Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

Ok...So I ran into this guy, David who I went to school with, over 20 years ago. We weren't friends but shared a couple of classes together, so we got to talking about careers, each others' families & more or less who we still kept in contact with from high school.

As David still lived in the same suburb as the school we went to, he kept in contact with more guys than I did & was telling me about what so & so did & what they're doing these days...
Suffice to say, the names he rambled off sounded familiar & I was being polite in pretending that I was both curious & interested in their lives today...

So Dave says, "Remember Pete Harris? Poor dude died of a heart attack last month. He was just 38 years old. Most of his friends from school turned up for the funeral...so & so even flew in interstate just to be there...."

I vaguely remembered a Pete Harris & politely gave my condolences, mumbling, "how sad, so young...must've been hard for his family..."

At this point, this is where I thought that story of the funeral ended...so there's like a couple of seconds of awkward silence between us.

Well that awkward moment turned out to be actually a pregnant pause from Dave's part, because he then suddenly blurted out,
"And then you know what??? His mother walked up to the open casket, looked at Pete's body then had a heart attack & died right there!!!"

Man...it hit me like a punch line to a bad joke...I doubled up laughing in hysterics, hand over my face hopelessly trying to apologise for laughing. I was wiping back tears,laughing at myself, at how ridiculous the situation had suddenly become.

I know there's a place in hell for people like me.

Anyone else have an awkward or embarrassing story to tell?

I smiled. It's amusing. The story doesn't sound true. Everyone dies. Some die waaaaaaaay before others, though. That makes me sad.

Good lord, this sounds like something that would happen to me. I laugh at the worst times ever.

Myself also, I laugh at the absurd. I can't help it. I had a friend who died who was Native American. His daughter was very upset as it was sudden but as we were expressing our feelings on the matter to her another friend blurts out " Oh God, we aren't going to have to burn the body in the back yard, are we?" Half of us couldn't stop laughing while the others didn't understand what was wrong with us.

I'll need a summarized version of that story on my desk by 5 PM.

Originally posted by Esau Cairn
Ok...So I ran into this guy, David who I went to school with, over 20 years ago. We weren't friends but shared a couple of classes together, so we got to talking about careers, each others' families & more or less who we still kept in contact with from high school.

As David still lived in the same suburb as the school we went to, he kept in contact with more guys than I did & was telling me about what so & so did & what they're doing these days...
Suffice to say, the names he rambled off sounded familiar & I was being polite in pretending that I was both curious & interested in their lives today...

So Dave says, "Remember Pete Harris? Poor dude died of a heart attack last month. He was just 38 years old. Most of his friends from school turned up for the funeral...so & so even flew in interstate just to be there...."

I vaguely remembered a Pete Harris & politely gave my condolences, mumbling, "how sad, so young...must've been hard for his family..."

At this point, this is where I thought that story of the funeral ended...so there's like a couple of seconds of awkward silence between us.

Well that awkward moment turned out to be actually a pregnant pause from Dave's part, because he then suddenly blurted out,
"And then you know what??? His mother walked up to the open casket, looked at Pete's body then had a heart attack & died right there!!!"

Man...it hit me like a punch line to a bad joke...I doubled up laughing in hysterics, hand over my face hopelessly trying to apologise for laughing. I was wiping back tears,laughing at myself, at how ridiculous the situation had suddenly become.

I know there's a place in hell for people like me.

Anyone else have an awkward or embarrassing story to tell?

Did Dave tell you off? I'm curious as to what he did

Originally posted by steverules_2
Did Dave tell you off? I'm curious as to what he did

Honestly, this is a true story.
It would be a lame joke if it wasn't.

As I said, we weren't friends at school & 20 years had passed. I guess he didn't know how to react as he never knew me or my sense of humour.
We quickly parted ways with that false promise of catching up soon.

I've never heard of someone dying at a funeral but I'm sure it's probably happened before

Me either that is pretty strange.

