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Over this weekend, I ended my nearly two-month long NoFap streak. Why did I quit?

The folks in that community addressed my concerns and told me I was doing it for the wrong reasons.


I started NoFap because I felt I was becoming too dependent on the dopamine rush accompanying masturbation. I needed it to go to sleep, and I relied on it to relive stress accompanying college exams and such. I'd say that 70% of the time my sessions lasted under two minutes. I treated it like a drug, and I hated the actual chore of 'doing the dirty thing'.

Now there were a few times in between where I would genuinely 'enjoy myself' by taking it slow, reading an erotic fan fiction to one of my fantasy female crushes (e.g Raven), maybe watching a high-quality, intimate love-making session and analogize it to one of my crushes, etc. These sessions were a treat and typically happened inconsistently based on my emotions. They weren't a chore, but I still hated the 'low' feeling that occurred after orgasm.


Anyway, my reasons for NoFap eventually evolved into me wanting to completely abstain from sexual acts, thoughts, etc. I was beginning to realize that I was being easily manipulated by women in my day-to-day life because I was thinking with my penis, so to speak. My social-intelligence is not that great either, so I knew that if I didn't get rid of this biological attraction to women I'd end up becoming a cuck or tool in the future. My judgement was completely screwed because of testosterone.


Here is what I observed about my behaviors before, during, and after NoFap.


Pre-NoFap: I was your typical hormonal teenager. Fapped nearly every day of the week. Had a normal attraction to women and sex, but it wasn't overwhelming. I could contain myself, but my thoughts allowed women to manipulate me, use their superior social/emotional intelligence against me: In school, at work, even online. It accepted that this was my biggest weakness and it needed to stop.

1-2 weeks into NoFap: I was feeling great. My energy levels were up. I was feeling more ambitious than usual. I felt slightly more focused mentally. In the gym, at school; my efficiency increased as I utilized this 'boost'. I was still able to ignore women when I needed to, but I wasn't immune to the problems I originally had.

1 month into NoFap: I noticed I was becoming more irritable and easily aggravated. Women were beginning to distract me in ways they didn't before. Even in modest clothing my mind couldn't stop creating unwanted sexual fantasies about the women in my day-to-day life. Clearly this was beginning to back-fire as my original problems were being made worse, not better. The only plus was that my ambition continued to increase, but my academic focus in the classroom was greatly hindered due to the girls.

The final days of NoFap: Basically everything just went to shit and I was beginning to lose my mind. I wish I was living in Saudi Arabia just so I wouldn't have to see women exposed. My thoughts were constantly being overwhelmed with sexual images and I couldn't focus on anything.

I honestly felt like this all the time:

DBgeEa3t-uA

The T-X is women. I am the terminator.

T-X has corrupted my mind with sexual thoughts. I cannot control my bodily wants, but my mind is trying to resist. Desire is very relevant, and I am not a machine. My mission is to ensure that the foundation is put in place to allow the rise of transhumanist technologies and if needed AI takeover. Me succumbing to animal instincts would be me failing my mission, so I basically shut myself down.


End of NoFap: So I went wild for the next 2-3 days, but it was not without serious consequence. Here I am now, and combined with the anti-androgen treatment I was doing (spearmint tea), my testosterone levels completely plummeted. I feel completely apathetic, I don't feel a need to pursue my ambitions or goals, My sexual attraction women has diminished greatly (though it is still present). Worst of all, I cannot draw from the dark-side of the force. When I try to call upon feelings of anger, I get nothing. I can't even seem to get myself angry. I've become emotionless. As a self-proclaimed Sith, this is extremely problematic since our energy is drawn from passion.

I no longer feel a need to pursue immortality, a lucrative/prestigious career, or even higher education. My low testosterone levels are now endangering my future and health. I might even say I'm becoming depressed. I've greatly diminished my attraction to women, but I don't think it's worth the consequences.


I'm very lost and am not sure as to how to proceed. It seems I can never have it both ways. I will be receiving chaste tree berries soon to accompany the spearmint treatment; it will likely worsen my current condition. It's like the fire powering the ship's boilers are extinguished and now my vessel is floating dead at sea.

