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Had an email today from Mrs.MM with these descriptions.....

>>> MEN'S NAMES
>>>
>>>
>>>Ashley - wanker who's losing his hair.
>>>Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff
>>>Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, has the potential to be
>>>stalked
>>>Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
>>>Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
>>>Alex - cute and short but a liar and a cheat.
>>>Amir - dirty, smelly, pecker is minuscule.
>>>Andrew/Andy - gay and has a small pecker.
>>>Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin and chicken brain.
>>>Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of wee.
>>>Arnold - loser. Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.
>>>Barry - lights fires, pinches girl's bottoms and is well hung.
>>>Ben - stud, hung like a shetland pony.
>>>Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.
>>>Bod - see Matthew
>>>Brad thinks everyone likes him...but they don't.
>>>Brandon - good looking but uses girls.
>>>Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
>>>Brett - worldwide **** and really insensitive, women love him.
>>>Brian - a wanna be charmer, he's not the Messiah he's just a
>>>very,very naughty boy.
>>>Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.
>>>Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.
>>>Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.
>>>Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him
>>>within a week.
>>>Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Gemini.
>>>Cameron - Australian.
>>>Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex.
>>>Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.
>>>Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American
>>>movies, no real person has that name.
>>>Charles/Charlie - can't trust him, eyes too close together.
>>>Chris/Christopher - can't pull, will pay for women, but has a huge
>>>pecker and can use it too.
>>>Christian - very sexy and seductive.
>>>Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.
>>>Cliff - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.
>>>Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around.
>>>Colin - lies to women and blows up public buildings.
>>>Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.
>>>Craig - tries to fit in - he never does.
>>>Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.
>>>Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.
>>>Dane - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.
>>>Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every orifice, highly
>>>homosexual.
>>>Darren - charming, but sleeps with men.
>>>Daryl - smells bad, has no real mates
>>>David - hottie and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence.
>>>Can be gay!!
>>>Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish,
>>>trendsetter i.e. a wanker.
>>>Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.
>>>Dennis - either very nice to girls or a ******.
>>>Derek - has a great sense of humour, and blow-up doll collection.
>>>Dominic -hilarious and will do anything to please.
>>>Don - dickhead.
>>>Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.
>>>Drew - bad-arse loser who never shuts up.
>>>Duncan - hopeless ski bum, brains shot away long ago.
>>>Dylan - horny bastard, who can't sing.
>>>Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
>>>Eddie - Vain, hairstyle more important than oxygen. Usually found
>>>hanging around toilets
>>>Edward - wants too many chicks he'll never get 'cos he's an
>>>arsehole.
>>>Elliott - full of himself.
>>>Eric - shy.
>>>Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patient.
>>>Fraser/Frazer - sucks pig's dicks & swallows the lot.
>>>Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight.
>>>Gary - drug addict but willing to share.
>>>Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.
>>>Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
>>>George - barman who drinks more than he serves.
>>>Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth.
>>>Graeme - very hard to understand, likes group sex.
>>>Graham - will screw anything.
>>>Grant - HORNY! But so sweet and you can talk to him about
>>>anything.
>>>Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.
>>>Harry - covers his back.
>>>Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.
>>>Hathem - smooth, but manipulative, not to bet trusted around young
>>>girls.
>>>Haydn - tries hard
>>>Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography.
>>>Ian - really popular but knows all the girls want him...yeah
