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FallingBlue
Twilight of Shadow
 Gender: Male
Location: California |
Red War
Red War
pg. 001
The sky roared an ugly storm, belching rain upon the township of Sullan. As the water crept along the now mud stained earth the ground seemed to open up, moaning in a parched voice. Breathing the life that is water, the crops gasped.
Citizens rejoiced, standing on top the sighing earth. This day was like ecstasy in their hollowed minds.As they danced the ceremony of the rain god their peers plotted against them. In their ignorance the people of Sullan had forgotten of those who conspired against the rain. Like a wave of sorrow the arrows crashed down upon them. Screams of joy muffled by cries of pain. Those not struck down fled with their young. Parent and offspring were brought down by the guillotine of ambush. The ground opened up to taste the water of life, but instead consumed the vile carrion of death. It's joyous worshippers now buried beneath corpses and earth, the rain stopped and the cackling moon looked down upon them.
His leather boot crunched down upon the cold, stale, ground. He could feel the souls of the dead buried beneath him. Their ghastly presence wrapped around his feet and strived to pull him into their world. He could hear their blood soaked tongues gurgle, struggling to form speech. Commanding the living essence within himself he demanded it outward, expelling the souls from his presence. With clarity of mind he made his way further towards Sullan. The festering crops never seemed to sway, no matter how hard the wind blew. This place, this strange portal between Life and Death, was neither living, nor dead.
To be continued...
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God is only a false hope
Last edited by FallingBlue on Sep 20th, 2003 at 03:25 AM
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Sep 20th, 2003 03:21 AM |
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BOPRecruit 16
Hunter By Nature
 Gender: Female
Location: City of Angels |
review: pretty good endepth descriptions. could've used a few metaphors and softer ways of putting it. i'm not sure what you got in store for this story/where's it going and who this man is, but keep up the good work of what there is. so dark, kind of depressing. not as depressing as the ttt song "gollum's song". ja ne ~Sodapop~
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Sep 20th, 2003 03:36 AM |
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FallingBlue
Twilight of Shadow
Gender: Male
Location: California |
pg. 001
...
The presence within himself curled up in fear, but the man walking towards Sullan showed no sign of turning back. A decayed hand lay at his feet, nothing but bone and carrion. He knelt down to examine it and realized it was still connected to it's body somewhere underground. Standing to prepare himself he brought his foot down upon the opened palm of the villager's long dead hand. Hearing it crunch he relaxed slightly, letting the presence within stand in courage. This place was not as horrific as he had assumed. Stepping from the hand he could hear it snap back. Turning, he saw it again had opened it's fingers, palm stretched upward, as if trying to grab the sky. With a look of disgust he continued towards the lifeless, but living town of Sullan.
A frail chill crawled up his spine, causing him to shutter. He had experienced the exorcism of a god, and the battle of the ages, but somehow he felt as if a child in this place. Coming to a stop he pushed his presence outward to expel the approaching souls. They lingered at the boundaries of his defense, clawing at it. He fell to his knees in a position of meditation. The defenses expanded, ripping through the ghastly forms that pounded on their walls. He grasped in his hand the small pendant of the Dark God, it gave him strength, yet took it away. Standing he let go of the pendant, causing it to swing against his chest, tapping lightly as it bounced from the momentum. Stepping forward he listened to the vile sound of bones snapping. It made his stomach churn slightly. Spinning around he saw the dead citizens of Sullan rise from their unmarked graves. His lip curled upward as he sprung towards the town hall.