Actually I got 'I'd Face-Palm But My Foot's In My Mouth...' moment, an Asian customer came in and he asked for three of something but I can't remember what. When he said three he said 'tree,' and I went 'You want tree?' And I meant to say 'You want three?' For some reason I said tree and I thought oh shit I've just been racist. He didn't say anything he just said 'Yeah tree.'

Originally posted by steverules_2
Actually I got 'I'd Face-Palm But My Foot's In My Mouth...' moment, an Asian customer came in and he asked for three of something but I can't remember what. When he said three he said 'tree,' and I went 'You want tree?' And I meant to say 'You want three?' For some reason I said tree and I thought oh shit I've just been racist. He didn't say anything he just said 'Yeah tree.'

Was it a special tree for a dorrer?

Originally posted by dadudemon
Was it a special tree for a dorrer?


Well now that you mention it...

Originally posted by steverules_2
Well now that you mention it...

You are propagating an amusing (for me) secret from my post. JOY!

That's pretty epic, dude. Well, I mean, as they say: tragedy often makes for the best comedy.

Originally posted by steverules_2
I've never heard of someone dying at a funeral but I'm sure it's probably happened before

Well if the guy that died was late 30's, I can only imagine he's mom would've been in her sixties to have died of a heart attack...

I generally try and keep myself incredibly poised in front of anyone I meet. I like to make a good first impression and seem well educated and cultured. I believed I was doing just that with a new acquaintance about two years ago who I was supposed to partner with for a class assignment due several class periods after. I wasn't totally sold on the guy, Jesse's worth and personality but he was nice enough and I figured I might as well be cordial if we had to do a presentation.

When we got up to leave class we left our numbers with each other, and I said 'see you later bro'. Before looking at the paper and realizing that Jesse was actually 'Jessica'. I didn't think she had noticed but shot a quick text to my room-mate Jenna about how I'd mistaken someones gender. Only I texted Jesse/ca. And she responded with an awful '.....'

After a feeble attempt at a lie I apologized profusely and she thanked me for my honesty. We decided to put it behind us and focus on the project.

Later I was chatting with a friend of mine, a FtM trans-boy. I accidentally sent Jessica a message that said " You know, at least FtM seems to be a little easier to adapt to physically. "

Again I apologized, but before I could explain it was pretty clear that we wouldn't be speaking anymore.

In my defense I hadn't slept for two days. u__u

Originally posted by steverules_2
Actually I got 'I'd Face-Palm But My Foot's In My Mouth...' moment, an Asian customer came in and he asked for three of something but I can't remember what. When he said three he said 'tree,' and I went 'You want tree?' And I meant to say 'You want three?' For some reason I said tree and I thought oh shit I've just been racist. He didn't say anything he just said 'Yeah tree.'

Another funny tale of misunderstanding with an Asian...

I was with a friend who was getting an old fashioned pirate ship tattooed on his arm.

The tattooist happened to be from Japan who was guest-spotting at the studio & only had a broken grasp of the English language.

Anyway about an hour into the tattoo, my friend wanted a break & asked the tattooist if the outline was finsished.

The Japanese tattooist mistook "outline" for "airplane". He slammed his machine down with a shocked look on his face & uttered,"B-but you asked for sailing ship!"

Originally posted by Cherrywild
I generally try and keep myself incredibly poised in front of anyone I meet. I like to make a good first impression and seem well educated and cultured. I believed I was doing just that with a new acquaintance about two years ago who I was supposed to partner with for a class assignment due several class periods after. I wasn't totally sold on the guy, Jesse's worth and personality but he was nice enough and I figured I might as well be cordial if we had to do a presentation.

When we got up to leave class we left our numbers with each other, and I said 'see you later bro'. Before looking at the paper and realizing that Jesse was actually 'Jessica'. I didn't think she had noticed but shot a quick text to my room-mate Jenna about how I'd mistaken someones gender. Only I texted Jesse/ca. And she responded with an awful '.....'

