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Can Lou spank Jackman?

Morals off for both

Spite

TV Hulk couldn't even withstand bullets.

Umm, Ferrigno-Hulk threw a bear across a lake, so he wins

7tMySMJtMws
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tMySMJtMws

He also stopped or slowed a hydraulic press of some sort.

He's also punched through a concrete floor to escape being caged, which they might had given a nod to in AoU.

poor Logan

If Wolverine goes for the heart he could win or the head.

If this happened, Wolverine would cut him, make him really mad, Wolverine would get thrown away like the bear, and at the end of the episode they would somehow come together and fight the real bad guys together.