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As some of you know, I work the graveyard shift (11-7) at a hotel. One of my coworkers works one shift a week part time, Sunday, from 3pm to 11pm. I am the one that relieves him.

He has another hotel job, and when we hired him a few months ago, he came to me and asked me if I could show up at 10:40 pm instead of 11pm, so that he has time to get to his other job.

No problem, right? I can do that. Well, about a month ago, I show up at 10:40, and he didn't have to go to his other job. So I told him in the future to call me every Sunday about 7pm to let me know IF he needs me to come in early. He agreed.

Well, a couple of sundays ago he didn't call me, so I assumed that he did not need me to come in early.

I get to work at 11pm, and he is gone. He left a note saying that he left at 1040pm. He literally abandoned his post and went to his other job. When I got there, there were two people waiting to be checked in.



Now, when I saw my boss the next morning, I told him that dude had left his post and that the front desk was abandoned for almost 25 minutes.

Am I rat for doing so? Or was it necessary to tell my boss?

it was necessary.

back when i worked at WFS. the guy whos job i was taking was fired for something like that.
he punched in, took the company truck to toronto for a hockey game, came back and punched out.

he was caught, so his ass got fired, And thats the story of how i got the job.


but yeah, slacking off is one thing, completely leaving is another.
even if its for another job.... or a hockey game, Go leafs.

My thoughts exactly.

It doesn't make you a rat. I have a slightly different feeling on it. If he calls you to ask you to show up early then that can be okay; but if he clear out is just too lazy to do his job AND be sure to have a replacement for him during the time difference (that 25 minutes) then he just doesn't deserve it. did he ever once actually call you like he said he would?

I don't get it, was it necessary to tell your boss at all?
Like was he on your case or did you just preemptively tell him?

Why wouldn't you tell your boss?

You do your job, or you don't have a job. And you certainly don't just take off without telling anyone or making sure you have someone in to cover for you.

Rat

I think that if they try but something seriously important came up then you do have a choice. I mean, there is an honor among us to protect each other and you can try to cover for them. But from what it sounds like he doesn't deserve any help, he needs to take responsibility.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
As some of you know, I work the graveyard shift (11-7) at a hotel. One of my coworkers works one shift a week part time, Sunday, from 3pm to 11pm. I am the one that relieves him.

He has another hotel job, and when we hired him a few months ago, he came to me and asked me if I could show up at 10:40 pm instead of 11pm, so that he has time to get to his other job.

No problem, right? I can do that. Well, about a month ago, I show up at 10:40, and he didn't have to go to his other job. So I told him in the future to call me every Sunday about 7pm to let me know IF he needs me to come in early. He agreed.

Well, a couple of sundays ago he didn't call me, so I assumed that he did not need me to come in early.

I get to work at 11pm, and he is gone. He left a note saying that he left at 1040pm. He literally abandoned his post and went to his other job. When I got there, there were two people waiting to be checked in.



Now, when I saw my boss the next morning, I told him that dude had left his post and that the front desk was abandoned for almost 25 minutes.

Am I rat for doing so? Or was it necessary to tell my boss?

It was necessary. He needed to be a lot more responsible, and you could've gotten in trouble for what he did.

you do your job. and if the guy is no call no show, its only right that you report it. especially if you are supervisory position. Are you in a supervisory position?

Originally posted by silver_tears
I don't get it, was it necessary to tell your boss at all?
Like was he on your case or did you just preemptively tell him? I told him because I felt that he needed to know.

You don't just walk away, not ever, from your post. Not if you wanna keep your job.

Even if hour boss hadn't asked you about said incident, are you really willing to gamble your job? What would you have to say had the boss found out? Most likely, both of you would be sacked.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
I am the one that relieves him.
Hahahaahahahaahaahhaaahhhhahahahahahahahaha!

Robtard, shush :P

Well, I think from a "workers unite" perspective you'd be a rat. I don't think it was necessarily wrong, maybe you could have given him a chance, explain you'd have to tell the next time, but it's okay not to, it's definitely the safer thing to do for yourself.

Originally posted by Impediment
Even if hour boss hadn't asked you about said incident, are you really willing to gamble your job? What would you have to say had the boss found out? Most likely, both of you would be sacked. Precisely why I told him. If he found out a week later, and realized I didn't tell him, then I am covering for the guy.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
As some of you know, I work the graveyard shift (11-7) at a hotel. One of my coworkers works one shift a week part time, Sunday, from 3pm to 11pm. I am the one that relieves him.

He has another hotel job, and when we hired him a few months ago, he came to me and asked me if I could show up at 10:40 pm instead of 11pm, so that he has time to get to his other job.

No problem, right? I can do that. Well, about a month ago, I show up at 10:40, and he didn't have to go to his other job. So I told him in the future to call me every Sunday about 7pm to let me know IF he needs me to come in early. He agreed.

Well, a couple of sundays ago he didn't call me, so I assumed that he did not need me to come in early.

I get to work at 11pm, and he is gone. He left a note saying that he left at 1040pm. He literally abandoned his post and went to his other job. When I got there, there were two people waiting to be checked in.



Now, when I saw my boss the next morning, I told him that dude had left his post and that the front desk was abandoned for almost 25 minutes.

Am I rat for doing so? Or was it necessary to tell my boss?

You're aces man. You don't need to question your integrity here. Not only was buddy being irresponsible but also highly inconsiderate. He essentially took a shit on you. He didn't even make an effort to let someone know that he was leaving but instead, left a note. Again, Even though i think that's funny as hell...,he left a note telling you that he left early It was irresponsible and inconsiderate. Anything could have happened during those twenty minutes. This also sounds like a guy who would try to turn the tables on you if he were being threatened with disciplinary actions. If you didn't tell your boss he wouldn't learn anything and would probably continue to try and take advantage of you or other co-workers. At least now he has to take some responsibility.

Well, RJ, you really need to tell the second half of the story of what happened about a week later.


