Love Advice for Barker Channel.
Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.
BakaXero
This is where we all teach Barker on how to do his shit and get progress reports.
And I've just increase my thread count 313
BakaXero
You're just annoyed cause I made it first mhm
silver_tears
Originally posted by Thoren
wtfawe
Thoren
Lesson One-How To Approach Her
Calmly, and determinedly, walk up to to her, and without hesitation.....
Please put in disc two now.
BakaXero
~Disc play error~
Mist_haermm
Show her SotAM. link-rape
/thread
BakaXero
Originally posted by Barker
Plz dunt
Originally posted by Barker
plz dunt lol kkzthzx
Originally posted by Barker
OMG LOL SOZ MY MOMS MADE ME TAKE A BATTH NOW IM WERING MY PREINCESS PAGAMAS
Barker
I have like 3 of these now haermmOriginally posted by BakaXero
crylaugh how did you even find that
Barker
So.. where's the advice?
Thoren
Thread starter didn't think of that.
Barker
Originally posted by Thoren
Thread starter didn't think.
Does he ever haermm
BakaXero
Originally posted by Thoren
I need some counseling.
I love my current girlfriend, but I'm starting to have feelings for another girl.
What a dilemma.
Thoren
Originally posted by BakaXero
Damn nigga, you're a serious troll haermm
BakaXero
Originally posted by Thoren
Thread starter didn't think of that.
Who uses their brain on KMC?haermm
Barker
Me
BakaXero
Ok here's how it works. Barker tells us his life story about this "female" he's after and we make suggestion off of that. This not a manual of love. So don't expect step by step guide. It's more of advise as you go. That way it's more "tailored to you.
Barker
uhuh Alright.
Day 1: Talked after class a bit for first time
Day 2: Said hi yesterday
Day 3: ??? 13
Thoren
Day 3. Plug one of her holes with your man/bear wang.
Or is that moving to fast? ermmnone
Barker
I just don't know how she would respond to rape. noneermm
One of my exes is named Kat and she's taking me shopping tonight to buy a new shirt to wear on monday to "attract" 2-D design girl ermmnone
aka she doesn't think I can do it without some ****ing shirt noneermm
Thoren
Probably gonna say pussy magnet. ermmnone
Barker
She cheated on me with a black guy so probably more like "Sexual chocolate". noneermm
BakaXero
Originally posted by Thoren
Probably gonna say pussy. ermmnone
fix'd 313
BakaXero
http://img847.imageshack.us/img847/5853/funnyemmawatsontrollfac.jpg
Barker
tgVNgYXFi_Q
>MF AFTER CLASS TODAY WHEN I TALK TO MY FUTURE WIFE
BakaXero
For your wedding cake.
http://img847.imageshack.us/img847/341/realisticweddingdecorat.jpg
Barker
Have to make the guy grabbing the girl but otherwise spot on haermm
BakaXero
She's taking you out of the bedroom away from her haermm
Barker
There's a point where this needs to stop and we've clearly passed it haermm
BakaXero
Got her number yet?
Barker
No
MAYBE NEXT WEEK I'LL BE ALL
HEY MAYBE WE SHOULD EXCHANGE NUMBERS SO FOR IF PERHAPS MAYBE I AM SICK ONE DAY I CAN TEXT YOU AND ASK FOR AN THE ASSIGNMENT
BakaXero
I think I broke Barker haermm
Barker
LEAVE BARKER ALONE
HE'S A HUMAN
BakaXero
http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/5381/kumapanda2.jpg
Thoren
They look like they're frenching?
Thoren
I think Baka wants to kiss you.
hairm.jpg
Barker
Baka is the girl in a wig
I ****ing knew it
Mist_haermm
Originally posted by Barker
Well, I'm sitting here alone in the house, a Mountain Dew in one hand and a spoon in the other - soup -, with Firefox (KMC, ESPN), iTunes, and Microsoft word open. The night is young, I am young, and life is good.
Oh, and I have SotAM open in Microsoft word.
31
Thoren
Originally posted by Barker
Baka is the girl in a wig
I ****ing knew it
Show that nigga, you don't play that gay shit. crackers
Barker
Update #3: Not in class today crackers
Thoren
Hah, he's all lips and nose.
Thoren
So did you try to track her down, old school style?
Barker
Long story short: No. haermm
This just means we can compare art shit on Monday though and I can fawn over whatever average product she's produced.
131
silver_tears
Originally posted by Barker
tgVNgYXFi_Q
>MF AFTER CLASS TODAY WHEN I TALK TO MY FUTURE WIFE
BEST
Barker
fLG_BKWr7KM
It was more like this uhuh but I'll get 'em on Monday.
lord xyz
Everything's about Barker lately. ermm
Thoren
Originally posted by Barker
Long story short: No. haermm
This just means we can compare art shit on Monday though and I can fawn over whatever average product she's produced.
131 GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE.
31Originally posted by lord xyz
Everything's about Barker lately. ermm Yeah, we love him, get over it.
Mist_haermm
Originally posted by Barker
Update #3: Not in class today crackers
She probably changed classes because she thinks you're a weirdo link-rape
silver_tears
Her hipster boyfriend's in a later class link-rape
Thoren
Posting this for the hell of it. link-rape
silver_tears
Likes a boy in a 3-D design class link-rape
Thoren
I sat next to this chick in all my math classes in college, nailed her finally in our last semester together. link-rape
silver_tears
Marry her right after too? link-rape
Thoren
Nah, she wasn't the marrying type. link-rape
Barker
weep
Official things I found out today: Have friend who went to high school with her one year, asked him for the scoop
Turns out she was a cheerleader, really popular at the school, may or may not be a jack mormon
since you're all so interested. ermmnone
BakaXero
So?
