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List some of the bad things you have been thru...like near death experiences, or bad luck, car wrecks, illnesses, etc.


I will start us off.

When I was about 9 years old, I was playing at a neighbors house with 2 other kids a little younger than me. The boys mom(whos house we where playing at) needed to run across the street to get something, so she ask me to watch the other kids for a few minutes. While she was out, her son starting chasing the other kid with a hammer saying"Im an indian , and Im gonna scalp you!" He was really swing the hammer at the other kid who was crying and screaming, bascially running for his life. Well I (being the hero I am-ha ha) jumped in front of the kid with the hammer and told him to stop and put down the hammer! He didnt like that and he swung the hammer at me, I tried to turn to get out of the way , but the hammer struck me in my lower back and my feet immediately went out from under me! Well after a trip to the emergency room and x-rays( I couldnt walk or bend at the waist for about 2 hours!) the doctor told my mom , that if the kid had hit me a little harder I would have been paralyzed from the waist down!

wow.
well, this isnt bad, its embarrassing. but in year nine, i was sitting on the computer doing whatever, and then i suddenly looked all around me and there was noone there.
lunch had ended half and hour ago and i was still sitting there
actually that happened yesterday too.

really into your work, huh!

After reading your sig, leia. Heres a joke for you!

Adam was talking to God about how he was lonely and needed a mate. God told him he had the perfect mate for him. One that would do whatever he told her to do, cook and clean, never nag him, always be in the mood for sex, basically worship the ground he walked on! Adam said that would be great. But what do I have to do for it? God said , well it will cost you! I will need to take one of your arms and one of your legs to make her. Adam , thought for a second and said .. what can I get for a rib?

hehe i like it

God created man, wasnt happy with it so he created the women!
See I told you guys that thread was gonna turn bad!:

yeah raz will close it
well, b4 he does...anyone got any hopeless man jokes?

No. Cant think of any right know!

Err... falling ill. That pretty much ruined my life, so not much competition, really. Losing Edna was pretty harsh though.

Edna, who is she?

Used to be a mod here. We met here and then met in real life and were an item for a while.

Haven't seen you around for a while, Dano!

Yeah, that would just about cover my one.

I've had quite a few near death experiences...*knocks on wood* But it wouldn't be safe to talk about them.

Can't think of anything right now. Almost fell off a cliff in the mountains, I've broken both of my arms (separate times), I almost failed school this year, and I have no grandfathers.

I glued my head to my shoulders.

NIce Corran!

i had surgery on my ass... when i took my first dump, i ran around the bathroom screeming. i never realized that every muscle you move is in some way connected to your bum. for 2 weeks i couldn't sit walk or crap... peeing was ever so difficult. i have scars if any wants to see.

No thats okay, we believe you.

I got a concussion several years ago. It was during the Ice Storm in Montreal. I was walking outside and ten i slipped on the ice and i banged my head on the ice. There was big bump on my head and i could barely talk.

maybe you hav drain bamage?

That's gotta suck, Kine. That too Metroplex.

Corran, how the hell and why in hell did you do that?

at my old job, i got stabbed in my leg while chasing down some guy who had just stolen money from the alcohol department's cash register....it wasnt cool..and it hurt....all that just for some stupid grocery store

when my gf broke up with me to go be with the guy she was cheating on me with. other then that nothing else bad has really happened to me. so ive been pretty lucky so far.

how *did* you do that, corran?

corran how intelligent.........but then again you are a brit

I went crazy once and tried to kill myself, but then again, that didn't happen to me, I brought it upon myself........

J/K

I'm pretty lucky, not too many things incredibly horrible have happened to me.

I didn't really do it, it's a Wiggumism.

hmmmm

A Wiggumism indeed....