After a feeble attempt at a lie I apologized profusely and she thanked me for my honesty. We decided to put it behind us and focus on the project.

Later I was chatting with a friend of mine, a FtM trans-boy. I accidentally sent Jessica a message that said " You know, at least FtM seems to be a little easier to adapt to physically. "

Again I apologized, but before I could explain it was pretty clear that we wouldn't be speaking anymore.

In my defense I hadn't slept for two days. u__u We have the same avatar. ermm

Originally posted by Cherrywild
I generally try and keep myself incredibly poised in front of anyone I meet. I like to make a good first impression and seem well educated and cultured. I believed I was doing just that with a new acquaintance about two years ago who I was supposed to partner with for a class assignment due several class periods after. I wasn't totally sold on the guy, Jesse's worth and personality but he was nice enough and I figured I might as well be cordial if we had to do a presentation.

When we got up to leave class we left our numbers with each other, and I said 'see you later bro'. Before looking at the paper and realizing that Jesse was actually 'Jessica'. I didn't think she had noticed but shot a quick text to my room-mate Jenna about how I'd mistaken someones gender. Only I texted Jesse/ca. And she responded with an awful '.....'

After a feeble attempt at a lie I apologized profusely and she thanked me for my honesty. We decided to put it behind us and focus on the project.

Later I was chatting with a friend of mine, a FtM trans-boy. I accidentally sent Jessica a message that said " You know, at least FtM seems to be a little easier to adapt to physically. "

Again I apologized, but before I could explain it was pretty clear that we wouldn't be speaking anymore.

In my defense I hadn't slept for two days. u__u


WTF? Awkward as **** twice.

Lesson learned: use only voice recognition on your android based smartphone to send your text messages. That way, it only sends to the name you say rather than a typo/autofill.


Also, how the hell do you know so many LBGT people in just one class? That's bad luck. You're ****ed no matter what you say at that point.

I have these little moments frequently, but they're minor infractions.

Like saying "You too!" to the snack vendors at the movies when they tell me to enjoy the show.

Or mixing two words, like wanting to say "thanks!" but mid word wanting to say "thank you!" and so ending up saying "thanks you!" or "thank!"

Or singing at the top of my lungs along with my iPod, with my earbuds in and it's something random like, "she works hard for her money so you better treat her right!!" and then realizing that I live in a flat and have close neighbors.

I think the mini-events keep me from making me a giant ass of myself. I think I'd rather have it this way...

And with people who have a thick Asian accent, like at my customary Chinese take-out place, I just order the same thing again and again. They know my name and my order, and that I want it for take out. No conversation needed. I just say "Hi there!" and they say "Hello again!" and then I pay and then I wait with a book.

Originally posted by siriuswriter
Like saying "You too!" to the snack vendors at the movies when they tell me to enjoy the show.
That sounds so ****ing redundant and wasteful of intriguing technology.

"But xyz, it encourages them to enjoy the movie and go to the vending machine, which in effect give people with lots of money more money!"

Oh. In that case it's genius.

Originally posted by lord xyz
That sounds so ****ing redundant and wasteful of intriguing technology.

"But xyz, it encourages them to enjoy the movie and go to the vending machine, which in effect give people with lots of money more money!"

Oh. In that case it's genius.

More like the actual people who are selling the snacks at the real-life snack bar. Because talking to machines that aren't meant for it, while an interesting personality trait, is not one I possess.

Originally posted by siriuswriter
More like the actual people who are selling the snacks at the real-life snack bar. Because talking to machines that aren't meant for it, while an interesting personality trait, is not one I possess.


Don't mind XYZ: he lives in a futuristic country where the entire service industry is facilitated by robots.

Me and my friends always used to thank the ticking machine at the parking lot so that when the robots do rise our lives will be hopefully spared and they'll just use as slaves