANG, you've already been shot. And considering wizards get hit with all types of spells that are much slower than bullets, they ain't dodging any of them.

I think I remember you saying that apparation takes somewhere around half a second. Well by the time you try to apparate, you've been shot, and you died.

On top of that, a large majority of the wizards at Hogwarts are students, meaning that a large majority can't apparate, and there are only a few who can. And don't say every wizard of a certain level can do it, because that's not true. Every wizard of a certain level isn't automatically an Animagus, so not everyone can apparate.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi

There's really no way team VD wins here.

How they gonna **** with this?!

http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/hardtarget-snake.jpg

And that's just one Van Damme of team Van Damage.

Originally posted by KingD19
Yeah, Protego can be cast with a wand, and a spoken word, and a twirl of the wrist. A bullet can be fired with a squeeze of a trigger. And you can't apparate before you get hit with a bullet, they travel thousands of feet per second, meaning that if someone points and pulls the trigger, when you hear the BANG, you've already been shot. And considering wizards get hit with all types of spells that are much slower than bullets, they ain't dodging any of them.

I think I remember you saying that apparation takes somewhere around half a second. Well by the time you try to apparate, you've been shot, and you died.

On top of that, a large majority of the wizards at Hogwarts are students, meaning that a large majority can't apparate, and there are only a few who can. And don't say every wizard of a certain level can do it, because that's not true. Every wizard of a certain level isn't automatically an Animagus, so not everyone can apparate.

Protego horriblis, dude, look it up.

We're talking about thousands of wizards, students and faculty alike.

Tell me, when team VD is detected (and they will be detected right away, LOL at Chad Wagner stumbling around in pink leotards), what do you see happening?

Originally posted by Robtard
How they gonna **** with this?!

http://unrealitymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/hardtarget-snake.jpg

And that's just one Van Damme of team Van Damage. You really woulda done better to leave this to GL44 and Boudreaux.

Thousands of Wizards were shown? Really?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
You really woulda done better to leave this to GL44 and Boudreaux.

Dude, put down your fanboysim and you'd see team Van Damage is likely to pull this off.

-There's a shit load of them

-They all have at least a handgun. Many have greater.

-They have a diverse set of skills, ranging from Fire Marshall to Super-Soldier.

-They all can let out an epic kick while making a stupid face

Originally posted by Robtard
Thousands of Wizards were shown? Really?

Yeah, see, you have to watch the movies. Students and faculty alike.

Originally posted by Robtard
Dude, put down your fanboysim and you'd see team Van Damage is likely to pull this off.

-There's a shit load of them

-They all have at least a handgun. Many have greater.

-They have a diverse set of skills, ranging from Fire Marshall to Super-Soldier.

-They all can let out an epic kick while making a stupid face

They're likely to do some Van dammage, but pull it off? Kill every wizard in Hogwarts? Get real, man. This isn't some run of the mill building packed with insurgents, it's a magical castle with magical protection and enchantments, man.

Hogwarts, even gimped as you placed them, kills every single VD.

Paintings that will see team VD right away and warn Dumbledore.

Ghosts that are all over Hogwarts 24/7, that will do the same.

Harrys invisibility cloak, doooooooooooh.

Deluminator. Dumbles used it to darken an entire street.

Two words: Felix Felicis.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Yeah, see, you have to watch the movies. Students and faculty alike.

I've seen them and while I watched them in daze of boredom, I don't recall seeing thousands. Even in OOTP when the other schools came to Hoqwarts, I didn't see thousands.

I'm going to need confirmation for reliable source. Neph seems to know his Potter well, as does DDM. I was thinking a couple of hundred, mostly students.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Paintings that will see team VD right away and warn Dumbledore.

Ghosts that are all over Hogwarts 24/7, that will do the same.

Harrys invisibility cloak, doooooooooooh.

Deluminator. Dumbles used it to darken an entire street.

Two words: Felix Felicis.

Dumbledore will be trouble, no doubt, but even the lamest of Van Dammes can kill him via bullet to the face.