Throwing open the doors they fell to ash. He cursed his damned luck and this hellhole town. Hoping that they were still far enough behind he crouched beside the door, concentrating on his living presence. As he fought the barriers of his mind he was grabbed by a hand, dribbling it's flesh from the bone. Without a word he opened his mouth, a faint gas crawled off his tongue and seared away the fleshy hand. Back on his feet he made for another set of wooden doors behind him. Arms outstretched he dove through the rotten oak. Crouching he again tried to concentrate on his inner presence. Again he was interrupted, this time by an unearthly cackle. Peering outward he saw a horde of those once dead walking, running, and crawling towards him. He demanded the presence out of him, sending those closest backwards into their allies. Bone and flesh shot outward, lying on the floor in piles. His eyes turned upward to reveal that these minions of another world sought it fit to crawl on the walls. With a hiss he sprung upward into the room, the presence lifting him on ghastly silver wings. Pausing in mid air as if gravity denied him he again demanded that the presence leave him. It rolled over the once dead like a plague, sizzling their fleshy bones to ash. Dropping down to the rotten floor he was embraced by a cold fate. The once dead, now living, crawled over him as if he was the key to their release. Now draped in a curtain of his own poisoned blood he was left on the floor as their feast.
...
__________________
God is only a false hope
Last edited by FallingBlue on Sep 20th, 2003 at 06:53 PM
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Sep 20th, 2003 06:19 PM |
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REXXXX
Networking
 Gender: Male
Location: San Diego Moderator |
Good god, an actual paragraph filled story! Quite bizarre I'm come to find when you hang out in here. 
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Sep 22nd, 2003 12:29 AM |
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FallingBlue
Twilight of Shadow
Gender: Male
Location: California |
heh, thnx
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God is only a false hope
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Sep 22nd, 2003 02:43 AM |
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FallingBlue
Twilight of Shadow
Gender: Male
Location: California |
Red War
Part 01: Death Rides a Pale Horse
pg. 002
The child's voice rasped out across the room as he tried to answer his master's question. A scornful look returned to him, again ordering an answer. Unable to claim a solid voice he was left staring dumbfounded across the room. Soon his master approached, the students in the dojo turning to watch in wonder. The boy winced as his master's hand came hard across his face, sending him sprawling to the floor. Standing on wobbly legs he looked into the disgusted eyes of his master. Those eyes, never forgiving, never pleased, but always loving seemed to soften lightly. Helping the boy stand straight the master demanded for him to answer his question. Pointing to his throat with a concerned look the boy tried to signal that he had lost his voice. Considering the boy's motions and expressions the master waved him out of the room, "Return home, come back when you have recovered.." he claimed, his voice displeased.
His mind giggling at his ignorant fool of a superior, the boy walked along to the creek, singing in a healthy voice. The gurgling water made him pause, looking into it's reflective surface. He dashed his hand through the water, sending it splashing outward in large droplets. His scarred face still shone through, he cursed his bad luck and moved on. Coming to the entrance to the woods he looked around. No adults, no rules, right? he asked himself as he stepped into the cool comfort of the trees. This place wasn't so bad, he glared as he thought of his elders and their stupid rules. As his feet tread lightly on the forest floor he listened to the creaking branches of the oak trees. They were so peaceful, so calm, as if in their own little worlds. A branched snapped nearby, cracking as it crashed to the floor. Not startled, the boy shrugged it off, assuming some dumb animal was just too glutinous for the trees to hold it. The crash was followed by footsteps, fast, growing louder. This made the boy pause, straining his eyes to see what it was. As his eyes finally cleared the fog of distance his head was filled with nausea. Shortly after he was engulfed in his own blood, his organs visible on the forest floor as he slowly faded away from Life.
...
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God is only a false hope
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Sep 22nd, 2003 11:37 PM |
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FallingBlue
Twilight of Shadow
Gender: Male
Location: California |
...
His eyes opened with the weight of sleep. He glanced around this darkened hollow and saw only the shadow of lifelessness. He lacked his sight in this place, with it's eerie absence of light. As he stood on wobbling legs the boy noticed a faint glow in the distance. Forcing his weak body to move forward the boy blinked lazily. It seemed as if the energy of his body was found lacking. The glow grew larger as he approached, it's faint light slowly turning into a glaring sun. He was forced to hold up his arms to shield the blinding light from his bloodshot eyes. A gargling voice spat out speech towards him, a strange language he couldn't understand. As the boy pushed through the light he found a limp body draped in a black robe. It again tried to speak to him, this time in a different language, still he could not understand. The grotesque voice seemed slightly angered by the boy's empty mind. After what had felt like an eternity of blood curdling speech the entity came upon the boy's speech, "This is Death..what is it you seek here..?" the voice was again disturbing.
