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2011. New York.

A fissure in space and time opens up in the New York theater and all the iterations of Jean Claude Van Damme there have been, spill out of the rift, reorientate and gather, running out of the cinema to Times Square..


Just after this, All of the Arnold Schwarzenegger characters with all their gear emerge and similarly to the VDs gather, and run out of the cinema....they see the VDs, and a ultrasonic voice rings out in the heads of both parties:

It tells them that they must do battle until one side is victorious when the other side is dead.

Who wins this epic showdown of two of the greatest action stars..?
Who will be forced to go home wearing their of ass, as a hat?
Who's puns will be worst?

I looked at their filmographies; they're close in the amount of rolls they've played.

Arnold has:

-3 Terminator versions, 4 if we count the CGI in the last film.
-Mr. Freeze
-Conan
-About 6 military bad-asses (eg Dutch, Commando, Red Heat)
-He played some version of Hercules (never seen)
-Bunch other capable fools in varying degrees of bad-assery.
-A few non factors thrown in, ie himself in Pumping Iron, the guy from Jingle All The Way etc.

Jean-Claude has:
-3(soon to be 4) Universal Soldiers
-Bunch of mostly/capable fighters and/or gun-men.
-2-3 non factors, such as his cameo in Breakin', himself in JCVD and possibly the gay martial artist.


All in all, the Terminators would likely be too much for the Van Dammes. Time-Cop might be a tide-turning factor if he's allowed to time-travel.

Arnold's puns certainly will win the cheese-factor.

He can.

I'd like to see how that plays out against the terminators.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
He can.

I'd like to see how that plays out against the terminators.

In that case, Walker goes back in time, finds Miles Dyson's father when he's still a kid and does a splits/uppercut to the nuts combo, thereby making Miles' father sterile; erasing Mile's from ever existing and thereby erasing the Skynet project.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_WEe8D_Zrbps/TJ-3AlTjkXI/AAAAAAAAAjs/LCepIRscuxE/s400/timecop29.jpg

Originally posted by Robtard
In that case, Walker goes back in time, finds Miles Dyson's father when he's still a kid and does a splits/uppercut to the nuts combo, thereby making Miles' father sterile; erasing Mile's from ever existing and thereby erasing the Skynet project.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_WEe8D_Zrbps/TJ-3AlTjkXI/AAAAAAAAAjs/LCepIRscuxE/s400/timecop29.jpg

"Judgement day is inevitable", from ROTM, remember?

What if Skynet gathers knowledge of this and goes back in time to Timecops' great-grandad, and catchs him in mid splits with the same grab that ripped out Bill Paxton's heart in T1, and crushes his beanbag like it was sponge...? Skynet is shown to get created in all realities almost as an inevitable penalty for man's habit of centralising with technology.

can't we just wait until arnold resumes the terminator role? lol

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
"Judgement day is inevitable", from ROTM, remember?

Judgement Day never faced the combined might of several mullets doing the splits.

Originally posted by Robtard
Judgement Day never faced the combined might of several mullets doing the splits. Even McClane couldn't have stopped judgement day. If something is inevitable, no one can stop it.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
What if Skynet gathers knowledge of this and goes back in time to Timecops' great-grandad, and catchs him in mid splits with the same grab that ripped out Bill Paxton's heart in T1, and crushes his beanbag like it was sponge...? Skynet is shown to get created in all realities almost as an inevitable penalty for man's habit of centralising with technology.

I thought of that as I was typing my previous comment, as a time-counter to the time-counter, but Skynet is 0-3 in the game of going back in time and trying to kill someone's parents/them as a kid.

So it's likely that Walker's great-grandad's boy-bag is safe. Though not certain.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Even McClane couldn't have stopped judgement day. If something is inevitable, no one can stop it.

Well then, the Terminators are likely too much for team Van-Damme, as noted.

Originally posted by Robtard
I thought of that as I was typing my previous comment, as a time-counter to the time-counter, but Skynet is 0-3 in the game of going back in time and trying to kill someone's parents/them as a kid.

So it's likely that Walker's great-grandad's boy-bag is safe. Though not certain. 0-3 when the resistance was involved. The resistance is not involved here.

Originally posted by Robtard
Well then, the Terminators are likely too much for team Van-Damme, as noted. Unless team VD has some explosives to do them in. Did they?


Eraser Ahnuld is gonna wreck shop here with his twin rail guns.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Unless team VD has some explosives to do them in. Did they?


Eraser Ahnuld is gonna wreck shop here with his twin rail guns.

Van Damme has used explosives in several films. There's four Terminators though.

While saying "you're luggage".

Does Harry Tasker get the backing of his agency?

No idea; all I know for certain, this guy is ****ed:

http://a302.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/66/l_5626cc15a6f00b7c0c53b79e0577153d.gif

Up to sadako I guess, if the combatants get the full backing of their agencies.

could time cop go to skynet as depicted in terminator salvation and destroy the terminator from there so he can't travel through time?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Up to sadako I guess, if the combatants get the full backing of their agencies.

Fully ungimped. I guess they can act in the same largely advisory role they have in the True Lies movie.

Originally posted by Robtard
No idea; all I know for certain, this guy is ****ed:

http://a302.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/66/l_5626cc15a6f00b7c0c53b79e0577153d.gif



A T800 versus him would be like this:
E5L97Pc0aUk

Hahaha, loved how the skinny bully hit him full on and the fatty barely noticed.

His head was rocked... I think he lost it when the jabs to the body and nuts were bought in.

Head did move; he didn't seem all too bothered by it though.

Thats the Mcclane factor right there.

Now one might judge it a win for the bully, as he struck first, made contact 5 times, and out flashed the guy with footwork too, plays to a crowd etc (he only lacked a mullet).....

But logic and reason would have the guy who was able to walk away as opposed to the guy who's legs're now where his ass used to be. "McWin" we must say.

Indeed, flash may convince the fools. But the end results are what matters.

Its just lucky for that bullykid that that that big kid didn't have an SUV.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Its just lucky for that bullykid that that that big kid didn't have an SUV.

Indeed, kid was lucky.

I'd imagine it's going to be difficult explaining to his mum why there's a grapefruit-sided bruise on his ass/thigh, let alone trying to explain why there's a Ford Explorer's front bumper lodged firmly up his ass.

"Mom, I swear, I wasn't picking on the fat kid again, it happened in gym class, I slipped and a bumper just flew into my ass."

Better than than a Hummer, I guess.

It looked like leg fractures at least in one of his left lower-legs as it was slammed into the wall at that nasty ass angle...

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Fully ungimped. I guess they can act in the same largely advisory role they have in the True Lies movie. So Tom Arnold in the house?

Hes in the van, with headset on.