It's only fair that they know what type of piece of shit this guy is.




Also, yeah, if one complaint was received from the customers and your manager got wind of it, your buddy could easily say, "John showed up, said he "had this", so I left for my other job. John probably was in the back wacking off or something." However, it could easily have gone all on him. Customer tells the manager, the manager gets the time, manager clearly sees that the person working was not you, he gets onto the lazy douche. The end.



I do not like to tattle on people. I probably would not have told on him, myself. I would have given him one more chance. lol...

Originally posted by dadudemon
Well, RJ, you really need to tell the second half of the story of what happened about a week later.


It's only fair that they know what type of piece of shit this guy is.


. OK then.

This past Sunday, I was told by my boss that dude needed me to show up at 1040pm, to give him time to get to his second job. No problem, right?

Well, I am on the freeway driving to work, and at 1029pm he calls me. Now me, I don't answer my cell when driving. He leaves me a voice mail.

I pull into the hotel parking lot at 1030 pm (10 minutes earlier than the agreed upon 1040pm, mind you), and I see him walking to his car. He sees me and turns around, going back inside.

I come in, clock in at 1031 pm, and he goes to leave. He stops and asks me "What happened last time?"

I tell him that he didn't call me, that I had no idea I was to show up early.

Well, he launches into a tirade about how it's not his job to let me know, that it is my bosses responsibility, that he is under no obligation to call me. He goes on and on and on and on and on for like two minutes (He's black, gay, and VERY ghetto, mind you), until I hold my hands up and I say "Dude STOP. Stop talking to me about it. Talk to Herb (the GM) about it."

This did not sit well with him. He went gay ghetto on me, saying "Uh uh you don't shush me!!!" Then went on and on and on and on and on until I said "Look, I'm not having this conversation with you. It's like talking to a woman. Buh bye, have a nice day."

He left. I then listened to my voicemail, he had said "You KNOW I have to work tonight, I'm leaving, again. You can tell on me again."

So your boss is fine with him doing that now?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
OK then.

This past Sunday, I was told by my boss that dude needed me to show up at 1040pm, to give him time to get to his second job. No problem, right?

Well, I am on the freeway driving to work, and at 1029pm he calls me. Now me, I don't answer my cell when driving. He leaves me a voice mail.

I pull into the hotel parking lot at 1030 pm (10 minutes earlier than the agreed upon 1040pm, mind you), and I see him walking to his car. He sees me and turns around, going back inside.

I come in, clock in at 1031 pm, and he goes to leave. He stops and asks me "What happened last time?"

I tell him that he didn't call me, that I had no idea I was to show up early.

Well, he launches into a tirade about how it's not his job to let me know, that it is my bosses responsibility, that he is under no obligation to call me. He goes on and on and on and on and on for like two minutes (He's black, gay, and VERY ghetto, mind you), until I hold my hands up and I say "Dude STOP. Stop talking to me about it. Talk to Herb (the GM) about it."

This did not sit well with him. He went gay ghetto on me, saying "Uh uh you don't shush me!!!" Then went on and on and on and on and on until I said "Look, I'm not having this conversation with you. It's like talking to a woman. Buh bye, have a nice day."

He left. I then listened to my voicemail, he had said "You KNOW I have to work tonight, I'm leaving, again. You can tell on me again."

I wish someone had been there with a camera phone to upload it on youtube

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
it's not his job to let me know, that it is my bosses responsibility, that he is under no obligation to call me.

Uhhhh, yeah, no. If you cannot finish or make your shift for whatever reason, then it is your responsibility to make sure someone is covering for you.

Why doesn't he just work a different shift that day?

Originally posted by Peach
Uhhhh, yeah, no. If you cannot finish or make your shift for whatever reason, then it is your responsibility to make sure someone is covering for you.

Why doesn't he just work a different shift that day?

No idea. His fault for accepting a job that runs 3-11, when he is already working 11-7.


Originally posted by Bardock42
So your boss is fine with him doing that now? Dunno. I told him about it, that's all I am obliged to do.

Well you said:

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi

This past Sunday, I was told by my boss that dude needed me to show up at 1040pm, to give him time to get to his second job. No problem, right?


So I guess your boss is alright with it at least to some degree. You should ask what the exact deal is.





Additionally I find your "you talk like a woman" extremely sexist and somewhat anti-gay. We had this talk before, but it's never to late to start on the right path. You should try to work on that.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Well you said:



So I guess your boss is alright with it at least to some degree. You should ask what the exact deal is.





Additionally I find your "you talk like a woman" extremely sexist and somewhat anti-gay. We had this talk before, but it's never to late to start on the right path. You should try to work on that. I would never say anything like that, but she was going off on me like crazy.

You said it's a he. And you did say it, regardless the circumstances. But it's good that you see that it's wrong to say something like that.

I thought it was funny

Were it me, I'd tell the little ghetto fairy to eat shit and bark at the moon because I'm not coming into work early anymore to help your ungrateful gay ass.

Originally posted by Bardock42
You said it's a he. And you did say it, regardless the circumstances. But it's good that you see that it's wrong to say something like that. He acted like a she.

Originally posted by Impediment
Were it me, I'd tell the little ghetto fairy to eat shit and bark at the moon because I'm not coming into work early anymore to help your ungrateful gay ass. Well, I was gonna say "Sorry, i refuse to do you any more favors."

You should. Dude sounds like an ingrate who is walking all over you. Personally, I wouldn't tolerate it.

He seemed so nice and shit before all this happened, though.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
He acted like a she.

That's sexist again. Women don't behave one particular way. Worse, I worry that you connect bad things with this supposed womanly behaviour.

Originally posted by Bardock42
That's sexist again. Women don't behave one particular way. Worse, I worry that you connect bad things with this supposed womanly behaviour.

And this isn't?

Originally posted by Impediment
Were it me, I'd tell the little ghetto fairy to eat shit and bark at the moon because I'm not coming into work early anymore to help your ungrateful gay ass.