I don't know if this is purely due to the testosterone or serotonin levels. Are the two correlated? I don't know the answers.


I seek your opinions and remain open to advice as long as you can justify it.


I'm not proofreading this so sorry for typos and simplistic/repetitive sentence structures. I was just pouring out my thoughts rapid fire.

lol

I know you didn't read it, Surt.

I can read quite fast actually. You tried not "fapping". At first you felt great, then you didn't.

Then it's some stuff about the dark side and you being a sith.

How exactly did you pursue immortality?

I read the first sentence then skipped to the last three sentences.

You should really get laid, Kurk. Preferably in a stable relationship with a woman or man (let's be honest, you're probably gay or at least bi) End this incel-rage nonsense; it's not doing you any good.

Cucked by your own cock and balls.

I have to assume this is just a troll post.

Originally posted by Surtur
How exactly did you pursue immortality? I'm a biochemist trying to pursue research opportunities concerning telomerase reactivation in somatic cells: https://www.nature.com/articles/nature09603

Originally posted by Kurk
I'm a biochemist trying to pursue research opportunities concerning telomerase reactivation in somatic cells: https://www.nature.com/articles/nature09603

Where were you trained in biochemistry?

Originally posted by Surtur
Where were you trained in biochemistry? I'm an undergrad student.
Originally posted by Robtard
I read the first sentence then skipped to the last three sentences.

You should really get laid, Kurk. Preferably in a stable relationship with a woman or man (let's be honest, you're probably gay or at least bi) End this incel-rage nonsense; it's not doing you any good.
Don't you understand that's where my power is drawn from? Apathy is the way of failure. I secretly admire the incel ragers as I fantasize about harnessing their power and leading them collectively to victory.

great thread, would read again

The Hand Lotion Companies can breath a sigh of relief at this news.

Seek professional help before we all hear about you on the news someday.

Also the force isn't real. Also find better porn.

Originally posted by BackFire
Seek professional help before we all hear about you on the news someday.

Also the force isn't real. Also find better porn.

The good thing about incels like Kurk and Surtur, they fall into the 99.999~% of the incel-ragers, they won't actually go out and shoot people and/or run them over with a vehicle, the worst they'll do is not be polite by not holding a door open for the mother with a stroller walking behind them and then quietly smugly laugh how they're sticking it to the matriarchy.

Originally posted by Robtard
The good thing about incels like Kurk and Surtur, they fall into the 99.999~% of the incel-ragers, they won't actually go out and shoot people and/or run them over with a vehicle, the worst they'll do is not be polite by not holding a door open for the mother with a stroller walking behind them and then quietly smugly laugh how they're sticking it to the matriarchy.

I love how you have to bring me up in threads that have nothing to do with me. Shows the Surtur Derangement Syndrome is running strong in you.

I love how trig'd you are by me that you follow me around in every thread I post in, lapping at every word I type. <3

ps This thread is about incels; you're an incel; I was on topic. DEAL. WITH. IT. ALREADY.

Originally posted by Robtard
I love how trig'd you are by me that you follow me around in every thread I post in, lapping at every word I type. <3

ps This thread is about incels; you're an incel; I was on topic. DEAL. WITH. IT. ALREADY.

Lol the topic is about Kurk kiddo. I'm not an incel, despite how many times you desperately try to claim so.

Try to cure that SDS.

Originally posted by Robtard
The good thing about incels like Kurk and Surtur, they fall into the 99.999~% of the incel-ragers, they won't actually go out and shoot people and/or run them over with a vehicle, the worst they'll do is not be polite by not holding a door open for the mother with a stroller walking behind them and then quietly smugly laugh how they're sticking it to the matriarchy.

Surt is very relevant here yeah

Originally posted by Beniboybling


Surt is very relevant here yeah

SDS is spreading. Too funny.

Surt is an incel? For real?

Originally posted by Robtard
The good thing about incels like Kurk and Surtur, they fall into the 99.999~% of the incel-ragers, they won't actually go out and shoot people and/or run them over with a vehicle, the worst they'll do is not be polite by not holding a door open for the mother with a stroller walking behind them and then quietly smugly laugh how they're sticking it to the matriarchy.
Lol I'm actually very polite to women. I'm like Gustavo Fring. My true intentions are never known to those outside a select few.

