Click HERE to see this thread with all of the graphics, features, and links.

Well, here it is. A daring enterprise to built this bar way down on the bottom of this Gungan Swamp. There will tours every hour on weekdays around intricate tube systems that support this bar and they will allow any non-amphibian to arrive her safely without swimming or drowning.

Take a seat, a drink or a bit. Chat away, nothing's off topic. Let's go for 500 posts this time.

Yours untruly
queeq

This is nice..

Hope you don't hold the closing against me...

Oooooo..I love the big kitchen. (Gundark carries in stacks of cookbooks)

Oh, queeq, Kevin Costner is at the back door....something about filming a sequel to Waterworld ????

Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Hope you enjoy the kitchen Gundy. I hope It took care of all the short-comings of the previous one. I wrote down all your complaints.

*slides a triple Maultini to Dim*

Here, on the house. Please don't do this too often, it's costs me an arm and a leg... And if you'll now excuse me?

*shakes hand with Kevin and together they walk into queeq's new office which is right next to Gundy's office*

(Gundark hangs her TPM one-sheet in its beautiful muted gold metallic frame on the wall over her desk in her office). Hmmmm....perfect.

Hey, who put all this paperwork on my desk ???? And right before the weekend ? I need a drink !!!

*steps in for a sec*

Do you think Kevin can have a meal later on?

Oh and sorry about the paper work. I was pretty sure you wanted all ingredients in house before the weekend. I'm expecting a crowd.

*grabs two cups of Gungan Coffee and runs back into his office*

(Gundark grumbles under her breath and goes into kitchen to marinate chicken for quesadillas) Ah, queeq did order the fresh chipoltes. Cool.

(Goes back into office, puts on glasses and rolls up sleeves, takes long hit off large cold Glen Dagobah ale, tears into paperwork). Hmmm....I'll have to talk to finti about the music for jukebox.

*queeq pops in again*

What time do you think we can have dinner? I'm having another meeting with Bruce around 8.30.

How about 8:00 ? I should be caught up by then and you know the late night crowd will be rolling in by 9:00. You have a message from Carrie Fisher and the Blue Milk advisory board called, they want to give you a certificate of achievement. Oh, and by the way, the neon lights around the bar aren't working, you need to get them fixed.

Finti is lurking in the darkness of the shadows giving all the celebreties way to much to drink. Bruce aint able to sit in a chair, Carrie is dancing ballet in the restrooms.
Kevin is just a wuzz he couldn`t hold more than two glen dagobah ale`s before he fell asleep.

Hey finti. Hope you like the new bar. Make sure you keep pouring. Kevin needs to sign a contract before he leaves, so give him another double on the house. And give Bruce some water next, I don't want drunk sharks in my place. It'll scare the celebs away.

Bloody hell, I got soaked getting here.

Gundark, I'm being pestered by Gungans all the time. They say thatonly fish dishes are allowed in their swamps. Offends their Gods or something,otherwise.

I may try and placate them with the fish-slapping dance, but I need a partner.

Wet? You should take one of the tubes down here. There are huge neon signs around the lake pointing towards them. You eyes haven't recovered.

Here have a drink, on the house. Finti?

I took the scenic route. I AM trying to liase with the Gungans, after all. Only this cheap Corellian rebreather gave out on me... it's a long story.

Get me a betazade.

Weekend and I`m stiil at work. What a bummer.
*Finti sneakes a glen dagobah past his boos*
psyke

OK, look, no one said I'd have to be a water rat!!!!

*sips her Maultini and has fun poking her fingers through the tavern wall.

*Finti sips his glen dagobah and having fun putting Kevin through the tavern wall

Water rat ? And I thought I smelled WET CAT !!!

The gungan is so plentiful around here, its gonna be way fresher fried than the mon calamari. Now I need a volunteer to go out and harpoon me some gungans.....anybody ???

Hey! They are PAYING me to be their representative, you know? No matter what planet you come from, it is bad business sense to eat the race that pays you...

Hey Gundy, I'm a RAT, not a CAT. RATcat, not ratCAT!!!

Oh, RatCat? Isn't that a ratty cat? Like when you say you're a Thunderbird, you can't be a thunder. You're a bird with the characteristic of thunder. So you're a cat with the characteristics of a rat, but a cat nevertheless.

*GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT*
Ladies and Gentlemen, the walls are quite solid but please do not play around with them. There are a couple of Sando Aquamonsters that nest here and I prefer to serve my guests dinner, not serve them AS dinner. Thank you and enjoy your stay.

No, it's nothing like that at all... queeq, please keep you delusions to yourself.

