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Saving Faces
Started by: Alpha Centauri

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Alpha Centauri

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Ground Zero.

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Saving Faces

You may recall back in the "Create A Superhero" thread, that I created a character with a back story.

What I decided to do was continue with that and begin to write a full length story about it. So basically I'll drop what I've got so far and you can tell me what you think. Where I can improve, where I'm doing good etc. All opinions are welcome, bear in mind it's my first MAJOR time in writing.

Plot, thus:

Department H have become increasingly popular among world arms dealers and big military corporations. They have readied a new batch of Weapon X-like soliders and are prepared to sell them off to the highest bidder. Currently heading up the bids is Justin Hammer (Of Iron-man fame). Deadpool, former Weapon X write-off, is at a cross roads in his life and had been battling Dept.H for a while. Finally he gets a break through with NY lawyer Matt Murdock who has found two past Weapon X projects willing to testify against Dept.H, Wolverine and Sabretooth. Who have uncharacteristically put aside their vast differences in an attempt to lay waste to the company that ruined them. However, the information that Deadpool has, he cannot share until the hearing and without it, all is lost. Dept.H as a result, need someone to eliminate him. Enter my character James Marcellus. A run down old soldier who has (without revealing to much) a history involving Deadpool/Wade Wilson. So begins many sinister twists, turns and exciting developments (I hope). Here's a little taster...

Name: Saving Face.

[Missisauga, Canada]

*A fairly well build, husky looking male in his apparant late 20's sits at a bar. Engrossed in thought*

J.M: Gimme a beer Vinnie.

*The request is somewhat distant yet assertive, almost desperate.*

Vin: Come on J, why don'tcha get on home? You've been here for damn near 5 hours straight doin' nuthin' but drinkin'.

*The bartenders husky accent had as much care running through it as intimidation.*

Vin: You're ol' lady would probably be worryin' enough for both of ya if she......if she were still around.

*Bartender Vin sighs sympathetically and lays a comforting hand on the shoulder of his customer*

Vin: Look, I enjoy your company son. Ya know I do. Hell I'd say you'd rank as my best customer if the chips were down. I just hate seeing ya like this. It's not you James, you know that.

*J.M reluctantly lays his bottle down on the dusty, stain-laden counter.*

J.M: What difference does it make huh? Ya...ya ever wonder how things could just go from bein' nuthin, in seconds? Stinkin' nuthin'? It feels like shit Vin. I always do things my way and right now I got no control over my GODDAMN LIFE!

*J.M's eyes widen, his teeth pressed together as if he is trying to keep all the rage behind but wanting to let it out.*

J.M: I can't ****in take livin like this.

Vin: Well if you hadn't...


*They are silenced*

J.M: I...I'm sorry Vin. I just everyday I think about Lucy, wondering if I could have done more. I try....I tried, it wasn't my fault. It was him....HE DID THIS!!!

*J.M's bottle bursts into a million pieces as if by magic, his eyes start a glowing red. Vin stumbles back in shock.*

Vin: N...n-no. No. You're one-a them aintcha? A mutey! You're a DIRTY STINKIN' MUTANT!

*Vin's voice is a loud mixture of shock, anger, fear and disappointment. J.M's eyes return to normal and he calms down with a certain threatening but calming tone*

J.M: Don't do this Vin.....

Vin: No **** you man! For years I've treated you like a son dammit. A damn son and all this time you were nuthin' but a stinkin' mutant!

J.M: Vin...I meant to....

Vin: Get out....get outta my bar freak. Don't come back.

*J.M's fire eyes are now replaces with glazed over eyes. Tears filling making them look like shiny marbles*

J.M: Vin...please....

*Vin turns around rapidly and reaches for gun then spins around and aims. Notices that J.M is gone, only the door flapping from his exit is left moving.*

*On his way to the one room apartment he's been living in, nothing is left to comfort J.M but the crunching of the snow beneath his feet.*

J.M: It ends. It must end. I must save my life, by taking his.

*J.M walks off with apparant purpose*

[Southern LA, California]

*We see a door, closed. With the slogan 'D.P INC' on it. A young lady turns to the door after she hears a loud cheer*

*We see Deadpool kick the door open and run in.*

D.P: Ahem, to quote the great Homer Simpson. WOOHOO! Sandi, I have great news.

*The young lady jumps to her feet and runs over*

Sandi: What?! WHAT IS IT?!