Look at the stands, Rob:

WIHazaJ2hI4

JYsWhf-FKOI&feature=related


JK Rowling said in an interview that there were thousands of students.


Another thing to think about....you said:

-Van Dammes get 42 minutes prep to sneak about, survey and position themselves outside of Hogwarts.

and then

-Wizards are unaware this is happening until the 42 mins are up.

That means that once team VD has done their little surveying thing, the wizards are aware of their presence.

Also, team VD will have no idea what's inside Hogwarts. There are many floors, passages, there are staircases that move around as they please. There are paintings and ghosts that will see every move team VD makes. Team VD will be spread thin, and they will have no idea what's around each corner. The wizards know the castle, they know where each passage and staircase leads.


Way I see it, Dumbledore dons Harrys cloak, sips the felix felicis, and solos here.

And not one of those crowds is shown in a combative form onscreen.

Ergo, by the golden rule you champion so readily RJ, they cannot fight.

Most will have been destroyed in the bomb explosion anyway.

Nah, Timecop never used a bomb, therefore he cannot use one here.

The students can cast spells, jacko.

You guys are overlooking the complexity of the layout of Hogwarts. Team VD will most likely spend half their time trying to figure out how they got lost.

Also, team VD will have no idea what's inside Hogwarts. There are many floors, passages, there are staircases that move around as they please. There are paintings and ghosts that will see every move team VD makes. Team VD will be spread thin, and they will have no idea what's around each corner. The wizards know the castle, they know where each passage and staircase leads.

And this:

Way I see it, Dumbledore dons Harrys cloak, sips the felix felicis, and solos here.

Ah....but Timecop foresaw this difficulty of the lasting power cell problem and planted 8 tonnes of C4 under hogwarts instead.

Youre a wizard.. not a Time traveller. So "wiz".

(Not that it'd matter, since your forces are now dead and under rubble.)

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
haermm Jackass.

Fact is, Timecop was never shown using a big ass bomb, it's not in his weaponry. Therefore he can't use it here. You might as well try and give him a star destroyer.


Nope. Thats a bad analogy, RJ.

The techs who built that time travel technology couldnt build a star Destroyer. But building a bomb...? Yes thats very very likely indeeeeeeed. Or as they have full government backing, they could just GET one, rather than build one.

Ergo: The bombing is feasible.


And if that doesnt work, Timecop skipping back in time with a small piece of rubble from the Hogwarts assault, goes and touches the foundations of Hogwarts with it in the past time frame, breaking the "Same matter twice can't occupy the same space in the same time" rule, destroying it like this:

D01mdGW9-Zg

Not by Timecop it isn't, you're giving him a weapon he was never shown using. Wizards have Dr. Manhattan powers.

Same living matter, it was implied that the same living matter cannot occupy the same space.

Meeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh Worng answer RJ, Would you like to go for Double Jeopary where the scores can REALLY change..?

Timecop can take what he likes back into the past, Gimpboy.
THAT IS A SCREEN FEAT.

Same MATTER dude..

Ivan from No Retreat No Surrender poses as a Russian student and snap kicks Dumbledors head from his neck. Time cop drops a nuke he stole from WW2 and blows up the castle. Harry alone survives and Guile sonic booms his skull off his broom then Sumersault Kicks his skull FTW!

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Meeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh Worng answer RJ, Would you like to go for Double Jeopary where the scores can REALLY change..?

Timecop can take what he likes back into the past, Gimpboy.
THAT IS A SCREEN FEAT.

Same MATTER dude..


A bomb is a weapon, he can't use a weapon he was never shown using. Like it or not, that's it.

So when were two candy bars shown blowing up when occupying the same space? It was only shown on humans.

That's two instances in one post where you changed screen feats.

Originally posted by the ninjak
Ivan from No Retreat No Surrender poses as a Russian student and snap kicks Dumbledors head from his neck. Time cop drops a nuke he stole from WW2 and blows up the castle. Harry alone survives and Guile sonic booms his skull off his broom then Sumersault Kicks his skull FTW!

Excellent.

Checkmate, RJ.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
A bomb is a weapon, he can't use a weapon he was never shown using. Like it or not, that's it.

