Thor (unarmed) Vs. A whole lot of Spiders

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illadelph12
Thor gets really, really, really drunk on a night out with Tony Stark (he's had 700 f*ckin' Jager Bombs, and 200 bottles of Jagermeister) and, in a Ben Roethlisberger-esque manner, winds up in a bathroom with Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy and tries to force himself on them. Spider-man is at the same bar having a reunion with some of the spider themed members of his supporting cast and rogues gallery and goes to use the bathroom after having a few drinks. As he approaches the door his Spider sense goes off and he can hear the sound of muffled screams and cries. He opens the door to find Thor, in his drunken, semi maddened state, holding Gwen and Mary Jane by the hair and forcing them to perform fellatio on him as they are attempting to scream for help (but can't because Thor keeps filling their mouths). Peter shoots webbing onto Gwen and Mary Jane and pulls them away from Thor. Thor reaches for Mjolnir but, due to his actions, he has been deemed unworthy of holding the hammer by Odin's enchantment. Thor, even more enraged now, then pulls up his pants and pushes Spider-Man forcefully through the bathroom door, sending him flying across the room and into the bar, shattering many glasses and bottles of alcohol. Venom and Toxin's spider senses go off as well, and the assemblage notice the commotion. They see Thor storm out of the bathroom and about to assault Spider-Man. Venom and Co. decide to jump Thor for being a dirty bastard.

Thor says "Have at thee, villains!!"

Thor (without Mjolnir, but with a bottle of Jagermeister in hand, drunk as sh*t, and in a semi-maddened state)

Vs.

Spider-man
Venom (Brock)
Carnage
Toxin
The Doppelganger
Black Tarantula
Tarantula
Scarlet Spider
Ezekiel
Kaine
Anti-Venom
Spidercide
Thousand

Battle takes place in a crowded Elephant Bar on a Friday night.

Discuss.

Stoic
I see a lot of crushed spiders under Thor's boots when his rage meter reaches critical, and he unleashes the Warrior madness. If not, he dies.

Bentley
They will wish Thor wouldn't have pulled his pants up.

Stoic
Originally posted by illadelph12
Thor gets really, really, really drunk on a night out with Tony Stark (he's had 700 f*ckin' Jager Bombs, and 200 bottles of Jagermeister) and, in a Ben Roethlisberger-esque manner, winds up in a bathroom with Mary Jane and Gwen Stacy and tries to force himself on them. Spider-man is at the same bar having a reunion with some of the spider themed members of his supporting cast and rogues gallery and goes to use the bathroom after having a few drinks. As he approaches the door his Spider sense goes off and he can hear the sound of muffled screams and cries. He opens the door to find Thor, in his drunken, semi maddened state, holding Gwen and Mary Jane by the hair and forcing them to perform fellatio on him as they are attempting to scream for help (but can't because Thor keeps filling their mouths). Peter shoots webbing onto Gwen and Mary Jane and pulls them away from Thor. Thor reaches for Mjolnir but, due to his actions, he has been deemed unworthy of holding the hammer by Odin's enchantment. Thor, even more enraged now, then pulls up his pants and pushes Spider-Man forcefully through the bathroom door, sending him flying across the room and into the bar, shattering many glasses and bottles of alcohol. Venom and Toxin's spider senses go off as well, and the assemblage notice the commotion. They see Thor storm out of the bathroom and about to assault Spider-Man. Venom and Co. decide to jump Thor for being a dirty bastard.

Thor says "Have at thee, villains!!"

Thor (without Mjolnir, but with a bottle of Jagermeister in hand, drunk as sh*t, and in a semi-maddened state)

Vs.

Spider-man
Venom (Brock)
Carnage
Toxin
The Doppelganger
Black Tarantula
Tarantula
Scarlet Spider
Ezekiel
Kaine
Anti-Venom
Spidercide
Thousand

Battle takes place in a crowded Elephant Bar on a Friday night.

Discuss.


Elephant Bar?

illadelph12
Elephant Bar is a chain of restaurant/bars, kinda like TGI Fridays, Outback Steakhouse, or Chili's. It's a popular place for dates and outings. Good drinks and happy hour.

Don Corleone
Thor gets really, really, really drunk


I got that far. erm

Starscream M
Spiders win.

Spider-Man alone would give a drunken Thor for his money. Add the others Spiders into the equation, and you get one beatup asgardian.

---

btw, I figured Spiderman's reaction upon seeing Thor naked would be laughter followed by, "Now I see why you carry that big hammer of yours around all the time, 'big' fella!"

Parmaniac
Who is Thousand supposed to be?

The Nuul
Thor still has access to his other powers without his hammer. Since hes drunk, he's say fck it and use them.

marwash22
Originally posted by Starscream M
Spiders win.

Spider-Man alone would give a drunken Thor for his money. Add the others Spiders into the equation, and you get one beatup asgardian. no.


Originally posted by Starscream M
btw, I figured Spiderman's reaction upon seeing Thor naked would be laughter followed by, "Now I see why you carry that big hammer of yours around all the time, 'big' fella!" ghey.

illadelph12
Originally posted by Parmaniac
Who is Thousand supposed to be?

He's a villain similar to Swarm, but made out of spiders.

marwash22
this would be like Neo vs. all the Smith clones in the Reloaded. The Spiders would pile on top of Thor, he'd flex and the spider's would go flying. He'd choke the life outta them one by one.

This could also be a stalemate because without Mjolnir, i don't think Thor can put down Venom/Carnage.

Starscream M
Originally posted by marwash22
this would be like Neo vs. all the Smith clones in the Reloaded. The Spiders would pile on top of Thor, he'd flex and the spider's would go flying. He'd choke the life outta them one by one.

