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When we got together
She was a slender thing
So slim and trim
She made me sing

She started to change
When the baby came
She started to eat
Started to gain

Porked Up
Like Miranda Lambert
Porked Up
Like Hillary Scott
Porked Up
Like Linda Ronstadt
Porked Up
Like Mama Cass

Porked Up
Like Wynonna
Porked Up
Like Sally Struthers
Porked Up
Like Oprah
Porked Up
A real fat ass

She goes on a diet
Then shovels donuts down
She gains two pounds
For every pound lost

I posted my photo
At Match.com
I'm tired of sleeping
With a slob

Porked Up
Like Miranda Lambert
Porked Up
Like Hillary Scott
Porked Up
Like Linda Ronstadt
Porked Up
Like Mama Cass

Porked Up
Like Wynonna
Porked Up
Like Sally Struthers
Porked Up
Like Oprah
Porked Up
A real fat ass

Rap:
Porked Up
Like Jessica Simpson
Porked Up
Like Rosie O'Donnell
Porked Up
Like Mariah Carey
Porked Up
Like Kirstie Alley
Porked Up
Like Ann Wilson
Porked Up
Like Kelly Clarkson
Porked Up
Like Shelley Winters
Porked Up
Like Tyra Banks

Jim Colyer ascap

U sure are a catch. Lol