So when were two candy bars shown blowing up when occupying the same space? It was only shown on humans.

That's two instances in one post where you changed screen feats.

Then do you accept that by your own rule, that Wizards have literally NO defence against the Van Damage posse..?

Cause NO Hogwartsian has ever beat JCVD in any guise whatsoever onscreen.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Excellent.

Checkmate, RJ. Nah, this was checkmate:

Also, team VD will have no idea what's inside Hogwarts. There are many floors, passages, there are staircases that move around as they please. There are paintings and ghosts that will see every move team VD makes. Team VD will be spread thin, and they will have no idea what's around each corner. The wizards know the castle, they know where each passage and staircase leads.

And especially this:

Way I see it, Dumbledore dons Harrys cloak, sips the felix felicis, and solos here.

He won't be seen, he will succeed at his every endeavor.

Game, set and match.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Then do you accept that by your own rule, that Wizards have literally NO defence against the Van Damage posse..?

Cause NO Hogwartsian has ever beat JCVD in any guise whatsoever onscreen.



Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Nah, this was checkmate:

Also, team VD will have no idea what's inside Hogwarts. There are many floors, passages, there are staircases that move around as they please. There are paintings and ghosts that will see every move team VD makes. Team VD will be spread thin, and they will have no idea what's around each corner. The wizards know the castle, they know where each passage and staircase leads.

And especially this:

Way I see it, Dumbledore dons Harrys cloak, sips the felix felicis, and solos here.

He won't be seen, he will succeed at his every endeavor.

Game, set and match.


/thread.

*Yawn*

Negated all that shit earlier. *End Thread*

Negated felix felicis and the cloak? Not.

Everything Dumbledore tries, he succeeds with felix felicis.

Wait, here we go...

Moody imperios GL44, makes him turn on his team. Dumbledore does the same to the Wagner twins, makes them **** each other while the others watch.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Negated felix felicis and the cloak? Not.

Everything Dumbledore tries, he succeeds with felix felicis.

Went round it with time travel.

Sure you did, champ, sure you did.

Yup.

Nope. Timecop can only travel as far back as the civil war. AND he can only use the weapons he is shown using.


8_Cqk5xB0t8&feature=related


Sooooooooooo no bomb, and no 2000 year time travel.

ao4EccZ-bvE&feature=related

B-but y-youre not the thread s-starter......
































Try again.

You can't give someone weapons they are never shown using. You can't take a piece of tech and say it can to what it did onscreen x 100. Rob is the thread starter, he'll know this to be true.


Speed Racers car can only go 800kmh, not 1600.

YuLaw can run only 50 mph, not 100.

See how that works?

But thats not an argument that applies here.


See how THAT works..?

All righty then, wizards have the combined power of God and Dr. Manhattan. Why? Because I said so, you know, just cuz.

But that only works in your little rigged threads. Thats Robtard's call.

Idiot.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Paintings, dude, ghosts, centaurs.

-Wizards are unaware this is happening until the 42 mins are up.

42 mins and no electricle dampeners.
Nuke will demolish Hogwarts.
All those flying around the outskirts receive the fallout.
The Dammes watch from a distance and use sniper rifles.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Negated felix felicis and the cloak? Not.

Everything Dumbledore tries, he succeeds with felix felicis.

Yes RJ. It was during the 42 mins during which the Hogwartsians were unaware (see opening post).

Dont be silly. They only thing he could succeed in doing when Hogwarts collapses in on him (and explodes under and all around him) is to scatter himself all over smashed brick and stone before being ground to paste.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi

Same living matter, it was implied that the same living matter cannot occupy the same space.



e8jO5a7iTUg
Start listening at 5:30

So where did that say LIVING matter...RJ...??

Time cop wins throwing Hogwarts rubble from a past/future time frame at the present ftw.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah baby.

Originally posted by the ninjak
42 mins and no electricle dampeners.
Nuke will demolish Hogwarts.
All those flying around the outskirts receive the fallout.
The Dammes watch from a distance and use sniper rifles.

