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TimeRacer
Junior Member
 Gender: Female
Location: Ohio |
 Jokes Men Won't Laugh At
I don't know why..but I decided to make a list of jokes Men Won't Laugh At (while looking at a book a friend bought me). So yeah...here are a couple:
Q: What do men and mascara have in common?
A: They both run at the first sign of any emotion.
Q: How do you hurt a man with words?
A: Slam a dictionary on his penis. (I'm a girl and that one hurts)
Men come in three sizes: Small, Medium, and GOD YES!!!
Son: Mommy, how do lions screw?
Mom: I don't know son. I've only screwed a pig.
A small boy was lost, so he went to a policeman.
"I've lost my dad!" he said.
"Well what does he like?" asked the officer.
The little boy replied: "Beer and women."
Q: How does a woman's G-spot differ from a golf ball?
A: A man will spend twenty minutes looking for a golf ball.
Q: Why are men like blenders?
A: Every woman has one and doesn't know why!
Husbands are like children. They're cute, as long as they belong to somebody else.
A woman tells her friend, "My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When I'm in a really good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a really bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead."
Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.
A professor of mathematics left this letter on the kitchen counter:
Dear Wife,
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Hilton Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
Your husband.
When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:
Dear Husband,
You, too, are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Sheraton Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, don't wait up.
Your wife
OK, I'll stop now. Sorry, guys. I couldn't resist.
__________________
..so..umm..yeah. I'm here.
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:07 AM |
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The Force
Holy Hypocrits!
 Gender: Male
Location: In my reality |
im not laughing 
__________________
Made by the awesome transforming Hegemon
Don't mess with The Force, because I ownz you. -The Force
Crazy Christian all over your candy arse. 
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:08 AM |
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube
 Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA Moderator |
Son: Mommy, how do lions screw?
Mom: I don't know son. I've only screwed a pig.
that one was funny. The rest aren't
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:09 AM |
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TimeRacer
Junior Member
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio |
Well I said men wouldn't laugh at them, didn't I?
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..so..umm..yeah. I'm here.
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:09 AM |
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NTonks
Crash's Wife
 Gender: Female
Location: Southern California |
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:10 AM |
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube
Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA Moderator |
well its debatable that most people, regardless of gender, wont laugh at them because they are just bad, generic jokes. Many of which i have heard before.
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:10 AM |
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Maximus_E.
Insane An' Enjoyin' It
 Gender: Male
Location: |
That one 'bout the dictionary was evil!!
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:12 AM |
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Pablo G
Coolest Beaner Around
 Gender: Male
Location: Hermosillo, Mexico |
The Four functions of women:
1. Add expenses.
2. Substract happiness.
3. Multiply trouble.
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"You can get further with a kind word and a gun, than just a kind word" - Al Capone
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:13 AM |
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The Force
Holy Hypocrits!
Gender: Male
Location: In my reality |
now that one was funny pablo
__________________
Made by the awesome transforming Hegemon
Don't mess with The Force, because I ownz you. -The Force
Crazy Christian all over your candy arse.
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:14 AM |
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CandyKoRn
In Orlando Blooms Pant's
 Gender: Female
Location: United Kingdom |
Sexist jokes.....
funny...
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 Go Banana Go Banana! Go! Go!
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:14 AM |
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113
Eat My Ass
 Gender: Male
Location: Brooklyn, NY |
hahhhaa
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http://www.FreePSPs.com/?r=17495261
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:14 AM |
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Dr. Leg Kick
Aesculapius
 Gender: Male
Location: Los Angeles |
lol
__________________
Life is short and the art long, the occasion instant, experiment perilous, decision difficult.
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:15 AM |
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TimeRacer
Junior Member
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio |
I don't think I ever claimed they were funny, either. Oh well. I was just really bored.
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..so..umm..yeah. I'm here.
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:15 AM |
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The Force
Holy Hypocrits!
Gender: Male
Location: In my reality |
actually the jokes were kinda funny 
__________________
Made by the awesome transforming Hegemon
Don't mess with The Force, because I ownz you. -The Force
Crazy Christian all over your candy arse.
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:16 AM |
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Pablo G
Coolest Beaner Around
Gender: Male
Location: Hermosillo, Mexico |
Why are women like geography?
When their age is between 0 and 15 they are like the Revillagigedo islands, virgins and unexplored.
From 16 to 25 they're like Africa, half explored and very wild.
From 26 to 35 they are like Europe, already toured and half-destroyed.
From 36 to 55 they're like México, they receive anyone with open arms.
From 55 and so on they're like Oceany, everyone knows they exist but everyone hardly visits them.
__________________
"You can get further with a kind word and a gun, than just a kind word" - Al Capone
Last edited by Pablo G on Oct 6th, 2003 at 02:25 AM
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:17 AM |
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The Force
Holy Hypocrits!
Gender: Male
Location: In my reality |
lol 
__________________
Made by the awesome transforming Hegemon
Don't mess with The Force, because I ownz you. -The Force
Crazy Christian all over your candy arse.
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:22 AM |
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube
Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA Moderator |
haha, those were good pablo.
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:23 AM |
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Pablo G
Coolest Beaner Around
Gender: Male
Location: Hermosillo, Mexico |
Why dogs are like women:
1. They look ridicoulous wearing a hat.
2. They can eat 3 punds of chocolate in one setting.
3. They don't know shit about football.
4. They're excellent in pretending they listen to you.
5. They always want their backs scratched.
6. Neither can balance a check book.
7. You can never know in what they are thinking.
Why dogs are better:
1. Dogs don't cry.
2. They love it when your friends come over.
3. They don't care if you use their shampoo.
4. They don't expect you to call if you're going to be late at home.
5. The longer you take in arriving the better they receive you.
6. They don't mind if you play with other dogs.
7. They don't notice if you said another name when you call them
9. They don't care if you give away their puppies.
10. Everyone can get a cute dog.
11. If he's cool other dogs don't get jealous.
12. Dogs don't go shopping.
13. They love a dirty floor.
14. They never analize the relationship.
15. Their parents never come over.
16. They love long road trips.
17. They don't ask you if they're fat.
18. They never listen to boy bands.
19. They never criticize.
20. They don't expect presents.
21. Es legal to have them on a leash.
22. They don't care about your old relationships with other dogs.
__________________
"You can get further with a kind word and a gun, than just a kind word" - Al Capone
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:24 AM |
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube
Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA Moderator |
"they love sex" HAHAHHA!!!
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Oct 6th, 2003 02:25 AM |
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