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Feel free to post reviews and commnets - but don't flame, my Muse is fragile!

Fragile Muse?

Well, post the story.

2nd chapter is unfinished as yet... do you even want it?

Btw, all of the above is ONE chapter...

Someone review?

It's good. Jumps around a lot early on but it is good!

Only thing is, from what I know of Logan he would actually HAVE to be beaten by something before he backed out of a fight, doubly so a fight to save a girl. He would have had a crack at that Snake guy. he's pretty hard, after alL!

It jumps cos I kinda go for the visual effect... I could never make a movie, so I try and interpret it in words... I fail, which is why my siggy quote so is me!

finally read it too, hey, I do keep my promises

I'm not good at X-men, but I liked it

Nice story, I must say I'm curious about the second chapter and (you might guess it) I'm still hoping for Gambit to show up in the story. Of the record, well written. I myself write little stories too (place them in Elfwood), but I don't get the hang of the story-language, you do.

Post 'em Scorpy!! 2nd chappie is incomplete, and I'm open to ideas of how to progress! I will def have to work Gambit in - I know how muchly you are obsessive about him! If he's in the next movie, you might get your plushie after all...

*cheers and runs around like a crazy chicken without a head*

*rolls around on the floor laughing*

Very good Phoenix. Very good indeed.

Chapter One redone, chapter two new! posting... NOW!

and thats the end of that chapter! (thats a quote from the simpsons!)


What d'ya think? What needs changin? and scorpy, do you want gambit to be adult or teen?

I like the jumping part just like a movie

again, I don't know much about x-men, but I certainly don't hate this story at all

Adult ofcourse, how else can the charming cajun take away my heart?

lol very cool! I want more!!!! I need more!!!! wheres the rest?! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

think that pretty much says it phoe

YAY! Chapter 3 is in progress - v. v. visual, so hard to put in words, so you'll have to bear with it!

Are there any criticisms? as long as they're constructive, I will welcome them!

WANT 3 NOW! I hate reading WIP!
Must write faster! Oh wanna see Storm kick but with cool attitude and lots of lightining!

Me...Confused...Like it, no love it but need plot in layman term.I'm kinda lost

thank oo, peeples. i would appreciate some constructive criticism tho - how can i make it better?

Post the rest?

well, here is chapter three, specially for Kes. its not very good, cos I tried to write a... well, I wont spoil it, I'll make comments AFTER I've posted it!

its short, and pretty pants. Its full of visual, that I just couldn't communicate in words. I hate it, but cant make it better. anyone have any comments?

ok, reposting from the beginning, cos I've changed bits... again!

so, what d'ya think?

why is everyone good at writing??

*hugs yerss*

you're great at writing!

sure
*pats phoe on the head*

you should post more

blergh. writers block

again? can't you get rid of it?

Thanks

lol Its good. But where's the rest *walks back and fourth impatiently*
And where's Storm?
I'm very demanding

we noticed! I'm already glad phoe explained who scott is

PHOE YOU SHOULD WRITE WITH BOPRECRUIT16

Ok, so I've made changes AGAIN, so I'm reposting...

Wow, I'm really enjoying this.... I agree on the needs of character developing, and I'm not Southern so I dunno.

Overall 8.5/10

Well... I think the narrative in the first half still jumps around too much. Too many perspectives in too short a time.

I don't like the melodrama of the main character, but that's probably because I have never cared much for the teenage angst vibe.

The second half is better as far as I am concerned and I do not care a jot that not much happens in the last chapter- if anything that improves a story that was RACING along at a pretty extended pace!

As for character development... one has to be careful with an all-conquering villain... Magneto is a great bad guy because of his brains and plkanning rather thasn his ability to be able to take on everyone at once.