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Why all the Mashed Potatos?

Someone invited RIV to Dinner!

This thread is bad and you should feel bad.

Well it is Thanksgiving.

*hides all the pumpkin pie from nuke*

I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.

http://s6.postimg.org/m9jhgn275/mature_stuff_you.jpg

Overeating, the perfect Murican holiday.

The Pilgrims and the Indians would be appalled at the feeding habits they inspired.

Buncha savages

penis

or

spine


same letters

Originally posted by riv6672
I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?

They do that so you don't have to think too hard on who to bet for after you are stuffed and hammered.

Pro tip: always bet on the Cowboys

Hi. A Canadian here.

Bit of backstory.. I work at a private club as a line cook iv and we did our Thanksgiving already, anyway...

I went up to my chef who had been brining the turkeys for about a week in different brines and he had just finished making different au'jus for the different turkeys.

So i say to chef " oh man. These turkeys smell really fowl. But im sure they will gobble them up" he told me to stop while we laughed.

Oh kitchen puns.

Nice!

Turkey's got a raw deal, pigs too in a lesser extent.

Cranberry sauce is people.

Wild Turkey and Old Grandad don't mix well.

My grandad like to shoot wild turkeys.

Originally posted by Flyattractor
Wild Turkey and Old Grandad don't mix well.

My Grandad likes to take Shots of Wild Turkey...

If the PIlgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?


Their AGE!

The Quakers are the closet thing to Pilgrims, and they get the last laugh when the technology blows up.

They make good oatmeal.

Quaker Oats is people.

Farina is black people.

That joke was so bad you didn't take it farina nuff away....

^^^zing!

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to replicate the tradition, she prepared a turkey dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

"Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter.

"Why... did it taste funny?" her mother asked.

"I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"

What kind of music did Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock.

Jive turkeys letting this thread die out!

They're still stuffed from all the Halloween jokes.

T-Day HaaaOooo!

EVj4O8vJe_U

xIc5UIDjjoY

These turkey jokes will put you to sleep faster then tryptophan

^^^sounds like a super villain!

Q. When did the Pilgrims first say "God bless America?"
A. The first time they heard America sneeze!

Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!

Top 10 Signs you had a Bad Thanksgiving.

10. "You ran out of booze by 11a.m."
9. "Most frequently used word at dinner: Heimlich"
8. "Meal was leftovers from last Thanksgiving"
7."thanks to new electric knife ,kids fought over the wishbone and your severed thumb'
6. The Turkey was wearing a dog collar
5.Spent day in Times Square waiting for giant turkey to drop
4. Woke up from tryptophan induced sleept to find yourself naked in the drive way
3. When dinner came out, so did your son
2.Laura and the twins lock you out
and #1


Your turkey dinner was the only breast you've touched all year.

I dunno, #10 should be #1...

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

Bah Bump Bump!


Jumpy

Haha!

What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it?
Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?
It had 24 carrots
.Why can't you take a turkey to church?
They use FOWL language.

What did baby corn say to mama corn?
Where's popcorn?

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself!

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
"If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"

What if the Pilgrims shot a bobcat instead of a turkey?
We'd be eating pussy for Thanksgiving

What do you call a rafter of toms masturbating in the forest?
Turkey Jerky.

https://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdqsepsfAe1qbahrjo1_400.jpg

http://thanksgivingdayprayer.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/thanksgiving-wishes-to-friends.jpg

http://s25.postimg.org/rgkf2d6e7/31375_Thanksgiving_meme_Louis_CK_the_klmb.jpg

Can a turkey jump higher then the Empire State Building.

Yes.

A building can't jump at all.

It's not thanksgiving related, but the thought of it always cracks me up, in Christmas Vacation when Clark slices into the turkey and it shivels up and dies is the perfect summation of most of my holiday memories.

So you didn't have a fun time at Wally World as a kid then?

Wally World didnt exist when i was a kid.

I remember the creepy place on the edge of town where the hobos dressed up as clowns in the abandoned Rail Cars.


it wasn't that much fun to vist actually....but stsill more fun the GRIEFSGIVING!

Why did it have to be clowns?

Originally posted by riv6672
I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving. Shouldn't the Patriots play the Redskins, and then steal their stadium?

LOL

http://i522.photobucket.com/albums/w344/riv6672/image_zpsnijehhdg.jpg

http://media.caglecartoons.com/media/cartoons/205/2012/11/20/122719_600.jpg

^^^That one made me and my spouse lauh just now!

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y242/tifa7k/Signs/thanksgiving.jpg

http://i387.photobucket.com/albums/oo311/lisa465111/Thanksgiving/FunnyThanksgiving.jpg

Those last two killed it!

What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A Harvest.

http://d2ws0xxnnorfdo.cloudfront.net/meme/221488

^^^Heh heh!

Where did the first corn come from?
The stalk brought it.

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

^^^Haha!

One more day to go...

bash

http://yuksrus.com/sesame.jpg

http://i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/265079/slide_265079_1791160_free.jpg

Ugh. Family get together tomorrow. PTSD about to go into hyperdrive....

Yeah. I always laugh in the face of people that say that T-day is an extra day off.

^^^Agreed.

And, one last bad joke...
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never learned good table manners!

Yes. It is Turkey Day. and lets all remember the real reason for this holiday. To get ready for the REAL REASON FOR THE HOLIDAY....

http://blog.theregularguynyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/32584-Black-Friday-funny-lol-I3zw.jpeg

^^^

Just dropped by to wish you a good one, Fly!

Same to you Oh Great Devour of the Mashed Potatoes.


And now we only have 29 days till that next PTSD Helliday.

^^^Nooooooooo!!!!!

Are you saying you couldn't handle a MERE 29 days of Christmasy HiJinks!?

You would DARE...

Could you imagine the Brown Trousers Anger this would have caused over at HC for the last 2 months...

Oh god yes, but they would have posted in the threads daily to say how much the threads werent worth posting in!

I feel a Spam Thread Coming on!


Like that old thread were I posted noting but pics of Spam Cans..

An Ode to Hawaii...