This could also be a stalemate because without Mjolnir, i don't think Thor can put down Venom/Carnage. right because the spiders are dumb huh?

You're wrong. the Spiders would overwhelm thor and overtake him.

iceman24567
Thor wrecks them

marwash22
Originally posted by Starscream M
You're wrong. the Spiders would overwhelm thor and overtake him. how?

Starscream M
Originally posted by marwash22
how? they are gonna be able to avoid most of what thor throws at them...remember he's wasted

the symbiotes can cut him with their tendrils, the others could smash his head with various objects, etc...eventually he will fall

marwash22
Originally posted by Starscream M
they are gonna be able to avoid most of what thor throws at them...remember he's wasted

the symbiotes can cut him with their tendrils, the others could smash his head with various objects, etc...eventually he will fall no.

you're acting like being drunk takes away his powers. erm

Starscream M
Originally posted by marwash22
no.

you're acting like being drunk takes away his powers. erm he doesn't use his more fancy powers anyways

too, he's drunk...so he's even more likely to straight out brawl than resort to his fancier powers

marwash22
Originally posted by Starscream M
he doesn't use his more fancy powers anyways

too, he's drunk...so he's even more likely to straight out brawl than resort to his fancier powers lulz. you're hilarious.

You think the blades of a sub-class 70's are gonna hurt him?

You think his stamina is somehow lessened because he's drunk?

You think his HF won't remove him from his drunken state after a few minutes?

The Nuul
I say that since hes drunk hes going to use his other powers without his hammer and just say fck it.

Uriel005
I think the top of the spider list is carnage and he tops out at around class 40 I think. Thor farts in the symbiotes general direction and the sonic attack cripples them. Thor doesn't do silent and deadly It will be loud wet and nasty. Thor continues to destroy everyone but spidey in his drunken fugue he decides to show spidey how a real man works. He proceeds to take his wimmins back to the bathroom to finish up while spidey futilely beats on his back as he does so.

Black bolt z
Spiders easy.

StiltmanFTW
Originally posted by Parmaniac
Who is Thousand supposed to be?

And you call yourself a Spider-Man fan...?

marwash22
Originally posted by Black bolt z
Spiders easy. no.

Black bolt z
Originally posted by marwash22
yes.

marwash22
yes... you are delusional? i agree. stick out tongue

Black bolt z
Originally posted by marwash22
yes... you are delusional? i agree. stick out tongue me too.I know I am.But the spiders still stomp.

illadelph12
I think this is a lot closer than people think...

The Nuul
And Colossus C thinks that Colossus vs Superman is a close match.

marwash22
Originally posted by illadelph12
I think this is a lot closer than people think... How so? Thor's not gonna be drunk for long and once the spiders start agitating him, he'll get serious and bring the pain.

illadelph12
He's gonna be drunk for the duration of the battle as it's the stip (that he's sh*tfaced).

Also, the Spiders have a lot of options and ways of keeping him incapacitated. They don't have to be able to kill him to beat him in a bar brawl.

Uriel005
Originally posted by illadelph12
He's gonna be drunk for the duration of the battle as it's the stip (that he's sh*tfaced).

Also, the Spiders have a lot of options and ways of keeping him incapacitated. They don't have to be able to kill him to beat him in a bar brawl.


Your right they toss MJ at him and tell her to suck for their lives while they hold Spidey down.

marwash22
Originally posted by illadelph12
He's gonna be drunk for the duration of the battle as it's the stip (that he's sh*tfaced).

Also, the Spiders have a lot of options and ways of keeping him incapacitated. They don't have to be able to kill him to beat him in a bar brawl. So, your stipulation negates a character's power-set? mmm

DarkOdin
Originally posted by Starscream M
they are gonna be able to avoid most of what thor throws at them...remember he's wasted

the symbiotes can cut him with their tendrils, the others could smash his head with various objects, etc...eventually he will fall Logans claws barely cut Thor and you think the Symbiotes can big grin Anyway Thor in an angry drunk stat unleashes a huge storm and wipes the spiders out

illadelph12
Originally posted by marwash22
So, your stipulation negates a character's power-set? mmm

Jagerbombs>>>>>>>>>>Healing Factor.

Ask Bada.

Thor is DRUNK.

Period. big grin

The Nuul
lol, Bada is getting picked on today.

marwash22
Bada is a ouchebagday 'cause he doesn't share his tortellini.

EDIT: that's sounds a little ghey. biscuits

The Nuul
Originally posted by marwash22
Bada is a ouchebagday 'cause he doesn't share his tortellini.

EDIT: that's sounds a little ghey. biscuits

Gay, you want his tortellini.

illadelph12
Yeah, that definitely needs a (no homo) pawtna...

marwash22
I'll play along with Thor being drunk for the duration, even though we all know better ahuh. Still, the spiders blades aren't gonna cut Thor (if they do, his HF will close those up with the quickness); the best they could hope for his immobilizing him by gang raping him with webbing.

illadelph12
Which would count as a W.

Uriel005
Originally posted by marwash22
I'll play along with Thor being drunk for the duration, even though we all know better ahuh. Still, the spiders blades aren't gonna cut Thor (if they do, his HF will close those up with the quickness); the best they could hope for his immobilizing him by gang raping him with webbing.

Thor could snap webbing. There is a limit to what they can take before snapping and I guarantee they will snap under planet busting forces.

Mshinu
The spiders don`t stand a chanse.. they can`t do real damage and drunken brawl is a fcukin art form to any viking not to mention viking gods.

Thor massacers them, then mistakes Parker for a girl and has his way with him.

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