*Deadpool speaks in a teasing, intriguing tone*

D.P: You wanna know?

Sandi: Yes yes!

D.P: Is that your final answer or would you like to phone a friend, perhaps use a lifeline?

*Sandi shouts in an impatient yet excited tone*

Sandi: TELL ME!

*Deadpool flicks out a piece of paper*

D.P: Oh you know, to half-quote the great Huggy Bear, I know some people that know some people that erm....are lawyers. One such lawyer from NYC named Matt Murdock happened to volunteer his services to us in cracking those rotten bastards at Department H to stop them supplying weapons and people and weapons people to Justin Hammer. We don't have enough evidence yet BUT, he has rounded up a few people who's lives they've ruined, Wolverine and Sabretooth are two such people. They're gonna back us up with the info they have. The catch is that without my info, you know how they left me in a pool of my own...well, me?

Sandi: Yes of course.

D.P: Well without this, their statements mean nothing as they've already taken it national before. So I just gotta keep in one or two pieces until the hearing!

*Sandi jumps into his arms happily and they share a hug.*

Sandi: Heeeeeee. That's totally awesome!

D.P: Yep! Department H have been so up their own asses about this they should call themselves Preparation H. Mwahaha.

*Sandi raises an eyebrow*

D.P: Yeah I know, bad joke. But on the hole...ahem I mean whole as in complete. They're going down! Finally...

*She shoves him playfully.*

Sandi: Don't you go doing anything stupid then. No jobs until after the hearing ok?

*Deadpool makes a dog like whimper*

Sandi: Don't give me that. Promise me.

D.P: Gah! I promise.

*Sandi walks off*

Sandi: I'm going for some lunch? Anything?

D.P: No. I'm cool, yeahhhh.

*He rests his feet on desk triumphantly. She stops walking.*

Sandi: Wait.......Wolverine AND Sabretooth?

D.P: I know I know. They have that whole "We wanna kill each other......and Deadpool" thing about em but they hate Dept.H more than me. Lesser of three assholes pretty much. But I really think that for the first time in my life, I'm happy AND cracking jokes because life is good. Not because I might die tomorrow. I like that.

*He lifts his mask and smiles at her.*

D.P: Couldn't have done it without you...

Sandi: A pleasure.

*She smiles back*

Sandi: Don't think we're not getting you some new armour or costumes with that money! Hehe. Spider-Man's probably already on Murdock's ass about suing you.

*They both laugh*

D.P: Ahhh shaddap.

*She leaves happily as Deadpool rotates and stares out of his window.*


[Western Missisauga, Canada]

*We see James Marcellus (J.M) sit jolt upright in bed. Awakening from some kind of nightmare*

J.M: LUCY!!!

*He glances around his room and then rests his head in his hands with a sigh that seems to be a mixture of relief and disappointment.*

J.M:....I gotta quit drinkin'.

*He wanders off to the bathroom. Grimaces at his face in the mirror. Eyes glow bright and angry*


*He smashes the mirror*


[Alkali Lake, Canada]

*We see the outline of two men and a woman. Staring at screens.*

Woman: He is perfect.

Man 1: He is expendable.

Man 2: He is angry. We must detain him. He may prove useful to us.

Man 1: Negative. We must persuade him that we want to help. He will not take much convincing.

Woman: What makes you think he can silence past project #4007?

Man 1: Because he is filled with hate.

Man 2: Yes, he would give his own life to take his. We must use him.

Man 1: Is he aware that his wife is under cryo-suspension?

Man 2: Negative. He believes she is dead, we successfully implicated project #4007 in the process. This will further aid us.

Woman: Dispatch some agents.




Signature by Starlock.

I review comics and such here:

Old Post Aug 6th, 2004 08:04 PM
Alpha Centauri is currently offline Click here to Send Alpha Centauri a Private Message Find more posts by Alpha Centauri Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote
Alpha Centauri

Gender: Unspecified
Location: Ground Zero.

Account Restricted

Oh and if anyone actually ends up reading my finished version and likes it, I'd be more than happy to let you draw the finished product.



Signature by Starlock.

I review comics and such here:

Old Post Aug 6th, 2004 09:55 PM
Alpha Centauri is currently offline Click here to Send Alpha Centauri a Private Message Find more posts by Alpha Centauri Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote Quick Quote

Gender: Female
Location: --


This belongs in "General Fiction Area"



by Scythe

Old Post Aug 8th, 2004 03:10 AM
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