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Cobretti versus McClane. Three scenarios:

1: Gunfight. Cobra is armed with his .45 and his machine gun. McClane is armed with his Beretta and his MP-5. Fight takes place in a closed grocery store at noon.

2. H2H combat. No weapons. No zippos. No SUV's. No Crown Vics, nothing. Fight takes place in a professional boxing ring.

3. Vehicular combat. Cobra is in his hot rod, and is armed with the weapons from scenario one. McClane is in a vehicle identical to Cobra's, and is also armed with the weapons from scenario one.





Have at it.

1. Both have excellent aim. But I've seen Cobra throw a knife in a dudes neck before he could get a shot in. Cobra doesn't miss either.

2. Cobra kicks McClane so hard he bounces off the ropes and back into a clothesline. Beatdown commences.

3. Cobra in a horrible stomp. Cobra gets the lead on McClane, does a 180 spin then while driving in reverse blows the crap out of John.
Then does another 180, uses nitros and flies into the sunset.

haermm

1. Cobra, for the reasons ninjak stated.

2. Cobra, 7/10.

3. McClane I think, 7/10.

Love Marion Cobretti, but McClane takes both contests. McClane can use anything as a weapon. And as kewl of a Merc that Cobra had, he drove it into a boat while McClane took out a helicoptor.

Which is why Mac takes 3. 1 and 2 go to Cobra though.

McClane had to get Samuel Jackson to take some kind of brake pin out of his car then use the rains slipperiness to take down the goons behind him. In DieHard with a Vengeance.

Cobra just did it using skill alone.

McClane's Helicopter feat was a luck/advantageous situation that Cobra would have mimicked if in the same situation.......but better!....and to a thumping 80's soundtrack.

First 20 seconds ftw!
RQ2hLSmJ9G0

Agreed.

1. Cobra

2. Cobra

3. Cobra

McClane could still hang with Cobra, in all three scenarios. (Unlike Riggs) you tried gimping McClane of all screen feats as usual, but you forgot the most important assets of all: His unknockoutableness, his unkillability as seen in 4 (soon to be six) movies. Cobra gets raped hard aginst Mcclane in a vehicle.

Cobra has survived one movie.

I gimped nothing. I placed them on an even playing field. Quote the specific part of the OP where I gimped McClane.

Taking away Zippos crown vics etc, like it was meant to somehow impede McClane.

Still nice to see you've leapt back into ultra serious mode.

So McClane needs that shit in order to kick ass. K.

I took that shit away to make it an even playing field. I even gave McClane a vehicle on par with Cobra's. You want him facing Cobra in a crown vic?

But hey, go ahead and place an SUV, a Crown Vic and a zippo in the boxing ring. Have at it, champ.

Nope. Your uber seriousness of coruse blinds you to all possiblity of humourous meaning in that post.

Champ? lol

You are soooooooooooooooooooooo butthurt beyond all comprehension that you in fact no longer have an arse.

Im going to go away now and laugh at your hilarious attempt to 'bait and troll'....

(Safe and snug in the knowledge that you just cried over McClane again.)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Cozy.

How am I butthurt? By creating a thread where two combatants are on an even playing field?

What's gimped about this? Give Mac his zippo, place an SUV in the ring, hell, place it next to an elevator shaft. Knock yourself out, duder. Did you miss the part where I gave Mac a car like Cobra's? How's that gimping?

Butthurt cause of your massive McGrudge in the past, and the overseriousness of your reaction to my post.

Gimping cause you felt the need to exclude objects which were pretty much taken for granted as being not there in a boxing.

Or were you just having a bait/dig....?

Errrrrrrrrrrrr K.


I think this:




Originally posted by the ninjak
1. Both have excellent aim. But I've seen Cobra throw a knife in a dudes neck before he could get a shot in. Cobra doesn't miss either.

2. Cobra kicks McClane so hard he bounces off the ropes and back into a clothesline. Beatdown commences.

3. Cobra in a horrible stomp. Cobra gets the lead on McClane, does a 180 spin then while driving in reverse blows the crap out of John.
Then does another 180, uses nitros and flies into the sunset.