Sorry Ushgarak...it certainly appears that we are attempting to share a food supply....depending on a certain point of view. But I'll be happy to make an appropriate substitute on the menu. May I recommend one of RC's favorites, The Rancor Burger ?

Well, RC, at least stand still for a minute so I can hit with a shot of this toilet water...hmmm, what's this scent..."WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN" ??? Oh wait, I read it wrong..."WHAT THE CAT WAS DRAGGED IN". Okay, much better now. queeq, how does that smell ?

Rancor Burger? That must be a MIGHTY burger bun...

I'll have two.

Coming right up. With a side order of Vader's Tater's, of course.

Finti, get that jukebox working, will you man ??

Perhaps if he throws Kevin into it? After all, this place may get an impromptu flooding if Kevin goes through the wall any more, and I'm damp enough already.

It's very authentic, this burger, isn't it? I didn't know I had to pick out the teeth. My compliments to the chef, anyhow.

Can I just get a Gungan Cheese Burger.

*not listening, continues playing with the wall*

Can I have some Mynock fingers?...with Ketchup?...

*sits down at Dim's table*

Look, sweetheart, stop playing with the walls. You like a Goober Fish biting your butt?

*touches her hand*
Your wedding's going to be great.

But queeqer...RC's dead.

Huh?

He's just pretending. I have inflated him already. In a few days he's as good as new.

That was just his clothes..and I sent them to the cleaners...

No, that was just to put you off. He's fine but he's quarantained for a week or so. Looks like he got a bad case of BSE, but for midgets that only temporary.

This place IS mad, isn't it? I think I'll have another drink.

(Gundark carries in a huge tray filled with steaming plates) Okay, I think I've got everybody's order here. Thanks for the compliment, Ush, you're alright, man.
BTW, Ush, if you want to know why RC is or was dead, go read "a tiny problem" and it will explain everything, including why I made him into frankenstein's monster.

Dimmy, if you want to visit RC in quarantine, you'll have to put on one of those big stuffy white plastic suits with a helmet.

Where's finti ? I could use a stiff Maultini.

is there an equivalent of a darts board in here? Not ACTUALLY a darts board, of course, becuase one bad throw and you've impaled a fish.

Yeah, over next to the jukebox. Hope you're a good shot or you might lose that gungan deal.

I'll give it a go. I'll tell them I was practicing ancient Gungan fish hunting.

Besides! I'm notgoing to miss!

(Goes to play darts)

Incidentally, I stil need volunteers for the fish-slapping dance...

Mind you, at least it's safe down here.I'm getting distinctly worried that Jedi Mercenary wants to kill me...

I wouldn't worry about it down here, queeq allows no weapons of any kind in his establishment. Except for his tommy blaster of course.

Okay, this fish-slapping dance has me intrigued, but can I ask if we're slapping the fish itself or slapping each other with the fish, and if so, where ?

It's alright! He's not trying to kill me after all! He was just having a bad day.

The fish slapping dance is... impossible to describe. You have to see the relevant Monty Python episode... it IS the other person you slap, but the whole thing is over in thirty seconds...

I can't believe I've never seen that one. But I'm a girl who'll try anything once !!!!

Right. We need two small fish, one large fish, two safari outfits and some sort of bridge above a body of water.

I brought the marlin, Ush. And the platform at the surface is almost ready. You bring the tow herrings and we can start the first instructional session.

*takes the tape with dance music*

Okay, here I am in my safari outfit....NO pictures, queeq.

*FLASH* *FLASH* *FLASH* *FLASH* *FLASH* *FLASH* *FLASH* *FLASH* *FLASH* *FLASH* *FLASH* *FLASH*

Copies anyone? $10 a piece. Sold at the bar.

Well at least it was before I got slapped with a fish.

Come on Gundy, let's do a test run.

*swings the marlin on his shoulder and enters the "TO SURFACE" tube.*

And who's gonna watch the bar ?

The Drink'bot. He only works when finti's not around.

*Finti kicks the drink`bot, hey I can handle these feeble individuals at the bar, what would it be to drink.

*queeq and Gundy return to the bar, Gundy's all soaked and queeq's laughing, the marlin on his shoulder*

Hey finti. What's up? And never mind the Drink'Bot. It doesn't really work, it just keeps people busy trying to get a drink out of it until you show up. Smart, eh?

Very clever queeq, very clever. RC have tried to order a drink for two days of that bot.

You know better than to trust a strange machine.

Alright,I'm here and... oh,you've already done it. Never mind, then.

Drink 'bot always works for me...

Well if you want a "mekanikk" to stare at you for an hour or so I guess it will work, if you want a drink Finti is the man. *Finti hands Dim a drink that will clear here nose for any snot and hair*
The drink is called a "Norse guide to the galaxy" you surly will see stars.