"I..I dont know...all I remember is the woods, and a black figure.."
There was a pause and the entity seemed to glare at him with it's hollow eye sockets. The boy struggled to turn his sight from it's grotesque body, but found his neck locked in it's direction.
The pause dragged on longer, the boy held in a bind, forced to look upon the entity as it stared back. His heart pumped faster in his chest, anxiety building in his stomach. This all began to hit him, very hard. Whatever this was in front of him it was the messenger of the Dark God, his master had called the thing Misery once before when lecturing them on the myths of Death. Straining his eyes to glance at Misery's face he noticed that it looked almost human. It's skin was pale, sagging off it's face. The cheeks pushed forward from below the empty eye sockets. Wings, painted by blood, spread outward down the cheekbones of Misery's face. As his eyes moved down to it's neck he noticed that nothing was there, it's head simply floated above the torso, a dense fog crawling outward where the neck should have been. He would have shook his head in disgust, trying to expel the entity's gruesome face from his mind, had his body not been bound to this stance. A disturbing grin slid across Misery's lips, seeming to mix pain with joy. It let out a shriek, causing the boy to flinch, struggling to place his hands over his ears.
...
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God is only a false hope
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Sep 25th, 2003 01:26 AM |
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DBZFan
** Put title here**
 Gender: Female
Location: Anime land |
Good story. If I had 1,000,000,000 thumbs then I would've given you 1,000,000,000 thumbs up!
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Are you in the real world?
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Sep 27th, 2003 05:17 AM |
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FallingBlue
Twilight of Shadow
Gender: Male
Location: California |
if you had 1,000,000,000 thumbs i would have called you a freak  but thnx all the same
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God is only a false hope
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Sep 27th, 2003 05:18 AM |
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DBZFan
** Put title here**
Gender: Female
Location: Anime land |
HA. I wish there wasn't a smilie limit or I would have posted 1,000,000,000 thumb smilies.
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Are you in the real world?
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Sep 27th, 2003 05:29 AM |
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FallingBlue
Twilight of Shadow
Gender: Male
Location: California |
oh thank god for smiley limits...
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God is only a false hope
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Sep 27th, 2003 05:30 AM |
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DBZFan
** Put title here**
Gender: Female
Location: Anime land |
lol
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Are you in the real world?
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Sep 27th, 2003 05:44 AM |
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REXXXX
Networking
Gender: Male
Location: San Diego Moderator |
Looks superb, FallingBlue! I'm enjoying it quite thuroughly...
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Sep 28th, 2003 12:17 AM |
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BadKitty
cockeyed
 Gender: Female
Location: in cha cha heels |
omg blue this is fantastic you have such a descriptive way of telling a story,I am totally enthralled with your writing,please give me more!(please log in to view the image)
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Oct 7th, 2003 12:41 AM |
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REXXXX
Networking
Gender: Male
Location: San Diego Moderator |
What about me, BKK? 
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Oct 7th, 2003 03:33 AM |
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BadKitty
cockeyed
Gender: Female
Location: in cha cha heels |
which stories are yours rexy? I havent seen them 
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Oct 7th, 2003 04:21 AM |
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REXXXX
Networking
Gender: Male
Location: San Diego Moderator |
*points to sig*
Keep the chatter down, unless, of course, it is considering FallingBlue's story! 
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Oct 7th, 2003 04:28 AM |
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FallingBlue
Twilight of Shadow
Gender: Male
Location: California |
ill be updating some time soon bkk
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God is only a false hope
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Oct 7th, 2003 05:07 AM |
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BadKitty
cockeyed
Gender: Female
Location: in cha cha heels |
kool I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for you
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Oct 7th, 2003 05:59 AM |
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