Sums it up quite nicely.

McClane has super-aim, hitting that thin cable with a snubnose gun and all. McClane takes it.

McClane isn't a fancy fighter but he gets the job done, He doesn't rely on energy and time consuming fancy kicks where the villain stands and waits for contact. He just beats ass the old fashioned way and has a iron chin. Which is what he'd do here, beat midget ass.

Hahahahaaa? Do I even need to get into what McClane can do with a car? McClane wins this, easy.

Mac had loads of time to aim for that shot. Not the kind of time he'll have here.

Also not sure how well he could handle Cobra's twin car.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Mac had loads of time to aim for that shot. Not the kind of time he'll have here.

Also not sure how well he could handle Cobra's twin car.

He's still a solid shot and he's taken out tougher opponents than midget-boy. Edge still to McClane.

It looks like a modded 49' Mercury Coupe, what's so hard to handle? It's a car with basic car controls.

Just saying, he didn't display any uber marksmanship beyond that line shot.

No, dude. It's a hot rod with nitrous. You ever drive a car like that? They handle alot different than a crown vic.

Originally posted by Robtard
McClane has super-aim, hitting that thin cable with a snubnose gun and all. McClane takes it.


If you are talking about the shot at the end of Die Hard 3. I am pretty sure McClane hit a relay or power box of some sort, that upon exploding dislodged the cable.

No I am pretty sure he hit the cable itself. Youtubing now.

Oh SHIT you're right!!! FF to 2:11. TWO shots, and he didn't hit the line itself!!!

uQ2rWnMmlZU

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Oh SHIT you're right!!! FF to 2:11. TWO shots, and he didn't hit the line itself!!!

uQ2rWnMmlZU

Thank you for finding it. I was having trouble tracking it down on Youtube.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
McClane could still hang with Cobra,..... you forgot the most important assets of all: His unknockoutableness,....


He appeared to lose consciousness briefly in Die Hard 3 when he fell on to the ships and for a moment during the fight on the ship and again was or so it seemed briefly out after getting kicked out the window in Die Hard 4. So he can be knocked out, just not for very long and only under extreme circumstances.

He seemed winded. Not unconscious.

Which, of course, you would be after a fall like that.

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
He seemed winded. Not unconscious.

Which, of course, you would be after a fall like that.

The lack of movement beyond a small twitch, the no talking, the shut eyes etc. Indicates he was briefly out/walking up when we see him again, after the fall.

Originally posted by Riot-Gear
Thank you for finding it. I was having trouble tracking it down on Youtube.

AHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAAA so much for the wire feat.

Cobra throws a knife in him then blows him away.

Cobra also took down large legions of gun totting psychopaths on multiple occasions.

Originally posted by the ninjak
AHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAAA so much for the wire feat.

Cobra throws a knife in him then blows him away.

Cobra also took down large legions of gun totting psychopaths on multiple occasions. Took them head on.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Took them head on.

Cobra doesn't need cover. He invented Gunkata.

Put Cobra inside Nakatomi, and shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Not pretty.

Taking on Hans' calculating Gang head on= Death of Cobra/and or hostages.

I think Cobra would indeed kick some ass quite spectacularly before the inevitable happened though.

You just cant put the douchegoons Cobra faced on the same tier as Han's gang.

Cobra was part of the Zombie Squad.

Their job kill mofos and ask questions later. He had a license to kill.
If he was in Nakatomi I can't see things turning out too differently.
And lets get real Hans should've started killing hostages much earlier not that McClane would've changed his tactics anyways. Neither would Cobra.

GONZALES: He looks like a fugitive from the 50s but he sure is great at catching Psychos. He’s a part of the Zombie Squad.
INGRID: What’s the Zombie Squad?
GONZALES: The bottom line.

That thrown knife wasn't so special if you factor in the guy he hit was a insane goon and Cobra was talking to him/distracting him and set him up for the hit. So if Cobra is bringing in a knife instead of a gun in the first round, he does down even harder to McClane's guns.

