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Gonna try something different here. Imagine a scenario in which one or many of your favorite fictional characters kills you. You may include a few others, but be fair about it. Show some sportsmanship, and don't make a personal attack out of it. There are two other rules:

1. You must die!
2. Be creative!

I expect hilarious sequences. If I don't lol, I'll be disappointed.

Example: Me and COG Veteran vs. Sonic

Sonic spin dashes COG into red mist and runs past me fast enough to decapitate me with a leaf.

(Thanks COG for the example)

This is a weird thread.

Rukia Kuchiki cause then I'm guaranteed an afterlife.

And I like Buu from DBZ. And since everyone he killed got brought back...

Almost got it, Aura. I think it's supposed to be more like this.

Me Versus Aya Brea (Parasite Eve)

I walk up all nervous and shy to greet one of my teen heroes, and my awkward shuffling makes Aya think I'm some abomination of Eve sneaking up from behind her, so she promptly shoves a shotgun in my mouth and pops my head off.

Originally posted by AuraAngel
This is a weird thread.

Rukia Kuchiki cause then I'm guaranteed an afterlife.

And I like Buu from DBZ. And since everyone he killed got brought back...

I know it's weird, but I do this with my friends a lot and find it very amusing.

Now that you've establish WHO would kill you, we need a creative, preferably hilarious, means of doing so.

Originally posted by XanatosForever
Almost got it, Aura. I think it's supposed to be more like this.

Me Versus Aya Brea (Parasite Eve)

I walk up all nervous and shy to greet one of my teen heroes, and my awkward shuffling makes Aya think I'm some abomination of Eve sneaking up from behind her, so she promptly shoves a shotgun in my mouth and pops my head off.

Hahaha, yes! That's exactly how it's done. *High fives Xan*

Ummmm...alright.

Aura vs Rukia

Rukia shows up in front of me and declares me the greatest human to ever live and immediately proposes. Being desperate(as if the whole scenario didn't explain that) I accept but she has to kill me. I allow it since well confirmed after life and I spend eternity with a kawaii wife.

Aura vs Buu

Buu(Super Version) goes "I'mma ****ing eat you!!!" and turns me into chocolate so I'm more edible.

Like that? ?_?

Originally posted by AuraAngel
Ummmm...alright.

Aura vs Rukia

Rukia shows up in front of me and declares me the greatest human to ever live and immediately proposes. Being desperate(as if the whole scenario didn't explain that) I accept but she has to kill me. I allow it since well confirmed after life and I spend eternity with a kawaii wife.

Aura vs Buu

Buu(Super Version) goes "I'mma ****ing eat you!!!" and turns me into chocolate so I'm more edible.

Like that? ?_?

That's more like it. Though I'd like more elaboration on how Rukia actually KILLS you. Lol'd at Buu. "I'mma ****ing eat you!!!" Hahahaha!

Charizard v.s. ScreamPaste

Drop kicks me in the chest and sets my pants on fire while yelling "YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BADGES TO TRAIN ME"

or something.

Originally posted by ScreamPaste
Charizard v.s. ScreamPaste

Drop kicks me in the chest and sets my pants on fire while yelling "YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BADGES TO TRAIN ME"

or something.

You can understand him? Lol.

Charizard would probably sound like this: "roar roar roar."

Aww, you can do better than that, Shin.

He pinches Samus on the heiny.

She breaks his neck before he realizes. Probably worth it.

"roar" isn't nearly as amusing to me. Artistic license. uhuh

N.A.T.E. vs Eponine.

After being mysteriously thrown back in time, I notice someone who looks suspiciously like samantha barks. Following her to a pile of junk in the streets, we are attacked by the french military. I save her from being shot but the bullet hits some school boy with a powder keg. We end up winning but the boy dies. The doctor then shows up and tells eponine the only way to save marius is to kill me, then go back in time and kill me again beforw the shooting starts. Since I don't speak french, I have no idea what they said and blissfully unaware of their plan and go in for the kiss. Its okay though, because the last thing I see is a beautiful women.... who's stabbing me in the chest.

Did I do good?

Originally posted by NotAllThatEvil
N.A.T.E. vs Eponine.

After being mysteriously thrown back in time, I notice someone who looks suspiciously like samantha barks. Following her to a pile of junk in the streets, we are attacked by the french military. I save her from being shot but the bullet hits some school boy with a powder keg. We end up winning but the boy dies. The doctor then shows up and tells eponine the only way to save marius is to kill me, then go back in time and kill me again beforw the shooting starts. Since I don't speak french, I have no idea what they said and blissfully unaware of their plan and go in for the kiss. Its okay though, because the last thing I see is a beautiful women.... who's stabbing me in the chest.

Did I do good?

I'd simplify it a bit, but it's a start. I suspect COG will be here in a few. He'll know what to do. Xan basically got it.