Feels like a huge spotlight is on me.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
And this isn't?




Feels like a huge spotlight is on me.

No, that's more homophobic/anti-gay, you are right though, not great either, we should condemn the guy for being a bad person, not bring his sexuality or harmless, if odd, quirks into it. It's great you recognized this, we can all start working on a better society together.

Originally posted by Bardock42
No, that's more homophobic/anti-gay, you are right though, not great either, we should condemn the guy for being a bad person, not bring his sexuality or harmless, if odd, quirks into it. It's great you recognized this, we can all start working on a better society together. Nah, it just shows we like having a good laugh.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Nah, it just shows we like having a good laugh.

We can all have a good laugh which is not at the expense of groups already facing prejudice, being persecuted or lacking equal and fair status.

Originally posted by Bardock42
We can all have a good laugh which is not at the expense of groups already facing prejudice, being persecuted or lacking equal and fair status. Or maybe I'm not sexist, maybe I just have a sick sense of humor?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Or maybe I'm not sexist, maybe I just have a sick sense of humor?

It's far from me to say you are sexist. Many of the things you say are though. Like I told you before, I understand it's not your intention, I used to do the same, I still struggle with it. But it is harmful and it would be smart and empathic to work on it

I think everyone should read the articles on this site: http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2010/01/feminism-101.html It helped me understand a lot more of the problems minorities face. I don't agree with all of it, but a lot of it is very reasonable. And it was quite exciting to read, too. It also addresses your points of "I'm just joking", "I don't mean it in a sexist way".

It also has a great article on the "terrible bargain" as they call it, which I have experienced myself, having co-workers, or business partners or even friends make incredibly close minded, sexist, homophobic maybe even racist remarks and only being able to smile and take it without raising ones opinions (which is of course not nearly as bad for me as I don't fit into any common minority so I am not personally targeted at least) or ruining a nice being together or a deal or whatever. I try to gather the courage to speak up whenever possible in real life, but it is definitely much easier online as are so many things that are made more mild by anonimity...good or bad.

Originally posted by Bardock42
It's far from me to say you are sexist. Many of the things you say are though. Like I told you before, I understand it's not your intention, I used to do the same, I still struggle with it. But it is harmful and it would be smart and empathic to work on it

I think everyone should read the articles on this site: http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2010/01/feminism-101.html It helped me understand a lot more of the problems minorities face. I don't agree with all of it, but a lot of it is very reasonable. And it was quite exciting to read, too. It also addresses your points of "I'm just joking", "I don't mean it in a sexist way".

It also has a great article on the "terrible bargain" as they call it, which I have experienced myself, having co-workers, or business partners or even friends make incredibly close minded, sexist, homophobic maybe even racist remarks and only being able to smile and take it without raising ones opinions (which is of course not nearly as bad for me as I don't fit into any common minority so I am not personally targeted at least) or ruining a nice being together or a deal or whatever. I try to gather the courage to speak up whenever possible in real life, but it is definitely much easier online as are so many things that are made more mild by anonimity...good or bad. Gay.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Gay.

Implications of femininity and homosexuality do not insult me. But you may ridicule me, please just read it, I'll be happy whenever you come around if you come around.

Originally posted by Bardock42
Implications of femininity and homosexuality do not insult me. But you may ridicule me, please just read it, I'll be happy whenever you come around if you come around. No, I'm just really really happy.

Jesus Bardock, you just got all kinds of self-righteous up in here dude. It's hard for me to even believe that that's you typing all that stuff to be honest, it's really unlike you to talk like that. Did Sancty log in as you or somethin?

Originally posted by RE: Blaxican
Jesus Bardock, you just got all kinds of self-righteous up in here dude. It's hard for me to even believe that that's you typing all that stuff to be honest, it's really unlike you to talk like that. Did Sancty log in as you or somethin? But...but....but.....you're blek....

What does me being black have to do with anything, RJ? I don't appreciate your discriminatory comments.

Originally posted by RE: Blaxican
Jesus Bardock, you just got all kinds of self-righteous up in here dude. It's hard for me to even believe that that's you typing all that stuff to be honest, it's really unlike you to talk like that. Did Sancty log in as you or somethin?

It's very much unlike her to type that.

It was me though, I'm sorry that it sounds self-righteous, I can totally see that, but it's how I feel, I've been thinking more about feminism lately, and before that what an ******* I am and how I don't really want to be that way.

I've gained a lot of empathy over the last couple years, it's a weird and new feeling for me.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
But...but....but.....you're blek.... Originally posted by RE: Blaxican
What does me being black have to do with anything, RJ? I don't appreciate your discriminatory comments, nigga.

See this, though perhaps somewhat problematic is completely different to what I meant to point out. It's more proactively making light of the differences between people, celebrating them perhaps, and poking fun at close, minded and ignorant people who view life in such a stupid way. Making a joke about how someone is a womanly ***, is the opposite of that, it's furthering the close-mindedness, not battling it.

Originally posted by RE: Blaxican
What does me being black have to do with anything, RJ? I don't appreciate your discriminatory comments, nigga. lol @ black people.

Originally posted by Bardock42
It's very much unlike her to type that.

It was me though, I'm sorry that it sounds self-righteous, I can totally see that, but it's how I feel, I've been thinking more about feminism lately, and before that what an ******* I am and how I don't really want to be that way.

I've gained a lot of empathy over the last couple years, it's a weird and new feeling for me.

Well, at least one person reading this appreciated your comments.

(ie, me)

I will never fail to be depressed/annoyed at people who, when faced with examples of their own sexist/racist/homophobic/whatnot behavior, not only refuse to not try and learn what they did wrong and why, will just laugh it off as joking and make ridiculous comments.

And Blax, you have been warned about that before.

Wow.

Originally posted by Peach
Well, at least one

I will never fail to be depressed/annoyed at people who, when faced with examples of their own sexist/racist/homophobic/whatnot behavior, not only refuse to not try and learn what they did wrong and why, will just laugh it off as joking and make ridiculous comments.
You know, this is a "different strokes for different folks" situation.

