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What WOULD Have Happened...
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REXXXX
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What WOULD Have Happened...

What would the movie be like if the Wachowski's had gone with our nutty ideas, such as the Matrix-in-the-Matrix-in-the-Matrix theory that I am very thankful never worked?

Here's an article that I thought was funny about that...

What Might Have Been...


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Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 05:55 AM
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MC Mike
Voice of the Voiceless

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Heheh:

Neo MOCK-DUSTS his hands, standing over the body of a PUMMELED AGENT SMITH.


NEO
Looks like you got downloaded.


Suddenly, Neo hears FOOTSTEPS.


TWIN #1
Don't forget us, Neo.

TWIN #2
No you shouldn't.

NEO
Hiya, fellahs!


Neo BEATS THE SHIT out of the Twins until they DIE.


TWIN #1
We are getting thrashed like children. [dies]

TWIN #2
Yes we are. [dies]


Neo MOCK-DUSTS his hands again.


NEO
Well, that's that. Time to continue
My adventures... in The Matrix Online!


The Matrix Online box FLIES IN from off-screen and Neo CATCHES it. The words "Only $49.95!" FLASH as a Rage against the Machine song cues up.


NEO
This game is off the hook!


THE END

hahaha...


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A posse ad esse.

Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 06:09 AM
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((The_Anomaly))
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lol........... u people are on crack Happy Dance


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Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 05:23 PM
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Ushgarak
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Fantastic! Almost as good as the EU mocking SW cript...


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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"

"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"

BtVS

Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 10:22 PM
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Ushgarak
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OMG!!!

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/matrix50.html

I don't believe it took me two minutes to get this...


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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"

"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"

BtVS

Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 10:27 PM
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JKozzy
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The first film killed 13 students at Columbine High School, the disturbed trench-coated teens imitating the pipe-bombing, shotgunning film's finale. How many troubled teens are out there Reloading with the release of the sequels?

In fact, the only reason the U.S. Attorney General did not press murder charges against the filmmakers is because the movie was shot in Australia, giving it diplomatic immunity.

What the f**k?What the f**k?


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Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 10:31 PM
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Ushgarak
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Obviously its taking some others rather longer to get it...


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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"

"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"

BtVS

Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 10:34 PM
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JKozzy
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Is there something more than the Matrix bashing here..?


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Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 10:35 PM
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JKozzy
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"Can we please have just one major studio movie without a trick ending? I won't reveal it because some of you have requested that I not, but Revolutions has a shocking surprise near the end that the studio has bent over backwards (probably in slow-motion, while dodging bullets) to conceal. All I'll say is that it has to do with the surprise return of a certain treacherous character who we all thought was dead in the first film. Can any of you decipher what I'm saying here? "

Uh.... where was Cypher in Revolutions..???


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Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 10:36 PM
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Ushgarak
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Oh Kozzy, if you haven't worked it out by NOW...


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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"

"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"

BtVS

Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 10:38 PM
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JKozzy
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no....


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Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 10:39 PM
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mailedbypostman
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No i haven't either.


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Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 10:42 PM
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Ushgarak
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Didn't you find the comment about Seraph being revealed as a former one objectionable? And the writer makes it incrreasingly, but carefully, more ridiculous from there.

It's a satire on lazy Matrix critique. The final comment in point 25 had me laughing pretty damn hard...


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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"

"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"

BtVS

Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 10:44 PM
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JKozzy
Agent Kozzy

Gender: Male
Location: Chaos. There can only be CHAOS!

What... that it's all complete BS?


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Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 10:50 PM
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Ushgarak
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"It's the film's climactic battle between Agent Smith and Neo. It begins with Agent Smith walking down the subway platform toward Neo. Neo's friends tell him to run. But no; he stands and fights.

They fight for what seems like an hour, back and forth, an epic battle of good and evil. Neo takes a beating, comes back, finds his courage, becomes The One. He goes toe-to-toe with the baddest of the bad. After this long, choreographed, pivotal moment of the film, Agent Smith is left...

...walking down the subway platform toward Neo. Neo's friends tell him to run.

He runs.

Excuse me, ticket lady? I'd like a refund of the last fifteen minutes of my life. It would be like if at the end of Rocky, after sitting through the whole film, the main character just lost the fight anyway. "

The main character DID lose the fight at the end of Rocky! This person is taking the piss out of people who make criticisms of the film like these.


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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"

"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"

BtVS

Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 10:51 PM
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JKozzy
Agent Kozzy

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Location: Chaos. There can only be CHAOS!

Ooh! blink Sorry, I got a half hour of sleep last night... stick out tongue


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Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 11:13 PM
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Gus The PI
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I did find most of this guy's comments to be v. funny; however, his joke about Gloria Foster and Aaliya being "unavailable for comment" regarding their absence from M3 made me mad


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I bid a fond farewell to you all; for despite my sincerest efforts, I have ultimately been consigned to that infinite and permanent void known only as OBLIVION

Fear not, however! For although I may be gone, my memory lives on through my second profile, "Ahnold", the great governor of califohrnia!

Though I was only around for a month, I can at least be certain that I made an impression here; cos no one, and I mean no one, would nail yo' ass the way I could! And I guess you can still see me in "Intolerable Cruelty"...

Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 11:18 PM
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JKozzy
Agent Kozzy

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Location: Chaos. There can only be CHAOS!

dittomad


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Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 11:19 PM
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Ushgarak
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That site has no regard to taste but that's all a matter of opinion... that comment was a lot funnier if you followed the on-line campaign to put Marcus Chong (Tank) back in the film.


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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"

"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"

BtVS

Last edited by Ushgarak on Dec 10th, 2003 at 11:32 PM

Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 11:24 PM
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Gus The PI
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Jeez, talk about having no respect for the dead mad

And besides, having his summary be half piss-take, and half acute observations is a bit of a strange thing to do...


__________________
I bid a fond farewell to you all; for despite my sincerest efforts, I have ultimately been consigned to that infinite and permanent void known only as OBLIVION

Fear not, however! For although I may be gone, my memory lives on through my second profile, "Ahnold", the great governor of califohrnia!

Though I was only around for a month, I can at least be certain that I made an impression here; cos no one, and I mean no one, would nail yo' ass the way I could! And I guess you can still see me in "Intolerable Cruelty"...

Old Post Dec 10th, 2003 11:24 PM
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