Zombie Squad is just a name, Cobra takes on street-goons and lunatics, McClane takes down high-end mercs, special ops, military etc. There's no comparison here, McClane's bad-guys uber> anyone Cobra killed.

The bad guys are circumstantial.

Guns. McClane is a cover man who thumps bullets after careful consideration. Cobra has Rambo supernatural aim and immunity. Though in the supermarket scene he showed cover stealth tactics as well so WINNING!

H2H. McClane gets close and uses his adversaries weapons against them. The elevator scene is a perfect example. Cobra has huge impact damage that sends dudes flying back especially with his kicks and if he holds them he smacks dudes into submission.

Car. I've already proven Cobra can pull off feats that McClane needed help plus environment to achieve. Whereas Cobra did it with skill. Plus he knows his own car!

Originally posted by the ninjak
The bad guys are circumstantial.

Guns. McClane is a cover man who thumps bullets after careful consideration. Cobra has Rambo supernatural aim and immunity. Though in the supermarket scene he showed cover stealth tactics as well so WINNING!

H2H. McClane gets close and uses his adversaries weapons against them. The elevator scene is a perfect example. Cobra has huge impact damage that sends dudes flying back especially with his kicks and if he holds them he smacks dudes into submission.

Car. I've already proven Cobra can pull off feats that McClane needed help plus environment to achieve. Whereas Cobra did it with skill. Plus he knows his own car!

No, bad guys matter, it'sa factor of skill level. Trying to ignore it now cos midget-boy just fought street-trash is lame.

Yeah, no. That guy in the market was a lunatic and an idiot. That was nothing special, throwing a can to distract and such.

Hahahahahaha, McClane has super-human durability, dude. He does and survives scenes that would shred a normal human. Cobra can only beat on McClane; in the end, McClane breaks his midget neck.

Yeah, no. McClane is the car master, we last saw in DH4 how he can evade helicopter fire from above while keeping his cool and setting up the bad-guys for a fall.

Originally posted by the ninjak
The bad guys are circumstantial.

Guns. McClane is a cover man who thumps bullets after careful consideration. Cobra has Rambo supernatural aim and immunity. Though in the supermarket scene he showed cover stealth tactics as well so WINNING!

H2H. McClane gets close and uses his adversaries weapons against them. The elevator scene is a perfect example. Cobra has huge impact damage that sends dudes flying back especially with his kicks and if he holds them he smacks dudes into submission.

Car. I've already proven Cobra can pull off feats that McClane needed help plus environment to achieve. Whereas Cobra did it with skill. Plus he knows his own car!

Not always: Look at the crazy spreads of fire on the roof and in the computer room.

He calculates when needed: At other times he sprays and runs. (After hitting targets, usually.)

H2H Cobra smacks REGULAR guys into submission...yes.
This says nothing of smacking McClane level characters into submission. That Russian Guy from 3, Stewart, or even Karl would most likely kick Cobra's ass.

No car functions in a vacuum from the environment in which it travels. McClane just displayed mastery of his environment.

Originally posted by the ninjak
Cobra doesn't need cover. He invented Gunkata.


McClane seems to like being shot...he even shoots himself on occasions, as proved by DH4.0...

So why would he hide? Nothin on screen to suggest that bullets can kill him.

(A little bloodloss isnt gonna bother the man who bled like twice his bodyweight in Nakatomi, whilst still pwning Hans' boys.)

McClane probably has more blood than Cobra does, too...given the midget levels of height feats.

And he'd be:

A) Much funnier when joking about it
B) Verbally understandable in the first place.

Yes, McClane even pwns Cobra at speaking.

Originally posted by the ninjak
Cobra was part of the Zombie Squad.

Their job kill mofos and ask questions later. He had a license to kill.
If he was in Nakatomi I can't see things turning out too differently.
And lets get real Hans should've started killing hostages much earlier not that McClane would've changed his tactics anyways. Neither would Cobra.

GONZALES: He looks like a fugitive from the 50s but he sure is great at catching Psychos. He’s a part of the Zombie Squad.
INGRID: What’s the Zombie Squad?
GONZALES: The bottom line. 100% correct.

