Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

Here is how this works:

I make a wish.

The poster who next responds 'grants' my wish, but names a price/penalty as a cost. The poster then makes a wish of his/her own.

Example:

I wish for a BMW.

Next Poster: Granted, but you completely total the BMW the next day.

Next Poster: I wish for a million dollars.
Next next poster: Granted, but robbers will heist your bank and steal all the money.

Get the idea? All right, hope this works.

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I wish to be a physician.

Originally posted by Korto Vos
I wish to be a physician.

Granted, but the person who you helped relative's die of an incurable disease.


I wish I was the smartest man in the world.

Granted, but you will forever be surrounded by dumbasses.

I wish I could have my stories published.

Originally posted by That ACDC Chick
Granted, but you will forever be surrounded by dumbasses.

I wish I could have my stories published.

I figured that would be a given

Granted, except upon reading them, no one would do anything (and I mean nothing) else except read your stories.

I wish I was never sad.

Granted, but you're never happy either.

I want to marry the girl from kick-ass and live happily ever after.

You do, six years into the marriage, you find out she's Roland.

I never wanna see a quarter on a saturday.

haermm

Granted....You die of nickel poisoning.


I wish to be immortal.

Granted, but then you'll miserably bored after everyone is gone.

I wish to grow taller.

Granted, but you'll experience no height cap and will keep endlessly growing.

I wish I could conjure up every book I wanted to read, without buying or loaning.

Granted, but they're all written in Aramaic.


I wish I was the harbinger of the end times.

Granted, but the end of times for cute puppies and kittens only.

I wish I had bionic arms and legs

Granted, but they are attached to a bear suit

I want to marry Honks

Originally posted by Scythe
You do, six years into the marriage, you find out she's Roland.

I never wanna see a quarter on a saturday. crylaugh uhuh

Granted, but she runs off on your honeymoon with a black sock


I wish for 4 trillion dollars

Granted, but all the money is actually counterfeit.

I wish to have the power of telekinesis.

Granted, but your physical functions will be completely nullified.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but you'll be hit by a 747.

I wish it was June again.

Granted but you will get hurt when you hit an airplane that is flying towards you.

I wish I could never get any older

Haha we both said the same cost, lol

Originally posted by Korto Vos
Granted, but you'll be hit by a 747.

I wish it was June again.

Granted, but you'll be forever stuck in the same month for the rest of eternity.

I wish that I were a successful business owner.

Granted but it's a business selling illegal drugs in front of a cop station.

I want LanceWindu to duel me

Granted, but nobody will judge. lolzpwnt


I wish for extra mojo

Granted, but your penis falls off.

I wish for Raz to revamp the forums. haermm

Granted, be he leaves for nine straight years afterwards, so states the prophecy.

I want to point at the pope.

Originally posted by Scythe
Granted, be he leaves for nine straight years afterwards, so states the prophecy.

I want to point at the pope.

Granted, but then you can never stop preaching what he says.

I wish the world would stop forever.

Granted, but the sudden stop of the Earth's rotation causes all buildings to topple over. With nearly half of the world stuck in perpetual winter and the other half in summer, any survivors must choose to freeze or burn. Very little vegetation will grow in either of these extremes. The remaining people eventually starve.

I wish to be the healthiest person alive.

Granted, but you would be ruthlessly pursued by scientists because they want to figure out the secret behind your health.

I want to be able to make my friend happy.

Granted but you will be miserable.

I want to be miserable.

Granted, but you'll live to a ripe old age. You will be miserable every single day of your life.

I wish I had a smart phone.

Granted, but it gets stolen when you walk out of the store.

I wish LW had a smart phone.

Granted, but it gets stolen when he walks out of the store.

I wish Thoren wished LW had a smart phone.

Granted, but it gets stolen when I walk out of the store.

I wish for all all the worlds water (except my own person stash) were contaminated and unsafe for human consumption.

Granted, but your family gets sick as a result.

I wish for nothing.

Granted, but then you get every disease known to man.

I wish for my a/c to be fixed

Granted, but you would never be able to shut it off.

I wish I could go to Canada.

Granted, but while you're there, the rest of the world gets pissed off at Canada being so nice and they all nuke it at the same time.

I wish I could be in a Star Wars movie.

Granted, but Lucas turns you into Jar Jar Binks' son, and you'll be forever despised.

I wish I could visit and see another planet with intelligent lifeforms.

