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Corran
Lucifer
 Gender: Male
Location: Look out of your Window |
 Why Football Grounds Are Like Women
1. there is a vast difference in grounds with regards to length and width, thus varying the quality of play
2. pitches vary from the well grassed to the completley bald
3. remember, it is possible to score at both ends
4. tackling from behind is not always an offence, check with ground owner
5. be careful, as after a few pints a ground appears to be of premiership standard, but in reality would not even be eligible as a council dumping ground
6. only some grounds offer five a side facilities
7. dont ever make public your desires to play at Wembley, also never mention pitches previosly visited
8. extra time is dependant on subsequent pitch bookings
9. if the ground does not seem to have undersoil heating, suggest calling the game off, possibly even contact a coroner
10. when building a team it is always nice to finish with Seaman at the back
11. wet pitches allow for long sliding tackles
12. always ask before leaving the pitch and entering the tunnel, do not expect to be allowed to come straight from the tunnell to the goal mouth and score. that can leave an awful taste in the mouth of the pitch owner and may prevent further use of the ground
13. personal morals may be compromised by local derbies
14. it is illegal to play on small,unturfed pitches
15. from time to time the goal may be obstructed by a highly absorbant goalie
16. Bulgarian grounds are frequently more grassy
17. French grounds are frequently very nice too look at, however there can be sometimes an awful smell from the terraces which don't get hosed down as often as they should
18. very few grounds are found with executive boxes
19. be wary of grounds with room for coaches
20. always be on the lookout for grounds that host ladies footy two evenings a week
21. pitches with a waterlogged end, can be out of bounds for up to 5 days a month, although this can be longer if u piss the owner off by continually asking to play up the good end instead
22. players must agree personal terms with the club before being allowed to play on the turf
23. always look for a ground that has never been played on before (or at least hasn't had many visits). that said, well used grounds may have better facilities and will really know how to get the best out of a player
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Sep 2nd, 2003 05:05 PM |
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NinthCorona
Senior Member
 Gender: Male
Location: |
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Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.
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Jan 5th, 2004 11:57 PM |
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LanceWindu
Senior Member
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
Now if that wasn't a useless post I don't know what is.
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Jan 6th, 2004 12:06 AM |
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dave123
Funny Boy
 Gender: Female
Location: Cactusland? |
is this useless?
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Thanks to Ladyluck for the softcore porn!
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Jan 6th, 2004 12:06 AM |
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MC Mike
Voice of the Voiceless
 Gender: Male
Location: Locating |
Yes dave
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A posse ad esse.
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Jan 6th, 2004 12:09 AM |
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mechmoggy
Northern Monkey
 Gender: Male
Location: Changing nappies |
Corran - 
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Jan 7th, 2004 12:27 AM |
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mechmoggy
Northern Monkey
Gender: Male
Location: Changing nappies |
I was gonna say something about them all smelling of bovril and pies, but thats not always true. 
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Jan 7th, 2004 10:53 AM |
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Fire
Senior Member
 Gender: Male
Location: On vacation |
hehe
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Be smart, be cool, be sexy = be LIBERAL!
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Jan 7th, 2004 10:58 AM |
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Fire
Senior Member
Gender: Male
Location: On vacation |
he'll be back
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Be smart, be cool, be sexy = be LIBERAL!
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Jan 7th, 2004 11:16 AM |
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Abbita
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
- Never thought about it like that before.
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Jan 7th, 2004 12:13 PM |
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rusky
Waiting for da snow
 Gender: Male
Location: Wild Wild World |
Awesome
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Have fun||
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Jan 7th, 2004 12:26 PM |
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DeNiro
Senior Member
 Gender: Male
Location: |
HEY HEY CORRAN BACK  Good shit man
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Jan 7th, 2004 12:56 PM |
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furryman
honky
 Gender: Male
Location: Flying |
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Jun 4th, 2004 11:06 AM |
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Clovie
 Gender: Female
Location: lost in your dreams |
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Jun 4th, 2004 11:25 AM |
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Corran
Lucifer
Gender: Male
Location: Look out of your Window |
oops, I'd forgotten I had already posted this one, sorry Storm honey.
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Jun 4th, 2004 01:07 PM |
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Ms Chelle
ubuntu
 Gender: Female
Location: RM118 |
lol , thats funny
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made by Scribble
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Jun 4th, 2004 01:15 PM |
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sniper
Marksman extrordinare
 Gender: Male
Location: Look for the red dot... |
funny, but some of that's just wrong.
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Made by the wonderful Misha. 
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Jun 4th, 2004 03:21 PM |
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Corran
Lucifer
Gender: Male
Location: Look out of your Window |
nope it's all correct
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Jun 4th, 2004 03:23 PM |
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Ms Chelle
ubuntu
Gender: Female
Location: RM118 |
just curious corran , did you come up w/ that yourself ?
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made by Scribble
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Jun 4th, 2004 03:33 PM |
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Corran, your funny! 