Whilst they all attempt to prove to each other how well they do the splits.
Nuke and "same matter" FTW

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
e8jO5a7iTUg
Start listening at 5:30

So where did that say LIVING matter...RJ...??

Time cop wins throwing Hogwarts rubble from a past/future time frame at the present ftw.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah baby.

Hahahaha. Time Cop solos out of the blue.

BTW: It's not nice to make RJ cry, Sadako.

Hes crying...? If he is, it's on his own time.

Cant he just spell "ductus aridus" and make the tears go away..?

Here at 9:44 Van Damme escapes death then PWNS Optimus Prime for good measure....
lMtRNv3SziY

Scenario A: Timecop goes back and kills Dumbledore, Harry's mother as a child and the upper ranks of authority in Hogwarts as younglings...

Scenario B:
They go back and Detonate a dirty bomb in the grounds of Hogwarts 30 years prior to the clash. Most Wizards that study there die of radiation poisoning and cancer related illnesses and the males grow infertile, unable to produce, effectively wiping out the Wizard bloodlines.. then proceed to Scenario D.

Scenario C: The dropping in a Nuke like when they dropped that guy to the pavement in 20s new york..

Scenario D: The Same Matter implosion destruction of all in Hogwarts

Hogwarts is looking pretty convincingly destroyed.

Originally posted by the ninjak
42 mins and no electricle dampeners.
Nuke will demolish Hogwarts.
All those flying around the outskirts receive the fallout.
The Dammes watch from a distance and use sniper rifles.

42 minutes and the wizards are aware what is going on. (They'd know right away, after a few seconds, but OK)

Nah, the shield charm around Hogwarts would protect them from the nuke. But hey, OK. Never gets this far. Team VD is detected right away and captured easily.

Nukes are not part of the weaponry of any VD character.

Sniper rifles are not part of the weaponry of any VD character, not even the sniper from Maximum Risk.

The VD's would need to be at least a mile away to survive the initial blast, see the link below.


http://www.angelfire.com/biz/setpa/CGM/austnuke.html

They have no transportation, how they gonna reach safe distance? How they gonna escape the fallout with no tramsport?



Just a few holes in your "scenario."

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Scenario A: Timecop goes back and kills Dumbledore, Harry's mother as a child and the upper ranks of authority in Hogwarts as younglings...

Scenario B:
They go back and Detonate a dirty bomb in the grounds of Hogwarts 30 years prior to the clash. Most Wizards that study there die of radiation poisoning and cancer related illnesses and the males grow infertile, unable to produce, effectively wiping out the Wizard bloodlines.. then proceed to Scenario D.

Scenario C: The dropping in a Nuke like when they dropped that guy to the pavement in 20s new york..

Scenario D: The Same Matter implosion destruction of all in Hogwarts

Hogwarts is looking pretty convincingly destroyed.

FTW

TimeCops in control of this whole scenario with aid from Voldemort.
TimeCop and Team Damme form a commando unit and go back to 1945 and kung fu the hell out US Forces and steal a nuke they then teleport inside Hogwarts using Voldemort's final strike negation spell on Hogwarts ( kinda like a magical EMP) they dump it on the lower grounds then teleport out.

Originally posted by the ninjak
TimeCops in control of this whole scenario with aid from Voldemort.
TimeCop and Team Damme form a commando unit and go back to 1945 and kung fu the hell out US Forces and steal a nuke they then teleport inside Hogwarts using Voldemort's final strike negation spell on Hogwarts ( kinda like a magical EMP) they dump it on the lower grounds then teleport out. Nah, Morgan Freeman (Bruce Almighty) and Manhattan appear and neutralize the nuke, then fry the VD's. DP flies around mopping up.

The wizards drink butterbeer and lulz.

An excellent bit of reasoning NinjaK.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Nah, Morgan Freeman (Bruce Almighty) and Manhattan appear and neutralize the nuke, then fry the VD's. DP flies around mopping up.

The wizards drink butterbeer and lulz. Countered to perfection with this.

God, Dark Phoenix, Manhattan, can't get any more powerful than that.

i have read this entire thread..

