KMC Forums - Disorders in Court

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things
People actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were taking place. Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last one.

Q : What is your date of birth?
A : July fifteenth.
Q : What year?
A : Every year.

Q : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A : Gucci sweats and Reeboks

Q : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A : Yes
Q : And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A : I forget.
Q : You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q : How old is your son, the one living with you?
A : Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q : How long has he lived with you?
A : Forty-five years.

Q : What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A : He said, "Cathy, Where am I?"
Q : And why did it upset you?
A : My name is Susan.

Q : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q : The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q : Were you present at the time your picture was taken?

Q : So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A : Yes
Q : And what were you doing at that time?

Q : She had three children, right?
A : Yes.
Q : How many were boys?
A : None.
Q : Were there any girls?

Q : How was your first marriage terminated?
A : By death.
Q : And by whose death was it terminated?

Q : Can you describe the individual?
A : He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q : Was this a male, or a female?

Q : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A : No, this is how I always dress when I go to work.

Q : Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A : All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q : All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A : Oral.

Q : Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A : The autopsy started around 8.30 p.m.
Q : And Mr Dennington was dead at the time?
A : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.

Q : Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q : Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A : No
Q : Did your check for blood pressure?
A : No
Q : Did your check for breathing?
A : No
Q : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A : No
Q : How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q : But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A : Not unless he was out practicing law somewhere.