Eli versus The Blues Brothers

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Rogue Jedi
Eli is transporting the book across the wasteland. He has God's divine protection, just as in his movie.

Little does he know that the Penguin has dispatched The Blues Brothers, in their Dodge Monaco, to find Eli, kill him, and take the book. They are, as in their movie, on a mission from God.


Eli has all his weapons. The Blues Brothers have two of the rifles that Jake's crazy fiancee had, half a pack of cigarettes, and a full tank of gas.

Who wins?

Impediment
Jake recruits the Rev. James Brown and encites Eli into a dancing frenzy.

Robtard
Taking the book is irrelevant, Eli is the book. Similar to Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451.

So we have Eli who can't be killed until he completes his mission from God and we have the Blues Brothers who can't be stopped from completing their mission from God. Stalemate.

It's God vs God, basically.

Rogue Jedi
Originally posted by Robtard
Taking the book is irrelevant, Eli is the book. Similar to Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451.

So we have Eli who can't be killed until he completes his mission from God and we have the Blues Brothers who can't be stopped from completing their mission from God. Stalemate.

It's God vs God, basically. If it's God vs God, then we gotta go with the Blues Brothers. They have automatic rifles and a car.

Robtard
Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
If it's God vs God, then we gotta go with the Blues Brothers. They have automatic rifles and a car.

Eli can't die until he completes his quest. So give the Blues Brothers a nuke, still not killing Eli.

Neither can complete their goal, B Bros can't be stopped in their mission to kill Eli and Eli can't be killed. Stalemate, or posisbly the universe implodes.

Rogue Jedi
I don't buy it.

Kaibs
You don't have to buy, it's the truth. Eli had the last bible for a reason, and it just happened to be in brail and he happened to be the only one to know it word for word. Until he completes his mission he will not die.

Like stated earlier, it's God vs God.

Rogue Jedi
So if Jake unloads in Eli's face, what then?

Kaibs
Eli wouldn't let that happen. He'd either dodge, or just straight up make sure Jake doesn't unload. Eli wasn't only protected by God, his heightened senses were crazy heightened. He wouldn't just stand there and take a machine gun blast to the face. Although if you're asking if he DID would he live? Since he's under God's Protection. I'd say yes. It would probably turn out that the bullets would just clip him or something.

Rogue Jedi
Hell, I guess the Saints could go toe to toe with him then.

Kaibs
Neither would die since they're both under God's protection. Lol if anything they'd just party together and help each other complete their original missions or something. I like the match up though. Good idea. Not idiotic like other ones lately.

Rogue Jedi
Team all 3 up against Manhattan?

Kaibs
Well, I have no idea how they'd beat Manhattan, and I know someone will come and say because he's Manhattan he'd beat the three. Although because of their protection from God, I have no idea if he could do anything to them until their missions were done. So who knows.

Rogue Jedi
Too bad Eli doesn't have avada kedavra. shifty

Kaibs
Oh God. Eli needs no such things. He has a bad ass knife and God on his side.

Rogue Jedi
Just saying, wouldn't avada kedavra end Manhattan?

Kaibs
I don't think he'd be affected by Harry Potter Magic, but who knows. Although he could blink voldy or hp away before they even thought of casting the spell.

Rogue Jedi
Maybe.

Robtard
Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Just saying, wouldn't avada kedavra end Manhattan?

Probably not, Vedit disintegrated him and he came back. He'd also knows his future, so no, it would never get that far.

Rogue Jedi
I think avada kedavra goes beyond just killing someone.

the ninjak
Blues Bros drive Eli to his mission after realising they got an ally in their midst.

Rogue Jedi
Eli is black. He'll carjack them, rape Carrie Fisher, then MAYBE finish the mission.

the ninjak
Eli can't drive and NOBODY carjacks the Bros.

Rogue Jedi
Eli's black, babe.

the ninjak
Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Eli's black, babe.

And blind.

Rogue Jedi
Double whammy.

the ninjak
I reckon they become pals. specially after a song and dance number.

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