Hogwarts has a chance, actually just hit play...

La8hV_bbgX8

RJ.... hate to break it to ya, but God doesn't exist.

Here in this thread or anyplace else.

May he strike you dead now if Im wrong.

Originally posted by BruceSkywalker
i have read this entire thread..

Hogwarts has a chance, actually just hit play...

La8hV_bbgX8

LOLZ too true.

God doesn't work like that.

Besides, he existed in Bruce Almighty, that's all that matters.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Nah, Morgan Freeman (Bruce Almighty) and Manhattan appear and neutralize the nuke, then fry the VD's. DP flies around mopping up.

The wizards drink butterbeer and lulz.

God hates Paganism and Manhattan's to busy eating Silk Spectre to give a Damme.

Originally posted by the ninjak
God hates Paganism and Manhattan's to busy eating Silk Spectre to give a Damme. So you say.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
So you say.

So it is written.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
God doesn't work like that.

Besides, he existed in Bruce Almighty, that's all that matters.

Well luckily you cannot speak for something that doesnt exist.
Let alone claim to know what goes on in its mind.

Religion is a death cult. A control book for people who need it.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Well luckily you cannot speak for something that doesnt exist.
Let alone claim to know what goes on in its mind.

Religion is a death cult. A control book for people who need it. OK then.

Originally posted by the ninjak
So it is written.

LOL

Here we go, bitches:

Team VD is detected right away, 5 seconds into their 42 minute fail recon. Dumbledore dons Harrys cloak, sips felix felicis, and kills team VD with this:

MEBm_vj6lX0&feature=related


Team VD never sees him, he's invisible, and all his endeavors succeed.

Mmmmmmmmmmhm.

Add on Hermione peeking around a corner casting confundus, team VD is easily confused, they never know what hits them.

There ya go, boyos, real screen feats that will kill team VD faster than Chad Wagner can do the splits.

Trying to break thread rules again, huh...?

How's that?

Another thing, lookie here at :23 to :26....

xZTeHYpGq9E&feature=related

When Harry is being pulled downward by the Inferi, Dumbledore, while doing his fire cyclone thingy, shoots a blast of fire down, blasting the Inferi dead center, hurling it backwards with great force. He didn't even see the Inferi, he knew it was there, knew right where to aim. An inch or so off and he blasts Harry. The water was pitch dark, BTW. In fact, as Harry looks up, he sees several fire blasts that Dumbledore has shot into the water.


So, according to screen feats, Dumbledore can do his fire attack AND sense where others, and blast them with pinpoint accuracy without even seeing them.


But hey, wizards suck, right? They're a joke!!!! Aaaaahahahahhaaaaa!!!!



One more time, in time:

Team VD is detected. Dumbledore dons Harrys cloak, sips felix felicis, and apparates to a tower overlooking team VD, a few seconds into their 42 second recon. The fire attack is cast. Team VD looks for the source, can't find it, and scatter. Dumbledore fries them with fire blasts, or uses the fire attack to seek them out.





Counter?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Counter?


http://www.guycarrier.com/bus/images/KitchenCounter1W.JPG



Dat's right, berch....




http://i698.photobucket.com/albums/vv341/jedibeastie2/pwned.jpg

haermm Gonna profile that haermm

Whoa, whoa and whoa, no need to hate on each other so, the Force has been disturbed.

I had forgotten about the Timecop, it's really a trump card here. Guy has a time-machine, it was never implied or stated that Timecop can only travel to a handful of unique instances in time. It's a time-machine; that's what it does.

Having said that, the bomb scenario is a bit quirky. But traveling back and forth in time, discerning the time and place of the wizard's birth or possibly a moment when they were vulnerable, say when Dumbledore was less of a wizard or taking a massive shit etc is in fact a feasible scenario.

When making the thread, I didn't factor this in, I was thinking it would 30'ish Van Dammes gunning, kicking and do the splits against a couple hundred wizards, most of them students with a handful of powerful teachers and the castle's advantage helping the them.

Imp, can you close the thread? Let the hatred end and the healing begin.