Do I still get to kiss a samantha barks look-a-like?

It's possible to make a narrative out of it, but it's really more like a sunday comic. Humor in a small number of panels.

Originally posted by NotAllThatEvil
Do I still get to kiss a samantha barks look-a-like?

I don't see why not.

The complexity was part of the joke...

Oh man, lol. I know this stuff.

COG Veteran & Sacred 117 VS. Marcus Fenix and Dom Santiago.

Delta challenges me and Sacred to a game of paintball. We accept and prepare to fight. Before we can begin to look for Delta, out from somewhere in the woods a paintgun/chainsaw combo paintball gun is thrown like a frisbee, decapitates Sacred. As I try to hide, modified paintballs modified to hold "kill your ass acid" are fired into me resulting in melting death.

Originally posted by COG Veteran
Oh man, lol. I know this stuff.

COG Veteran & Sacred 117 VS. Marcus Fenix and Dom Santiago.

Delta challenges me and Sacred to a game of paintball. We accept and prepare to fight. Before we can begin to look for Delta, out from somewhere in the woods a paintgun/chainsaw combo paintball gun is thrown like a frisbee, decapitates Sacred. As I try to hide, modified paintballs modified to hold "kill your ass acid" are fired into me resulting in melting death.

Hahahahahahahahaha! I was wondering when you'd show up. I knew it was your thing.

Originally posted by NotAllThatEvil
N.A.T.E. vs Eponine.

After being mysteriously thrown back in time, I notice someone who looks suspiciously like samantha barks. Following her to a pile of junk in the streets, we are attacked by the french military. I save her from being shot but the bullet hits some school boy with a powder keg. We end up winning but the boy dies. The doctor then shows up and tells eponine the only way to save marius is to kill me, then go back in time and kill me again beforw the shooting starts. Since I don't speak french, I have no idea what they said and blissfully unaware of their plan and go in for the kiss. Its okay though, because the last thing I see is a beautiful women.... who's stabbing me in the chest.

Did I do good?

LOL. Love the Les Miserables stuff going on. Awesome.

Originally posted by NotAllThatEvil
The complexity was part of the joke...

It was well done, Evil, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. This is more about quick death humor than elaborate snuff dark comedy.

When I think of more i'll put them here. This is not a thread to forget.

Originally posted by COG Veteran
When I think of more i'll put them here. This is not a thread to forget.

You got that right. I just happen to be dry on ideas right now.

Anyone who can make it very quick and painless.

N.A.T.E. and the North Korean military vs. Rambo with a fishing pole.

Our last words "probably shouldn't have given him a fishing pole..."

Better?

Originally posted by NotAllThatEvil
N.A.T.E. and the North Korean military vs. Rambo with a fishing pole.

Our last words "probably shouldn't have given him a fishing pole..."

Better?

Just gotta add in stuff like him fishing your eyes out of your head with the hooks, creative/ funny stuff like that.

Me Versus David Xanatos (Gargoyles)

David invites me to Xanatos Inc., where he personally expresses how flattered he is I use his name. We shake hands, I leave. The next day I get served papers: I've had a class action lawsuit put against me for copyright infringement. On my way to the hearing, a random chunk of stone drops on my head, killing me instantly. From the top of the clocktower, Broadway stretches, having just woken up, and looks down.

"...Whoops."

COG Veteran vs Link

I'm walking back up to my house when I see HIM. He glares at me and draws his bow. Naturally I run. I can only see fleeting shadows of him through the trees. He's appears in front of me suddenly and places two arrows through my knees, I fall, two thru the arms, two thru the eyes. To add injury to injury. He kicks me forward.

Originally posted by NotAllThatEvil
The complexity was part of the joke...

You can elaborate if necessary. I just recommend having more casualties.

Originally posted by COG Veteran
COG Veteran and Sacred 117 vs Link

I'm walking back up to my house when I see HIM. He glares at me and draws his bow. Naturally I run. I can only see fleeting shadows of him through the trees. He's appears in front of me suddenly and places two arrows through my knees, I fall, two thru the arms, two thru the eyes. To add injury to injury. He kicks me forward.

Horrified upon witnessing this, I make a run for it hoping I haven't been discovered only to run into a sword (that I didn't see) stuck horizontally into the side of a tree. My torso falls off remaining upright while my legs keep going for a short distance.

Jill valentine is surrounded by zombies, I mow them down with a jeep and Come out rescue her. We exchange names and info (me having none) then I drive her some of the way to her destination taking the only few streets available in raccoon city. Suddenly the car flips as a rocket hits the ground ahead of us. Shaken but not disoriented I crawl out grabbing the nearest weapon I can find (a gun) and successfully distract Nemesis long enough for Jill to run to safety within a near by location. I die a heroic death and get a small cult following of fans on the Internet.

