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The Alpha
anomaly
Gender: Unspecified Location: |
Dont Fart In Bed
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting, which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horroron his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."
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Aug 7th, 2004 06:40 AM |
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SlipknoT
Restricted
Gender: Male Location: New Jersey Account Restricted |
that one was ok, alpha please go vote for me in the kmc election
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Rob Owns You, Barbarossa, Tired Hiker, Fearnix, Ronny, Raven Guardia, Wolflet, DEM, spidergrl, Dr. Strangelove, eggmayo, Filth, Korri, JM, Ken Kenobi, ~Sir Mist~, Lana
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Aug 7th, 2004 06:45 AM |
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Tex
Yumsz
Gender: Unspecified Location: Tampa, FL, USA |
(please log in to view the image)
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Aug 7th, 2004 06:45 AM |
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The Alpha
anomaly
Gender: Unspecified Location: |
slip> it is in KMC rules that no politics is allowed here
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Aug 7th, 2004 06:50 AM |
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Stormy Day
Restricted
Gender: Male Location: United States Account Restricted |
I heard that one once
Its so freakin hilarious
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Days until new season of CSI:26
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Aug 7th, 2004 06:50 AM |
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SlipknoT
Restricted
Gender: Male Location: New Jersey Account Restricted |
no, just go in to the KMC president thread and say I vote Slipknot, please, it would be a huge favor.
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Rob Owns You, Barbarossa, Tired Hiker, Fearnix, Ronny, Raven Guardia, Wolflet, DEM, spidergrl, Dr. Strangelove, eggmayo, Filth, Korri, JM, Ken Kenobi, ~Sir Mist~, Lana
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Aug 7th, 2004 06:53 AM |
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The Alpha
anomaly
Gender: Unspecified Location: |
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Aug 7th, 2004 06:54 AM |
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Stormy Day
Restricted
Gender: Male Location: United States Account Restricted |
I didnt get the first
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Days until new season of CSI:26
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Aug 7th, 2004 07:13 AM |
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The Alpha
anomaly
Gender: Unspecified Location: |
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Aug 7th, 2004 07:16 AM |
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JKozzy
Agent Kozzy
Gender: Male Location: Chaos.
There can only be CHAOS! |
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Aug 7th, 2004 05:25 PM |
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Gaca
KATIUSHA
Gender: Unspecified Location: |
ewwww
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Aug 7th, 2004 05:27 PM |
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Discos
The Discmeister
Gender: Male Location: Scotland |
people tell me I fart when I sleep,
Discos - nice story
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"In the year of our Lord 1314, patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the fields at Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets. They fought like Scotsmen. And won their freedom."
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Aug 7th, 2004 05:27 PM |
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