Timecop:http://www.vandamme.ru/photos/movies/timecop/timecop29.jpg

Originally posted by Robtard
Whoa, whoa and whoa, no need to hate on each other so, the Force has been disturbed.

I had forgotten about the Timecop, it's really a trump card here. Guy has a time-machine, it was never implied or stated that Timecop can only travel to a handful of unique instances in time. It's a time-machine; that's what it does.

Having said that, the bomb scenario is a bit quirky. But traveling back and forth in time, discerning the time and place of the wizard's birth or possibly a moment when they were vulnerable, say when Dumbledore was less of a wizard or taking a massive shit etc is in fact a feasible scenario.

When making the thread, I didn't factor this in, I was thinking it would 30'ish Van Dammes gunning, kicking and do the splits against a couple hundred wizards, most of them students with a handful of powerful teachers and the castle's advantage helping the them.

Imp, can you close the thread? Let the hatred end and the healing begin.

Timecop:http://www.vandamme.ru/photos/movies/timecop/timecop29.jpg


Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
How's that?

Another thing, lookie here at :23 to :26....

xZTeHYpGq9E&feature=related

When Harry is being pulled downward by the Inferi, Dumbledore, while doing his fire cyclone thingy, shoots a blast of fire down, blasting the Inferi dead center, hurling it backwards with great force. He didn't even see the Inferi, he knew it was there, knew right where to aim. An inch or so off and he blasts Harry. The water was pitch dark, BTW. In fact, as Harry looks up, he sees several fire blasts that Dumbledore has shot into the water.


So, according to screen feats, Dumbledore can do his fire attack AND sense where others, and blast them with pinpoint accuracy without even seeing them.


But hey, wizards suck, right? They're a joke!!!! Aaaaahahahahhaaaaa!!!!



One more time, in time:

Team VD is detected. Dumbledore dons Harrys cloak, sips felix felicis, and apparates to a tower overlooking team VD, a few seconds into their 42 second recon. The fire attack is cast. Team VD looks for the source, can't find it, and scatter. Dumbledore fries them with fire blasts, or uses the fire attack to seek them out.





Counter?

Screen feats>>>>Speculation.


/thread.

OK, I'm bored at work, let's break this down:





Originally posted by Robtard

I had forgotten about the Timecop, it's really a trump card here. Guy has a time-machine, it was never implied or stated that Timecop can only travel to a handful of unique instances in time. It's a time-machine; that's what it does.Remember the Maximillian versus Blade thread? You said that Max can produce a flame in his hand only as big as what he is shown producing.

Same applies here, the TEC tech can only go back as far as what they were shown going.

Coupla things wrong with this...


1: Dumbledore has some sort of wizard precog, he showed that in the inferi vid. He knew right where Harry was, and fired that fire comet right into the inferi dragging Harry down. He didn't even see Harry, yet he knew right where Harry was, and when and where to attack.

2. Also, how's TEC gonna determine when is the best time to ambush Dumbledore? Or where to find him? He's a wizard, FFS, it's not like he is in public records. They will have no clue where he is, what he is doing, it's not like he'll have an address on file, or a social security number.



And that's how it should stay. Now you are moving the goalposts.

Granted he's a bit younger than Dumbdore typically goes for, but this:

http://junglethoughts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Van-Damme-Friday-3.gif counters Dumbledore, old man will start ogling and one of the other Van Dammes will shoot his ass dead.

haermm

whatever the outcome, it would assuredly qualify as a lolacaust

Originally posted by the ninjak
TimeCops in control of this whole scenario with aid from Voldemort.
TimeCop and Team Damme form a commando unit and go back to 1945 and kung fu the hell out US Forces and steal a nuke they then teleport inside Hogwarts using Voldemort's final strike negation spell on Hogwarts ( kinda like a magical EMP) they dump it on the lower grounds then teleport out.

And what makes you think Voldermort wouldn't double cross them?
He's not exacly a team working fella.

Originally posted by Skittle
And what makes you think Voldermort wouldn't double cross them?
He's not exacly a team working fella.

