KMC Forums - Dark Shadow

j/k kidding you guys im not gonna make you wait that long.

Heres the first piece.

As always I want you to tell me what you didnt like about it and what needed improvement.Its pretty long so...here it goes.

It was a sunny saturday morning and Josh had been woken up by his dad.

"Son do you want to go to work with me today?"
"Right now?"
"Yes I have to leave in a half an hour"
"Ok just let me get dressed"
"Ok"his dad said as he exited the room.

Josh could hear him and his mom talking outside in whispers."So are you taking him?"his mom asked "Yes dear"his dad replied."Ok it will be good for you two.You need to spend more time with him.Just remember try not to ignore him all day"."Dont worry honey I wont"his dad assured her.

Josh got up quickly and took a shower.His dad worked as a scientist at a corporation called Nasacom.Everything in there was top secret and Josh didnt know what his dad did except that he was a scientist.He quickly got out of the shower and got dressed and was downstairs twenty minutes after his father had woken him.He found his dad reading a newspaper on his favorite chair in the living room.

His dad looked up from his paper to see Josh standing by the stairs.

"Ready son?"
"Yeah"

Josh's dad put down the papers and got up."Well lets go"his dad prompted as he walked out the door Josh right behind him.

They drove for about a half an hour before they reached the big building out in the country.The building was about twenty storys and said Nasacom at the very top.Josh looked up in awe.He had only been there twice before and only for 5 minutes at a time,and he had never been inside the builing.When they reached the door about a two minute walk from there parking space Josh's dad showed the security gard his I.D. and the gaurd let him in.Josh's dad acted like he owned the place he walked in and headed towards the elevator.Josh's dads office and lab was on the fifteenth floor.

1:00pm

Josh was sitting in a chair inside the lab watching his dad work with tubes and chemicals.Who knew what he was doing.Josh then asked him a question.

"Dad what are you doing?"
"Well im mixing an A type selmite chemiacl with a B-C type and seeing what I come up with.See"Storm saw the A and B-C type when mixed turn into a dark smokey substance.

Josh knew that was as much of an explantion he would get out of him since his dad wasnt authorized to discuss anymore so he simply responded with an"Oh"

2:50pm

"Now son I have to go to a meeting.Ill be back in thirty minutes can I trust you not to touch anything?"
"I wont touch anything"Josh assured him
"Ok"his dad replied and rushed out the door.

3:10pm

Josh began to get a little bored just sitting there.Waiting for his dad to come back so he decided to take a walk around the building.It couldnt do no harm if just took a stroll.After all his dad just said dont touch anything not dont go anywhere.Josh ducked out of the room and began walking down the hallway.He saw more offices and labs and people working and then stoping to stare and thirteen year old kid walking by and then returning to there work.After a while Josh reached the end of the hallway,but it wasnt just a wall it was a door.It read AUTHORIZED PERSONAL ONLY.It had only a key lock no fancy digit code or eye scanners just a lock.Josh quickly took out a paper clip.His friends had taught him how to pick a lock one time when they broke into the school one time and raded the teachers lounge only a year before.It was pretty easy.He moved felt the little places where the keys fit in and he aplied pressure with the paper clip after only a minute of trying it opened.

"Yes!"he said silently

He opened the room silently and saw his dad threw a glass wall talking to a other business men in suites.He could hear what they where saying threw a little speaker and he soon learned that the it was a one way mirror and they couldnt see him.

Josh remembered years before his dad said he was working on a project and the company Nasacom was gonna give him lab space and funding to create what he said he could create,but in return Josh's dad would be entitled to 20% of the inventions profiets.He and the President of Nasacom signed a contract and five years ago had started the project.Josh now stared into the glass listening to his father speak to the men.

"Welcome Gentleman.Today I have brought you here to see my creation.After 5 years of working and searching and hours and hours of testing I have found it.Yes gentleman I have found the thing that will revolutionize this world as we know it"he pointed to this table with a white sheet over it."This gentlemen is..."he pull the sheet off "is the miracle worker tho not its official name you two can call it what you like but it basically does what my title says".There on the the little table stood a tube containing a blue liquid."This little substance can cure over 30 diseases including Malaria and Lucemea".All the men awed."Exactly and all I ask for it 20% percent of all of your profets combined".Some of the men shook there heads."Yes but since its combined its only 5% for each of yo.....BANG.
Josh's dad collasped to the floor a pool of blood surrounded his body.Josh's dads boss was holding a gun.

"Now gentleman you dont really want to have to give this man 5% of your profits for the rest of your life.Youll be making billions with this and think of how big 5% is gonna be when your making that much.The men shook there heads in disbelief."Now Im sure not so I can just cover this up and makes copys of this formula for each of you or...."the boss pointed a gun at the small crowd"or some of you can join my dead friend".Everyone nodded in a way to see yes to his offer."Good"his boss said."Now gentleman you will be escorted out of this building by my good friend Marlin.A big tough guy came threw a doorway.The men got up and followed the man out the door.

Josh was in disbelief of what he just saw.He ran back to his dads office but once he got in he turned and triped on a trashcan.He then fell into a bunch of his dads chemicals.The dark smokey substance covered him like a blanket.He layed there stunned by his fathers death and by his fall and then he passed out.