(Gundark slips on her Joo Janta 2000's and puts arm around Ushgarak) Come on, Ush, I'll still dance with ya...hope you don't mind my boots squishing.

Well, who am I to say no to such a generous offer? I'll get the tape recorder for the music.

*queeq steps into his office green with jealousy, slams the door and plays with the lightning coming from his fingertips*

Tape recorder? we got a fabulous juke box.
And I thought it was Xizor who was green!
*Finti puts on "Over the hills" with Led Zeppelin, dance to this one. Should make out some interesting moves, if any

*queeq puts on his scuba gear and goes swimming, using the special exit in his office, out to catch more items for the fish slapping dance and to cool off*

Oh really queeq, when did YOU ever ask ME to dance ? You always ask Dimmy and you know it. And Ushgarak is a perfect gentleman, hmmm....aren't you ?

Cool music, finti. Thanks.

OK, maybe I haven't danced with you, but I've done just about anything else. Women! Never satisfied.
*shakes his head and puts his freshly caught fish on the grill*

Haven't you two been doing enough dancing in that closet?

Can't remember we did that. Did just about anything else.

Oh, queeq-darling, I just never knew you cared about me that much !!!! (Gundark lovingly throws her arms around queeq's neck) And all this time I foolishly thought you were after me for my stuffed slipper tail lobster, sauteed scallops in garlic and light cream sauce and grilled lemon pepper swordfish. Can you ever forgive me, me your number one Sith girl ??? (Gundark opens secret door to skeleton closet )

Errr... can't we have dinner first?

*turn up the music, the lights to the dancefloor, brings out the twilek dance girls*

Ladies and Gentlemen... and RC

Party time, drinks are on the house, so is the food. Chaos rules for 32 years today, so enjoy his birthday.

Say it with me: QUEEQ ABIDES!!!!

Let the party begin.

(Dressed in extremely gentlemanly manner)

May I have the pleasure, Gundark... when you're finsihed, of course, no hurry.

Uh... what was that about being a Sith?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!.....you old fogie

I'll have the house special.....as always on the house!

*slides the house special towards Raz*

There you go, My Master.

You're the man, Queeq/Queeg. Such a short time, and such a good friend already.

"My Master"? I could get used to that
Just call me Raz.

*comes carrying a huge package*

*drops package on the bar*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEQER!!!!

*A deadly looking green mist pools and forms in the center of the floor.*

*Rising up, tall and proud as the Spirit of Ratcat coalesces before the stunned patrons*

Greetings Queeq, I bring you Birthday wishes from beyond the grave. I will visit you no more.

*The Spirit of Ratcat dissolves away to leave no trace that it was ever here...*

http://website.lineone.net/~episode-2uk/sigs/spiritblade.jpg

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEQ-DARLING !!!! (Your present is in the skeleton closet, you can open it later ).

Wow, RC...I'm impressed, but I never realized how ugly that green suit really was.

Don't critize the dead, Gun...they'll haunt you

Thank you all sooo much, RC, Dim, Gundy and of course my well-esteemed Ushgarak.

Drinks are still on me. I'm using the full 24 hours to celebrate my birthday today.

Hey, RC, visit no more? Is that a present or are you being a party pooper?

*looks at the present on the bar Dim put there*
Hmmmm, I'm a little afraid to open that. You..you do it Dim, show me what it is.

OKay!..I'll show you...*giggles*
*opens the box and brings out the dead body of RC*
Sorry about the smell...

*places the corpse on the floor and lights candles around the body*
*starts to peform soft chants*
*takes a candle and lights RC's fingertips*
*watches the flames sit on his fingers*
*sits over RC, takes a flame and places it in his mouth*
*blows it into his body*
*the flames on his fingers get sucked into the skin and the skin starts glowing*
*RC wakes up*

Happy birthday queeq!

*Shakes himself down*

Boy, now THAT is something I don't ever want to do again!

*Looks around for queeq*

Hey queeqer, guess what... I BACK!!! Happy Birthday Dutchboy!

WOw, what a great present!

Well, a spectacular finale to my birthday.

*starts taking down the ornaments and sweeps the floor, the bar is almost empty now*

Tomorrow another day... us usual.

Every day is a great day around here!

Except for today. I've got an other deputation from the Gungans... who would have thought that underwater waste management would be such a problem?

I don't even want to think about those details!

*RC sit's down at the bar.*

Hmm, now what shall I have? Ahh, Barkeep, a flagon of your finest Gungans Blood please.

Finti hands RC a flagon of gungan blood and a milkshake.