I don't identify as an incel. I do admire them though for their untamed power. Incels are easy to manipulate and can utilized for a variety of tasks. I don't condone running over crowds in vans though. I need them to focus on longer-term ideas like transhumanist technologies and obtaining power.

Originally posted by BackFire
Seek professional help before we all hear about you on the news someday.

Also the force isn't real. Also find better porn.
The force isn't real but God is?

The president of the Phillipines said he'd resign if they can prove God exists. Lol.

Duterte is the man though, for real. Hilarious AF too.

He's an awful human being who I hope dies a slow death, but this specific thing is funny.

Yeah, I have to admit how hypocritical it is to despise Trump but praise Duterte, Putin, and other 'dictators' who cause needless suffering for their people.

It's Schadenfreude I guess.

Originally posted by Kurk
Yeah, I have to admit how hypocritical it is to despise Trump but praise Duterte, Putin, and other 'dictators' who cause needless suffering for their people.

It's Schadenfreude I guess.

I agree, it is similar to how the side that sort of praised Castro and has folk wearing t-shirts of Che Guevera and prasied Hugo Chavez...talk shit about Trump rubbing elbows with dictators.

Wait, so it does reflect back on you and your morals with who you praise? Cos it seemingly didn't when certain people praised the former members and incel racist here like ziggy and itsxyz. Imho, you should pick one and stick with it.

Originally posted by Robtard
Wait, so it does reflect back on you and your morals with who you praise? Cos it seemingly didn't when certain people praised the former members and incel racist here like ziggy and itsxyz. Imho, you should pick one and stick with it.

If you're wearing a damn t-shirt of the guy and shit, yeah it does.

Originally posted by Kurk
Surt is an incel? For real? you should create a forum together

Originally posted by Surtur
If you're wearing a damn t-shirt of the guy and shit, yeah it does.

So verbal praise and open friendliness doesn't count, the line is drawn at wearing shirts? Lolz, honestly sounds like you're making special rules again.

Originally posted by Robtard
So verbal praise and open friendliness doesn't count, the line is drawn at wearing shirts? Lolz, honestly sounds like you're making special rules again.

There is a difference between some open friendliness online and what these folk do.

Buuut you tried. A for effort. Sadly there will be no gotcha here

Originally posted by Surtur
There is a difference between some open friendliness online and what these folk do.

Buuut you tried. A for effort. Sadly there will be no gotcha here

IOW: Special Rules for me but not for thee

Originally posted by Robtard
IOW: Special Rules for me but not for thee

Nah, but you tried.

And as a leftist you have no room to even whisper a whine about "rules for thee but not for me". Don't forget that.

Originally posted by Kurk
The force isn't real but God is?

No. Both are fake.

Originally posted by BackFire
No. Both are fake. Agreed, all good fiction though. I always like the Greek gods best all that turning into goats and ****ing women and shit after seducing them as a furry animal. Your average greek God would probably get prime ass now by turning into some starlets handbag dog, he'd at least get to hump an A-listers leg that way.

God makes a great super villain though. Dude kills babies. Any hero would wanna beat him down.

Originally posted by Surtur
God makes a great super villain though. Dude kills babies. Any hero would wanna beat him down. Well, let's be honest he almost becomes a ****ing vampire when he is called down by the Moses to kill the Egyptians, all that marking in blood houses to be avoided etc. Great shit.

Isn't there a movie where Jesus kills vampires? He gonna have to kill God now.

Jesus is also God. What in the hell did they teach you at Catholic school?

Originally posted by Robtard
Jesus is also God. What in the hell did they teach you at Catholic school?

Epic fail.

Are you not aware of the concept of the Holy Trinity? Kinda/sorta important in the Christian faith.

Epic fail, legendary memory is failing you kid.

Okay, I will enlighten you on what should have been day one teaching in your Catholic School. God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost (some say spirit) are one and the same. Three facets of the same supreme entity. YW.

Originally posted by Robtard
Okay, I will enlighten you on what should have been day one teaching in your Catholic School. God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost (some say spirit) are one and the same. Three facets of the same supreme entity. YW.

