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Serif
Senior Member
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
Full-extra-special boxed set of 241 DVD
A RIVER, CENTURIES AGO
SMEAGOL and DEAGOL find the Ring and start fighting over it.
DEAGOL: Mine!
SMEAGOL: Mine!
DEAGOL: Mine!
SMEAGOL: Mine!
DEAGOL: Yours. (dies)
UNOFFICIAL ENTRANCE TO MORDOR
SAM: We can't trust Gollum! He's out to kill us!
FRODO: Really, Sam, you and your imagination. I suppose YOU have a better plan for getting into Mordor?
SAM: As a matter of fact I do. Hanggliding.
FRODO: Excuse me?
SAM: Hanggliding. It's all the rage in the Southfarthing. We make a big kite-like frame out of a lightweight wood, like balsa, if you follow me, and stretch some muslin across it; then we climb to the top of one of these mountains, wait for a warm updraft -
FRODO: I am NOT listening to this.
FRODO grabs GOLLUM's hand and walks away.
EDORAS
LEGOLAS: The sky wears a film of gauze. The night air breathes infamy. Deceit weaves itself around my fingernails.
ARAGORN: What the hell is that? Poetry? I pay you to do two things: shoot stuff, and look pretty. If you have something to tell me, tell me in normal words.
LEGOLAS: Fine. S-A-U-R-O-N is H-E-R-E. Simple enough for you, numbskull?
(MEANWHILE, INSIDE IN EDORAS)
PIPPIN: I'm going to go look at that crystal bowling-ball thingy.
MERRY: Bad idea, Pip.
PIPPIN: No, I think it's a good idea.
MERRY: Really seriously bad idea.
PIPPIN: No, it'll be fine. See? I just pick it up and AAAAHHHHH!!
ENTIRE CITY wakes up.
GANDALF: Fool of a Took! Now I must take you on a horseback ride.
PIPPIN: Okay! Can Merry come?
GANDALF: No.
MERRY: See what you did? Ugh. Why do I always hang out with the stupid ones?
[Click on the link below to see what happens]
GREY HAVENS
GANDALF: I will not say, 'Do not weep,' for not all tears are an evil.
AUDIENCE: Good, because that's all we've been doing for the last three hours.
FRODO: Goodbye, Pippin. I'm glad you found your courage. Goodbye, Merry. I'm glad you got to wear horse-themed armor. Sam...
FRODO hugs SAM.
FRODO: I think I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow.
FRODO kisses SAM on the forehead. FANATICAL FRODO/SAM SHIPPERS stop sobbing for a moment and perk up.
FRODO/SAM SHIPPERS: Oh, hey! I totally need to screencap that and turn it into an LJ icon.
SAM, however, is still weeping.
SAM: Can't I come join you, someday?
FRODO: Let's not talk about that. The audience doesn't need comforting with such pitiful little shreds of hope. Goodbye, my friends.
FRODO smiles as he sails away, at peace in the knowledge that he never again has to get up at five a.m. to have the makeup people put hobbit feet on him.
AUDIENCE: (sobbing) I can't believe it's over. What do I have left to live for now?
PETER JACKSON: Well, there's the extended version, due out in November. Complete with silly outtakes - I promise! And then someday there's the full-extra-special boxed set of 241 DVD's. And eventually there's that musical they're making...
AUDIENCE: November?? (crumples to the ground, weeping) You rip out my heart and tear it to shreds and mash it into the sticky popcorn on the theater floor, and then try to console me with freaking outtakes in freaking November?? I hate you, I hate you...I hate you...(*sniffle*)...Can we come back and see it again tomorrow?
PETER JACKSON: Of course you can, precious.
Return of the King Parody
 Attachment: ng_legolasgimli.gif
This has been downloaded 66 time(s).
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May 5th, 2004 08:49 AM |
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Róisín
Aer tino agus uisce
 Gender: Female
Location: OFF THE MAP!!! |
 LMAO.. i read that one before...
there was actually tears tripping my face!!lol
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May 5th, 2004 09:44 AM |
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Camellia
Complete Tolkien geek
 Gender: Female
Location: Left at the Water |
Um...ok?
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‘Do you know what?’ Pippin begins loudly as we slowly walk in the direction of his room. ‘I think....I may have had a pint or two more than was sensible!’
- Pippin,Bits of the Forest
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May 5th, 2004 07:01 PM |
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The Inkeeper
Senior Member
 Gender: Male
Location: With You |
lol, i should put some of mine on the internet 
smodden, feanor everybody who saved them ...post them here please
they can be 'deleted scenes'
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May 5th, 2004 07:05 PM |
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Camellia
Complete Tolkien geek
Gender: Female
Location: Left at the Water |
No comment!
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‘Do you know what?’ Pippin begins loudly as we slowly walk in the direction of his room. ‘I think....I may have had a pint or two more than was sensible!’
- Pippin,Bits of the Forest
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May 5th, 2004 07:45 PM |
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Thorondor
Love?