>>>right!!!
>>>Ivor - militant psychopath with homosexual tendencies.
>>>Jake - shy and sweet but a **** when drunk.
>>>Jamie - scum of the earth.
>>>James - built like a horse.
>>>Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.
>>>Jeff - really ugly.
>>>Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.
>>>Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.
>>>Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.
>>>Jack - stupid but hot, always alright.
>>>Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.
>>>Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.
>>>Joel - arse.
>>>John/Jon - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals.
>>>Jolyon - absolute raving homosexual.
>>>Jonathon - loud, sex mad and great with it - can be full of
>>>himself.
>>>Jordan - sexy but weird in bed.
>>>Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
>>>Josh - full of himself, fun.
>>>Junior - hottie and totally good at football.
>>>Justin - aggravating but lovable, insecure but successful.
>>>Judith - Eats a lot, likes to feel superior
>>>Kain - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.
>>>Kevin - always attracts really fit girlfriends also has a large
>>>penis, really nice to women.
>>>Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is
>>>worse.
>>>Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.
>>>Kurt - can kick anyone's arse.
>>>Kyle - hornball who eats too many corn chips
>>>Lance - Plays with his penis cos no one else will
>>>Larry - cute but wannabe player with big arse.
>>>Laurey/Laurie - short and funny looking.
>>>Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total arse bandit.
>>>Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser.
>>>Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub.
>>>Liam - loud mouthed arsehole.
>>>Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.
>>>Lucas - fat loser that dates other men.
>>>Luke - seems to be sweet. bit of a tosser though
>>>Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.
>>>Matthew/Matt - wished girls liked him for who he is not his great
>>>looks, mouthy bastard though.
>>>Mark - Likes sweets
>>>Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl.
>>>Mick - always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.
>>>Mike - stupid alcoholic who has gay tendencies
>>>Mohammed - small penis
>>>Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.
>>>Nick - nice -can't get past the missionary position though.
>>>Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in
>>>bed.
>>>Oliver - likes men but is in denial.
>>>Oscar - loser.
>>>Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
>>>Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.
>>>Paul - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays.
>>>Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.
>>>Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.
>>>Richard - can't see his feet as balls are too big
>>>Ricky - ugly shithead who everybody hates.
>>>Rob - constantly watches porn.
>>>Robin - great lover but had his mind stolen by aliens a long, long
>>>time ago.
>>>Roy - total loser and computer genius.
>>>Rupert - arrogant **** who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.
>>>Russell - likes to play in the leaves, which makes him an
>>>arsehole.
>>>Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind.
>>>Sam - wannabe sex machine.
>>>Scott - has serious disabilities. also takes it up the butt
>>>Sean - has small testicles and no friends.
>>>Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.
>>>Shane -thinks everybody wants to shag him - he's a virgin.
>>>Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the
>>>world.
>>>Shaun - bit of a hard bastard, thinks women love him.
>>>Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Some say he
>>>is the man but talks bollocks.
>>>Spencer - loves it right up there, normally with a toilet roll and
>>>a hamster
>>>Steve/Steven/Stephen - fat and horny with the best XXX collection
>>>to be found.
>>>Stuart - droll guy with great arse and suicidal tendencies but
>>>great in bed.
>>>Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is
>>>Toby - best blow ever.
>>>Tom - cool but can be arrogant.
>>>Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around.
>>>Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
>>>Troy - cute and popular.
>>>Taylor - gay.
>>>Warren - cool, homosexual guy.
>>>Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate.
>>>Will - wishes he were popular.
>>>Zach - sweet and polite and adorable.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>