For instance, I know a coupla of gay people in real life, and I am always calling them "***" or "butt pirate", or "Missie." They take it with a grain of salt and call me something in return, it's all in good clean fun.

As far as the racist thing goes, I know quite a few black people in real life. I'll say something like "That's mighty black of you", and they'll hit me back with "That's mighty white of you." It's all a joke, we aren't really making fun of each others race. I mean we are, but not really, get it?

Now, as far as me telling dude "Talking to you is like talking to a woman", have you ever seen a ghetto hoochie go full blown ghetto hoochie? There's something quite unique about it. Nothing compares to it. So, if we want to get technical, it literally was like talking to a woman. If he went off like a hillbilly, I woulda called him a hillbilly. If he went thug gangsta, I woulda called him a thug gangsta.


Not everything means something, is what I am trying to say.

Bardock, I now understand why you were so annoyed with some of the things I used to say a couple of years ago.

Your posts in this thread (you know that ones I'm talking about) are so incredibly annoying.

Also, there are differences between the sexes both physically and psychologically, the extreme majority of time. You'd think that someone pretending to be so enlightened as yourself would know that. There ARE differences and we should recognize them and even think highly them.

That said, RJ told me this story BEFORE he created this thread. I can vouch and tell you that RJ was really talking about what "ghetto hoochie mama" when he said "woman." This is what he explained to me and this is what he meant. I understood completely. I'm quite sure his coworker understood, as well, but more words could have been used by RJ to explain what he meant by that in this thread or to his coworker. However, it's very difficult to, in a heated argument, to quickly form very logical and coherent thoughts: you'll slip up and partialy convey what you want to say because you fear being talked over before you get done and such.


Also, John, a couple of days back, had basically tore into me about never hitting a woman. I disagreed and thought it was okay to defend yourself. For being sexist, he has quite a high opinion of women, eh?

Also, that sucks that Blax cannot say the word that he got into trouble for. It definitely has a difernet context in African American subculture than its root word and most people already know that. But I understand why we shouldn't post it here.

Originally posted by dadudemon


Also, John, a couple of days back, had basically tore into me about never hitting a woman. I disagreed and thought it was okay to defend yourself. For being sexist, he has quite a high opinion of women, eh? That was a few days ago, dumbass.


Johnny Bravo is NOT sexist.

Breaking news: I just got a text from the guy. I am "an *******, a selfish little tattletale", and I better "Watch my back."

Oh no!!!

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Breaking news: I just got a text from the guy. I am "an *******, a selfish little tattletale", and I better "Watch my back."

Oh no!!!

You can report him and his text to your manager or higher. That's threatening and is a fire-able offense. It's okay if it's your social life, but this is your job. You don't mess around with the Job.

Do it!

I heart you.

Originally posted by Peach
Well, at least one person reading this appreciated your comments.

(ie, me)

I will never fail to be depressed/annoyed at people who, when faced with examples of their own sexist/racist/homophobic/whatnot behavior, not only refuse to not try and learn what they did wrong and why, will just laugh it off as joking and make ridiculous comments.

And Blax, you have been warned about that before.

Yeah, I get that frustration. But it's good to keep in mind that we are all products of society and that not all people who think that way do so maliciously.

I'm wondering, what did Blax get warned for previously?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
You know, this is a "different strokes for different folks" situation.

For instance, I know a coupla of gay people in real life, and I am always calling them "***" or "butt pirate", or "Missie." They take it with a grain of salt and call me something in return, it's all in good clean fun.

As far as the racist thing goes, I know quite a few black people in real life. I'll say something like "That's mighty black of you", and they'll hit me back with "That's mighty white of you." It's all a joke, we aren't really making fun of each others race. I mean we are, but not really, get it?

Now, as far as me telling dude "Talking to you is like talking to a woman", have you ever seen a ghetto hoochie go full blown ghetto hoochie? There's something quite unique about it. Nothing compares to it. So, if we want to get technical, it literally was like talking to a woman. If he went off like a hillbilly, I woulda called him a hillbilly. If he went thug gangsta, I woulda called him a thug gangsta.


Not everything means something, is what I am trying to say.

Things you say do mean something though. Like I said, I totally get that you don't mean any harm with it, and like I said there's differences in how you approach a joke. Not all jokes about sex, race or sexual orientation are harmful, hurtful or wrong. It is important to know the difference though and to be mindful of that difference.

So I don't think it's down to different strokes that we should accept.



Originally posted by dadudemon
Bardock, I now understand why you were so annoyed with some of the things I used to say a couple of years ago.


Your posts in this thread (you know that ones I'm talking about) are so incredibly annoying.

lol, thanks. Well I do get that, it's extremely preachy and somewhat self-righteous what I said. It's a hard topic to put into terms that don't sound judgmental though. Like I said, I don't want to blame RJ, I know he's a great guy and he doesn't mean it that way, and by no means do I want to put a spotlight on him, he's definitely not one of the worst doing that, most of us have and still do it. If anything I bring it up with RJ because I know that he is ultimately a good guy who doesn't mean it that way and won't take particular offense when I point it out.

Originally posted by dadudemon
Also, there are differences between the sexes both physically and psychologically, the extreme majority of time. You'd think that someone pretending to be so enlightened as yourself would know that. There ARE differences and we should recognize them and even think highly them.


That's really what my last post before this one was trying to say, celebrating our differences is great, treating each other with respect is necessary in that way though. There are ways to go about it jokingly that are not negative at all. That don't lower ones standing to raise the others. What we say does mean something though, and being mindful of that is important, and recognizing the difference can be hard.