Oh, finti. Serving Gungan blood should only be done in the secret bar in the back. We have the Gungan Civil Rights Movement checking on us regularly now. So be a little careful, please.

Enjoy it RC, squeezed it myself.

Ahhh! That hit's the spot. Looks at the milkshake and offers it to Dim.

I can just imagine what gungan corpses are gonna do to that overloaded waste management system now.

Wow, what a hangover...excellent birthday party, queeq !

You're welcome Gundy. Anything to give you a headache.

Hmmmm, well I usually don't go for blood with such a fishy tang.

Hey, you ordered it. Besides it's more amphibian than fishy.

I know, well it's either this or....

*Starts eyeing Dims neck*

*starts eyeing Dim's neck too*

Are you seeing what I see?

A garlic necklace ? Obviously you two are underestimating Dim's intelligence.

Is that what that is? It looks kinda weird. That's not garlic is it? Nah, garlic looks nice.

Nah, that's not garlic.

RC, I know you're not dead anymore, but now I'm starting to think you're un-dead.

*checks RC's teeth*

Could use some toothpaste, but aside from that, nothing weird here.

Heh heh, well maybe you should look again.

*Shakes his head to reveal a nasty case of Vamp Face*

*sighs* Okay Bat boy..
*opens RC's mouth and sticks corks on this teeth*

Bat Boy, that is such a misconception. For the man Drac maybe, but in general we just do this.

*Pulls corks off and sinks his fangs deep into Dims jugular.*

*squeals and flails around*

I DON'T WANNA BE UNDEAD!!!

*Pulls out a vibrodagger and slices across his chest.*

Now drink my love and join me in eternity.

*The Tavern suddenly lights up, blinding everyone there. When people regain their vision after 7 minutes they see queeq standing in the middle of the Tavern with a smoking tommy blaster in his hand, an arm around Dim. On the armoured ceiling there's a large dark spot where the laser hit. Dim and queeq look at the green puddle in the middle of the dance floor*

Some light, huh?

RC's last words were: I'm melting, I'm melting.

*queeq wakes up from his day dream*
*RC Looks up*

You should have known it was a dream old boy, a blast powerful enough to kill a Vampyre would have vapourised your little bar and most of the swamp water it rests in...

There's only three things to kill me: Holy Water, a stake through the heart or decapitation.

Besides, one little drop of my blood and she joins me.

*Takes a drop of blood and places it on Dims tongue.*

Go Vlad Tepez!!!!
Gungan Civil movement, what about the movement against anoying Jar Jar(MAAJJ). *Finti taps some more gungan blood*
Drink up lads!!

*As the single drop of RC's blood slips into Dim, he body begins to writhe and contort. Slowly her head raises and a wicked smile plays across he lips. Dimsillia is born!*

OK! Now it's time to party! Barman Finti, you have anything stronger? Blood of queeq perhaps?

Now queeq, I did warn you many moons ago that if you tried to destroy me, I would become more powerful than you could possibly imagine... I guess this is YOUR legacy!!!

*Finti taps some queeq blood, real flower power stuff*
Dimsillia?
*Finti reveals that the blood RC used is indeed tranberrie juice.*
Hands RC blood shot.

*RC points out to Finti that the blood he used came from the ;slash across his own chest that he sliced witha vibroblade earlier*

Listen, she's a child of the darkness now, but then even she may not accept her own fate. We shall see....

Ok, I'm back from talking from the Gungans and... what the heck has been happening here!!! Don't come near me, I have a rare blood disease. Or cancer. Of the liver. Or something nasty. Don't bring your fangs near me, all the same. Take Finti! He's strawberry flavoured!

Hang on... I AM a Jedi... I think decapitation would be easy enough. Or I'll just stay out of everyone's way.

Anyway, the Gungan's think that venting waste directly into the sea isn't really solving the problem. As for the Movement against annoying Jar Jar, is that to stop people from annyoing Jar Jar, or to stop Jar-Jar, the annoying one? I have to be clear to these people.

DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG
*queeq has stepped out of his office and rings the bar bell. Everyone wakes up from their joint and interconnected hallucination*

I can play that game.

Okay, finti. I told you to be careful with these natural drinks. You never where they've been. And you should watch the expiration date of the freshness every day. Look what you have done: everyone's spaced out. And what's RC doing licking Dim's neck? ONE MORE TIME: THIS IS A RESPECTABLE BAR!!!

That as may be, but the waste problem is very real...

That's why that wasn't part of the hallucination. Of course.

I'll get the gravitic plunger, anyway...

Sure. Need a donation?

I may need help with this bloody thing. It's much larger than it looked in the catalogue.

