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Crime doesn't pay!!
Started by: shellspeare

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shellspeare
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Location: United Kingdom

Tongue Crime doesn't pay!!

Crime Doesn't Pay

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor
home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the
motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd
ever had.

***
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was
a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone
and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the
newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the
thief was arrested.

***
David Posman, 33, was arrested recently in Providence, R.I, after
allegedly knocking out an armored car driver and stealing the closest
four bags of money. It turned out they contained $800 in PENNIES,
weighed 30 pounds each, and slowed him to a stagger during his
getaway so that police officers easily jumped him from behind.

***
Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in
Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The
prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge"
in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said
Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in
court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge
discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he
required a five-minute recess to compose himself.

***
Clever drug traffickers used a propane tanker truck entering El Paso
from Mexico. They rigged it so propane gas would be released from all
of its valves while the truck concealed 6,240 pounds of marijuana.
They were clever, but not bright. They misspelled the name of the
gas company on the side of the truck.

***
Oklahoma City -Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery
of a convenience store in a district court this week when he fired
his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47,
was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager
testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the
woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your [expletive]
head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "-if I'd been
the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton
and recommend a 30-year sentence.

***
R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing
their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit
neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officers
asked him for a piece of identification. Gaitlin gave them his
driver's license, they entered it into the computer, and moments
later they arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed
that Gaitlin was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St.
Louis, Missouri.


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Old Post Nov 19th, 2004 10:54 AM
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Ax3l
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oh it sure does pay......2...3 mil US money from a bank....just kidding, ive done nothing of the sort wink wink wink


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Old Post Nov 19th, 2004 04:19 PM
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Filth
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LOL


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Old Post Nov 19th, 2004 05:13 PM
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Mane
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AAHAHAHAHA!! thats great.

Old Post Nov 19th, 2004 05:58 PM
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T.M
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LMAO at the first one lol


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Old Post Nov 19th, 2004 06:43 PM
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Genesis-Soldier
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lool


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Old Post Jul 26th, 2015 03:37 AM
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Surtur
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I have an entire book full of stories like these in my bathroom. One of the stories has a person in court accused of robbing a persons home. When the person questioning them tells the time the robbery occurred the defendant quickly responded it couldn't of been him because he was robbing a different place at the time in question.

Then there is a funny one about mobsters. They picked up a guy intending to kill him, had him in the backseat of a car. There was him in the middle of the seat with two mobsters on each side, a gun pointing at him from both mobsters. Suddenly the vehicle made a quick turn when they were about to pull the trigger and the guy in the middle..who they had forced into the car and not put a seatbelt on..was thrown forward far enough that the shots missed him and ended up hitting each of the mob men. One was paralyzed from the waist down from the shot. After that the man they tried to kill would send the guy a card every year that said "Keep rolling, your friend Johnny".

Or you had the people that had the great idea to tunnel underground into a bank. But they got mixed up and tunneled up right into a police station.


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Last edited by Surtur on Jul 28th, 2015 at 11:04 PM

Old Post Jul 28th, 2015 11:01 PM
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Scribble
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Drumdude1167
oh it sure does pay......2...3 mil US money from a bank....just kidding, ive done nothing of the sort wink wink wink
A Portrait of the Axel as a Young Man


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2003 — 2024

Old Post Jul 28th, 2015 11:06 PM
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Flyattractor
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If I wanted to work for a living I wouldn't have gone into crime.


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Old Post Jul 29th, 2015 12:44 AM
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dynamix
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Location: Boston

Re: Crime doesn't pay!!

quote: (post)
Originally posted by shellspeare
Crime Doesn't Pay

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor
home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the
motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd
ever had.



OHH HELL NAH!!! *PUKE!!*

Old Post Jul 29th, 2015 04:38 AM
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riv6672
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Flyattractor
If I wanted to work for a living I wouldn't have gone into crime.

Crime is hard work, dammit!


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Old Post Jul 29th, 2015 11:03 AM
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Flyattractor
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by riv6672
Crime is hard work, dammit!


Your just dong it wrong.


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Banned 30 days for the Crime of "ETC"... and when I "ETC" I do it HARD!!!
Happy Dance Happy Dance Happy Dance Happy Dance

Old Post Jul 29th, 2015 02:22 PM
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riv6672
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No way, i was quite good at it back in the day. thumb up


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Old Post Jul 29th, 2015 02:39 PM
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Time-Immemorial
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Flyattractor
Your just dong it wrong.


What you expect from a loserlaughing out loud


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Old Post Jul 29th, 2015 02:45 PM
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Flyattractor
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by riv6672
No way, i was quite good at it back in the day. thumb up



So why you not King Pin Riv now?


__________________
Banned 30 days for the Crime of "ETC"... and when I "ETC" I do it HARD!!!
Happy Dance Happy Dance Happy Dance Happy Dance

Old Post Jul 29th, 2015 02:52 PM
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Flyattractor
So why you not King Pin Riv now?


Cause he's not a in charge black man like he pretends to be.

He's a slack jawed puss.


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Old Post Jul 29th, 2015 02:53 PM
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Flyattractor
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Herochat took all the steam out of him over the years.

Its like radiation poisoning.


__________________
Banned 30 days for the Crime of "ETC"... and when I "ETC" I do it HARD!!!
Happy Dance Happy Dance Happy Dance Happy Dance

Old Post Jul 29th, 2015 03:01 PM
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Time-Immemorial
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Flyattractor
Herochat took all the steam out of him over the years.

Its like radiation poisoning.


This place is dying as well, he won't have anything left put his troll profile and a ball less sac.


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Old Post Jul 29th, 2015 03:03 PM
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Flyattractor
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quote: (post)
Originally posted by Time-Immemorial
This place is dying as well, he won't have anything left put his troll profile and a ball less sac.


Eh. Its like radioactive cockroaches.


And aren't you a mod over there?


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Banned 30 days for the Crime of "ETC"... and when I "ETC" I do it HARD!!!
Happy Dance Happy Dance Happy Dance Happy Dance

Old Post Jul 29th, 2015 03:15 PM
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Hell no, Riv was but got demodded.


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Old Post Jul 29th, 2015 03:17 PM
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