KMC Forums - I am my own grandpa

i think it was TH that said this and well i found the poem big grin

I Am My Own Grandpa

Many, many years ago
When I was twenty three
I got married to a widow
Pretty as could be.

This widow had a grown up daughter
With flowing hair of red,
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
Now my daughter was my mother,
For she was my father's wife.

To complicate the matters worse
Although it brought me joy,
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad,
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.

For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown up daughter,
Who of course was my step-mother.

Father's wife then had a son
Who kept them on the run,
And he became my grandson
For he was my daughter's son.

My wife is now my mother's mother
And it makes me blue.
Because although she is my wife,
She's now my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it
It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw,
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa

weird...thats confused me huh

right ok so e married a widow and his dad married his daughter huh

and then they had a waen....aaaaagh i wish i neva read this lol

its confusing but funny laughing out loud

yeah...i shouldnt read these things lol im still trying to work it out lol

lol ive got one
It was sometime last year that it happened
A hot, balmy day in late May.
I lie!... it must have been August
'Cos the wife and the kids were away.

I was thinking I'd go in the garden
And potter about in the veg'
Or maybe I'd tidy the borders
And possibly trim back the hedge.

So I'm standing there minding my business
Surveying the state of the lawn
When I happened to notice the woman next door
Nude!... as the day she was born.

At that precise moment, she happened to turn
As she reached for her tube of sun-cream,
And seeing me standing not twelve foot away
She let out a blood-curdling scream...

"You dirty old bugger!" she ranted
Can women not sunbathe in peace?
Is no woman safe from old Peeping Toms?
Okay!... well I'm calling the police!"

They gave me a right dressing down when they came
No matter how much I protested.
"We've had blokes like you at the station before,
Once more... and we'll have you arrested!"

The following week, it was sunny again
And I'm sitting there all on my own.
So I peeped through the curtains, just to make sure
That the woman next door wasn't home.

There was nobody out in the garden
'Gone into town I suppose!'
So grabbing the lounger from out of the shed,
I quickly stripped off... all my clothes.

So I'm lying there, gently baking
All covered in sun-tanning cream
When all of a sudden... from the garden next door
I heard that familiar scream!

"You dirty old bugger!" she ranted
"Can women not garden in peace?
Is no woman safe from a flasher like you?
Okay... well I'm calling the police!"

that woman needs to be shot laughing out loud

lol she really does, if i had neighbours like that id move lol

Nothing more than a Ray Stevens song...rip off.

that first one, it was in our english course book, I loved it smile

The first one was written by Ray Stevens, it is actually a song.

You can see Tom Arnold sing it in the movie The Stupids.

Cause the movie blew chinks.

those last few images stick out tongue

you were thinking of me? stick out tongue