Solar Battery Bitchin' and complaining

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Let me preface this rant by stating the obvious; I'm no astrophysicist. I can barely spell the word. I do, however, have a layman's understanding of the subject and can't quite come to grips with how modern writers percieve Superman's empowerment.
I also realize that I am discussing a comic, and I don't expect it to be a peer reviewed scientific paper on hypothetical alien/humanoid solar derived abilities.
I would love to see common sense sneak in and consistency at least attempted at some point.
We're all told, ad naseum, that Superman dervies his powers form a yellow sun and is a living solar battery.
The exact component of the radiation needed varies greatly, but it's always described as yellow. Yellow is a frequency of the visible specrum of light, i.e. that our eyes can percieve. The problem I find with this is, if this were indeed the case, a flashlight with a yellow filter on it could power Supes indefinitely. Bye-bye sun. Also, visible light is easily filtered by such things as, I don't know, the heavy clothing that Superman wears over 80 percent of his body. The best way for Supes to power up in this scenario is donning his birthday suit and waving his SuperJunk around for the world to see, and noone wants that. So stories like Exile and Final night become ludicrous when this is considered.
Another light emitted by the sun is UV light. But this fails to explain Superman's depowerment under low-light conditions as referenced before. Also, a portable generator and a black light would be all that are necessary to keep him powered indefinitely, and his uniform and hair would be enough to block out 85 percent of the light given off by the sun. All one would have to do to depower Supes would be to coat him in clear SPF 80 without his knowledge and wait.

With these facts on hand, the only viable explanation is that Superman is, in fact, the universes most efficient Gamma Ray processor.

I would posit that he is so efficient, that if you stood him next to a 1000 foot tall Hulk and he shoved his fist up Hulk's ass, he would drain so much energy from Hulk, that Hulk would turn into a kitten. This would make it child's play for Supes to heat vision the aforementioned Hulkittens head off, and turn the rest into a succulent Korean delicacy. And then he would kill Thanos.

In closing, I will quote from the noted Science Man Marky Mark in his magnum opus, "The Happening."
"I just dropped some science up in here, y'all! Good Vibrations! Feel it, feel it!"

Feel free to liberally quote this post on any Superman/Hulk discussions you may have in the future, I promise I won't sue.

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