TimeCop handles all the teleporting of the team.
Voldemort just nullifies the defences hence the OP's rules.
Voldemort has no reason to betray Team Damme.
And Team Damme are only interested in completing the mission.
If Voldemort wants to kill them afterwards that would be a different fight.

Everyone dies except for Voldy and Bellatrix.

OK, I'd hate to break it to you, but EVERY SINGLE WIZARD AND WITCH IS FROM HOGWARTS (except those from other wizardry schools). This means that Voldemort is also here and he cannot die unless harry kills him, and harry dies first *(horcruxes). technically all wizards that were schooled there are still always called Hogwartians. When the maker of this thread said Hogwartians, he may not know it, but he meant every single person ever educated at Hogwarts equal tens of thousands of wizards. FAIL for anyone trying to say that Hogwarts loses.Even if you say that timecop kills everyone there right now; he will not be able to kill the four founders who are the most powerful wizards of all time (Gordric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin).

*Only Voldemort can kill Harry to make him vunerable with the elder wand belonging to harry which; in this case would be impossible (there had to be a war)

They're riding the Timecop like a bucking bronco. They got nothing, team VD loses, quite horribly. Voldy or Dumbledore solos.

Nah Im pretty convinced that Harry, if stabbed in the arse with a broken bottle or knife, would die from arterial bleeding just the same as the next guy. And a shooting him in the head with an uzi'd work.

If he was immune to that he'd have been sent to Iraq.

And to my knowledge, Harry Potter was never sent in (Onscreen) to resolve any form of armed conflict by the UN or anyone else.
(Unlike most members of the Van damage)
Cause Harry Potter and his chums are a MASSIVE battlefield failure.
Protego wont stop an IED along the roadside.

Also Christopher Lee in LOTR didnt train at Hogwarts and He'd PWN the c**t off of Harry.

And Timecop, kills the founders before they've founded.
He might even kill their parents before they've conceived also.
Time travel beats silly kids tale wizardy, Im afraid.
Hate to break that to you.

TimeCop teleports Chad from Double Impact into Dumbledor's general location wearing his aerobics spandex outfit and seduces Dumbledor into his chambers.
Dumbledor offers Chad a drink and turns around to make some dwarfs ale (or whatever the hell they drink) and Chad brakes his neck.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Nah Im pretty convinced that Harry, if stabbed in the arse with a broken bottle or knife, would die from arterial bleeding just the same as the next guy. And a shooting him in the head with an uzi'd work.

If he was immune to that he'd have been sent to Iraq.

And to my knowledge, Harry Potter was never sent in (Onscreen) to resolve any form of armed conflict by the UN or anyone else.
(Unlike most members of the Van damage)
Cause Harry Potter and his chums are a MASSIVE battlefield failure.
Protego wont stop an IED along the roadside.

Also Christopher Lee in LOTR didnt train at Hogwarts and He'd PWN the c**t off of Harry.

And Timecop, kills the founders before they've founded.
He might even kill their parents before they've conceived also.
Time travel beats silly kids tale wizardy, Im afraid.
Hate to break that to you. Terrible acting all the way around, if that matters.

No.

OK, let's break this down. When team VD is detected moments into their 42 minute recon (and yes, they WILL be detected right away), what action do you see the wizards? Rolling over and taking it up the ass?
OP states that team VD is to spend 42 minutes reconning the castle from the outside. It says nothing of Timecop travelling back in time right away. He is to spend the entire 42 minutes with the others, as stated in the OP. After that, he can time travel as much as he likes.

The OP didn't even remember that TimeCop existed......so TimeCop does his thing, time travel.

The ultimate weapon!

Originally posted by the ninjak
The OP didn't even remember that TimeCop existed......so TimeCop does his thing, time travel.

The ultimate weapon!

OP says this:

Originally posted by Robtard
Every character Jean-Claude Van Damme has played (with gear) lays siege on Hogwarts:

Every character with GEAR. The time travel machine hardly qualifies as gear. It's a mode of transport, nothing more.

If this were a thread about Jango Fett fighting someone h2h, we can't bring in the Slave 1 if the OP says Jango has all his gear.

