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LanceWindu
Senior Member
Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
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Star Wars Humor
10. Impress the chicks with the size of your lightsaber.
9. Fry your neighbor's cat with electricity blasts.
8. Get your own Super-Class Star Destroyer on your Silver anniversery.
7. Get to say cool lines like "You feel LUCKY punk?" and mean it.
6. Blow up planets like Alderaan.
5. Always get to make an impressive entrance.
4. Be one of the few who can out quick-draw Han Solo.
3. If your son gets testy, you can just cut off his hand.
2. Don't need to take crap from little three feet tall green midgets who sound like Grover from Sesame Street.
And the # 1 reason to be a Dark Jedi is...
1. You get to have a cool voice like James Earl Jones.
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Aug 20th, 2001 10:39 PM |
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Tex
Yumsz
Registered: Jun 2001
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
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Aug 20th, 2001 10:45 PM |
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LanceWindu
Senior Member
Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
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10. Yoda. . . Ross Perot
9. Han Solo. . . Indiana Jones
8. C3PO. . . Jean Luc Picard
7. Grand Moff Tarkin . . . Bill Clinton
6. Blasters. . . .44 Magnums
5. Death Star. . . The MOON
4. X-Wing Star Fighter's . . . F15s (Jets)
3. Lightsaber. . . Flashlights
2. R2D2. . . Any All-Purpose machine
1. Jabba The Hut. . . Slugs
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Aug 20th, 2001 10:47 PM |
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LanceWindu
Senior Member
Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
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10. Bounty Hunter "Zuckess"....the BORG (*from "Star Trek: TNG")
9. C3PO.......................Richard Simmons
8. R2D2.......................7-Zark-7 (*from "Battle of the Planets" cartoon)
7. Chewbacca..................Alf or Harry of "Harry and the Hendersons", take your pick.
6. Imperial Stormtroopers.....Guards in "Judge Dredd"
5. Yoda.......................Sex Therapist, DR.Ruth Westheimer
4. Darth Vader................Shredder (*from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
3. Any character in "Space Balls"
2. Obi Wan Kenobi.............The Wizard of Words (* "Alpha-bits Cereal")
And the # 1 Blatant Rip-Off.............
1. Jabba the Hutt............."Roseanne"
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Aug 20th, 2001 10:52 PM |
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LanceWindu
Senior Member
Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
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1. What is with synthohal? In Star Wars we have hard-core booze!
2. The difference between an alien in Star Trek from any other human is a small bump, slit, or any other make-up deformity. Sometimes the only difference is hair style. Vulcans are humans (except with a little extension of the ears and a strange hairdo (remind you of Moe from the 3 stooges?)).
3. What in the world were the producers and writers thinking when they made those movies with Spock dying and then coming back to life?
4. Does anybody know why Star Trek: Deep Space 9 is called Star Trek??? The word 'trek' means a journey. And does the space station in Deep Space 9 trek? NO!!!!!
5. Why are there transporter rooms? Some of the episodes have Kirk beam from the bridge to someplace else. Also, every episode that has any transporting has the people beam back to the ship from any random place.
6. Why is there a Prime Directive? My guess is that it makes it easier for the writers to justify the wussy actions of Trekkers.
7. If you can replicate food, toys, whatever... why not replicate a huge fleet of war ships?
8. What's with those stupid episodes where a Star Trek ship blows up only to come back again because of a time warp?? How stupid can you get? OR ANTI-TIME??!! WHAT!!!! EXPLODES WHEN IN CONTACT WITH TIME???????
9. While we're on the subject of stupidity, Wesley Crusher. First, we can start off with that outfit, the one with the colors going across the chest. Then, how can a kid figure out something that an entire engineering team could not, including Data (an android with a mind supposedly faster than any super-computer we have now) and a huge group of scientists on star fleets flagship!? Finally, before even finishing star fleet academy, how could he even get close to being one of the bridge operators (ensign, to be exact) on the starfleet's flagship?
10. One, final thing, directed specifically at Timothy Zahn. Mr. Zahn claimed that the Enterprise could destroy a Star Destroyer simply by beaming bombs aboard it. However, hypocritical to Star Trek lore, beaming cannot be done through shields (otherwise the Enterprise could beam bombs aboard a Warbird, for example).
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Aug 20th, 2001 10:57 PM |
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jedi212guy
Sith Warrior
Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Danville, Kentucky
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 Where do you get this stuff?! 
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Aug 21st, 2001 04:52 PM |
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Ushgarak
Paladin
Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UKCo-Admin
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That as maybe (I find such petty complaint more irritating than amusing, most can be answered and an equivalent list could be made for SW), but if this thread is not made more relevant to this area I will move it to the GDF.
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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"
"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"
BtVS
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Aug 21st, 2001 05:58 PM |
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Tex
Yumsz
Registered: Jun 2001
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
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Ush, stern, but fair
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Aug 21st, 2001 06:04 PM |
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Ratcat
Senior Member
Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
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OK Ush, who's bed did you get out of on the wrong side this morning.....
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Aug 21st, 2001 08:48 PM |
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Ushgarak
Paladin
Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UKCo-Admin
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THAT'S a loaded question... but it was mine, and I hit my head on the wall if I get out the wrong side. Now I think about it, I DO have a headache.
It's just I see Trek fans making lists of what is crud with Star Wars and vice versa, and often they think these are triumphantly hilarious and irrefutable examples of why their chosen programme is better.
Anyhow, I'm watching this one...
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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"
"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"
BtVS
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Aug 21st, 2001 08:52 PM |
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Ratcat
Senior Member
Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
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Well, have to disagree on this one, I think it's funny...
Let's let it be for now and see how it goes.
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Aug 21st, 2001 09:00 PM |
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Ushgarak
Paladin
Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UKCo-Admin
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Ok... but it IS a bit rich to knock Wesley Crusher when SW has an eight-year old destroying the Trade Fedeartion ship when all thiose pro pilots couldn't do it. Both franchises have their justification for it; why lay into ST? And the same goes for nearly every anti-ST point made there.
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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"
"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"
BtVS
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Aug 21st, 2001 09:09 PM |
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LanceWindu
Senior Member
Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
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I got all of these jokes on another site. These are not any of my own complaints. I like to watch ST also I just thought those jokes where funny.
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Aug 21st, 2001 10:03 PM |
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LanceWindu
Senior Member
Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
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Also if you want to tkae this thread to GDF go right ahead it's al right with me.
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Aug 21st, 2001 10:05 PM |
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Ratcat
Senior Member
Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
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Your call Ush.
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Aug 21st, 2001 10:09 PM |
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Ushgarak
Paladin
Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Chelmsford, Essex, UKCo-Admin
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I'm tempted to find one of the Star Trek lists about Star Wars... never mind. I suppose it is good here.
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"We've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers and not one of you buds has the midi-chlorians to stop her!"
"You've never had any TINY bit of sex, have you?"
BtVS
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Aug 21st, 2001 10:12 PM |
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LanceWindu
Senior Member
Registered: Jun 2001
Location:
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I'm pretty sure I can find one of those ST better than SW but if I post it here I wil probably get hate mail.
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Aug 22nd, 2001 12:56 AM |
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yerssot
Senior Member
Registered: Jul 2001
Location:
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I think you went to a universety to figure that out 
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Aug 22nd, 2001 09:05 PM |
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Jameous Woodshire
Senior Member
Registered: Apr 2001
Location: USA
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(please log in to view the image)
(please log in to view the image)
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Aug 23rd, 2001 07:14 AM |
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Poor GL. 