Are you looking for excuses to get out of it now?
Barker
No I'm just saying I thought she was this cute shy hipster girl at first srug
Mist_haermm
Originally posted by Barker
Turns out she was a cheerleader
So she's flexible kinda
silver_tears
And a ***** kinda
Mist_haermm
Originally posted by silver_tears
And a ***** kinda
Thats a problem? kinda
Originally posted by Barker
weep
Just do what most college kids do and bang your teacher instead kinda
silver_tears
I know that's what I did kinda
Thoren
Show B.bear some love, now his quest to defile 2-d design girl got harder (no pun intended) by her being popular.
Barker
haermm I feel pretty confident now. srug
lord xyz
Originally posted by Mist_haermm
Just do what most college kids do and bang your teacher instead kinda mmm
kinda
Barker
Do girls like picnics? I'm looking for a girl's opinion, not Thoren's. Is it too cheesy to do one in 2011? ermmnone
Ok maybe Thoren's too. noneermm
Barker
Bitches love picnics. ermmhappy
lord xyz
facepalm
1ST MEETING
Barker: Hey, I'm Michael, whereabouts are you from?
2D girl: ...hi.... *some boring generic place*
Barker: Ermm, what's your name?
2D girl: xyz, I mean, *generic girl name*
Barker: Oh, cool. Bye.
2D girl: ....
2ND MEETING
Barker: Hey, umm. Hi, there!!!
2D girl: I'm on the f*cking phone!!!!!
Barker: Oh, cool. Um, bye then.
3RD MEETING
Barker: Hey, I have a kuh-razy idea, hahaha.
2D girl: ermm
Barker: You wanna go on a picnic or something sometime
2D girl: *generic excuse why it can't happen today or any other time (allergic to grass or something)*
Barker: Oh, well how about we go to the movies?
2D girl: We should probably go into class
*2D girl sits next to the black guy*
Barker
3rd meeting was me telling her her art piece on "dominance" was good.
4th meeting will be me stuttering something unintelligible and running out of class crying.
Digi
I thought Barker was taft because of the toast. I didn't bother to check the name. It was confusing.
lord xyz
Originally posted by Barker
3rd meeting was me telling her her art piece on "dominance" was good. If she likes dominance in bed, that was a good move.
Originally posted by Digi
I thought Barker was taft because of the toast. I didn't bother to check the name. It was confusing. He's taftsick.
Barker
Originally posted by Digi
I thought Barker was taft because of the toast. I didn't bother to check the name. It was confusing.
I am a mix of Itzak and taft today.
I'm also taftsick
Originally posted by lord xyz
If she likes dominance in bed, that was a good move.
He's taftsick.
13
Kram3r
DON'T PRETEND I DON'T EXIST.
silver_tears
I LOVE YOU JAKE RYAN
Kram3r
Woah, Woah, Woah, Woah, Woah.
We're all helping Barks in the wrong way here. First, we have to ASK HIM something. Michael, are you gay? I mean, lets look at the track record here; #13 (didn't know you existed), Honks (HONKS), Fat Kat (I'll leave that to everyone's imagination) and Tills (TILLS). Now, if you like Baloney, that's fine Michael. Many men like the meat-pole. However YOU have to do some searching. 'Cause the resume of women in your life ain't lookin' pretty Michael. If I was a Macca's employer and you handed in that resume, I wouldn't even hire you to mop the floor. So ask yourself this question Mike, I BEG YOU. If you still like women after this talk, maybe I can hook you up with some Kram3r Advice.
PEACE.
Barker_haermm
#31 was GOAT, Honks was GOAT, Kat was skinnier when I dated her, Tills was a sober drunk mistake, the kind you cringe about every time you think about it.
A thousand uhuhs is not enough for that trainwreck of a post.
Thoren
Nigga, put yo shirt on.
Barker
UPDATE
TcGJJ-egB40
On friendly terms with 2D girl now, slowly working towards pollination
- 2D Bear out
Barker
Tonight is some homecoming shit, a school tradition is you kiss a girl at the Old Sorrel statue at midnight
Guess where I'll be
WHAT IF SHE KISSES SOMEONE
Thoren
Stalk her to make sure she doesn't.
parenthesis
Originally posted by Barker
Tonight is some homecoming shit, a school tradition is you kiss a girl at the Old Sorrel statue at midnight
Guess where I'll be
WHAT IF SHE KISSES SOMEONE RING HER AND HOPE IT ANSWERS IN HER POCKET!!!
313
Barker
Originally posted by parenthesis
RING HER AND HOPE IT ANSWERS IN HER POCKET!!!
313
crylaugh haermm
silver_tears
Originally posted by Kram3r
Woah, Woah, Woah, Woah, Woah.
We're all helping Barks in the wrong way here. First, we have to ASK HIM something. Michael, are you gay? I mean, lets look at the track record here; #13 (didn't know you existed), Honks (HONKS), Fat Kat (I'll leave that to everyone's imagination) and Tills (TILLS). Now, if you like Baloney, that's fine Michael. Many men like the meat-pole. However YOU have to do some searching. 'Cause the resume of women in your life ain't lookin' pretty Michael. If I was a Macca's employer and you handed in that resume, I wouldn't even hire you to mop the floor. So ask yourself this question Mike, I BEG YOU. If you still like women after this talk, maybe I can hook you up with some Kram3r Advice.
PEACE.
I'm just gonna leave this here haermm
parenthesis
So Barker just emailed me saying he's switched classes from 2D design to 3D design.
Apparently he was too shit at making a cardboard cutout girlfriend, so they're seeing if he can manage a blow up doll. 131
Text-only Version: Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.
Copyright 1999-2024 KillerMovies.