Time Traveling device counts as gear.

Really now? What does it do? It TRANSPORTS Timecop from point A to point B, like a car, or a ship, or a plane.

Transport.


Gear= Weaponry, gadgets, tools and shit. Radios, infrared, motion detectors.


But OK, you wanna call it gear? OK, I'll play.


OK, let's break this down. When team VD is detected moments into their 42 minute recon (and yes, they WILL be detected right away), what action do you see the wizards? Rolling over and taking it up the ass?
OP states that team VD is to spend 42 minutes reconning the castle from the outside. It says nothing of Timecop travelling back in time right away. He is to spend the entire 42 minutes with the others, as stated in the OP. After that, he can time travel as much as he likes.

His time traveling isn't included for in real time its only a sec before TimeCop returns with a Nuke and whatever else he needs. He then takes the team way back in time to so he can stand in the area he needs to drop the nuke and flee. How old is Hogwarts?

Jesus, dude......Timecop was never shown using a nuke or a bomb, it's not part of his weaponry, therefore he cannot use it here. You can't go giving someone a weapon in a thread here if they never used anything like it onscreen. Besides, you really think he is gonna sacrifice his team that way? How will they escape? Timecop is a TEC officer, he is a good guy. Just like Dumbledore won't use dark magic, Timecop won't sacrifice his team.

Hogwarts wad founded in the 9th-10 century.

He teleports them in and out just like the bad guy did in the movie.

And how else is TimeCop gonna kill these punks with his hands?

Nahhhhh he gets a nuke.

And how does he get the nuke to Hogwarts?

Here, watch at around 5:20 to 6:20:

KesEYY2-YIc&feature=related

Look a how small the inside of the launch pod is, how is he gonna get a nuke inside the pod"?
How's he gonna GET the nuke?

And at 7:50, they are thrust into 1994. IF he travels somewhere to get a nuke and get it in the pod (lo l @ that), you do realize that he will have to put it in the back seat. Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeal safe having a nuke emerge from time travel only to be free falling. What's he gonna do, catch it? (lol @ that too.)

And one more time, he won't sacrifice his team. He's a good guy, like Dumbledore. Dumbledore won't use dark magic, Timecop won't sacrifice his team.

Timecop is at Hogwarts. You are seriously implying that he is gonna time travel somewhere, grab a nuke, travel BACK to TEC headquarters, put the nuke in the pod, time travel BACK to Hogwarts, emerge from the bubble, miraculously catch the nuke with his bare hands, set it INSIDE Hogwarts, get him and his team a mile away to a safe distance, detonate it, all without the wizards not knowing whats going on? Is this really what you are saying? And you are forgetting that he has NO idea how to work a nuke, AND that a nuke is not part of his weaponry.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth

And Timecop, kills the founders before they've founded.
Missed this part:

If Timecop does this, big deal, how does that win the battle?

The school will be either:

A: Founded by some other wizards.

or

B: Never be founded, but the wizards in the school will still be alive with wizard powers, only spread out in the world, making team VD's job that much harder, having to find each one.

Killing the founders only makes team VD's job that much harder.

Team Dammes mission is to kill the current residence of Hogwarts.
They don't care about any alternate incarnations.

They wont care about anything when they're tag-on-the-****in-toe dead. Killed by .......



Magical spells.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
And how does he get the nuke to Hogwarts?


Look a how small the inside of the launch pod is, how is he gonna get a nuke inside the pod"?
How's he gonna GET the nuke?



Suitcase Nuke stolen from terrorists he gained knowledge about from the corporation.

They exist in films therefore TimeCop can acquire one through CIA FBI knowledge of terrorists capturing one. He can just go back a grab it first.


BOOMMMMM!

Nah, he wouldn't sacrifice his team.

What makes you think they're there?

But Chad from Double Impact is busy seducing Dumbledor but he is an acceptable loss.

Because the OP says they are.

I meant they will wait out in the forest kungfuing centaurs and stuff while TimeCop and Chad take care of the Castle and Dumbledor.