Granted, but the lifeforms are miniscule and enter your body through your urethra. The second they are in, their bodies swell up to ginormous proportions and explode your penis.

I wish for world peace.

Granted, but then aliens would come and attack us and anally probe us for no reason.

I wish to never have to sleep again.

Granted, but then you will have hallucinations of penis shaped cheetos.

I wish I could be a blademaster.

Granted, but you are killed when you're stabbed with a rusty spork.

I wish I were Ace Ventura.

Granted, however a horny silverback gives you the gift of surprise buttsecks.

I wish I was genuinely happy for just one day.

Originally posted by Kharhmah
Granted, however a horny silverback gives you the gift of surprise buttsecks.

i love you lubby

Originally posted by Kharhmah
I wish I was genuinely happy for just one day.
Granted, but you will never be as happy again

I wish I was pretty.

granted, but you will never see your reflection again.

I wish i had stable career that i enjoy

Originally posted by jinXed by JaNx
granted, but you will never see your reflection again.

I wish i had stable career that i enjoy

Granted, but the job you work at performs serious crimes against humanity.


I wish (present) KMC (active) members would come with me to college. touched

Granted, but we would all be in separate classes and have hardly any time to hang ha-son

I wish that Pokemon was fo realsies.

Granted, but then Mewtwo destroys humanity.

I wish that the next year in college goes well.

Originally posted by Korto Vos
Granted, but then Mewtwo destroys humanity.

I wish that the next year in college goes well.
Granted, but then you realize all the jobs near or associated with your field of study become completely and utterly obsolete (not even derivative work) and you have to spend the next four years studying something miserable and horrid at a place that is equally miserable and horrible, to get you a job you'll never like with a pay that hardly covers minimum wage.

I think I'm starting to like this game devil

I wish I wasn't good at anything

Originally posted by King of Blades
Granted, but then you realize all the jobs near or associated with your field of study become completely and utterly obsolete (not even derivative work) and you have to spend the next four years studying something miserable and horrid at a place that is equally miserable and horrible, to get you a job you'll never like with a pay that hardly covers minimum wage.

I think I'm starting to like this game devil

I wish I wasn't good at anything

Agreed. It's fun to come up with the possibilities for a wish to back fire.

Granted, but then you'll be terrible at breathing and proceed to suffocate to death.

I wish I had the Midas touch.

Originally posted by LanceWindu
Agreed. It's fun to come up with the possibilities for a wish to back fire.

Granted, but then you'll be terrible at breathing and proceed to suffocate to death.

I wish I had the Midas touch.

I know. But I really admire the answers that are a little out of left field. True ingenuity.


Granted but then you realize everything you touch is fools gold. Like you


I wish I never had my wishes come true...

Granted but then you forget it all happened and end up making the same wishes over again

I wish that the Holocaust never happened.

Granted, but then Hitler decides to kill your grandparents, thereby negating your existence.

I wish I didn't have all these mosquito bites on my leg.

Granted, but they're on your peen instead.

I wish the girl from Kick-Ass was dating me.

Originally posted by Barker
Granted, but they're on your peen instead.

I wish the girl from Kick-Ass was dating me.

Granted, but she has to castrate you before you go on your first date

I wish Chappelle's Show still aired

Fair enough.

Granted, but it airs PG on daytime tv.

I wish I could live in the future so the present is my past jockey

Granted, but a mishap with you and your friends watching a supernova at point-blank range while you put a non-microwaveable metal "Iffy Pop" popcorn container into the ship's microwave sends you back in time. You end up doing the nasty with your own grandmother and fathering your own dad.

I wish that the PlayStation 4 were already out and I had it.

Originally posted by Barker
Fair enough.

Granted, but it airs PG on daytime tv.

I wish I could live in the future so the present is my past jockey

Granted, but the future all of human kind is like the stone age.


I wish Barker could live in the future, so the present would be his past jockey

Originally posted by Thoren
Granted, but the future all of human kind is like the stone age.


I wish Barker could live in the future, so the present would be his past jockey

Too slow!

Originally posted by LanceWindu
Granted, but a mishap with you and your friends watching a supernova at point-blank range while you put a non-microwaveable metal "Iffy Pop" popcorn container into the ship's microwave sends you back in time. You end up doing the nasty with your own grandmother and fathering your own dad.

I wish that the PlayStation 4 were already out and I had it.