>>>WOMEN'S NAMES
>>>
>>>Ada - blue haired, smells of wee.
>>>Alexandra - laughs like a demented dog, likes tic tacs.
>>>Alice - wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.
>>>Alison - bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the
>>>light off
>>>Amanda - I.Q. tends to be smaller than bra size. Probably a good
>>>shag though.
>>>Amy - Devious, likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to
>>>be trusted.
>>>Andrea - Small breasts, drinks pints.
>>>Annabelle - Doesn't wear knickers.
>>>Annette - She's BIG.
>>>Anna - Looks like a horse, can't drive.
>>>Barbara - Shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance.
>>>Belinda - Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good
>>>points.
>>>Beryl - Repressed alcoholic
>>>Beverley - Trapped in an eighties timewarp.
>>>Bianca - Ginger.
>>>Bridgette - Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
>>>Britney - Falsely improved, no use to society.
>>>Camilla -replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.
>>>Carla - Looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow
>>>Caroline - Lard arse, shaves her ears.
>>>Catherine - Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
>>>Claire/Clare - Perfect in every way and a complete sex goddess,
>>>shouldn't be left alone for too long.
>>>Celine - Emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.
>>>Charlotte - Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.
>>>Cheryl - Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.
>>>Christine - Likes men in uniform, never warm.
>>>Daisy - Virgin.
>>>Danni - Should make nice threesome with sibling.
>>>Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.
>>>Dawn - Gets up early, smells of chips.
>>>Deborah - Bites the pillow, uses both hands.
>>>DeeDee - cannot understand why no one else masturbates in Ikea.
>>>Denise - Sits on cat's eyes, wears too much make up.
>>>Diane - Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing
>>>to society.
>>>Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.
>>>Doris - Purple haired, stinks of wee.
>>>Elaine - Rides sidesaddle, drinks metho.
>>>Elizabeth - Born to perform, hates chickens.
>>>Ellie - Far too attractive for the swear words that come out of
>>>her mouth.
>>>Emma - Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!
>>>Estelle - Likes wombles, eats grass.
>>>Esther - Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
>>>Faith - Legs meet at knees, can't shag standing up.
>>>Faye - Wears wellies, can't swim.
>>>Felicity - She'll stab you with her nipples, plays darts
>>>Fiona - Female mud wrestler, gives head.
>>>Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
>>>Gayleen - Big tall woman who talks shite all day
>>>Gaynor - Lesbian.
>>>Gemma - Easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear.
>>>Loves kittens.
>>>Geraldine - Too posh for her own good, likes flying.
>>>Gina - Eternal mother, eats nappies
>>>Glenda - Eats children, hates smoking.
>>>Georgina - Dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.
>>>Gwyneth - Blubs a lot, wees in the bath
>>>Hannah - Loves sleeping and alcohol. Work shy.
>>>Heather - Shags like a freight train, a screamer.
>>>Helen - Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs
>>>Heidi - The hills are alive with the sound of music, likes
>>>gherkins.
>>>Hilary - Frigid.
>>>Holly - Prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.
>>>Imogen - Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
>>>Ingrid - Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
>>>Jackie - Heroin addict, sold her child
>>>Janet - Massive over bite, no neck.
>>>Jane - Babe, I'd drink her bath water.
>>>Jasmin - Smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.
>>>Jemma - Wears white stilettos and wears too much eye make-up.
>>>Jennifer - Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
>>>Jessica - Virgin, always will be.
>>>Joanne - Moans in her sleep, cant cook, moans when she wakes up!
>>>Judith - Big eyes, big ****
>>>Judy - Huge ****, married to an arse.
>>>Julia - Innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet
>>>in five minutes
>>>Justine- Massive ****, likes hanging around men's toilets.
>>>Julie - Jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant.
>>>Karen - Huge ****, shags like a rabbit.
>>>Katie - Big feet, shags men over 50
>>>Kate - talks complete bollocks all the time, scavenger.
>>>Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
>>>Kimberley - wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a
>>>bloke, and wears a wig.
>>>Kirsten - Likes doggy style doesn't do housework.
>>>Kirsty - Eats live moles, can't dance.
>>>Kylie - Can't sing but who cares.
>>>Lana - Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.
>>>Lara - Action packed, never seen naked.
>>>Laura - Likes Max power magazine, can't drive.
>>>Lauren - Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.
>>>Leah - Likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.
>>>Lena - Eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.