I've commented on how Jesus is God before, and all that. Where was the legendary memory?

And just so you know: no, I absolutely will not be tracking down these posts. Feel free to do so if you need to.

Yes, you know after I've just told you. How brave. *claps*

Let me guess, you also knew Jesus was a Jew, right.

Originally posted by Robtard
Yes, you know after I've just told you. How brave. *claps*

Let me guess, you also knew Jesus was a Jew, right.

I knew before that. Once again: your legendary memory claims are done. Do not ever claim it again. Enjoy your evening

*citation needed*

Originally posted by Surtur
Jesus did seem to show respect for his dad, but the thing is he is his own daddy in a way. Oh and that same daddy made a rule that you need to honor your parents. So technically it is a sin for Jesus to question this genocidal maniac or not show him respect.

There is no "you can disrespect your parents if they are monsters" clause.

The entire thing started when God sent his lesser abominations to flat out tell Mary this was going to happen and that she'd get pregnant.

But in reality we're being trolled. God is a supposedly cosmic being who has a son that is not only his son but another aspect of him, and then expects us all to kneel before God because he let his kid die for like 3 days. A sacrifice is when you actually lose something, not a 72 hour nap in a cave.

He isn't a good parent no more than the crazy women who drown their kids in bathtubs are good parents. I'm not a child of God, and if I am holy shit it's time to get emancipated ASAP.

"He is his own daddy". Weird! Why would I claim that?

Originally posted by Surtur
I guess here is my question about this "sacrifice" God made. If God is omnipotent, he can't ever truly die. If Jesus is indeed God in human form, what specifically did God give up? His human form was '"dead" for a few days, and then rose again. Then he chose to ascend to heaven. This is God we're talking about, nothing could have actually stopped him from just continuing to walk among us after he resurrected.

When you look at it that way, isn't it odd that we are expected to be grateful for this?

Womp womp.

1) Lol @ you "I'm not looking!" only to go looking

2) If you'll notice I was not a apart of that thread, so how am I supposed to remember something I've not read. So that's another fail.

Originally posted by Robtard
1) Lol @ you "I'm not looking!" only to go looking

2) If you'll notice I was not a apart of that six-post thread, so how am I supposed to remember something I've not read. So that's another fail.

I decided to look cuz I knew you'd whine like a little b*tch.

You were proven wrong kid. Do better.

Originally posted by BackFire
Also the force isn't real.

https://media.giphy.com/media/jrvfKvr2mmcFO/giphy.gif

Originally posted by Surtur
Womp womp.

Well that was easy:

Originally posted by Robtard
1) Lol @ you "I'm not looking!" only to go looking

2) If you'll notice I was not a apart of that thread, so how am I supposed to remember something I've not read. So that's another fail.

Those aren't the only places it has been mentioned though. Just the first few I noticed.

Do better You lost.

IOW: You claimed you weren't going to find proof of me not remembering whatever, then went looking like a #truecuck anyways and you didn't find it so you posted something else while claiming victory

Originally posted by Robtard
IOW: You claimed you weren't going to find proof of me not remembering whatever, then went looking like a #truecuck anyways and you didn't find it so you posted something else while claiming victory

Posted things showing I know what the religion claims, cuz you whined.

Yeah, I shouldn't have said I wouldn't do it, cuz little weasels like you would whine.

But I did it, and you still whine and dismiss.

Your claim was that you said it and I failed to remember (see your post below). You failed to prove that, my son.

Originally posted by Surtur
Epic fail, legendary memory is failing you kid.

Unless I'm supposed to remember something I've not read; wasn't in the thread?

I won't be tracking down every single time I said it. I showed I know about the religion.

If you're gonna be a weasel and act like you didn't know and never ever saw it said, okie dokie. Weasels gotta weasel.

IOW: Despite looking for proof that my memory failed, you couldn't provide it, so you posted posts from threads I was never a part of

Really try and do better for yourself, my son

Originally posted by Robtard
IOW: Despite looking for proof that my memory failed, you couldn't provide it

Nah, do better kid.

Do yourself a favor, don't stay up all night again looking for something that doesn't exist.

Originally posted by Robtard
Do yourself a favor, don't stay up all night again looking for something that doesn't exist.