Originally posted by dadudemon
That said, RJ told me this story BEFORE he created this thread. I can vouch and tell you that RJ was really talking about what "ghetto hoochie mama" when he said "woman." This is what he explained to me and this is what he meant. I understood completely. I'm quite sure his coworker understood, as well, but more words could have been used by RJ to explain what he meant by that in this thread or to his coworker. However, it's very difficult to, in a heated argument, to quickly form very logical and coherent thoughts: you'll slip up and partialy convey what you want to say because you fear being talked over before you get done and such.

I did actually get that image from what he said (which I guess shows my indoctrination towards certain stereotypes, true as they may be) and you are very right that the heat of an argument is very different from something you'd say if you had time to think, but it doesn't change what I was saying.

Originally posted by dadudemon
Also, John, a couple of days back, had basically tore into me about never hitting a woman. I disagreed and thought it was okay to defend yourself. For being sexist, he has quite a high opinion of women, eh?

Well, actually this "chivalrous" mindset is in itself sexist, we can discuss that too if you'd like. But it would be good if you kept in mind that I don't think John is sexist as a person, what I think is that he (and many, many others on here including me) at times use sexist language and that we should all try to be more aware of it and change our speech where it is prejudiced or implicating harmful stereotypes.


Originally posted by dadudemon
Also, that sucks that Blax cannot say the word that he got into trouble for. It definitely has a difernet context in African American subculture than its root word and most people already know that. But I understand why we shouldn't post it here.

I am not sure what Blax did get warned for, which is why I'd like to
know exactly, I certainly haven't taken offense to anything he said.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Breaking news: I just got a text from the guy. I am "an *******, a selfish little tattletale", and I better "Watch my back."

Oh no!!!

I agree with DDM, you should show your boss, that guy is obviously unstable.

People of the world just need to lighten the **** up.

Seriously,
If a comment is thrown out there and you take offense to it and it was clearly a comment of humor and not out right "you should die" bashing then, perhaps, you're merely insecure about your (Race/Sex/Religion... what have you) And you should be looking inside for the problem... And not at others whom may be more comfortable with these issues to be able to laugh at them.

You can't fix other people, but, you have full control over yourself.

Saying "haha it was a joke" doesn't make something less offensive. And being offended by something that is, well, offensive, does not mean you are insecure. If you are told you are being offensive, the correct response is to stop doing/saying whatever you said that was offensive, not claim you were joking and that people should lighten up.

And Blax got in trouble before (not an actual warning, but rather told not to do it) for bypassing the censors to use a certain slur.

Wow, this thread has suddenly turned into a thread about racism and...stuff

This reminds me of the incident when RJ did something to a war vet..like...threw a piece of paper or something and said it was a grenade...something a long those lines. Of course this is something different but similar in a way.

Originally posted by ~Bun Bun~
People of the world just need to lighten the **** up.

Seriously,
If a comment is thrown out there and you take offense to it and it was clearly a comment of humor and not out right "you should die" bashing then, perhaps, you're merely insecure about your (Race/Sex/Religion... what have you) And you should be looking inside for the problem... And not at others whom may be more comfortable with these issues to be able to laugh at them.

You can't fix other people, but, you have full control over yourself.

Sadly this view forgets the very real state of the world (i.e. discrimination) as well as actually malicious people. Luckily we can and do change people's minds all the time, so it is hardly futile to bring up problems, especially when the people in question are actually good hearted and may just not notice that there is a problem. It also ties in with my point about different kinds of humor, one being positive, and aimed against close-mindedness and discrimination, while others just further misunderstandings and create artificial differences.

I don't think it's about being pro-actively comfortable with the issues, rather it is societal indoctrination that makes many people (men and women, straigh and gay,,,) ignorant of them and fail to notice or understand what differeces are actually artificially created and how it is harmful to freedom and equality.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
OK then.

This past Sunday, I was told by my boss that dude needed me to show up at 1040pm, to give him time to get to his second job. No problem, right?

Well, I am on the freeway driving to work, and at 1029pm he calls me. Now me, I don't answer my cell when driving. He leaves me a voice mail.

I pull into the hotel parking lot at 1030 pm (10 minutes earlier than the agreed upon 1040pm, mind you), and I see him walking to his car. He sees me and turns around, going back inside.

I come in, clock in at 1031 pm, and he goes to leave. He stops and asks me "What happened last time?"

I tell him that he didn't call me, that I had no idea I was to show up early.

Well, he launches into a tirade about how it's not his job to let me know, that it is my bosses responsibility, that he is under no obligation to call me. He goes on and on and on and on and on for like two minutes (He's black, gay, and VERY ghetto, mind you), until I hold my hands up and I say "Dude STOP. Stop talking to me about it. Talk to Herb (the GM) about it."

This did not sit well with him. He went gay ghetto on me, saying "Uh uh you don't shush me!!!" Then went on and on and on and on and on until I said "Look, I'm not having this conversation with you. It's like talking to a woman. Buh bye, have a nice day."

He left. I then listened to my voicemail, he had said "You KNOW I have to work tonight, I'm leaving, again. You can tell on me again."

Yeah, he deserves to be fired. He's a straight up dick, no doubt. It's not because he's gay, black, or ghetto, though, since I know someone that fits all of those descriptions, and he's a great guy. Those factors don't make someone bad, but I do know what you're trying to say. The dude you're working with was just one of those jerks who thinks that they're entitled to do whatever they want.

Originally posted by RE: Blaxican
It's hard for me to even believe that that's you typing all that stuff to be honest, it's really unlike you to talk like that. Did Sancty log in as you or somethin?
..the ****? Was way too polite to be me.

Originally posted by Peach
Saying "haha it was a joke" doesn't make something less offensive. And being offended by something that is, well, offensive, does not mean you are insecure. If you are told you are being offensive, the correct response is to stop doing/saying whatever you said that was offensive, not claim you were joking and that people should lighten up.

And Blax got in trouble before (not an actual warning, but rather told not to do it) for bypassing the censors to use a certain slur.

I see it in a total different way. Getting offended by comments is being sensitive. Sensitivity seems to always steam from a issue within one's self that they are not fully comfortable with. If we always hold our tongues and tiptoe around everything that offends others you achieve the polar opposite end of acceptance. It would only create more hate.