What is this thread? I don't even.


Cobra utterly rapes the shit out of McClane. Better damage soak...faster...smarter...more resourceful...better shot...better h2h...hotter bitches....n'stuff.

Originally posted by dadudemon
What is this thread? I don't even.


Cobra utterly rapes the shit out of McClane. Better damage soak...faster...smarter...more resourceful...better shot...better h2h...hotter bitches....n'stuff. Better hairline.

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Better hairline.

True...but I'm not gay so I didn't notice until you pointed it out.



I left one out: in better shape, is stronger, and faster.


Man, Cobra baaaaaaaapes.

Originally posted by dadudemon
True...but I'm not gay so I didn't notice until you pointed it out.



I left one out: in better shape, is stronger, and faster.


Man, Cobra baaaaaaaapes. Rapity rapes.

Originally posted by dadudemon
What is this thread? I don't even.


Cobra utterly rapes the shit out of McClane. Better damage soak...faster...smarter...more resourceful...better shot...better h2h...hotter bitches....n'stuff.

Nahhhhh...

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Yes, McClane even pwns Cobra at speaking.

No he F'n does not! Call the F'n Cobra!

pbiP2dyOLho

YES! This is where the law stops. And I start. Then he beats the shit outa the freak and rips his spine into a hook and sends him into the fires of Hades.

All i heard was:
5) Goooahheeheeheeeeerrd ahhhfdskfkfbopsshere...

4) I cannntntdo thahahahahahhhhrrhrrt, I bdsdfayfydftysdcf pshsahoos I piououtmmmmewaay

3) youurrrrrrehhhhddziiiiiishzhszhszhszs aummmmmmmmmmmm dechhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrr

2) The only person less able to speak than Stallone.

1) tHississisisweeeeL-Looohohhhhhhhh stops and I sssydyuf yufyufefklfjkf

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
All i heard was:
5) Goooahheeheeheeeeerrd ahhhfdskfkfbopsshere...

4) I cannntntdo thahahahahahhhhrrhrrt, I bdsdfayfydftysdcf pshsahoos I piououtmmmmewaay

3) youurrrrrrehhhhddziiiiiishzhszhszhszs aummmmmmmmmmmm dechhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrr

2) The only person less able to speak than Stallone.

1) tHississisisweeeeL-Looohohhhhhhhh stops and I sssydyuf yufyufefklfjkf

That's right feel the fire!

Originally posted by dadudemon
What is this thread? I don't even.


Cobra utterly rapes the shit out of McClane. Better damage soak...faster...smarter...more resourceful...better shot...better h2h...hotter bitches....n'stuff.

Hotter bitches: True

The rest is either outright false ieamage soak more resourceful, or highly debatable, ie better h2h, better shot.

Originally posted by the ninjak
No he F'n does not! Call the F'n Cobra!

pbiP2dyOLho

YES! This is where the law stops. And I start. Then he beats the shit outa the freak and rips his spine into a hook and sends him into the fires of Hades. He won a h2h battle

Originally posted by Sadako of Girth
Nahhhhh...

Best rebuttal I've ever seen on the whole internet.

I am swayed by your perfect logic: McClane wins.

Good.

Better Soundtrack. All a hero needs is a good montage. McClane didn't have shit. McClane had some crap rap version of jingle bell rock.
gigx66JCGT4FeO5DfdZi7Y

LOL LOL LOL

Riggs had Jinglebell rock....
And some lacklustre Claptonage.


McClane had:

Run DMC (Christmans in hollis)
Creedance Clearwater Revival's "Fortunate son" (Winnage all by itself)
The loving spoonful ("Hot towwwn summer in the city.."
Vaughn Monroe
The ants go marching
And Beethoven..

There is some commonality though... both had scores by Michael Kamen.

Doh! Creedance owns.

Well played my friend.

Whythankyouthankyou, my good man.

CCR for life!

Cobretti Riggs?

Originally posted by Rogue Jedi
Cobretti Riggs?

lulz.


I was thinking that same thing. I think it was a freudian slip.

Nah, it's something else.