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silver_tears
can i keep you?
 Gender: Female
Location: life not wasted |
Kiss me I'm Irish  
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diamonds. she'll pretty much have to.
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Mar 17th, 2004 07:02 PM |
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fuct_up_kid
Trash Flavoured Trash
 Gender: Female
Location: |
HELL YEAH!!! IRELAND RULES!!!
i luv this joke sooo much!
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he couldn't stand still.
He asked Father Murphy for some advice. Father Murphy replied, "When I'm
worried about gettin' nervous on the pulpit, I take a wee bit o' whiskey.
Just to calm my nerves."
So the next Sunday he took the older priest's advice. Before the
mass, he got nervous and took a drink. He then proceeded to talk up a
storm. Upon return to his office after mass, he found the following note
on his door:
1. A few sips of whiskey. Not the whole bottle.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
Senior, Junior, and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say
"He was stoned off his ass."
10. We do not refer to the cross as the Big T!
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this
and eat it, for it is my body"; he did not say, "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not referred to as the, "Mary with the Cherry".
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: "Rub-A-dub-dub, thanks
for the grub, yea God"
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy-pulling contest at St. Patrick's,
not a patrick-pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
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I hate to break this to you, but being a coward is not a legitimate career
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Mar 18th, 2004 08:23 PM |
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fuct_up_kid
Trash Flavoured Trash
Gender: Female
Location: |
LOL!!! and if you cant tell by my sig, i absolutely luv ireland!!!!
After a heavy night's drinking, two Irishmen stagger home from their country pub, intending to take a short cut through the graveyard. Being much the worse for wear, they decide to
take a rest against a stone, where Paddy reads the inscription. "Do y'know, Michael, this fella here lived till he was 103!!" "And did he come from hereabouts then?" asks Michael. "No,"
says Paddy, reading the stone, "he was Miles, from Dublin"
__________________
I hate to break this to you, but being a coward is not a legitimate career
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Mar 18th, 2004 08:25 PM |
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@F1
Tomato Crisps
 Gender: Male
Location: United Kingdom |
what happend to the 12 irishman doing the River Dance
They drown
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Mar 18th, 2004 10:16 PM |
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Abbita
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: |
my uncle has LOADS of irish jokes....most are too offensive to write here though 
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Mar 18th, 2004 10:23 PM |
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crazy_c
Very Tired
 Gender: Female
Location: Sea of decay |
All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands.
- Saint Patrick
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Mar 18th, 2004 10:27 PM |
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fuct_up_kid
Trash Flavoured Trash
Gender: Female
Location: |
what's black, blue and floats in sydney harbour?
a guy telling 'paddy the irishman' jokes
__________________
I hate to break this to you, but being a coward is not a legitimate career
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Mar 19th, 2004 07:10 AM |
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KMC Community Forums
St. Patricks Day Jokes!!