"A blind man walks into a bar..."
"Yo mama is so fat..."

Should i be offended at these types of jokes? No their FUNNY.

"You can not work here because of your impairment..."

^ That is discrimination boys and girls.

Also one should remember the rate of acceptance is GROWING not diminishing.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
He acted like a she.

Is this what everyone's dogging RJ for? Oh jeez, people make jokes like this all the time. Have people never heard jokes like that before? It's not something you say frequently, but it's a joke. Besides, sexist or not, our society has, and most likely always will, have a guideline for which the genders are looked at by. It's been around since the first civilization, and it's still going to happen.

To me, sexist would be "The girl can't play baseball because she's a girl," or "She's a girl, so she will immediately want *insert item or name here.*"
RJ wasn't stating "Anyone who acts like this is a woman" like a fact, but it was a joke. And label me sexist, but there is a level between both males and females where some stereotypes are at least 85% true. Most guys I know like to go home, turn on the TV, and eat some wings with no care of the outside world. Most girls I know either like to shop or despise it because of social norms. Now, if a guy overacts, it doesn't automatically mean all women do it, but it is open for a simple but funny joke. RJ wasn't being offensive, he was just being funny.

The "South Park" episode that laughs at Scientology is 'offensive.' Does that mean that South Park is serious?

kbGGt_HI304

Originally posted by Sancty
..the ****? Was way too polite to be me. Sorry, my severe sexism dictates that only a woman could be so preachy.

This thread is pure lolz and fail with the PC nonsense.

RJ, tell your boss you'll show up at 10:58 and be ready to work by 11:00, cos that's when your shift starts. You're not obligated to start earlier.

Is there an HR department at your company?

He works for a large hotel chain with 8-9K employees, so they definitely have an HR dept. But I wouldn't involve HR just yet.

Originally posted by ~Bun Bun~
I see it in a total different way. Getting offended by comments is being sensitive. Sensitivity seems to always steam from a issue within one's self that they are not fully comfortable with. If we always hold our tongues and tiptoe around everything that offends others you achieve the polar opposite end of acceptance. It would only create more hate.

I don't think that is in any way truth. For one I am a guy, and have not been subject to sexism. I can understand that women who are exposed to constant mistreatment and sexism may be sensitive, but that doesn't make them wrong, I'd propose that sensitivity rather comes from empathy, certain moral convictions and understanding of a certain situation.

You may be right that there are times when people are overly-sensitive, but it's not the case here. What is the case here is that rather than thinking about what has been said, people have a blind view of a feminist enemy and reply to that strawman rather than the subtle explanations I've been giving.


Originally posted by ~Bun Bun~
"A blind man walks into a bar..."
"Yo mama is so fat..."

Should i be offended at these types of jokes? No their FUNNY.

Oh right, I heard a good one "Women are all stupid, they are bitches and sluts, or if they aren't they are frigid cows, they are obsessed with fashion and shoes, if anything they can aspire a career in those useless soft sciences, maths or real science they could never do, which is good anyways cause they are only good for making dinner and popping out babies anyways. lol"

Saying it's a joke doesn't matter, what matters is the severity and maliciousness of the stereotypes the jokes are based on. We as people not believing these ignorant and disgusting stereotypes should do our best to avoid furthering their ubiquity, we should stand against them, avoid them ourselves and point them out when they are used.

Originally posted by ~Bun Bun~
"You can not work here because of your impairment..."

^ That is discrimination boys and girls.

Also one should remember the rate of acceptance is GROWING not diminishing.

Perhaps that is true, but are you going to say that has nothing to do with the people standing up for the issues? And could it not be faster.
Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
Is this what everyone's dogging RJ for? Oh jeez, people make jokes like this all the time. Have people never heard jokes like that before? It's not something you say frequently, but it's a joke. Besides, sexist or not, our society has, and most likely always will, have a guideline for which the genders are looked at by. It's been around since the first civilization, and it's still going to happen.

To me, sexist would be "The girl can't play baseball because she's a girl," or "She's a girl, so she will immediately want *insert item or name here.*"
RJ wasn't stating "Anyone who acts like this is a woman" like a fact, but it was a joke. And label me sexist, but there is a level between both males and females where some stereotypes are at least 85% true. Most guys I know like to go home, turn on the TV, and eat some wings with no care of the outside world. Most girls I know either like to shop or despise it because of social norms. Now, if a guy overacts, it doesn't automatically mean all women do it, but it is open for a simple but funny joke. RJ wasn't being offensive, he was just being funny.

You could just read what I said, rather than assuming and missing the topic of discussion by far. If you are still wondering about things after you read what was actually said I'll be glad to explain my point to you in a different manner if possible.

You are bringing up a good point though, about stereotypes being true, however the truth is that the stereotypes aren't (partly) true because that's a real difference between the sexes, rather they are indoctrinated into boys and girls from a young age. Which is part of the argument feminists try to make that the unequal indoctrination of the sexes should be stopped and not be furthered by our usage of language and humor. An that's what I've been saying, most people don't even notice. So, again, I am NOT saying RJ is sexist. I am saying the way we use language and humor can be, often without the person's knowledge.

Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
The "South Park" episode that laughs at Scientology is 'offensive.' Does that mean that South Park is serious?

kbGGt_HI304 I wasn't talking about being offensive, so this seems unrelated.

CYA

Originally posted by Bardock42
I don't think that is in any way truth. For one I am a guy, and have not been subject to sexism. I can understand that women who are exposed to constant mistreatment and sexism may be sensitive, but that doesn't make them wrong, I'd propose that sensitivity rather comes from empathy, certain moral convictions and understanding of a certain situation.

You may be right that there are times when people are overly-sensitive, but it's not the case here. What is the case here is that rather than thinking about what has been said, people have a blind view of a feminist enemy and reply to that strawman rather than the subtle explanations I've been giving.