But it's only a temporary solution... I think the whole operation of an underwater bar is a lot more tricky than expected...

Oh yeah, the Gungan's are beginning to hear rumours about certain blood drinks. Keep it quiet, guys! And speaking as a Jedi, I'm not sure that's entirely right...

Huh? RC looks around confused. Yawn... What happened????

See Dim, you start messing with black forces and look what happens! NOw would you mind getting off of my lap, I told you before I'm not interested.

Here, RC, have a blue milk. That'll clear your mind.

As I see it Ush, we can have that thing installed on the south side of the Tavern. I have a few spare bubbles, you can use that one. As for the Gungans, never mind them. I have a drinking contest with Boss Nass tonight, I'll let him win and they'll be of our backs for a while.

Ush i forgot the before anoying, thanks for pointing that out, movement against the anoying Jar Jar. Hands Ush a milkshake.

Hmmm, there's definately something missing from this milkshake.

*RC get's up and disappears out the door.*

(Gundark stumbles in from her weekend meeting on Coruscant with the Tavern Association) Man, that transport was on its last leg....queeq, I think you could have made me some better reservations. Here's the updated rules and regs...(hands queeq a foot-high stack of papers, looks around) What the heck happened in here ? The drinkbot go on the fritz again ?

*RC wanders back it wiping simething red fdrom his lips.*

*Sits down and looks innocent.*

*finti goes out to the backroom to check the strawberry jar*, aha somebody been sneaking jam.

*mixed the regulations in the blue milk blender*

Yes, finti, I know. We've got a lot of that lately. Ever since RC returned actually. I wonder if there's a connection.

Gundy, I didn't make any reservations. Maybe that was the problem.

Jam, Yes! That's what it was, jam.

You could have just asked.

Ok, queeq you got any O positive Jam???

I dunno. Have to go and check.

Well be quick about it then!

Two weeks delivery period. Sorry dude.

OH well.

OK, special medical emergency on the surface. I need you all to line up and tell me you blood groups!

If that card game went well, Queeq, I'll get the plumbing set up properly tonight.

As for the MATAJJ... well, I'm told the Gungans are a little split on the issue. Half of them remind me that he was actually thrown out the city, so they think he's no better, while the other half seem to think he's the hero of some big battle or something...

MATAJJ? What's that.

And Boss Nass is drunk as a dodo. I pretended to pass out. Teeeheee.

Thank god you're here, queeq, there's been nothing going here for ages...

That's the Movement against the Annoying Jar-Jar, courtesy of finti.I have to liase the bad as well as the good, the hostile and the non-hostile... actually, I haven't been able to give ANY non-hostile messages to the Gungans. So far it;s been eating them and their food supply, drinking their blood, dumping waste in their water, and some odd cases of suspected vampirism (presumably whatever halluciongen it was leaked into the water) and now insults against their citizens, no mater how justified... they are not happy with me!

Try not to give Boss Nass liver failure.He's the only Gungan leader we can work with...

(Gundark polishes the hilt of her lightsaber) queeq, what do you mean you didn't make the reservations ? I thought you took care of that ! I shared the whole flight back with a leaky shipment of boonta spice. Yeesh.

You're really doing a great job with those Gungans, Ush. If it wasn't for you, they'd have probably popped the cork on the Tavern by now.

*Dim sits under a table and stares off into the distance. Rocking back and forth and muttering to herself*
O positive...gonna eat me.

O Positive huh Dim, come over to thiw private booth. I have some etchings I'd like to show you.

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII do not think that's a very good idea. Sit over at the bar, Dim.

*takes her by the hand and takes her there, hangs garlic around her neck as well as a couple of crosses. queeq then starts to decorate the place with garlic and crosses.*

Ding Dong

*queeq walks out to the hallway and re-enters the bar with a delegation of Gungans*

Step into my office gentlemen.

*queeq and the Gungans disappear in queeq's office. After a while a lot of laughter is heard coming out of the office*

Hmmm, well the garlic will be nice for the cheese bread but that's about all. And what's with these crosses? Do you think I'd be silly enough to actually touch one?

Not touching is exactly the idea.

Ush, the Gungans are ready for you now. We just watched some home videos Jar-Jar's parents made. I got my hands on them last night. They're open for negotiations now. Your call, dude.

Now that is lower than Jabba's belly button!

What is?

Something pretty darn low, that's for sure...

Uhhh...oh....okay. *taps his forehead as he glances at Dim*

Drink RC?

Sorry, it's the Disney in me!

There's that word again.

Sorry, I just get very excited whenever I know I'm about to go visit with the short, big eared one.