Do yourself a favor: sign offline and spend some time with your kids.

Originally posted by Surtur
Do yourself a favor: sign offline and spend some time with your kids.
KRiOEsyZSX8

Originally posted by Surtur
Do yourself a favor: sign offline and spend some time with your kids.

^Ohhohoho, Surt's legit angry right now because he made a claim and then failed to prove it

Originally posted by Robtard
^Ohhohoho, Surt's legit angry right now because he made a claim and then failed to prove it

If that's how you need to spin it. Seriously though, go spend some time with your kids. Don't be a weekend dad.

Originally posted by Surtur
If that's how you need to spin it. Seriously though, go spend some time with your kids. Don't be a weekend dad.

^ TI would try the same tactic when I enraged him :0

Seriously though Surt, are you really an incel? What level wizard are you?


@BackFire

Yeah obviously I don't really think the force is real, but it makes things more fun, ya know?

I'm pretty fluid with religions. I can be Buddhist one day, Zoroastrian the next, etc. It's all fun and games and it exercises my imagination.

The Sith & Jedi codes are legit though, and there is no reason why one can't follow them.

Maybe play catch or something, I dunno.

Originally posted by Kurk
Worst of all, I cannot draw from the dark-side of the force. When I try to call upon feelings of anger, I get nothing. I can't even seem to get myself angry. I've become emotionless. As a self-proclaimed Sith, this is extremely problematic since our energy is drawn from passion.




Post a picture of yourself, I need to get a look at who posted this.

Originally posted by Kurk
Seriously though Surt, are you really an incel? What level wizard are you?




Lol...nope. Just a guy who has had the misfortune of dating skanks.

Originally posted by Damborgson


Post a picture of yourself, I need to get a look at who posted this.

It's been theorized that he's a skinny Indian (Dot; not Feather) kid who apparently has thinning hair now.

Originally posted by Surtur
Lol...nope. Just a guy who has had the misfortune of dating skanks.


^ It's always the other person's fault, never his :0

Originally posted by Robtard
It's been theorized that he's a skinny Indian (Dot; not Feather) kid who apparently has thinning hair now.

Woah, why would you imply all indians either have dots or feathers?

WHY!

Originally posted by Robtard
^ It's always the other person's fault, never his :0

It probably is my fault I attract a specific kind of female...you got me there.

Originally posted by Robtard
It's been theorized that he's a skinny Indian (Dot; not Feather) kid who apparently has thinning hair now. Lowering the t-levels will fix the head. Also gets rid of nasty body hair and hopefully I won't need to shave my face as much.

Why do you date skanks then, Surt?

Pinocchio, why don't girls like you? I mean you have no job, a school level education and you don't like women... I don't understand it.

Originally posted by Kurk
Yeah obviously I don't really think the force is real

https://media0.giphy.com/media/3o751VKrpSfzwl9T3y/giphy.gif

Originally posted by Kurk
Lowering the t-levels will fix the head. Also gets rid of nasty body hair and hopefully I won't need to shave my face as much.

You'll also lose muscle mass(or not gain it in your case), get soggy and man-titties.

@Kurk, your trolling cracks me up! Kudos "son".

Originally posted by Putinbot1
Pinocchio, why don't girls like you? I mean you have no job, a school level education and you don't like women... I don't understand it.

A true mystery, unsolvable

Originally posted by Kurk
Why do you date skanks then, Surt?

Well Kurk...I don't. I would never date a woman who was up front and said "I'm a skank". I dated women who turned out to be skanky.

Let me give you a tip if you ever date. If a girl says she only has male friends cuz she just "doesn't get along with other women" run for the hills.

Originally posted by Putinbot1
@Kurk, your trolling cracks me up! Kudos "son".

I can't tell if it's trolling or real.

Originally posted by Surtur
Well Kurk...I don't. I would never date a woman who was up front and said "I'm a skank". I dated women who turned out to be skanky.

Let me give you a tip if you ever date. If a girl says she only has male friends cuz she just "doesn't get along with other women" run for the hills.

It's time you let that go and move on with your life. High School is High School.

Originally posted by Surtur
Well Kurk...I don't. I would never date a woman who was up front and said "I'm a skank". I dated women who turned out to be skanky.