Oh right, I heard a good one "Women are all stupid, they are bitches and sluts, or if they aren't they are frigid cows, they are obsessed with fashion and shoes, if anything they can aspire a career in those useless soft sciences, maths or real science they could never do, which is good anyways cause they are only good for making dinner and popping out babies anyways. lol"

Saying it's a joke doesn't matter, what matters is the severity and maliciousness of the stereotypes the jokes are based on. We as people not believing these ignorant and disgusting stereotypes should do our best to avoid furthering their ubiquity, we should stand against them, avoid them ourselves and point them out when they are used.



Perhaps that is true, but are you going to say that has nothing to do with the people standing up for the issues? And could it not be faster.


You could just read what I said, rather than assuming and missing the topic of discussion by far. If you are still wondering about things after you read what was actually said I'll be glad to explain my point to you in a different manner if possible.

You are bringing up a good point though, about stereotypes being true, however the truth is that the stereotypes aren't (partly) true because that's a real difference between the sexes, rather they are indoctrinated into boys and girls from a young age. Which is part of the argument feminists try to make that the unequal indoctrination of the sexes should be stopped and not be furthered by our usage of language and humor. An that's what I've been saying, most people don't even notice. So, again, I am NOT saying RJ is sexist. I am saying the way we use language and humor can be, often without the person's knowledge.

I wasn't talking about being offensive, so this seems unrelated.

Oh please.

Eh.

Boobz.

Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
Oh please. Originally posted by ~Bun Bun~
Eh.

Boobz.
Haha, fair enough.

Something to think about though.

1.21 jiggawatts.

Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
Is this what everyone's dogging RJ for? Oh jeez, people make jokes like this all the time. Have people never heard jokes like that before? It's not something you say frequently, but it's a joke. Besides, sexist or not, our society has, and most likely always will, have a guideline for which the genders are looked at by. It's been around since the first civilization, and it's still going to happen.

To me, sexist would be "The girl can't play baseball because she's a girl," or "She's a girl, so she will immediately want *insert item or name here.*"
RJ wasn't stating "Anyone who acts like this is a woman" like a fact, but it was a joke. And label me sexist, but there is a level between both males and females where some stereotypes are at least 85% true. Most guys I know like to go home, turn on the TV, and eat some wings with no care of the outside world. Most girls I know either like to shop or despise it because of social norms. Now, if a guy overacts, it doesn't automatically mean all women do it, but it is open for a simple but funny joke. RJ wasn't being offensive, he was just being funny. He acted like a *****, so I treated him like a *****. I treat people as they treat me, and as they behave. If it looks/walks/talks like a duck, it's most likely a duck.

Originally posted by Bardock42
lol, thanks. Well I do get that, it's extremely preachy and somewhat self-righteous what I said. It's a hard topic to put into terms that don't sound judgmental though. Like I said, I don't want to blame RJ, I know he's a great guy and he doesn't mean it that way, and by no means do I want to put a spotlight on him, he's definitely not one of the worst doing that, most of us have and still do it. If anything I bring it up with RJ because I know that he is ultimately a good guy who doesn't mean it that way and won't take particular offense when I point it out.

Live in the ghetto for a while and you'll see it.

It's not that it's sexist, it's that there are hardly any ghetto gal that can resist turning into a ghetto hoochie mama when ever they get flustered. I've even seen high powered women from where I work (that are topped out in the salary bracket...you know where I work so you know what I mean) turn, immediately, into the ghetto hoochie mama whenever they get pissed. You can take the hoochie mamma out of the ghetto...and you can even teach her how to act like a businesswoman...but you can never take the ghetto hoochie mamma out of the woman. Well, I guess the same can be said of any major subculture: it's hard to get rid of your origins and where you grew up.


My point is, I do not see it as being even remotely sexist. For me, I see it is a strong attitude that "gets sh*t done" but is unsightly when done by a man in the work environment.



Originally posted by Bardock42
That's really what my last post before this one was trying to say, celebrating our differences is great, treating each other with respect is necessary in that way though. There are ways to go about it jokingly that are not negative at all. That don't lower ones standing to raise the others. What we say does mean something though, and being mindful of that is important, and recognizing the difference can be hard.

Calling attention to some women getting "bat sh*t crazy" during their period is not sexist, is it? Some women really do. If a person said that all women get like that, yes, that's sexist. But if the person said, "Some women get bat sh*t crazy during their periods" that's not sexist, that would be true.

Same with calling attention to IQ stats: saying that Sub Saharan Africans are, on average, possessing a lower IQ than any other race demographic is not racist: it's true. The sexism and racism comes in behind the "intentions" of the statements. I guess you could call it a form of "mens rea".


Frankly, I like the "differences" and I find womanly women quite attractive. That's sexist, right? facepalm



Originally posted by Bardock42
I did actually get that image from what he said (which I guess shows my indoctrination towards certain stereotypes, true as they may be) and you are very right that the heat of an argument is very different from something you'd say if you had time to think, but it doesn't change what I was saying.

It does change what you were saying: what you said he was saying was not what he was meaning or implied.



Originally posted by Bardock42
Well, actually this "chivalrous" mindset is in itself sexist, we can discuss that too if you'd like. But it would be good if you kept in mind that I don't think John is sexist as a person, what I think is that he (and many, many others on here including me) at times use sexist language and that we should all try to be more aware of it and change our speech where it is prejudiced or implicating harmful stereotypes.


LOL! That was my EXACT argument against it. hahahahahaha

I said that the "chivalrous" ideas were sexist in and of themselves. I asked why we shouldn't get to hit back women. He said, "beause they are weaker and smaller." Then I said this, "So if a shorter skinnier dude hits you, you can't hit him back by the same exact logic you can't hit a woman, right?"

"No. You can hit him back. He's a dude."

"No you can't, you just said that you wouldn't hit a women because she's weaker and smaller, so sex has nothing to do with it as your only reasons were the "weaker and smaller" aspects so it easily translates to any human that meets your criteria of weaker and smaller."