Originally posted by SevenShackles
Jill valentine is surrounded by zombies, I mow them down with a jeep and Come out rescue her. We exchange names and info (me having none) then I drive her some of the way to her destination taking the only few streets available in raccoon city. Suddenly the car flips as a rocket hits the ground ahead of us. Shaken but not disoriented I crawl out grabbing the nearest weapon I can find (a gun) and successfully distract Nemesis long enough for Jill to run to safety within a near by location. I die a heroic death and get a small cult following of fans on the Internet.

The established character has to kill you in a creative, hopefully hilarious way. Lay the foundations. 'SevenShackles vs. Jill Valentine or Nemesis' would be one way to do it, and one (or both) of them would have to end you. Check some of the previous posts for reference. CIS is not a factor; anything goes.

If you microwave a disembodied heas, does it explode?

Originally posted by NotAllThatEvil
If you microwave a disembodied heas, does it explode?

Heas?

Head.

Oh. Probably. I wouldn't actually know.

Originally posted by Sacred 117
The established character has to kill you in a creative, hopefully hilarious way. Lay the foundations. 'SevenShackles vs. Jill Valentine or Nemesis' would be one way to do it, and one (or both) of them would have to end you. Check some of the previous posts for reference. CIS is not a factor; anything goes.
Nemesis charges at me with rocket launcher in hand as I fire a couple of rounds into his chest which he effortlessly shrugs off before back handing me into a fountain. My arm and a couple of ribs break in the process. Not able to move and falling in and out of consciousness I hear the faint heavy thuds of foot steps, semi drowning in a mix of blood and fountain water before being plucked out of the water by a iron grip that breaks something. Horrid monsters stares me in the eyes before raising his hand up to my head letting lose a purple tentacle that rips threw my eye socket worming its way down my throat until ripping me in half. My corpse becomes another part of the gore filled landscape.

Or

I survive the zombie strikes learning my lesson from Bill Murray in zombie land and acting like a zombie. Using blood and guts as camo I zombie walk my way to what seems like a safe place and right before finding safety I get shot in the head by Jill valentine. Possibly moments from safety and dressed like a walking dead reject I die.

I'll eventually get this right.

Takes place in Iron Man 2

I am at the party at Starks house. Rhodes and Stark begin slugging it out in their suites. Me, drunk and trying to impress the ladies, jump in and make this a three way fight (I have no armor).

Stark and Rhodes then proceed to perform an Irish folk river dance upon my body which has been smashed 2 feet into the concrete. Then they continue the fight.

Originally posted by SevenShackles
Nemesis charges at me with rocket launcher in hand as I fire a couple of rounds into his chest which he effortlessly shrugs off before back handing me into a fountain. My arm and a couple of ribs break in the process. Not able to move and falling in and out of consciousness I hear the faint heavy thuds of foot steps, semi drowning in a mix of blood and fountain water before being plucked out of the water by a iron grip that breaks something. Horrid monsters stares me in the eyes before raising his hand up to my head letting lose a purple tentacle that rips threw my eye socket worming its way down my throat until ripping me in half. My corpse becomes another part of the gore filled landscape.

Or

I survive the zombie strikes learning my lesson from Bill Murray in zombie land and acting like a zombie. Using blood and guts as camo I zombie walk my way to what seems like a safe place and right before finding safety I get shot in the head by Jill valentine. Possibly moments from safety and dressed like a walking dead reject I die.

I'll eventually get this right.

You actually got it right this time. Lol'd my ass off. Hahaha.

Originally posted by COG Veteran
Takes place in Iron Man 2

I am at the party at Starks house. Rhodes and Stark begin slugging it out in their suites. Me, drunk and trying to impress the ladies, jump in and make this a three way fight (I have no armor).

Stark and Rhodes then proceed to perform an Irish folk river dance upon my body which has been smashed 2 feet into the concrete. Then they continue the fight.

This is possibly one of the greatest things I've ever read or heard... EVER.

Sacred 117, COG Veteran and BloodRain vs. Dante (Devil May Cry)


This takes place in DMC3 time.


Me, COG, and BR are invited to hang out with Dante on condition we bring pizza and 'babes'. Me and COG show up with the pizza, but Dante is disappointed claiming that it has anchovies. Before I can check for undesired toppings, Dante abruptly whips out Agni and Rudra and reduces my ass to confetti with his Million Slash.

Dante throws Rebellion into COG, pinning him to the wall. "Wanna see a trick?", Dante asks. He recalls Rebellion, and the boomerang motion strikes COG repeatedly. "Whoa! That was aweso-", COG tries to exclaim before falling to the ground as human pepperoni slices.

BR shows up late explaining that he couldn't find any babes because there weren't enough in the game. Dante calmly gets up to turn on his jukebox, which, to his disappointment, doesn't work. Requiring an outlet for his frustration, he simply decides to steamroll BR into oblivion with the defective jukebox.

