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Hello, and welcome to another thinly-veiled Barker/Thoren shitposting thread. In this thread, we will discuss my lack of a love life and I will ask actual KMC females for their advice. In exchange, other failures can ask me for my shitty advice.

To start with: When is a guy supposed to kiss a girl? Some say 3rd date, some say 1st, some say never.

You should kiss a girl when she wants to kiss you too. Perhaps discuss it beforehand.

When she blinks, that's when you kiss her. On the boob.

Originally posted by Bardock42
You should kiss a girl when she wants to kiss you too. Perhaps discuss it beforehand.
they never do this in the movies.
Originally posted by That ACDC Chick
When she blinks, that's when you kiss her. On the boob.
are you sure

500% sure, bro

Excellent thread.

Originally posted by ThorinWoofer
Excellent thread.

I second this, except the exact opposite.

What does it mean when a girl tells you she's not wearing a bra

It means to stick it in her butt

I often find women are tolerant of anal sex.

what does it mean when a girl says she's never done that before

does it mean she's done it before

Yes.

Women always lie.

i might kill myself then

Sometimes they tell the truth doe

this is getting too complex for me

Enough of your words simpleton.

literally everyone i've asked (dozens) has said to stop trying to get with big nose for now and focus on new girl

Who is big nose. Do you feel like you sometimes reduce women to certain aspects of their appearance or personality?

it's more of an attempt to keep identities private.

even though we're fb friends and you could track me down if you wanted. crackers

Originally posted by Barker
it's more of an attempt to keep identities private.

even though we're fb friends and you could track me down if you wanted. crackers

What do you mean "if"?

Oh that's creeper

freals doe

Krames tells me her ass is tops doe.

haermm

you thought the nose was big, wait till you see the behind

Did you see it already?

yeah i have

You see, other crazy people aren't attracted to more crazy people, and that doesn't make sense to me. If she's crazy, a control freak, goes overboard with her diet to look good, and all, then I understand what it's like for her because I'm the same way. So we can help each other better because we understand each other.

So what gives? What's your omniscient verdict on that?

I think I'm high.

dude what

Originally posted by Barker
To start with: When is a guy supposed to kiss a girl? Some say 3rd date, some say 1st, some say never.
In your case, go with the 3rd option.

Originally posted by Barker
dude what turns out I wasn't.

still working on it

terrible

one day

I got drunk.

i'm back to the daily grind now

sorry if you guys missed my insightful posts this month

You were gone?

fu

ermmhappy

like a civil rights sign

i bought skyrim again

BORING

modding it right now

will post my 2D inspired character in a few days

Did you ever play crisis 3?

No

Almost bought Crysis 1 to see how my card would go but then I didn't want to spend $5 on it

Spend $30 on the 3rd.

didn't you just tell me to stop wasting my money

Oh yeah haermm

what does it mean when a girl tells you she knows CPR and about how she's not dating any other guys

Originally posted by Barker
i bought skyrim again
So how's your relation with Lydia?

Originally posted by Barker
what does it mean when a girl tells you she knows CPR and about how she's not dating any other guys

You're so in there.

Originally posted by Astner
So how's your relation with Lydia?
There's the zinger I was looking for

I married Aela tho.
Originally posted by ThorinWoofer
You're so in there.
jw00t

Just don't be you

how do i do that

Adopt another personality.

like.. a wrestling gimmick

No.

Well kind of.

i'll take on a straight edge messiah gimmick

No outlandish props.

I already bought a cape though

Going to far from center.

You're mom is going too far from center

kf

I'm hungry, haven't taken lunch yet

You never do.

It's a big problem

You have an eating disorder.

I want mexican

Burrito or taco?

Steak quesadilla w/ guac and a coke

Enjoy your heart attack.

that's what you're mom said

Will you enjoy it?

I said steak but they gave me chicken

Do you people eat chicken?

Sometimes. It was ok. Prefer steak. She paid doe

Were you on a date?

Originally posted by Barker
that's what you're mom said
Your.

Originally posted by ThorinWoofer
Were you on a date?
yeah
Originally posted by Astner
Your.
i think your mistaken

Is that guy in love with us?

he's enamored with my skeleton body

He's something.

What that is, I have no clue.

He made a rare funny in that guys killing himself thread.

let me check it out

Go for it boss.

I can't find it

Your loss.

Link it up

I'm not going to do your work.

Have you met me

Not officially, no.

one day

On that day, we'll end things violently.

I'll buy you a beer and tell you about my kids

Imaginary family?

Sims fam, same diff

haermm

i think i messed up

It goes in the vag, not the butt.

bg

Unless she liked anal.

I'll ask for you

If she says yes, you have a **** on your hands.


If be proud.

Wow

Don't follow my advice.

way ahead of you salute

Don't rub it in.

Originally posted by Barker
what does it mean when a girl tells you she knows CPR and about how she's not dating any other guys

I was hit on by a girl at work and she said over and over I am not seeing anyone. She was not all that great to look at. Bit my tongue and did not say what I thought, which was I can see why.

She is dropping hints big time.

Originally posted by Barker
what does it mean when a girl tells you she knows CPR and about how she's not dating any other guys
That she wants you to jump in front of a car to validate your desire for her, and so that she can watch you die because she refuses to make lip-to-lip contact with a fat neckbeard.

Epic, simply epic.

313

Chargers

Suck.

Read 200 pages of the Weddle biography last night

Could you be anymore of a eunuch?

Going to start HP soon

Harry Potter?

Yeah, it's been a few years

I reread book seven last year. EPIC

EPIC, SIMPLY EPIC

I hate 1 cuz I read it too much but I have to read it to get into the good ones later

I get teary eyed sometimes when I read book one.

It came out when you were in college

I was in college 9 years ago.

I was in college 2 years ago

I win.

i'm employed

sick burn

I've got more money than you.

rope
df

haermm

I think I'm in love

For the last time I don't swing that way.

with a woman

I had a dirty sex dream about my neighbors wife.

She owns a Thai massage therapy place, and she looks good for being 55.

I'm still remembering when I got my full body massage from her, I chubbed up.

Check if they offer happy endings. They probably do, but since you're overweight and grotesque it's always good to check.

me too

When are you going to start working out?

probably early next month

gonna get real swole

Start now pleb.

Don't tell me how to live my life.

I'll do as I please.

post a picture of you on instagram

How's it barking/woofing?

Hard bro.

creepermm

Suckling

i want to move to san fran

Homoville.

tech jobs n shit doe

True.

Go for it.

daniel bryan