Let me give you a tip if you ever date. If a girl says she only has male friends cuz she just "doesn't get along with other women" run for the hills. Most people don't live up to others expectations, yesterday we found out Fly had a micropenis. However, Pinocchio, it's worth remembering that nobody is perfect and people need to compromise to make anything work.

Originally posted by Robtard
It's time you let that go and move on with your life. High School is High School.

If only my high school years were the only time I dated a ho, ya kno?

Originally posted by Putinbot1
Most people don't live up to others expectations, yesterday we found out Fly had a micropenis. However, Pinocchio, it's worth remembering that nobody is perfect and people need to compromise to make anything work.

I don't expect perfection, just non-skankyness.

I feel like if it's difficult to not be skanky...yeah, that girl ain't for me.

Originally posted by Putinbot1
Pinocchio, why don't girls like you? I mean you have no job, a school level education and you don't like women... I don't understand it. Surtur's jobless too? Oh boy this keeps getting better. Hypocrite conservative probably lives off welfare.
Originally posted by Robtard
You'll also lose muscle mass(or not gain it in your case), get soggy and man-titties.
Here's the thing:

Testosterone makes you into a god damn ape. Also, remember that thread I made a while back about men being the reason for society's problems? That's testosterone's fault.

- We don't need muscles in a world of machinery and technology
- We don't need body hair in a world of clothing and heat
- Testosterone levels correlate with having dark-triad personality traits (narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism)
- Testosterone is also thought to be linked to autism
- Basically testosterone just makes you less empathetic, and less of people person. It has no place in the 21st century.


High estrogen levels will give you man boobs; the fat index can be countered by the gym.

Kurk just inject soy directly into your bloodstream.

Fly has a small dick? Surtur still dwells in his high-school years despite being a grown ass 30+ year old man? Oh boy this keeps getting better and better. Keep 'em coming Puttybot!

Originally posted by Surtur
Kurk just inject soy directly into your bloodstream. Link me to pubmed and I'll consider it.

Originally posted by Kurk
Fly has a small dick? Surtur still dwells in his high-school years despite being a grown ass 30+ year old man? Oh boy this keeps getting better and better. Keep 'em coming Puttybot!

If you're going to believe everything Putinbot says...yeah, you're doomed.

My chaste tree berry tea has arrived (Amazon shipping is super fast even when you select the cheapest non-Prime option). I'm hesitant to go through with this as I'm having second thoughts, but I'll let you guys know in a few days if it changes much.

Lol...

Convert to the light side?

Originally posted by The Ellimist
Convert to the light side? I feel as though without testosterone I am converting to the light-side.

There is no emotion. There is peace.
There is no ignorance. There is knowledge
There is no passion. There is serenity.
There is no chaos. There is harmony.
There is no death. There is the force (I don't believe in this line though)


Before this I considered myself to be a light-Sith as I looked up to Vectivus, Gravid, and Dooku, but now, I can't even justify following the Sith code any longer.

Without test, my ambitions are gone. I feel no need to pursue my goals. Achieving immortality is pointless to me as I no longer feel the need to dominate or rule over people. I'm completely apathetic.

I think to myself "What is that you want Kurk? What do you want out of life?", and frankly, I can't come up with an answer.

I shall become a jedi-monk to try and ascertain this answer.

The only thing I might want to help contribute to is the advancement of AI. I wish for an AI take over simply because humans are too flawed biologically to advance ourselves any further with good results. We've reached the point of diminishing returns.

If my master finds out I am abandoning the Sith, he will have me killed for sure.


If I'm being honest, this all comes down to MythLord. Myth is the only one here who has spoken to me about Raven. I hold Raven dear and near, and since Myth is the closest embodiment of Raven I know of (meaning, when I need a second opinion on Raven I go to him for guidance), I usually do as he says.

Myth told me to an hero after I revealed my original Sith-type visions for the future. He didn't like my ambition as it would hurt many people. So I asked myself, "what would Raven do?". Ultimately, I decided that Myth was right, and that in order to mold myself into somebody Raven would respect, I needed to change myself.