Talk about creativity at its finest.

Granted, but the Playstation network will be hacked for another year, causing you to dismantle your PS4 in frustration.

I wish it won't rain today.

haermm what just happened

Originally posted by Korto Vos
Talk about creativity at its finest.

Granted, but the Playstation network will be hacked for another year, causing you to dismantle your PS4 in frustration.

I wish it won't rain today.

I used the plot of a Futurama episode. haermm2

Granted, but you won't get rain tomorrow either. Or the day after. In fact, rain as we know it will never fall again. If you ever see rain, it is highly toxic and burns flesh on contact.

I wish that Barker knew what just happened.

Granted, but then I watch Futurama. haermm

I wish I watched Futurama.

Granted, but then they make you watch it with you least favorite KMC member.

I wish for the dragon balls to be true.

No pun intended. ermmnone

aka mist ermmnone

Granted but they come true in your mouth. ermmnone

i wish I was mark walberg

Well, I wish that I would be the richest lady in world.

You forgot the cost!

Granted, but you'll become a man and won't be the richest anymore.

I wish I knew how to make signatures.

Originally posted by Barker
aka mist ermmnone

Granted but they come true in your mouth. ermmnone

i wish I was mark walberg

This is ungodly! I find it unbelievable that this level of humor is possible...you all are too good.

Originally posted by Korto Vos
You forgot the cost!

Granted, but you'll become a man and won't be the richest anymore.

I wish I knew how to make signatures.

Granted, but then everyone loses interest in ever changing their old ones, so they have no need for new ones.

I wish I was as funny as KMC's finest

Granted, but being as funny as KMC's finest means you're still pretty much not funny.

I wish someone (whom I don't know in any form) would trip and fall.

Originally posted by LanceWindu
Granted, but being as funny as KMC's finest means you're still pretty much not funny.

I wish someone (whom I don't know in any form) would trip and fall.



Granted, but chaos theory


I wish LanceWindu would trip and fall haermm

Granted, but in doing so he finds a million dollars in a bag and refuses to share with you.

I wish I could have magical powers and be able to perform any spell I choose.

Originally posted by annasmith
Well, I wish that I would be the richest lady in world.
ermmnone

Heh this is like the Wishmaster movies.

Originally posted by Lord Shadow Z
Granted, but in doing so he finds a million dollars in a bag and refuses to share with you.

I wish I could have magical powers and be able to perform any spell I choose.

Granted but pissed off witches come to get ya!

I wish I had the powers of Superman.

Granted but Mist is your Lois Lane.

I wish Mist would update his SW story. ermmhappy

Granted, but he dies during upload process.

I wish Barker would update his HP fanfic. ermmhappy

Denied ermmhappy

I wish Thoren would update his HP fanfic haermm

I ALREADY SAID IT WAS GOING TO BE UPDATED TONIGHT! ermmad

Granted, but it sucks so badly that everyone in the world loses 20 points from their IQ.

I wish I had more Mac and Cheese.

Granted, but it's under foil.

I wish I could live in the past so the present is my future.

Originally posted by Barker
Granted, but it's under foil.

I wish I could live in the past so the present is my future.

Granted, but you will only know your present until aug.19, 2011 then have a nervus breakdown and live the rest of your life in fear.

I wish for I dream of Jeannie

Granted, but your next wish has to make sense

I wish I could turn invisible.

Granted, but you would be blind because the eye wouldn't be able to reflect the image to the retina.

I wish I had super speed.

Granted but the first time you use it, the friction you create causes you to burst into flames and you die (no speed force for you).



I wish I could own and drive at Ford GTX1 anytime I wanted to.

Granted but the car can only drive for one mile, every time.

I wish I could eat for free.

Granted excert you get so full that you give up eating and just save the free food for when you are hungry again. Which end up to never.

I wish I could live in England forever

You get caught in a riot wearing Air Jordans.

I wish..........I had some Nachos.

Granted, but the Nachos are stale and covered with mould, and you still feel compelled to eat them.

I wish I could travel through the universe Silver Surfer style, with all his powers and board.

Granted, but you die like a ***** when _____ super hero kills you with a fork.

I wish I could stop shitposting.

Granted, but then you fill up with unused shitposts and explode into a billion pieces from the pressure.

I wish I could pay my bills.

Granted, but you could never live in the same house/apartment for more than a month.

I wish I could beat George St. Pierre in a fight