What other animals have you read about is humanity ****ing over?
__________________ "Happiness is a lie. Life is horror. The light is always dying all across the universe. The last star will flicker out someday, when it does, all that remains is shadow. And I will be its king!"'-Amahl Farouk
So in other words, supply is low, which means demand...
I smell a get rich quick scheme! Endangered species designer pants, leather jackets, authentic bong made from real stomachs..
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As long as they continue to make those little koala bear cookies filled with chocolate I don't really care what happens.
__________________ Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man you're a Chicken Boo.
Hopefully enough survive in zoos and can breed to keep the species going. Maybe one day when humanity stops sitting on the environment, they can be reintroduced to their native habitat.
We have a shit-ton of blue gum eucalyptus trees here in the SF/Bay Area, it was introduced sometime in the mid 1800s as a cheap and fast growing source of ship and railroad timber, but those White bastards miscalculated, eucalyptus can be used to build ships, but it has to be from older trees to be of proper density and hardness, so those unharvested abandoned groves spread in an invasive fashion, overtaking the native flora, growing faster and taller here than they do in Australia.
Where I'm getting at, people have thought about introducing koalas here over the decades, but they'd likely not survive as they're extremely picky eaters, soem only eat from certain specific trees of the same species, and now we have so many hipsters who would probably try and keep them as pets, if they did manage to adapt.
Koalas are ****ing horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too ****ing stupid to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their ****ing lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like ****ing satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're ****ing terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating- male Koalas will even rape females that are already pregnant. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... as one of the leading causes of death in Koalas stems from male koalas attempting to rape female koalas and dragging them both off a tree to their deaths. An animal so ****ing dumb it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I ****ing hate them.
Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.
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"The Daemon lied with every breath. It could not help itself but to deceive and dismay, to riddle and ruin. The more we conversed, the closer I drew to one singularly ineluctable fact: I would gain no wisdom here."
Last edited by Tzeentch on Nov 25th, 2019 at 07:49 PM
That angry Aussie is wrong, Koalas have been around for 25+ million years and our current species have been around for 2-5million. They're one of the surviviest mammals today. In fact, if it weren't for humans, they'd probably be around until the next mega-asteroid hits the Earth and does a full recheck and restart of the biomass.
__________________ Chicken Boo, what's the matter with you? You don't act like the other chickens do. You wear a disguise to look like human guys, but you're not a man you're a Chicken Boo.
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Nov 24th, 2019 07:46 PM