WEEEEEE!


Originally posted by Bardock42
I am not sure what Blax did get warned for, which is why I'd like to
know exactly, I certainly haven't taken offense to anything he said.

Using the "friendly" form of the "n-word."



Originally posted by Bardock42
I agree with DDM, you should show your boss, that guy is obviously unstable.

Indeed. He's going to get out of his car one night and get stabbed or beaten with a bat. Or worse: his tires slashed.




Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
Most guys I know like to go home, turn on the TV, and eat some wings with no care of the outside world.


HOLY SH*T! That's soooooo true!

I don't watch TV, but I'd love to eat some wings and watch a movie and Instant Netflix stuff. (Same thing, though.)

Now there's a black lady in the lobby, with alzheimer's, sleeping on the couch. She refuses to go to her room, which is ten feet away. She claims that someone came in through her window and stole her socks.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Now there's a black lady in the lobby, with alzheimer's, sleeping on the couch. She refuses to go to her room, which is ten feet away. She claims that someone came in through her window and stole her socks.


Get a big tube sock, put soap and flour in it, smack her on top of the head and pause for dramatic effect. Then triumphantly proclaim: "Homie don't play dat."

Nah, I'll just cum in them.

Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
Yeah, he deserves to be fired. He's a straight up dick, no doubt. It's not because he's gay, black, or ghetto, though, since I know someone that fits all of those descriptions, and he's a great guy. Those factors don't make someone bad, but I do know what you're trying to say. The dude you're working with was just one of those jerks who thinks that they're entitled to do whatever they want.

Is the great black gay ghetto guy the one pictured in your sig?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
He acted like a *****, so I treated him like a *****. I treat people as they treat me, and as they behave. If it looks/walks/talks like a duck, it's most likely a duck.

Okay, so treat him like he's a irritating guy that's complaining. Not like he's a woman for doing so.
***** is a derogatory word used almost solely for women, and when it's used in reference to males, is used to imply that the male is acting like a nasty woman.

Yes, there are some women out there who complain and are nasty. There are men who do the same thing. But what you're implying by saying "You're acting like a woman" is that complaining and nastiness are inherently female traits.

There's also the matter of saying that gay men and women are the same. Again, there are plenty of gay men that act in a typical "female" way, which is where the stereotype comes from, but there are also many who don't.
What Bardock42 is saying is that there are some things that it helps to poke fun at, but others that just propagate pre-existing stereotypes. And this is an example of the latter.

Nah, it was like talking to a scorned woman.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Nah, it was like talking to a scorned woman.

Hysterical, emotional, unreasonable? Typical female traits?

Originally posted by Bardock42
Hysterical, emotional, unreasonable? Typical female traits? You're missing the point. She was going off on me, pissing me off, so I said it to get under her skin.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
You're missing the point. She was going off on me, pissing me off, so I said it to get under her skin.

It's a guy. You keep feminising him and you keep attributing and evoking negative feelings towards femininity. Like I said, it's one thing to make a mistake in a heated discussion, to repeat it again and again and making worse comments does not have the same excuse.

So, no, I'm not missing the point, I just point out that it is sexist. I mean the way you explained it you are totally in the right and should get all sympathy and that guy is an *******, but with your stupid, sexist and anti-gay rhetoric you shine a bad light on yourself. They are different issues.

Originally posted by Bardock42
It's a guy. You keep feminising him and you keep attributing and evoking negative feelings towards femininity. Like I said, it's one thing to make a mistake in a heated discussion, to repeat it again and again and making worse comments does not have the same excuse.

So, no, I'm not missing the point, I just point out that it is sexist. I mean the way you explained it you are totally in the right and should get all sympathy and that guy is an *******, but with your stupid, sexist and anti-gay rhetoric you shine a bad light on yourself. They are different issues. I have no issues haermm

I referred to him as a she initially to get under his skin.

I now continue doing so because it's funny to watch others be offended by it. Anyone who really knows me knows that I hold women in higher esteem than I do men.

I just now read this thread. I think you were in the right, although there's a thing line between the Bro Code, and doing the right thing sometimes too. It could of went either way tbh. In the Army if one of us were to do something like that we would of been ****ed. Severely. In the ass. Like no other.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
I have no issues haermm

I referred to him as a she initially to get under his skin.

I now continue doing so because it's funny to watch others be offended by it. Anyone who really knows me knows that I hold women in higher esteem than I do men.

That too is sexist. But it is likely not true, it is likely a "higher esteem" based on the "lower, more vulnerable status" of women, which is just the opposite, which is a deeply ingrained sexism in our society.


I feel like I have to mention again that I don't mean to blame you, but can you see where i'm coming from?

Originally posted by Bardock42
That too is sexist. But it is likely not true, it is likely a "higher esteem" based on the "lower, more vulnerable status" of women, which is just the opposite, which is a deeply ingrained sexism in our society.


I feel like I have to mention again that I don't mean to blame you, but can you see where i'm coming from? Bewbz.

Had a conversation with my boss yesterday:

"So if I hadn't told you about him leaving, would you have found out?"

"Yes, I'm not stupid."

"And what would have happened?"

"I would have written you up, and your management training (coming in the spring) would have to wait another 6 months."




Yeah, I did the right thing.

cool, so you get to take management training in the spring eh?

Ish.

hire me, im great at cleaning toilets.

Wear an apron.

Originally posted by Crushed Orange
Is the great black gay ghetto guy the one pictured in your sig?

No, that's just me.

Nice fro.

Originally posted by Mr. Rhythmic
No, that's just me.

IT'S LIES! LIES I tell yas!

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
He acted like a *****, so I treated him like a *****. I treat people as they treat me, and as they behave. If it looks/walks/talks like a duck, it's most likely a duck.

"That's a goose, *******" LOL

Originally posted by Phoenix3068
"That's a goose, *******" LOL Not in my world.