 Gender: Male
Location: Scotland |
is it just me or do her posts have no purpose...anway sauron i have a couple of them
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A God Among Geeks
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May 5th, 2004 07:53 PM |
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The Inkeeper
Senior Member
Gender: Male
Location: With You |
could you post them please 
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May 5th, 2004 08:10 PM |
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Thorondor
Love?
Gender: Male
Location: Scotland |
Osgilliath
denethor: not if i can help it....look son go and die at osgiliath
faramir: ok *goes and fights* charge!!!
gondor soldiers: oh when the orcs (pippin voice over: ooohh hwhhen the orrrcs bayby) get killed alot (gggetttt KILLED ALOOT OH YEAH)
*swoooosh*
*thwack*
faramir: shit *falls*
denthor: all those years of neglect and now he is dead i love him......i know we must have a BBQ!
gandalf: *thwack bang whollop kill him with my staff*
pippin: i smell burning....*sees* NOOOOOOOOO!
gandalf: heeeree i come to save the daaaayyyyyyy!
denethor: i would have gotten away with it too...if it wasnt for that meddling maia! *jumps* *falls*
orc number 247074036 group YDG : *looks up* whats that it *gets crushed by falling fireman*
Pellanor
witchy: hehehe EVIL!!!!!!
Rohirrim: HHHEEEERRRREEEE WWWEEEE ARRRREEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
gadalf: could you BE any later!
rohirrim: *charges*
orcs: ooooohhhhh **** oh **** oh **** oh **** oh ****!!!!!!
gothmog: oh big daddy coloosal ****!
rohirrim: *dun dun duuuunn dun dun dunnnnnnn dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun duuuunnn duuunn duuuuunnnnn duuunnnnnnn duuun duun dun*
orcs: hey how do you know the lotr tune....isnt it just a soundover *all get killed*
Gondor: hip hip HORAY
theoden: hip hip hip!
emoer: dont you mean hip hip horray
theoden: NO! my horse just fell on me....i think i broke my hip!
*witchy* hmmmm eat him big flyy thing!
big flyy thing: hmmmm theoden
eowyn who is a guy: kill him and i will kill you!
witchy: STUPID CROSSDRESSING HUMAN!!!!!! DIE NOW!!!
*fight*
witchy: no man can kill me!
eowyn: I AM NO MAN!!
wtchy: your a woman..you cant kill me...you wouldnt dare, you dont have the balls......hehehehe pun intended
orcs: hahahahahaha
everyone: ahhahahahahahaha
eowyn: *stab*
witchy: folds up like a cheap deck chair
orcs: oh shit!
everyone good: YEY....
*from the distance* LAND AHOY!!!!!
*a ship lands* *orlando bloom gets off...then johnny depp*
depp: BAD EGGS! SAVVY!!! THE PEARL!!!!
everyone: wrong film
*another shop comes aragorn gimli and legolas jump off*
orcs: AHHH!!! THREE PEOPLE!!!!
dead army: *kill kill climb pn things win yey whooooop*
aragorn: WE HAVE WON!!!!
gandalf: erm...saurons not dead frodo isnt in orodruin yet....
aragorn: well lets put a bet on......i bet i can get another 5000 men killed before the end of this!
gandalf: your on!
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A God Among Geeks
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May 5th, 2004 08:13 PM |
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The Inkeeper
Senior Member
Gender: Male
Location: With You |
wow i really an a [SPOILER - highlight to read]: very un-funnny guy
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May 5th, 2004 08:18 PM |
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Thorondor
Love?
Gender: Male
Location: Scotland |
long one
 Attachment: script - rotk.txt
This has been downloaded 6 time(s).
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A God Among Geeks
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May 5th, 2004 08:18 PM |
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OrliNElijahsGrl
A Proud Ringer
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: United States |
Awww that was good, i actually did have some tears reading that, that was so good serif! awww i wanna do something like that!!! LOL it would be funny...except there would be some sad parts..but im gonna do fellowship! hahaha
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"There are some things time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold"-Frodo
Watch Lost every Wednesday at 8pm on ABC!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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May 6th, 2004 12:30 AM |
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OrliNElijahsGrl
A Proud Ringer
Gender: Unspecified
Location: United States |
thorondor...THAT WAS GOOD!! *applaudes*
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"There are some things time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold"-Frodo
Watch Lost every Wednesday at 8pm on ABC!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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May 6th, 2004 12:31 AM |
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ilvorlandobloom
Senior Member
 Gender: Female
Location: USA |
haha, that was so funny!
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May 6th, 2004 01:38 AM |
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Smodden
Keyblade Chosen
 Gender: Male
Location: The Darkness |
i lost mine...will write more....as soon as the deep black blanket of night lifts itself from my home....and i awaken to rosy fingered morn...
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Thanks to Deep @ finalfantasyworld for the sig!
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May 6th, 2004 02:19 AM |
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Solo
just a modern guy
 Gender: Male
Location: california |
That was hella funny. :LOL:
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May 6th, 2004 03:07 AM |
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The Inkeeper
Senior Member
Gender: Male
Location: With You |
liars
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May 6th, 2004 05:31 PM |
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