>>>Leslie - Likes bondage, hates men.
>>>Linda - Teenage bride, can swallow oranges whole.
>>>Lisa - Will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.
>>>Liz - Long legged and brainey.
>>>Lorraine - Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of
>>>jellybabies
>>>Louise/a - Likes to get around, saggy ****.
>>>Lucy - Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.
>>>Madeline - Drives like a bloke, likes tractors.
>>>Maggie - Trainspotter, likes plaid.
>>>Margaret - Lovely mother, very generous.
>>>Maria - Bangs like a barn door.
>>>Marie - Life's slapper. Likes men to do DIY.
>>>Marina - No get up and go, rusty underwear.
>>>Marilyn - Eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.
>>>Martina - Ugly lesbian
>>>Martine - Can't act, can't sing, nice ****.
>>>Matilda - Likes dancing, mainly the waltz.
>>>Megan - Cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S
>>>Melanie - Can hold two bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
>>>Melissa - Eats dogs, been in prison 6 times for burglary.
>>>Meryl - Dances like an ape, doesn't realise.
>>>Michaela - Likes animals, should make a video with them.
>>>Michelle - Doesn't swallow, should have.
>>>Marsha - Big butt, small brain.
>>>Monica - Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag
>>>Naomi - Wannabe diva, more of a diver.
>>>Nancy - White hair, remembers manners.
>>>Natalie - Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
>>>Natasha - Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.
>>>Nell - Hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.
>>>Nicola - Slapper, alcoholic in denial
>>>Nina - Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
>>>Olga - You can park a bike in her arsecrack, excessive facial
>>>hair.
>>>Olivia - Neutron bombho ta
>>>Pamela - Gives amazing head, made of plastic.
>>>Pat - Butt ugly lesbian.
>>>Paula - Transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.
>>>Penelope - Pit stop queen, likes men to be stiff.
>>>Phillippa - Forest forager, likes wild boar.
>>>Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.
>>>Rachel - Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her
>>>arsecheeks.
>>>Rebecca - Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
>>>Rosie - Can be prickly, good head giver.
>>>Rula - She measures up well.
>>>Sadie - Stand up if you're slim, please stand up.
>>>Sally - Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
>>>Samantha - Loves her brother, has four deformed children.
>>>Sandra - Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged
>>>Sarah - Hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves
>>>porn.
>>>Selina - Doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.
>>>Sharon - Shags like a locomotive, yo-yo knickers.
>>>Shirley - Can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
>>>Sian - Does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.
>>>Simone - Used to be a shot putter from Cardiff.
>>>Sonya - Dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a carrier"
>>>Sophie - Brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset.
>>>Stacey - Likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's.
>>>Steffi - Closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for
>>>effect.
>>>Stephanie - Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
>>>Sue - totally gorgeous!!
>>>Tanya - Hot minx, too short.
>>>Tara - Upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals.
>>>Tina - Face like a smacked arse, should eat less.
>>>Tracey - Lesbian.
>>>Ursula - Likes puppies... in curry.
>>>Vanessa - Lives in a hedge, can't water ski.
>>>Vicky- Likes Yoga and Women.
>>>Wendy - Possibly a man.
>>>Zoe - Talentless rock chick.

Disclaimer: None of the above is the opinion of Mr or Mrs Mechmoggy

Fave: Dawn - Gets up early!

My..... impressive.

There are a few British celebrity references which most may not get, also I spotted a few Brit Soap Opera refernces too.

Also this Aussie Soap Opera ref:

Danni - Should make nice threesome with sibling.

****n' sick

as you

Language!

Touch a raw nerve did it Scott?

*Goes back to check*

hm, no match, I'll guess I'll go for Matt/Matthew then..closest

*points at queeq and laughs*

my name's not on there...and if you say Vicky I'll smack ya!

mine aint in lol

Mines spot on......apart from the love of girls named Florence and the gay thing.

mine aint there but for what its worth the real meaning of my real name is,( almost impossible to translate norse into modern languages),
ancestors forfathers . It has to do with keeping the tradition, that would be a more rightful translation for it.

Mine is almost right except for the drug being alcohol and caffeine

I like my one, if you use my full name.

My names meaning doesn't fit my personality... as for Bad boy's (kevin) he'd be lucky!

likes golf and war over sex and peace. hmmmm...........

Ha! I knew it!

the sweetest guy - really down to earth.

my name isn't on the list....my luck.And I really don't know how to translate it.....

Oh, so we're not to call you Mike anymore.....