Testosterone is the reason for all the problems with humanity. Dark triad personality traits are correlated with it, and it makes men impulsive, selfish, and callous to other's emotions. By de-masculizing myself, I am diminishing these negative traits. I'm not saying I want to become a women, per-say, but gender neutral and asexual at least.

So far it has worked. I've been drinking spearmint tea regularly which is an anti-androgen in itself. When I start using Chaste Tree, a "female's herb", I expect that I will have lost all ambition, narcissism, and willingness to do harm.

I am doing this for MythLord. I am doing this for Raven.

Wait if you're having such a struggle with life and hormones why would you want to be immortal?

Originally posted by Surtur
Wait if you're having such a struggle with life and hormones why would you want to be immortal? There is no rational reason to want to be immortal anymore now that my T-levels are low. Again, ambition is gone.

Originally posted by Kurk
There is no rational reason to want to be immortal anymore now that my T-levels are low. Again, ambition is gone.

And you achieved this by drinking tea?

Originally posted by Surtur
And you achieved this by drinking tea? Well it's herbal anti-androgens. Just like chewing tobacco, you start with the 'candy' stuff and work your way up to the super strong Rx stuff.

Maybe stop drinking that then.

Originally posted by BackFire
Maybe stop drinking that then. uh...no? That's like the whole point of this...

I thought you were just complaining about what the tea is doing to you.

Originally posted by Kurk
I feel as though without testosterone I am converting to the light-side.

There is no emotion. There is peace.
There is no ignorance. There is knowledge
There is no passion. There is serenity.
There is no chaos. There is harmony.
There is no death. There is the force (I don't believe in this line though)


Before this I considered myself to be a light-Sith as I looked up to Vectivus, Gravid, and Dooku, but now, I can't even justify following the Sith code any longer.

Without test, my ambitions are gone. I feel no need to pursue my goals. Achieving immortality is pointless to me as I no longer feel the need to dominate or rule over people. I'm completely apathetic.

I think to myself "What is that you want Kurk? What do you want out of life?", and frankly, I can't come up with an answer.

I shall become a jedi-monk to try and ascertain this answer.

The only thing I might want to help contribute to is the advancement of AI. I wish for an AI take over simply because humans are too flawed biologically to advance ourselves any further with good results. We've reached the point of diminishing returns.

If my master finds out I am abandoning the Sith, he will have me killed for sure.


If I'm being honest, this all comes down to MythLord. Myth is the only one here who has spoken to me about Raven. I hold Raven dear and near, and since Myth is the closest embodiment of Raven I know of (meaning, when I need a second opinion on Raven I go to him for guidance), I usually do as he says.

Myth told me to an hero after I revealed my original Sith-type visions for the future. He didn't like my ambition as it would hurt many people. So I asked myself, "what would Raven do?". Ultimately, I decided that Myth was right, and that in order to mold myself into somebody Raven would respect, I needed to change myself.

Testosterone is the reason for all the problems with humanity. Dark triad personality traits are correlated with it, and it makes men impulsive, selfish, and callous to other's emotions. By de-masculizing myself, I am diminishing these negative traits. I'm not saying I want to become a women, per-say, but gender neutral and asexual at least.

So far it has worked. I've been drinking spearmint tea regularly which is an anti-androgen in itself. When I start using Chaste Tree, a "female's herb", I expect that I will have lost all ambition, narcissism, and willingness to do harm.

I am doing this for MythLord. I am doing this for Raven.
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/310/800/e98.gif

C'mon Myth, bite.

Kurk there is something I want you to consider. Perhaps it might even blow your mind. You're ALREADY immortal. Proof:

-you survived the net neutrality repeal
-you survived us leaving the climate accords
-you survived Trump tax cuts
-you survived pulling out of the Iran deal

Billions dead, but YOU survive. F*cking immortality.

Originally posted by Surtur
Kurk there is something I want you to consider. Perhaps it might even blow your mind. You're ALREADY immortal. Proof:

-you survived the net neutrality repeal
-you survived us leaving the climate accords
-you survived Trump tax cuts
-you survived pulling out of the Iran deal

Billions dead, but YOU survive. F*cking immortality. Is your life so boring that you feel the need to politicize everything to get a reaction out of yourself?