Following all this, Dante breaks the fourth wall and takes the last words of mine and COG's deaths out of context, using HIM as a pizza topping and me as a party favor.

Originally posted by Sacred 117
Sacred 117, COG Veteran and BloodRain vs. Dante (Devil May Cry)


This takes place in DMC3 time.


Me, COG, and BR are invited to hang out with Dante on condition we bring pizza and 'babes'. Me and COG show up with the pizza, but Dante is disappointed claiming that it has anchovies. Before I can check for undesired toppings, Dante abruptly whips out Agni and Rudra and reduces my ass to confetti with his Million Slash.

Dante throws Rebellion into COG, pinning him to the wall. "Wanna see a trick?", Dante asks. He recalls Rebellion, and the boomerang motion strikes COG repeatedly. "Whoa! That was aweso-", COG tries to exclaim before falling to the ground as human pepperoni slices.

BR shows up late explaining that he couldn't find any babes because there weren't enough in the game. Dante calmly gets up to turn on his jukebox, which, to his disappointment, doesn't work. Requiring an outlet for his frustration, he simply decides to steamroll BR into oblivion with the defective jukebox.

Following all this, Dante breaks the fourth wall and takes the last words of mine and COG's deaths out of context, using HIM as a pizza topping and me as a party favor.
You make me roll. lolololol.

..was I just killed? mmm

Originally posted by BloodRain
..was I just killed? mmm

Yeah. I thought you wouldn't mind being involved since it was Dante. Lol.

My only issue is that now Dante thinks I'm unable to pick up babes mhmm Emasculation is worse than death lol

Originally posted by BloodRain
My only issue is that now Dante thinks I'm unable to pick up babes mhmm Emasculation is worse than death lol

Lol, I wasn't implying inability to score babes; I was implying that, by default, there weren't enough to work with. Lady was the only female of mention in DMC3, and I don't see her attending. Lol. Didn't mean any offense on your end, man. It was just for humorous sake.

Am kidding bro :T

Originally posted by BloodRain
Am kidding bro :T

Haha, I know.

Well, would you like to kill me? We're all fair game (I'd assume). The main requirement is that you die within your own scenario.

Originally posted by Sacred 117
Haha, I know.

Well, would you like to kill me? We're all fair game (I'd assume). The main requirement is that you die within your own scenario.

Sacred117 and ScreamPaste v.s. Princess Luna

The three of them sit on a couch with Gamecube controllers in front of them. They're playing Smash Bros. Sacred117 hunches over his in concentration, ScreamPaste is leaning back in the couch, clearly gassed out of his mind with an empty bottle of Bushmills Black Bush at his feet. He's barely looking at the screen. Princess Luna hovers her controller near her head with her telekinetic powers and glares holes into the television. The cause of her ire is immediately apparent.

Some cheating ****** gets better at Smash when he's drunk. Once humourously ranked in the top 20 Link players in 2009, he is sliding around the stage turning left to right as he moves and spamming his clawshot and projectiles in ways that don't have any pattern or sense behind them. It is working.

GAME.

The winner is... Li-

The entire living room is torn from the Earth and sent rocketing skyward. By the time it crashes into the moon Sacred117 and ScreamPaste's blood has already boiled due to lack of pressure. They are quite, quite dead. ScreamPaste maintains his obnoxious victory pose.

Originally posted by ScreamPaste
Sacred117 and ScreamPaste v.s. Princess Luna

The three of them sit on a couch with Gamecube controllers in front of them. They're playing Smash Bros. Sacred117 hunches over his in concentration, ScreamPaste is leaning back in the couch, clearly gassed out of his mind with an empty bottle of Bushmills Black Bush at his feet. He's barely looking at the screen. Princess Luna hovers her controller near her head with her telekinetic powers and glares holes into the television. The cause of her ire is immediately apparent.

Some cheating ****** gets better at Smash when he's drunk. Once humourously ranked in the top 20 Link players in 2009, he is sliding around the stage turning left to right as he moves and spamming his clawshot and projectiles in ways that don't have any pattern or sense behind them. It is working.

GAME.

The winner is... Li-

The entire living room is torn from the Earth and sent rocketing skyward. By the time it crashes into the moon Sacred117 and ScreamPaste's blood has already boiled due to lack of pressure. They are quite, quite dead. ScreamPaste maintains his obnoxious victory pose.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The setup was perfect! I could definitely see that happening. I find myself wanting to challenge you at Smash now.

Master of Beer Cancelling, he is.

Sacred 117, ScreamPaste, XanatosForever, The Scenario, BloodRain and NotAllThatEvil vs. Ganondorf

Ganon puts his hand through my face and uses my face to destroy everyone else's faces with my face.